All Comments on 'Love and Vitamins'

As title

Your 'story' lacked substance, a few things to consider:

1. Character development, the characters need substance, the reader needs to feel for the characters.

2. Plot, there is very little story telling here, even the pizza delivery porn has story telling even if it's just a woman wanting a nice meaty pizza.

3. Believability, a good story needs to be believable, if it is beyond belief, or strains the imagination without good explanation then it falls apart and is just words on a page.

Overall you have fashioned two pages of words that do not add up to a story. You need to revise this and work on the above elements. Aim for believability, paint a picture for the reader, make them feel what you are trying to show them.

The potential is there, for sure, but you certainly need work. Keep trying. Don't stop trying to get better.

I vehemently disagree with the two previous comments, this is a fantastic tale in the genre it's aimed at. I've put both the author and this story straight into my 'favourites' folder, and given it a 5 Star rating.

Thanks for posting this story. I love the way you describe everything and your stories have some of my favorite imagery. But I agree with the other posters that if you spent a little more time developing the characters and gave the story some time to breathe and maybe some conflict it might have been better. Please keep writing!

All mothers and sons should experience such uninhabited sex.Reminds me of my mother and myself except we teased for three years before we made love.