Love of Autism Ch. 14

Around 11am he heard the doorbell ring and immediately went to answer it. He opened the door to see Katie, but she didn't look all that excited or happy to see him. "Hey, is everything ok?" he asked concerned.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure," he said as he guided her into the family room. They sat down on the couch a few seconds later. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

Katie shook her head. "No." She took a deep breath before working up the courage to say what she came to his house to say. "Scott, I'm sorry but I think we need to see other people."

Scott's throat immediately dried up and shock overtook him. He had been fearing the worst during the week but had convinced himself he was just overreacting. There was no way Katie would just decide to break up with him. He was just playing the worst case scenarios in his head that never ever came true, yet it had come true. Katie was breaking up with him.

"Wha...why?"

"I've just been doing some thinking," she began, looking down at the floor, not able to look at him, "and I don't think we really could handle each other in the long run or be a good fit."

"But...where is this coming from? Why are you..." Scott didn't get to finish asking his question as Katie got up and ran out of the house.

Scott sat there for a few minutes still unable to process what had just happened until everything came crashing down. He started to cry harder than he had cried before, even harder than when he found out his grandma had passed away. However, the tears of sadness he felt only lasted a minute as rage overtook him as he let out a blood curdling scream. His parents were outside in the backyard doing yard work and didn't hear his scream, but Sarah was inside her room and heard the scream.

Slowly Sarah came out of her room and approached the family room only to see a look on Scott's face that scared her. He looked angry, ready to explode if something wrong was said to him. "Shaka when the walls fell?" she asked him quietly, still scared that he might snap.

Scott turned to look at her, eyes still full of anger. "Shaka when the walls fell."

Sarah didn't wait for Scott to finish saying the code phrase that he was ready to explode before running to the back of the house and into the backyard. She ran to her mom first as her father was mowing the lawn. Jackie was confused as to why Sarah looked so scared until her daughter told her the code phrase, 'Shaka when the walls fell.'

Jackie immediately ran to her husband and signaled for him to turn off the mower. When he did she repeated the phrase to him. "You and Sarah call Melissa and Stacy and have Luke, Andy and Steve come over immediately. Then take Sarah over to Melissa's." Jackie nodded as she rushed inside to get her phone.

Keith ran inside as well and grabbed the key to the room. Once he got the key, he rushed to the basement to see Scott waiting outside it. The death stare Scott had told Keith everything. He was angry and was barely able to control it.

He unlocked the door and opened it. No sooner than the door opened Scott ran in and started to hit the punching bag as hard as he could. He didn't wait to put gloves on nor did he want to. He wanted the bag to suffer, he wanted Katie to suffer. He proceeded to punch and kick the bag as hard as he could, not caring at all if he hurt himself. Rage had consumed him and no one was going to stop him. Nothing would stop him from unleashing all his anger, his pain, his sadness, every negative emotion he was feeling onto the punching bag.

Before long Luke, Andy and Steve arrived and sat back with Keith as they watched Scott just continue to punch, elbow, kick, and knee the punching bag.

After an hour of constant abuse against the punching bag, Scott finally collapsed onto the floor. Everyone stayed away from Scott for a few more minutes before approaching him with Steve taking the lead. As he came to Scott and looked at his face he could see tears coming down, but what had him worried was the look on Scott's face. A look that told him Scott was ready to give up on life.

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Katie laid on her bed crying into her pillow. She had been crying ever since she got home, hating herself for what she had done, and hating herself for making the worst decision of her life.

As soon as she told Scott that she wanted to break up with him, she wanted to take it back. She wanted to tell him the truth, but she couldn't. For whatever reason, she just couldn't convince herself to tell Scott the damn truth.

Jillian walked into her daughter's room, worried about her well-being. "What happened Katie?"

"I broke up with the man who didn't deserve it."

Jillian sat on Katie's bed next to her with Katie's back facing her. "I'm sorry Katie."

"I hate myself Mom. I hate what I've done. I hate..." Kate couldn't finish that last sentence. Just thinking about it made her want to die even more.

"Katie...I know what you're going through. I never told you but..."

"Leave me alone Mom," Katie said crying.

"Katie please, I'm trying..."

Katie gripped her pillow and swung it at her mom. "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" she screamed.

Jillian barely had enough time to block the pillow with her hands. She stood up not wanting to leave, but also knowing that right now there was nothing she could say or do to make Katie feel better. "I'll leave you alone, but I'm here for you Katie. You are not alone." With that Jillian exited Katie's room and closed the door.

Katie continued to cry as she wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I fucking hate myself," she said as she closed her eyes and cried even harder.