Love and Suction

My muscles tensed and my breath caught in my throat as I felt Vivienne's body go rigid in my arms. My right hand felt the effects first as her backside suddenly flattened against my fingertips, the softness of her skin giving way to the unmistakably rigid texture of plastic. I felt a sharp, angular edge start to dig into my wrist where it had wrapped around her back, so I repositioned my hand a bit. It suddenly touched a large circular object, and I realized that I was feeling the smooth, grooved plastic of a wheel... her wheel. I moved my hand upward and was relieved when I felt the familiar touch of skin once again, but soon enough it too was overtaken by the plastic. I continued to run my right hand up along her back, staying just ahead of the plastic's steady creep. My hand had reached her midsection when I felt something hard suddenly press into it; I couldn't tell exactly what it was, and I stopped kissing Viv for a second, filled with curiosity.

"Wha--?" I heard myself ask, the syllable sliding out of its own accord.

"Don't stop," Vivienne urged, and pressed her lips against mine again. The words were a gentle plea, and I dutifully obeyed as we kissed each other with a renewed sense of vigor. I groped around blindly for a moment until my hand finally found purchase on the object on her backside; it was a long and skinny tube that tapered as it went. Recognition flared in my mind as I realized that it was the wand attachment of a vacuum cleaner.

I continued to fondle her left breast with my hand before I took her stiff nipple between my fingers and gave it a playful little twist for good measure. Vivienne gasped and let out another moan at the unexpected sensation. I could feel her heart racing in her chest, and mine was pounding right alongside it, perfectly in sync... until the rhythmic drumming of hers sped up even more, soon outpacing even my thundering pulse. Faster and faster her heart pumped, until it was practically constant. The frenzied pounding of her pulse was setting off alarm bells left and right in my brain; it was physically impossible for human hearts to beat that fast - but then again, Vivienne wasn't exactly human. I gasped as the deafening drumroll of her beating heart ceased in one single, sickening second, leaving behind only my own to roar in my ears. My heartrate spiked as panic gripped me until Vivienne's voice reached my ears, her soothing tone and comforting words assuaging my fears in an instant: "It's okay, baby; I'm still with you."

I nodded, keeping my eyes shut tightly as my left hand, the one I was using to play with her breasts, finally felt the plastic that had already coated the lower parts of her body. The strangeness only intensified as the cleft of her cleavage disappeared, and her breasts coalesced into a single, solid mass of plastic. It seemed that Viv hadn't lost the breasts that I loved so much. I wasn't sure why a vacuum cleaner needed boobs, but hey - I wasn't about to complain. As my fingertips tentatively explored her chest, I was honestly relieved to find that she didn't seem to have any nipples -- this was already weird enough. Vivienne seemed to be enjoying herself immensely as I touched her; she let out a pleasurable moan, and my cock throbbed once again. It was a primal, Pavlovian response, and I had to admit that it wasn't an entirely unwelcome development. Still, I couldn't help but feel incredibly self-conscious at the fact that her big vacuum boobies were still doing it for me. I hoped that this whole experience wouldn't awaken anything in me, and yet I feared it already had.

It turns out, hugging a vacuum cleaner wasn't exactly comfortable; my right arm was starting to hurt, so I uncurled it from around her back. My hands found their way to her sides, where, instead of her arms, my fingers found the unmistakable, rough-yet-flexible texture of silicone rubber tubing. There was a huge mental disconnect between the sensations I was feeling with my fingers and the soft, familiar warmth of Vivienne's lips on mine. I tried my best to keep my focus squarely on the one part of her that was still human to keep me grounded through it all, even though it was clear that she was more vacuum cleaner than person at that point. My trembling fingertips delicately danced upward along the tubing that ran up her body. Another moan escaped from Vivienne's lips, and I felt heat blaze in my cheeks as my dick once again responded to the sound, only serving to confirm my fears that, yes, this whole thing had definitely awakened something in me. I was actually getting turned on by a goddamn vacuum cleaner. I didn't think that was a very pleasant surprise, but my boner clearly hadn't gotten the memo.

"Almost there," she said breathlessly, her voice sounding a bit hoarse. I took Vivienne's face in my hands and redoubled my efforts in kissing her. My heart was a jackhammer in my chest, my dick was aching with need, and I was desperate for release.

But it never came.

The haze of chemicals coursing through my brain released their grip on me as I realized that I couldn't feel her mouth anymore, and whatever residual arousal I had left withered away as I became acutely aware of the feeling of hard plastic scraping against my tongue. I snapped my eyes open to find my lips pressed squarely against the handle of a vacuum cleaner with my hands wrapped around the back of it. I didn't know whether to disappointed or relieved that I didn't finish. I finally landed on relief, because even if it was Vivienne, the thought of getting off to a literal vacuum cleaner was a personal line I didn't really want to cross. The night had been weird enough already, and unfortunately it was about to get even weirder. I nearly jumped out of my skin as Vivienne's voice emanated from... somewhere... in the room: "Having fun, babe?"

"What the fuck?! You can talk?" I asked, scrambling back from Vivienne and finally getting a good look at her. She didn't look like any vacuum I had ever seen. The plastic shell that encased her body was a cream-colored tan shade, the same color as her skin. On her chest sat a giant set of plastic tits that I tried my best to avoid looking at. The lower portion of her body was transparent, and it must have been a reservoir for all of the stuff she picked up while cleaning. It looked to be about three-quarters full of dust, dirt, and God knows what else; that must have been the remains of the cleaning job she had done at her parents' place. She didn't seem to have any power cord that I could see, and instead of a single, long hose wrapping around her shoulders like I would have expected, she had two of them that started where her shoulders would have been. They ran down along her sides, almost like they were her arms, and were tucked into little holsters on her sides; it sort of looked like she had her hands stuffed into her pockets. She also had a suite of attachments tucked into handy little compartments along her backside: a crevice tool for cleaning in tight spaces, a dusting brush, a little tool for sucking up pet hair, and, of course, the wand attachment I had felt earlier.

"Uh, yeah," Vivienne's disembodied voice answered, matter-of-factly. "Why wouldn't I be able to?"

"Do you even have a mouth?" I asked, through narrowed eyes.

"Noah, I just transformed into a vacuum cleaner," she said. "Is the fact that I can talk really all that surprising?" The question was laden with such smug satisfaction, even without a mouth I could practically see her smirking as she asked it. I had to admit, she had a point; the rules of reality as I knew them had clearly been thrown out the window. Next, as if to drive the final nail into the coffin containing my brutally murdered notion of normalcy, Vivienne confidently wheeled herself across the carpet and effortlessly zipped a tight circle around me, because of course she could.

"You... have a point," I said, as I took in the sight of Vivienne enthusiastically gliding across the apartment floor as she hummed the song that she was singing in the shower earlier. I couldn't help but smile at the sheer absurdity of it all. "You know, Viv, I'll be honest; this is definitely not how I expected this night to go." She skidded to a stop and turned to face me.

"What, you didn't have 'magical sentient vacuum cleaner' on your date night bingo card?" she mused, chuckling at her own joke.

"I did not," I grumbled, shaking my head as I glared in her general direction. "I didn't count on getting blue balls from said vacuum cleaner, either." Vivienne's laughter bounced around the room, and heat blazed in my cheeks at the admission.

"Wait, are you serious, Noah? You mean you actually almost-?" She couldn't finish the sentence before her laughter started filling the room again. My glare hardened as I patiently waited for her to calm down. "Oh my Goooooood. What is it about me that turns you on so much? Is it my extendable hoses?" Suddenly, she pulled them out of their holsters and stretched them out a couple of feet before wrapping them around herself a couple times. She then quickly uncoiled them from around herself and shrank them back down to their normal length before tucking them neatly away. "My big, sexy wheels?" For her next trick, she somehow managed to spin around on one of her wheels in her best impression of a pirouette. She was very clearly enjoying herself, and I had to admit, it was cute as fuck, at the very least "Or..." She stretched the word out as she rolled right up to me. She leaned in as close as she could, positioning her arm hoses above and below her chest to show off her tits. I heard her voice materialize right next to my ear, and though I couldn't feel her breath, the words still sent a shiver down my spine, for deep within my heart of hearts I knew they contained the truth: "Was it my glossy plastic gazongas?" My cheeks immediately turned crimson at the mere mention of her gazongas, as memories of Vivienne's 'surprise' from earlier danced through my mind, unbidden... and then... yeah. I got hard, dammit. Fucking sue me. "I knew it!" Vivienne's voice was positively triumphant, and her unbridled glee was infectious. I let out an indignant huff of air and rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile. I was quiet as I just sat there, red-faced, stiff-cocked, and basking in the bizarre, beautiful insanity of the moment.

"You doing okay over there, babe?" she asked.

"Yes, Viv. I'm fine" I said, grinning at her, as I remembered that we actually had a job to do. "We should probably get to cleaning this place up."

"Sounds good to me," she said. "This is going to be fun - oooh, we can do it together!" I shrugged.

"Sure, I guess, if you want to. I'm going to get dressed first, though. I don't really want to vacuum the apartment naked." I got up and quickly threw my clothes on before returning to her. "So... how does the whole vacuuming thing work with you, anyway?"

"Exactly like you'd expect a vacuum to work," she said, matter-of-factly. "I just kinda go around and suck stuff up."

"Fair enough," I said. "I don't see a power cord. You don't need to be, uh... plugged in, or anything?"

"Nope. I don't run on electricity, thank God. Can you imagine the electric bill?" Viv said, with a chuckle. "We just ate, so I'm all good to go." I smiled, despite myself. Of course, she didn't run on electricity. "Now, Noah... I have another very important question for you." Her voice was hushed and serious, and I nodded, not quite sure what to expect. "Do you want to turn me on?" I audibly groaned at the blatant double entendre.

"Jesus Christ, Viv," I said, unable to keep myself from grinning even as I rolled my eyes at her. I frowned a bit as I looked her over. "What do I do? Is there, like... a button, or something, somewhere?" I bent down and studied her body for a moment, looking for one, but nothing stuck out to me. Vivienne chuckled, clearly enjoying my confusion.

"You can't find my button?" she asked, a hint of laughter still tinkling behind the words. "The button that turns me on?"

"Very funny," I said, rolling my eyes. "Where is it?"

A second later, a gentle electric whirring noise came from somewhere within Vivienne's chest as she roared to life.

"Wait, you could do have done that at any point?" I asked, glaring at her. "Is there even a button?"

"Nope. I was just messing with you," Viv said. "Sorry, babe. I couldn't resist."

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically, as I rolled my eyes at her. I realized that I could still hear myself think over the sound of her motor running. "Oh, wow. You're... quieter than I expected," I said.

"Well, I'm not some run-of-the-mill Roomba, babe," she said, with a scoff. "I'm a very advanced vacuum with all kinds of nifty features!"

"Oh, yeah? Like what?"

"Well, besides my sparkling personality, I've got my extendable hoses, of course - made with my proprietary Flextension technology." she said. "There's also my handy-dandy dust bin, with an industry-leading storage capacity of 6.9 liters!" Nice.

"Are you just making this shit up as you go along?" I asked, flatly.

"Nah, it's in my user manual," she said, without skipping a beat.

"You have a fucking manual?!" I asked. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Yup!"

"How the hell does that work?"

"It's all up here," Viv said, pointing her arm hose up toward her handle. "Er... you know, in my head... wink." I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm gonna let that one slide because you literally don't have a head right now, but do you seriously have a manual, or are you just fucking with me? I legitimately cannot tell." Instead of answering me, Viv just threw her arm hoses up over her shoulders in what I could only assume was her best approximation of a shrug. I let out a long, drawn-out sigh and shook my head as I flashed her an amused grin. "Let's just get to work."

"Alright, fine," she said, with a chuckle. Without further ado, I wrapped my hand around her handle, and I heard a gasp sound in the room as she lurched forward a bit. I felt my body tense up and my stomach drop.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my voice spiked with panic. "I'm sorry!" Now that I thought about it, her handle was her head...I think? I recalled that I had ended up kissing her handle instead of her head when she shifted earlier.

"Y-yeah," she said, the words shaky. "I'm fine, Noah."

"Did I... hurt you?"

"It didn't really hurt, it just kind of surprised me," she said. "I've never had someone else...erm, take the reins." My face reddened at that. Thinking about it, I wasn't so sure how I felt about the fact that I would be... taking the reins, so to speak... but if Viv wanted to do this thing together, I figured I'd give it a shot.

"Gotcha. Sorry. I should have asked you first." I said, sweeping a nervous hand through my hair. I had a lot to learn about this stuff.

"It's okay, babe," she said, warmly. "Let's try that again. I'm... ready whenever you are." I hesitated for just a moment, but as I wrapped my hand around Viv's handle, she was prepared for it this time. I tentatively pushed her forward and I heard the telltale crackle of debris being sucked up into Vivienne's dust bin... but then another, familiar noise reached my ears, one that made my cock twitch in my jeans: Vivienne actually moaned as she sucked up the dust. It suddenly made a lot more sense as to why she liked vacuuming so much. My face was on fire as I stopped pushing her along, caught off guard by the unexpected sound.

"S-sorry," Viv said, clearly embarrassed. "It, uh... feels good."

"Clearly," I said, with a smirk. I kept gently pushing her along, and we continued to work on the living room floor for a bit. I was relieved to find that Viv wasn't enjoying herself too much. Occasionally, we'd go over a bit of dust and a little moan would escape involuntarily, but it wasn't like it was a constant thing; I don't think I would have been able to handle it if that were the case. Still, I couldn't help thinking about what she had said earlier. I suddenly stopped pushing her and hesitantly pulled my hand away. "Um, I'm feeling a little weird about this whole thing, Viv."

"It's the moaning, isn't it? I'm sorry. I can't really help it, babe." Viv said, clearly embarrassed.

"It's not that, Viv," I said. "It's more like... I'm not quite comfortable with, uh... taking the reins from you. I want to help out, but... I don't know about this It feels a bit... wrong?"

"I really don't mind, Noah, but if you're not comfortable with it, you don't have to do it."

"I'm sorry. I know you wanted to do this together." Viv was quiet for a second for a second, thinking.

"How about this? I'll handle the rest of the floors, if you want to clear the table and take care of the dishes from dinner?"

"Wait, you want to clean the entire apartment?" I asked, my voice incredulous. "There aren't that many dishes to do, Viv." She just chuckled at that.

"I think you'll be surprised. I'm pretty quick on my feet, after all," she said. As if to prove her point, she surged forward, rolling over a long swath of carpet in a matter of seconds. My cheeks blazed at the intense, sultry moan that reached my ears as she went.

"What feet?" I asked, with a cheeky grin.

"Fine. I'm wheelie fast on my wheels. Get to work, babe. I'll even give you a head start." The gentle electric whirring of Viv's motor ceased, and she rolled herself back over to me. I rolled my eyes - she was wheelie outdoing herself with the puns tonight.

"Alright, then," I said, grinning as I walked over to the cabinet and grabbed some tupperware containers for the leftovers. I thought about what she had said earlier, when she was first talking about the fact that she was a shifter. "So, you said this shifter thing is genetic?"

"Yup. On my mom's side. Dad's human."

"So, what? Your mom has the... vacuum gene?" I asked, chuckling at the absurdity of the idea - but then again, I was currently talking to a vacuum cleaner. Suddenly, a realization dawned on me: "Wait, is that why your last name is Hoover - because you guys are vacuum cleaners?!" I felt like I had cracked the code, and I was feeling very proud of myself.

"Pffft. No, babe," she said. "That's literally just a coincidence. Mom has the appliance gene. I'm the only vacuum cleaner in the family."

"Wait, then what is everyone else?" I asked. I set the tupperware containers on the table and started putting away the leftovers. I got to work on the mashed potatoes first.

"Well, Mom's a refrigerator," Viv said. "She naturally runs pretty cold. That's why my parents have to keep the house warm." I nodded, waiting for her to continue as I spooned the leftover gravy into a container. "Zach's a stove; sometimes he can be a bit... hot-headed." Viv's disembodied chuckle drifted through the room after the pun, but I just groaned.

"And that just leaves... Kay," I said, as I snapped the tupperware container with the gravy shut.

"She's a coffee maker," Viv said.

"Well, that explains her... energetic nature," I said, matter-of-factly, as I got to work putting the roast away.

"Yup. She can't really help it; it's all the caffeine." I shook my head in disbelief, and I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for thinking she was annoying - but how was I supposed to know she literally had caffeine running through her veins?

"I'm... glad I know now, at least," I said. "Have you ever tried her coffee?" I had to admit, I was curious.

"Just once... on accident, funnily enough. It was admittedly one of the best cups of coffee I've ever had, but, uh... yeah, I don't know. I can't get over the fact that it's... organic," she said, and I could practically hear the shiver in her voice. I finished packing up the leftovers and walked over to the fridge with the containers clutched in my arms. I shivered as a rush of cold air hit me as soon as I opened the refrigerator door. A vision of Viv's mom sitting in their recliner, all bundled up in blankets as she read a book, came to my mind. I grinned at the mental image as I put the leftovers away and shut the fridge door. It all made so much sense. I walked over to the sink and got the water running for the dishes as I heard the whirring of Viv's motor in the room, just before her voice reached me: "Anyway, I think I'm going to get going on the floors now."