Lost Love Ch. 02

"I'd like you too but I understand if you don't want to."

"Ask away, I'll just tell you to move on if I don't want to answer."

"Okay that's fair. So how have you been?"

"Okay. I'm working with Sam now."

"Ahh that's how you know her. She seems like fun."

"Yeah, a real maneater so watch out."

"Thanks, but I'm not interested in her. Not been interested in anyone since we broke up."

Tamsin raised her left eyebrow quizzically at me. "Really?" she asked.

"Really. I wouldn't lie to you nor would cheat on you."

"Well it's not cheating if we're divorced is it?"

"That what I was trying to tell you in the car when the idiot tried to crash in to us." She looked confused. "When you left I took the divorce papers and threw them in a box with a few things I didn't want to see at the time. Then a few weeks ago I was looking for my old exam certificates and I found the box. The papers were never signed."

Tamsin's face dropped. "You mean, we're still married?"

"Yes, even after I found them I cried myself in to a mess and when I got in to work I was told to take a break. I booked this trip that day and was on the plane two days later."

"Why the hell didn't you call me to tell me? I could have found someone and tried to marry and how would that have bloody looked?"

"Tamsin, I still love you I looked for you. When I called you the number said it was unavailable. Your Mum told me never to call you again. I sat in my car outside her place every night for a month, but I only saw you once. And that night I was crying so bad that I couldn't get out of the car. Two nights later the police came and told me I had been reported loitering and if I didn't want to be arrested I'd better stay clear."

"Stephen, I stayed at Mums for two nights then moved in with Charles." Charles had been an old friend of ours, I knew that nothing had happened between her and Charles as he was gay and he was living with his long term partner Peter. "Mum did tell you not to call because I was upset. Charles told me about the job with Sam and I got it near enough straight away."

"Are you still living at Charles' place?"

"No. I rent a small studio place across from town. Did you sell the house?" She looked sad at the thought.

"No. I couldn't sell it. It's our home. We had some wonderful times living there. Selling it would mean I lost a bit more of you. I've lost myself for all this time I came away because I couldn't take being without you anymore."

"You mean you found out we were coming here? You followed me?" She started getting angry.

Our food arrived which broke the tension.

"Tamsin I had absolutely no idea where you lived, where you worked and zero knowledge you were going to be away on holiday here." She eyed me suspiciously. I asked after her mother and we made small talk over the food. I paid for the meal and we stood to leave the restaurant. Instead of getting in the car we walked to the cliff top and sat. Tamsin sighed heavily.

"Stephen when you said you came away because I couldn't take being without me anymore, what did you mean?" She left the question in the air, but she looked worried.

"If you're asking if I was going to end it all then no, I wasn't. People told me to go away and party and get laid and if I couldn't party then to pay for sex. I came away because I needed to work out if I was ever going to get over you."

"And?" she asked.

"And I realised I will never get over you. I'm destined to be on my own forever. I got asked out once in all this time and she was nice but after 10 minutes I just couldn't cheat on you. Christ! Sam and Mary are both hot. I turned Mary down and wouldn't even consider Sam. I still love you. I want you back and I miss you." My voice began to crack and I was on the verge of tears.

"I still love you Stephen but ..." I stopped her midsentence.

"But you have a new life now, your apartment, your job and new friends. I get it." She looked sadder than I ever saw her before. "when I get back I'll get the old papers and I'll get them sorted and you can be free of me."

"That not what I was going to say. Well some of it was but it wasn't all of what I wanted to say." I looked in to her eyes as the tears welled up. "Yes I have my new life as you put it but I have never stopped loving you. I am not going to just stop who I am now and run back home with you."

Now it was my turn to look sadder then I ever had.

"Okay, so where does that leave us?" Tamsin shrugged her shoulders and looked at her feet. I carried on after a pause. "Can we get together tomorrow and talk again? Maybe lunch or dinner?" She nodded.

I stood and offered my hand to help her up. She took it and while walking to the car she held my arm like she had for many years in the past.

The drive back was silent, we literally never spoke a word. Unsurprisingly as we pulled up at the hotel Mary and Sam were watching from the bar window. I got out and walked around and opened the door and helped Tamsin out. We stared in to each others eyes for a minute. When she broke the spell saying good night and she would see me tomorrow. No time was set which disturbed me. She turned and left me by the car then I climbed in to the drivers seat and went to the car park and turned it off and sat in silence for a few moments. Then I gathered myself and went to my room. The second my door closed I realised that with no time set for us to meet it be unlikely to happen and that would be the end. I climbed on the bed and exhaustion overwhelmed me and I fell in to a fitful disturbed sleep.

Sun streamed through the window and woke me, so I went in the bathroom and showered. Once dressed I heard a knock at the door. Well I thought I had heard a knock be a look through the spy hole showed no one there. As I stepped back there was a piece of paper at my feet. I stooped and picked it up and opened it. All it said was '10am at Rory's Bar'. I reread it and then opened the door but by the time I opened it the note writer had disappeared, it must have been Tamsin. Looking at my watch it was only 8.30 so I gathered my things and went for breakfast. The girlies were all there a little quieter than usual. Tamsin was there in a flowing blue dress and Sam was sporting a pair of shorts and a little top. Mary stopped by the table in her green mini skirt and top and asked if I was ok. I shrugged. She smiled weakly and left me to it. I was eating when a shadow covered the table. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the flash of blue and knew it was Tamsin. I looked up and smiled.

"Lunch at one o'clock ok for you?" she asked. I nodded. "See you then." With that she was gone. It was not until she had left the restaurant that I realised there was the 10am meeting at Rory's Bar. I thought it had been Tamsin and now I was wrong.

I was fifteen minutes early and I grabbed a lemonade and sat to one side. I was lost in thought when I realised someone was sitting down opposite me. I looked up and saw the guy that was trying to get in to Tamsin's pants and had got in to Kate's. Kyle.

"Just thought I'd let you know that Sin is off the market. She's with me." I grinned. "So dunno what your game is but by the end of the day she'll be in my bed and forgetting all about some bloke she's bumped in to from her past."

"Some bloke?" I questioned.

"Yeah, you!"

"I don't think so Kyle. It's a bit hard for her to forget about her husband. Don't you?"

"Fuck off." He explained loudly causing several patrons turned around.

"That's right Kyle. Tamsin is my wife, so I think she can hardly forget me."

"Well I don't fucking care, don't try getting in my way right? She's off the market, get it?"

"I think you should ask her about that before saying it."

"I mean it get in my way and I'll kick the shit out of you." He stood trying to intimidate me.

"Kyle. I'll be at the restaurant at about quarter past one. Ask me again then." He stomped off.

I was about to leave the bar when a pair of shorts and little top appears that was topped off with red hair got in my way.

"I heard that." Sam said. Pushing back in to my seat and plonking herself next to me. "Tamsin is my best friends Stephen but I am going to go for broke here." She pushed herself against me and kissed me I pushed her off.

"Sam!" I stated not too loudly.

"Listen Stephen. If Tamsin dumps you I am all yours. But if you two make a go of your marriage then I will be the best and loyalist friend the pair of you will ever have."

"But that kiss?"

"Right first I needed to kiss you once. Kind of a confidence thing for me. Guys don't often turn me down. I'm no slut though. Second, I wanted to see your reaction. It told me all I need to know. You won't cheat on her. Third Sin, I mean Tamsin, and I talked last night. I told her she is the dumbest bitch I've ever known, Mary agreed. We told her outright that you destined to be together. She couldn't make her mind up whether to meet you today. You also have another ally."

"Really ... Kyle?" I joked and Sam laughed.

"No Kate. She is a bit of a slut at times but she has some decency. Last night Kyle saw Sin getting back with you and as she never kissed or hugged you he assumed she was fair game. Apparently after Kate and him had sex last night he told her he was going to ... how did he put it - oh yes 'Nail her hard enough she'll forget that bloke that's hanging around'. This morning after breakfast Mary, Sin and I were at the pool when Kate told Sin to be careful of Kyle and his plans for her. I saw him head out without his mates so I knew he was up to something hence coming here. Stephen, Sin loves you and you love her."

"I know Sam but last night ..." She looked at me nodding.

"She told me and I'll tell you what I told her. Don't throw something away on a principle or a grudge. So what if she has a flat? It's a bloody rental. She can keep her job, I'm hardly going to fire her over getting back with husband. I told outright that if she doesn't want you then I was going to aggressively pursue you and make you mine. She'll have to put up with seeing you with me at company functions and she'll be invited to our wedding and all our family events." It looked shocked I know I did. "Yes Stephen that's how much I want you but I also told her that if she wanted you back then I would be her best friend and the only thing that will happen between you and me will be a hug at events and totally platonic." I was taken aback.

"Sam if Tamsin dumps me I can't see me wanting anyone else. I am flattered.

"Stephen, I've never felt about a guy like I feel about you. Ever!" she flushed red. "If it goes wrong, please don't count me out. Okay."

"Ok." I weakly replied. "I'm meeting her at one at the restaurant. Kyle will be turning up and out quarter past. Hopefully he'll get the idea then." We left the bar and drifted apart she headed to the pool and I to my room. I did see her reflection in a window staring sorrowfully at me. As hot as she was Tamsin was the one I loved.

At one o'clock I was sat at my table and watch the door. In breezed Tamsin and sat down. I'd pre-ordered drinks and she pick up her glass and drank from it.

"One question." She blurted out. I smiled. "If I was out of the picture would you want Sam?"

"That's easy. Before I knew you were here, Sam hit on me in the bar one night and I turned her down because I still loved you. If after this meal we are going to end it all then it'd take a lot for me to date anyone let alone settle again. If Sam wanted me and it was a few years then maybe I may date her once or twice. But Tamsin, if there is ever a chance that you and I can be together then I would never even consider it because I would have everything I want. You!" Tamsin smiled.

"I'm not jumping back in the house Stephen."

"I don't expect that. This is going to be really presumptuous, but can we leave and go sit in my room and talk. I think we'll be watched if we sit here." I chuckled. "Not asking for us to go to bed or anything like that just get some privacy. We can sit on the balcony and order room service."

"Ok. Just behave yourself." She giggled. I stood and held out my hand and she took it and we walked towards the exit as Kyle appeared. His face turned to thunder as we approached.

"I told you to leave her alone. She's off the market." He started.

"No Kyle, I'm not." Tamsin flared up. "You were a bit of laugh but you are not in Stephen's league. He's my husband and yes we've had our ups and downs but I still love him and trust me I'm going to his room right now and spend a lot time there with him. Don't ever come near me again." She walked past him,

"Frigid bitch." He barked at her. The concierge came over immediately as I had tipped him off before getting to the restaurant.

"Sir, please moderate your language this is a family hotel and if you cannot behave yourself we'll have you ejected." Kyle's eyes bulged and he stormed off.

We never spoke until the door of the room closed.

"You still love me Tamsin?"

"I do yes." It took only two steps to stand in front of her. I took her face in my hands and kissed her gently on the lips. It was not a passionate snog it was a symbol that I wanted her as my wife again.

"I love you Tamsin, I've never stopped loving you. I want you back as my wife. I don't expect coming home or sex or anything like that right now. I want to date you again and win you back."

"You won me back a few times here. Once when you turned Mary down. Once when you told me you loved me still and again when Sam kissed you at Rory's bar. Yes, she told me you pushed her off and that you only loved me and if we didn't make a go of us then you thought you'd be alone forever because you only loved me. So Stephen I have to ask you something. Can we be husband and wife again?" I almost dried with happiness and nodded frantically.

We sat in my room and talked and talked. After we ate, we talked more then it was late and we ended up falling asleep on the bed. When morning came we woke and ordered breakfast. Finally after we had eaten and showered, we dressed and I walked her to her chalet. Inside she changed in to her swimsuit and we headed to the poolside hand in hand. Sam spotted us first with the biggest of smiles. We arrived at the group of 'girlies' and they all made comments like "Oh Sin who's this?" and "OK where were you last night?" Tamsin stood straight and announced. "Hi all, this is Stephen my husband." A few of the 'girlies' looked shocked. Sam jumped up and hugged us both and, in my ear, whispered 'sure?' I nodded. Mary looked like she was about to cry with happiness and kissed me on the cheek and then did the same to Tamsin.

All the 'girlies' then took turns in hugging her then me and congratulated us. Even some of the guys shook my hand apart from Kyle. He muttered a few rude comments until a guy, Marcus I think his name was, turned and told him to shut up. He promptly told Kyle that Tamsin was way out of his league which caused everyone to laugh. I went to Kyle and proffered my hand.

"Look Kyle this isn't about you or me it's about Tamsin. It's her decision. We've screwed up our marriage in the past but now we're going to make sure we don't screw it up anymore." He begrudgingly shook my hand and sat on the bench a little way from us all.

We had another two days on holiday before returning home and those two days Tamsin spent the nights in my room. No sex but lots of cuddling. Tamsin and the 'girlies' went home on an earlier flight, my flight was a couple of hours later. I got home to an empty house and when I got in I sat down and on the table was the envelope containing the divorce papers. I tore then in half and threw them back in the box. I was in the kitchen when I heard a noise in the hallway and I went to investigate. There was Tamsin with her suitcase.

"My washing machine is broken and I have no food at my flat, can I sponge off you for a few days?"

"Of course, but you'll have to earn your keep. I'll have a pizza so can you order it?" I laughed as we fell in to one anothers arms and kissed for only the second time in two years.

After we had eaten we sat on the sofa when Tamsin looked at me and said.

"Stephen, you can ask me anything about our time apart and I will answer every single question and be totally honest as I want us to have a clean slate from tonight."

"Are you sure?" She nodded. "Ok, first did you miss me?"

"Yes every day. Gin and Vodka made it easier some nights."

"What do you mean?"

"I started drinking heavily about three weeks after I left. I saw you in the shopping centre one day and you actually walked right past me. I went in to the nearest shop and bought a bottle of vodka and sat in sat in my room at Charles' place and drank about half of it. No mixers, no ice nothing just vodka. I went to work next day with the vodka in my bag and got caught drinking in the toilet and was fired. That's when I went a little off the rails. I was out every night partying and drinking and one night I got the tattoo on my ankle. A week later I got drunk again and added your name to it. Charles went nuts at me and that evening Sam arrived with the job offer. No interview nothing just a job offer. She and I gelled straight away and we started going out every night. Sam is a party animal as you know, she'd flirt with guys and get them buying us drinks and she'd end up going home with one sometimes. I would go along with some of it and one night I was at her place with her and a couple of guys when she went in to her bedroom with one. The other guy, Kevin I think, and I were on the sofa and we started kissing. He was a good kisser and he got me half naked. Well my top open and my skirt up around my waist and was trying to get me to have sex on the sofa." She stopped looking utterly sick.

"Go on Tamsin. It's ok."

"I want to have sex with him Stephen. I really did then your face popped in my head and I jumped up and ran out there." She was crying. "He managed to get his hand in my pants and almost got a finger in me when I freaked out Stephen."

"I take it you went home." She nodded.

"That was the first time." She said softly. "It would have been a one night stand. I dated five guys. Well dated may be an exaggeration. Three out of the five guys were no more than three dates. A bit of kissing and groping was all. One guy, Stephan, lasted a month. He was really nice and there was kissing and groping until one night. We were at his place when he managed to get me topless and was playing with my nipples. I was ready to take the plunge but as he lowered his head I freaked again and grabbed my clothes and ran in his bathroom and got dressed then barging past him I ran out."

"Sweetheart, while I am curious about what you got up to, you don't have to tell me if it upsets you."

"It's ok I want there to be nothing secret. The last guy .."

"Kyle?" I interrupted.

"No, Kyle was a kiss and almost a grope. Mike was the last guy and I almost fell in love with him. We dated for about three months. Dinners, lunches, picnics, cinemas and making out at my or his place. It was all going great. I had even moved your photo from my bedside table and off of my sideboard. I thought I moved on." She lowered her head before continuing, "I still loved you but I wanted to ... I don't know exorcise a demon? Prove I could actually have with someone else what we had."

"Tamsin, stop, this is getting to you. It's not worth the stress." I tried to console her.

"No Darling I have to. Mike told me one night he had fallen in love with me and wanted me to move in with him. I remember this like it was yesterday. I cooked him a meal and we were making out on the sofa. I excused myself and went and stripped in my bedroom and put on a silky nighty. I walked out and beckoned him to me. He walked over to be and began kissing me. We went in the bedroom and he got undressed. When he was naked his thingy looked about average and began to get hard. I thought I had done it I had broken the curse of our divorce. Then he went soft." She went silent for a while.