Lost Lives Ch. 03

"Steph that was a different time, damn near twenty years ago, you were about fifteen at the time."

"Mitch, that maybe but it didn't stop me from thinking about it all though, so I did the one thing I now regret doing, and will regret doing for the rest of my life, I asked my Mother."

Yeah, didn't see that coming, shoulda, didn't. I looked at her exasperated, "Ok, ok, I know where this is going Steph and I can understand how you could get the wrong end of the stick. I should be pissed at your Mother but I'm not, there is nothing going on with Ginia, Virginia, you know that now, don't you?"

"Yes, over the last week's we have reconnected and she's told me everything, she's trying to get in contact with.."

"Yeah Steph, she did, today, we talked, she pulled my head out of my ass, again and now here we are."

"So anyway its no excuse, but that's why you found me in Night Moves with the three Stooges. And before you ask, NO not ever, and we met on-line on a group sex site. Would I've, probably, with those three -- never. Why did I do it -- because I'm stupid, an over active imagination had me stir-crazy and I thought I needed revenge for what I thought you and Virginia were up to. And I know you said not to but I'm gonna -- Mitch I apologise without reservation, again I am wrong, I know from every bit of evidence I can find, I am wrong."

We stood and stared at each other, my head was starting to hurt, "Steph, so am I, I'm sorry too, we should not have carried on the ruse after we got back together the first time. Then would have been the time to have come clean. Ok I admit I was feeling hurt and deceived but I'd also got over it once I processed everything, Oh I knew a lot more than what I let on and with Ginia's help I got over it a lot quicker than what I thought I would...."

"But .....Steph it's not enough is it?"

"Mitch, Honey, I've done it twice to the man I loved the most, the first time I was lucky, I should of got down on my knees and crawled behind you for the rest of my life, Mitch -- You know that?"

I nodded, "Yes Steph I know what you mean."

"The second time, well there shouldn't have been a second time, Life doesn't allow you to kick it in the crotch twice and not suffer the consequences ....I've realised my stupidity, I've done a lot of soul searching and I've come to the conclusion, I will at some stage in our life together end up doing this again, to You, to Janine, and to Me?"

"Okay so tell me your solution, although I'm guessing I already know. Are you promising it will happen or fearing that it will happen? Neither is acceptable, one just makes it a bit more bearable."

"No Mitch, fearing it, really fearing it."

"Okay I can accept that, I don't know that I haven't been there myself recently."

"Oh really Mitch? Oh you mean with Virginia, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do, I didn't act on it though."

"Given the circumstances, I wish it had gone further, it may have eased my guilt for what I've put you through."

"Mitch please I'm asking, not begging, and you don't need to tell me right now, just please consider it, if you say no honey, I will accept that and we'll deal with it as best we can, but please just think about it, would you please think about giving me a divorce?"

Well I did and we did, both consenting to it, and probably the most amicable divorce in the history of our state based on what I've read in our major newspapers. Actually a lot happened that probably made it a lot weirder than what you would imagine, we never gave up on the sex, in fact the toy-box got opened again, on numerous occasion's, we ate meals as a family and laughed and joked, cried as a family, we weren't in a hurry to end our lives together, we knew it was inevitable just weren't doing it at any great rate, funnily enough all three of us found we had no attachment to the house, it had served it's purpose and we had decided it would be too big for just one of us and it needed to be filled with the laughter of a family.

Steph was making plans to buy a condo, We had the money to do that without selling the house and my plans were to maybe find a little cottage in one of the half dozen little satellite villages that surround a University Town, one by the name of Winchester Village intrigued me, the house was about what I needed and Janine wanted to stay with her Mum during the week anyway.

I still hadn't really done anything about it, when out of the blue a job offer came my way. It was from another University who did a roaring trade in the foreign student education sector and over the last five years enrollments had quadrupled. They were increasing staff and infrastructure to cope and senior English literature Lecturer's and Professor's who were looking to move were thin on the ground, two things though one was it was in Canada and second the University was located on the Pacific North West Coast.

Janine's first reaction was "Cool."

Steph's first reaction was "Oh, Hell."

"Why Steph?"

"Mitch, It's a shock, is what it is, just a shock."

I made no definitive plans, it wasn't tomorrow, it was the new year and that was nine months away, however I thought I better start preparing so I hunted for a two bed flat and got rid of a lot of stuff I thought if I did move thousands of miles across country I wouldn't have to take with me. The next weirdest thing was that despite the fact we hadn't rushed we were both out of our house and it was sold in little over three months.

I'd not heard from Gin in that period although Janine had said some time ago that she was dating.

Well at the time I'd actually felt great for her, I'd said to Janine that she was only thirty-eight she needed a man in her life and if Neil got a new Dad into the bargain well win -- win, Janine got on her high horse and told me I didn't know what I was talking about. Kids!

Anyway, My first Friday night in my new flat, I was actually writing again, the novel, drafts really but more than I'd done in a long time when my front door threatened to come through and invade my living room. Apprehensively I walked to it, but once I heard Janine mumbling I opened it.

"DAD! FINALLY, what were you doing, I was banging for ages."

"And a good evening to you too Janine, won't you come ....ah never mind."

"I need a place to crash, I've had enough of her shit, stupid bitch's gone out on a date."

"Janine, please don't talk about you're Mum like that, and for the final time we are divorced, if she wants to date, well good on her, I'm surprised though she said she was gonna have a quiet night in."

"Not Mum, she's curled up on kindle, no Ginia, She's gone on a date."

"So Janine funnily enough she's an adult too that doesn't live in Janine-land either, so if she wants to date good on her. Besides she's been dating before and before you start again Janine, us olden folk aren't getting any younger."

"Well actually Dad, this is the first time she's dated since before her divorce."

"Oh well, that's good."

"No it's not, it's not good at all."

"Oh I know I'm gonna regret this, Okay Janine, shock me, why is it gonna not be good?"

"Because she told me, when I asked her why she was going out on a date tonight, she said that she's given up waiting, 'he's never coming back Janine' and that's when I stormed out."

"I'm missing something here Janine aren't I?"

My daughter started to look like a pressure cooker. "MY FATHER IS AN IDIOT! It's you she's talking about, it's always been about you. She adores you, she told me, repeatedly, YOU are the only one that missed it, I even told you, but you've missed your chance now. IDIOT!!"

Not my biggest moment, actually felt three inches tall.

I don't think she realised who it was until I was stood in front of them, well there was four of us, her and him sitting facing each other at a candle-lit table, the wine waiter holding the wine list trying to interest them in a curious little Pinot-Gris from the bottom of the world.

And there was me.

Janine had asked me what I was going to say to her, I replied, "The first thing that pop's into my head."

So when she asked her date to "Please excuse me for just one second Don."

All I could do was look at him apologetically as I moved in the direction she was pointing.

When we got to the relative seclusion of the foyer and she stood, arms folded, in front of me I gulped for what could be my final breath, well that meant anything that is.

She looked at me seriously, "What are you doing Mitch? Here, now, what are you doing?"

I looked at her, through visible frustration and anger I guessed, I could see the smile, in her eye's, faint. As she waited, for the answer, I gulped again and begun, "I deciphered all the input and made a decision based on my observations, copy book really, now I'm planning, on moving forward, rebuilding positivity." I turned and left.

The taxi stand was not far, walking distance.

As I stood waiting she came over and stood right in front of me, "If we do this Mitch, you're mine for ever, you do know that, I'm not about to give you up again." There was a look of expectation.

"Oh, I know." returning the same look.

Her eye's were smiling again, "Good Mitch take me home please."