All Comments on 'Love Thy Neighbor Ch. 01'

Jim 'researching' his novel. and his fiction becoming entwined with reality is a nice idea. Overall, a good beginning.

However, you, as writer, need to get away from cliches to move the plot. Specifically, Peter is described as forward and pushy, basically, first impressions are not so good.

Jim and Lily come across as intelligent people who determine their own lives. If so, they why oh why do you come up with such a flimsy excuse as "But it is bad manners to ignore him, don't you know,".

Fuck the 'bad manners'. Smart people ignore assholes. The pushy assholes are the ones who have bad manners. Why pander to them? The point is that it is a poor plot device to have the protagonists work on the basis of such a flimsy excuse to get them into the situation.

So, what do you do? If Peter's character is central to something later in the plot, then try to come up with a better way for Jim and Lily to get entangled. Drop the 'it's not polite' thing. Have them pay a visit 'a few days later'. From the writing point of view it isn't technically difficult to do, and it won't create such a big inconsistency in behavior between a pushy asshole and an intelligent couple.