Love Grows Pt. 04 - Ben's Views

I am Ben and my second wife is called Niki. Unfortunately my first wife died unexpectedly. Niki's previous husband, Stuart, divorced her because she committed adultery with me. We have an unusual "open marriage" lifestyle.

Niki had fancied me for many years and I fancied her. But it was only after I was widowed, and went through a long period of mourning, that I gave myself to her and she gave her body for my use.

Adultery

Niki and my first adulterous act took place in the bed that Stuart and Niki slept in. In the morning Stuart made love to Niki. In the afternoon, unplanned by neither Niki or I, she was giving me the most rampant sex I had ever had. It came, if that is the right word, only second to the first time I had sex with my first wife.

After I came back down to earth after an intense and exhausting orgasm, Niki and I lay in Stuart's bed and discussed sex.

Niki's fantasy was to please me, which included helping to bring about my sexual fantasies, and to get as much sex as she could. Stuart lacked Niki's sexual appetite. Apparently couples have sex twice a week. So, quantity wise, we had an average sex life. But Niki wanted an above average amount of sex.

She wanted, and needed, to be fucked much more. She also needed more sexual variety. Stuart was into missionary position sex with only an occasional variation. That didn't satisfy Niki. Apparently most women fake orgasms and Niki was no exception. This may have hindered Stuart meeting her sexual needs.

So for Niki discussing sexual matters was liberating. Too late did Niki discover that Stuart could have tolerated a threesome. Perhaps, had Stuart and Niki talked at a profound level, Stuart, Niki and I could have just lived in a "menage a trois".

Regrets, I Have A Few

But, for reasons I do not understand, Niki harboured a profound hatred for her first husband. I admit I got carried away. There is no easy way for a wife to tell her husband that she prefers another man. I thought the best approach was to be brutually honest. Stuart should bear no false hope that Niki was "just having a fling".

Therefore Niki's brutal announcement that "Ben and I are lovers and he has taken over your marital bed" would be best for all concerned. Except Stuart didn't just leave and therefore Niki had the idea of making Stuart watch a "wedding" between Niki and I. This was to make Stuart see that Niki was sexually liberated.

But things got out of hand. We did things that should not have happened. Things too shameful for Niki and I to talk about.

Niki promised me the freedom to pursue my long term desire, to have what Shakespeare called "the beast with 2 backs" with Bessy, the black skinned wife of my black friend, Richard. And to watch my friend's black cock service my wife. I want my wife to be taken "fast and furious". I want to have "tantric sex" with Bessie. I want our erotic session to last for a couple of hours. Tantric sex means, for me, the perfect kind of loving sex.

I practice delaying orgasm in preparation for sex with Bessie. It is not Niki's favoured kind of sex. But she likes many kinds of sex and doesn't really have a favourite. She's like the soup maker - has 57 varieties on offer.

Am I Echoing Shakespeare's Inter Racial Desire?

Marie and I shared a lot of interests. We liked classical music and went to plays. Our favourite was William Shakespeare. Niki and I have few shared interests beyond sex.

Incidentally the Bard may also have lusted over a black skinned woman.

As Wiki informs us, the leading Shakespeare expert of his day "G. B. Harrison, notes that a Clerkenwell brothel-owner known as "Black Luce" had participated in the 1601--1602 Christmas revels at Gray's Inn (under the Latinized stage-name "Lucy Negro") and that she could there have encountered Shakespeare, as this was the occasion of the first performance of Twelfth Night. Harrison "tentatively" proposes Black Luce as the Dark Lady.

Duncan Salkeld, a Shakespearean scholar from the University of Chichester, while acknowledging that "[t]he records do not link her directly with Shakespeare", established that Luce had multiple connections to London's theatrical scene."

I hope that Harrison is correct. I gain comfort that Shakespeare may have had the same love for "Black Luce" as I do for Bessy. I loved Bessy even when I was happily married to my first wife. Shakespeare loved Luce even though he was happily married to Anne Hathaway.

But of course multi-cultural love is normal nowadays. Shakespeare made his contribution to what we now call the Black Lives Matter movement. Sonnet 127 opens with

"In the old age black was not counted fair,

Or if it were, it bore not beauty's name;

But now is black beauty's successive heir,

And beauty slander'd with a bastard shame"

Love The Person Not The Skin Colour

Shakespeare was able to love Black Luce despite her imperfections

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound;

I grant I never saw a goddess go;

My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare

As any she belied with false compare.

I am sure that I won't say to Bessy "your breath reeks, I prefer listening to music than you". I would not use Sonnet 148 to "chat up" Bessy.

Was Marlowe "Besting" Shakespeare In Luce's Bed?

I know it is an idle fancy but perhaps Black Luce had preferred Marlowe's mighty verse and lusty "swordsmanship".

Could Black Luce's head have been swayed by something like Marlowe's

"And we will sit upon the Rocks,

Seeing the Shepherds feed their flocks,

By shallow Rivers to whose falls

Melodious birds sing Madrigals."

That is proper chat up line material. it is poetic tosh, since birds don't sing Madrigals, but it would make Black Luce think Marlowe loved her. Hence, possibly, Black Luce had told Shakepeare "Marlowe's soft words proves he loves me more than you do."

Shakespeare in return writes "false compare" much as we say "fake news" nowadays.

And this Marlowe tosh motivated Shakespeare to say "despite what Marlowe has you believe, I love you as a person, whose skin colour is incidental".

Was Shakespeare More Radical Than MLK?

Perhaps Shakespeare went beyond Martin Luther King's dictum about "the content of the character" being more important than skin colour. If Black Luce is the Dark Lady then he loved a black woman bot because she was dark skinned but as a man should love. He "loved the person, not the colour nor the character".

My love for Bessy is akin to Marlowe's. Bessy's skin colour is the major factor for me. While Niki is getting sexually excited thinking of black skinned Richard. My first wife refused to have a wife swap arrangement. And, because I loved my first wife, I never had an affair.

In total contrast, Niki is totally okay with being taken by a black man, Mind you, she wants a white man, or a Chinese man or well, you get the picture. For preference, Niki wants a man with a really big cock. Which led me down the rabbit hole of examining the question "Do black men have big cocks?"

Well, Do Black Men Have Big Cocks?

From my sample of men on nudist beaches, I would say the monster cocks are less than 0.01 per cent of the male population. This is about the same percentage as men with micropenises.

Though he is black, Richard isn't hung any larger than me. Forget the stereotype. I have seen quite a few naked black men on nudist beaches. And, in my experience, the black men have the same range of penis sizes as we white men. I have seen both black and white men with above average sized cocks.

I am not bisexual but I love watching well endowed men at nudist beaches. I love to see them walk and make their schlongs move back and forth. Even though I am averagely endowed, I like watching my cock in the mirror.

I also enjoy watching well endowed women. I have a few "slow motion" videos of naked people walking saved as "Favourites".

The Honest Truth

To be brutally honest I would prefer to have Marie rather than Bessie, and Bessie rather than Niki. I often wake up and think of Marie. There was an honesty in my first marriage that is missing in my second. My soul still yearns for Marie. I still grieve for my first and greatest love.

When I don't need to go to work I lay in bed and think about the good times we had. I compare Niki and Marie in everything. Even small things like the way that the washing up is done. Marie expected me to keep the kitchen clean. I had to wipe the dishes. Niki leaves them in the drainer. The kitchen is a mess. Once a month Niki and I blitz the kitchen.

When I see the messy kitchen, I miss Niki. I want to have a clean kitchen but don't have the time or energy to do anything about it. I miss Marie's clean kitchen and my role in satisfying her in this simple act.

Am I Good For My New Wife?

Stuart and Niki avoided talking about "the grubby side of life". I am convinced that this was a bad thing for them both.

Stuart and Niki never watched porn together. They both watched porn, but never together. It was a private matter, even to their sleeping partner. Niki doesn't even know what type of porn Stuart watched. It is still his secret. Niki loved watching videos of men with big cocks.

Marie and I watched porn together. It was a great marital aid. It gave us ideas. Some of these ideas were strange. The "action videos" show people copulating on cliffs and riding each other while riding on a motorbike. Such videos are interesting but unlikely to be tried at home.

It has to be admitted that most houses don't have cliffs. But, I suppose, the truly adventurous may be able to construct a climbing wall and put it to sexual use. And someone with a country estate could adopt motorcycle sex.

Marie and I shared a nudist lifestyle. That is how we got to know Richard and Bessie. Marie and I shared a love of watching interracial sex on porn sites. It was often a prelude to sex.

Tan Lines and Tattoos

Marie and I were naturists and had all over tans. I noticed, when I first saw Niki naked, the white skin where the sun never reached.

I much prefer women, and men, with all over tans. Marie had a tan-line free body. My body is tan-line free. Niki has lost those areas of whiteness as she is now a naturist.

I know that there are people who like "tan line" videos. we, along with videos of people with tattoos, are a "turn off" for me. Niki has promised never to have a tattoo.

Niki Is Not Houseproud

I go downstairs to the dirty kitchen and notice the stains inside my favourite mug. I can't even be bothered to clean my mug. I briefly considered blitzing the kitchen, but I know I won't.

Imagination Is Funny - It Makes A Rainy Day Sunny

I miss the garden I once owned, and helping my neighbours with their gardens. I recall the sensation of helping Stuart and Niki with their Alpine garden. I visualise the way Niki and I went from their garden to Richard's bed.

The memory of going from the garden to Niki's bed gives me a partial erection. I imagine Niki and Marie naked in Stuart's garden. Niki lies down on the path beside the Alpine garden.

My cock points straight up. I am almost at the orgasm stage even without the aid of my hands.

Niki opens her legs. Marie and I look at her lovely hair covered vagina.

Marie tells me that it is exciting watching me make love to Niki. My first wife starts to play with her nipples. I see my first wife as my cock enters into my second wife's pussy.

My fingers grip my cock and move up and down. I continue my fantasy.

I see Marie's pussy and tits and Niki's breasts bounce towards her face and back towards my cock. I look down and see part of my cock inside Niki. Marie is now giving herself a clitoral orgasm. Both Marie and Niki orgasm as I shoot my load into Niki.

A few seconds later I actually had an orgasm. I play with the semen and taste my own ejaculate. There is a thread of semen between my thumb and forefinger. I move my finger away to see how far I can go before the thread breaks. It doesn't break so I suck both appendages to make them semen free.

Sex With Women Is Okay But I Prefer The Real Thing

Post orgasm, my mind went back to the first days I was employed at Pearson Stewart. I was 18 years old, and hadn't yet met Marie. I was a virgin and knew little of life's rich tapestry.

You have to understand that in those days male homosexuality was illegal. It is just a historical quirk that lesbianism was legal. Apparently Queen Victoria didn't think that a woman would want sex with another woman. Hence the law was unnecessary. But men would be heavily fined, would lose their jobs and might even be imprisoned for wanting "soliciting for buggery".

If actually caught in a sexual act they would face a time in jail with hard labour. Homosexual men would face a lifetime of social isolation.

The Quote

Both women and men sat in the staffroom when an "old" man of nearly 30 was in the throes of a messy divorce said "Sex with women is okay but personally I prefer the real thing".

Some people laughed but I didn't get the joke. I said "Why is that funny?"

One man said "It can mean anything. It may mean just having your own company or it may mean wanking."

Another man said, "It may mean preferring the company of other men."

Edna said "That's disgusting. Homosexuals would put us women out of business."

To which another lady said "Edna I didn't realise you were in THAT sort of business."

Everyone except Edna laughed.

A Sad Ending

The man who said ""It may mean preferring the company of other men" was bisexual. Unknown to us he had a torrid time fancying other men while having a wife and child. He spent time hanging around gent's loos in the hope of finding a man for a blowjob or a handjob.

He was caught in a sting operation trying to chat up an undercover policeman. He was arrested for soliciting and public lewdness. The knowledge of the forthcoming public humiliation that awaited him was too much. He killed himself before the police could bring charges.

It was a tragic waste of his life.

Interracial Sex

Marie and I both liked the aesthetic idea of interracial sex. We both liked the contrast of black and white skin. This contrast was beautiful, sensual and, even better, we both found it sexually arousing. It was as I said before often the prelude to sex.

On our bedroom wall Marie and I had a professionally produced studio portrait. It shows a pregnant, hairy bushed, white naked lady smiling as a black, naked man stands behind her. The black man has a large, but not excessively large, penis.

He is also smiling as if to say "I made my woman pregnant". The woman's smile seems to say "And there was much sport at the child's making".

The portrait is truly a work of art. It is copy number 7 of a limited edition of 50 and is signed by the photographer. Despite its artistic quality, the debt enforcement officials only valued it at £100. Marie and I paid £500 for it.

Stuart Showed Some Sympathy

The portrait is one of the few possessions that Stuart allowed me to keep.

I admit that Niki and I went a bit overboard on my "cuckold dominance" of Stuart. I got carried away with a sense of power. We say that "all power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely". This was true and having absolute power corrupted me absolutely. I regret the incidents that led to Stuart suing me for damages.

In my defence, it was a steep part of my learning curve. I have never had such power before and Niki egged me on. I can understand her wanting to stray. I don't accept that any married, or long term partner relationship, man or woman has never considered "doing the dirty deed" with someone else.

In settling the legal claim for damages, I pleaded with Stuart to let me keep the photo. Stuart realised that it had significant sentimental value to me. He didn't want his revenge to extend to pettiness.

He had me over a barrel as I needed to sell everything to meet the damages I owed him. He could have said "Well you have made your own bed, now lie on it". He would have been justified to have made me sell the photo.

If I had been Stuart, I would have been really vindictive. I would have said "Knock £100 off the amount of damages and I will take the photo."

I would have then burnt the photo to spite the man who had taken away my wife.

Much as I loved the memories the photo gave me, I couldn't afford the lawyers fees over a mere photograph. Stuart knew that I still savoured the memories of my deceased wife. He honoured Marie's memory. After all she had been a good neighbour.

Stuart hoped to live by the credo "Do unto others as you wish to be done to". Letting me keep something that Marie and I shared made him feel good. For £100 he could think of himself as a moral upright citizen.

Such intangibles as self-worth play an important part in life. Self-worth and morality are a central part of my life. I hope that any of my future actions are moral.

Something Changed

In the course of the discussions over the picture something about me changed. I was grateful for the peace that Stuart's piece of humanity gave me. I apologised to him for my behaviour.

It wasn't a ploy. I genuinely realised that I had been evil.

Stuart and I instructed our respective solicitors to settle the matter as soon as possible.

But don't think of Stuart as some sort of saint. He got my house and most of my and Niki's assets. Technically Niki and I were homeless. Stuart allowed us to live in what was my house but was now legally his. But technically he could have served us notice to quit.

Niki and I decided to move away.

The Wages Of Sexual Sinning

So Niki and I now have to pay rent to live in a less fashionable part of London. I only have a 2 bedroom flat instead of the 3 bed semi I lived in and owned.

Lawsuits can be brutal and Stuart set new limits in fiscal brutality, with the exception of the interracial photo.

Luckily Niki and I both work and so we can afford the astronomical rent. But it is a big huge climb down from the more centrally placed house Niki once shared with Richard and the house I once owned.

Our financial position will improve when, and if, I get a promotion. I am hoping that this will come next year. Niki is stuck in a dead end job, which she hates. Moving away means extra travel and inconvenience for her. But, in these uncertain times, giving up a job is potentially dangerous.

My Wife Swapping Suggestion

As I said previously, I wanted to watch Marie being fucked by other men. While this was a big No No, she was more open to being fucked by our black friend, Richard.

Marie was also sexually excited by the aesthetic of my white cock entering Bessy's blackness. So there was always the possibility of a wife swap, especially since Richard and Bessy had tried it twice already.

If only Marie would agree, there would be no problem arranging an exchange of partners. Even better, there wouldn't be any emotional backlash. I knew, as only husbands can, that I would not be jealous if Richard gave Marie orgasm after orgasm. I knew that Marie would not leave me for Richard.

It may not satisfy a philosopher for my reasoning about how I knew. I knew that Marie would stay loyal because I wouldn't leave Marie for Bessy. Syllogisms don't help explain emotions, and anyway philosophy has never got to the root of humanity.

And if Marie became jealous, I would stop fucking Bessie.

My Love For Bessie

I really, really, wanted to fuck Richard's wife. Of all the women I knew, and that included Niki and even my wife, Bessy was the woman I most wanted to fuck. Richard knew that Bessy wanted to bed me.