Love Yourself

"This is your fault," June said, "You started this all." April didn't feel threatened. She giggled and whooped with excitement as June pulled her by the makeshift leash and bent her over the table.

This version of June, April, had come from a picture she and Sarah had taken of her. A polaroid June had Sarah take before June went on a business trip. It must have been about four years ago now.

It was right before everything started going downhill.

April spit out the panties, as they had been there voluntarily. "What're you gonna do to me?" She asked in an excited voice.

But June knew. She raised her hand and sent it down with a fury.

Smack.

"Ah!" April let out, "Thank you."

Thank me? June thought, This isn't supposed to be fun. You ruined everything!

Again June spanked her, and again April thanked her. Again and again. June eventually needed to stop, her hand hurting, and touched between April's legs. April shuddered as June did and June felt her own sex on the younger woman's body. Wet. Very wet. It was so strange to feel her own pussy, something she knew the feel of so well, but from an outsider's angle.

"Stop enjoying this!" June told April, but April giggled and moaned as June's fingers entered her. "Fuck you!" June yelled. And in that moment something appeared on the table. A toy. A toy she recognized. Navy blue straps with a purple toy attached. The strap-on was Sarah's and at around this time in their lives Sarah had introduced it, wanting to use it on June, but having no interest in it being used on her. June had complied and mostly enjoyed it, though she enjoyed their more finger and mouth based bouts of sex more.

"Fuck me," April begged.

June didn't hesitate. She took the strap-on and managed to be surprisingly effortless about dropping her jeans and getting the straps attached. She kept April bent over the desk and bent at the knees to slide the thin, short toy into her very slowly.

"God," April squirmed as it entered her, "Holy fuck, June. Yes. Fuck me."

Fuck you, kid, June thought, which was just as April wanted. June moved her hips, trying to figure out how to work the toy, and soon found a rhythm. Soon after, April was accepting the whole thing and hitting a first orgasm.

April's ass quaked and her legs shook, trying to keep her up properly as June pushed in and out of her. April's came down from her high but June didn't let up and a new escalation seemed to start in April. June smacked her ass just inches below where April's hands wrists were still tied up behind her back. June then pulled on the scarf. April cried out in pleasure and pain as she was pulled up to arch her back while June fucked her. Fucked her. Fucked her.

Fuck her.

April's second climax was partially choked away, but June let go of the scarf and April slowly went back down to the table where she let out a scream of pleasure, her whole body shaking, her skin red as her hair in all the exertion. She came all over the toy for almost a full minute, squeezing it so hard with her sex it was almost pushed out.

When it was over, June pulled the toy from April, giving April an aftershock. June pulled her up and sat her back down in the chair she found her in. "Let's cuddle," April said, trying to kiss June. But June backed away.

"No," June said, "You don't deserve that."

"What...why?" April asked, but she was cut short. June had found her own panties she'd just been wearing and stuffed them into April's mouth. Deep this time. Deep so she couldn't spit them out.

"Because you ruined everything," June told her, "It was all perfect at your time. The job. The relationship. But you just had to have more, didn't you? You-"

The front door opened and closed. June turned quickly, but didn't see who it was. Footsteps went towards the back of the house and another door opened and closed. April was still in her seat. June left her and went to the first bedroom, where March was still rubbing in Aloe. She looked back to see February still playing with her tassels and January still washing off in the shower. The sun was starting to set outside, the sky purple and orange and dark blue.

June swallowed hard and looked back at the only room she hadn't been in. The second bedroom. A small one where she and Sarah would stay whenever they came to the beach house.

With a deep breath she walked to it, dropping the strap-on from her bottom half. She opened the door and it barely seemed to be a room. Just pitch black. She walked into the darkness and closed the door behind her.

======

June had been ready for a wardrobe change. She knew it would be nakedness. But it wasn't, not fully. Instead, she got the full extent of what she had left April in. A scarf around her neck, hanging down behind her. Wrists tied behind her back. Panties deep in her mouth, unable to be spit out. They had a sort of familiar taste. Sometimes Sarah would have her lick her fingers after she fingered June, which June didn't like but she did it since Sarah really liked it. That taste was similar to this one now.

"Hello?" June asked the darkness, but, of course, it was muffled and unintelligible with her mouth filled. Light filled the room. Not the lights of the ceiling, but as if someone allowed the light from the windows to finally enter, the setting sun still mostly showing. The room was as she remembered it. A small full sized bed. And on it was another woman in an outfit June never wanted to remember.

The photo was long since burned. A sexy little selfie she had taken for Sarah on a polaroid. She had been wearing one of Sarah's button down shirts (one she still had to this day) but with only one button buttoned. She wore nothing else.

This woman was in the same outfit. She had dark hair now, and was barely less slim than June. She was basically the same look as June altogether, way more than any of the other's. She stepped off the bed.

"May," she introduced herself, "But I'm sure you guessed that." June was scared. That outfit was terrifying to see. May approached her very slowly. "It's okay, June. It's alright."

June shook her head and backed into the door, but she couldn't get it opened with hands behind her back. May stopped walking towards her. "Okay," May said, "I won't come any further. Just let me get that out of your mouth, okay?"

June's eyes were wide, but she nodded. May walked one more step and reached two fingers delicately into June's mouth, pulling. The fabric slipped out, the little silver strings connecting them to June's lips breaking away. Before June could protest, May wiped June's lips for her and then took a few large paces back, tossing the panties aside.

Moving her jaw around, June took a breath.

"I'm assuming you've realized we're all from pictures," May said. June nodded. "And you know what picture I'm from. From that day."

June remembered that day vividly. At least, she remembered the daytime of it. It had ended with her opening almost every bottle of booze in her apartment and drinking away the night. She remembered, vaguely, having a certain thought while she drank and wanting to hold onto it, but she couldn't.

"That was the night Sarah left," June said, dejected.

"Yeah. But then you drank. And, while that wasn't very healthy, you did have a good moment. And that's where I came from. From that good moment. But, why are you here then? What has happened since?"

June said nothing.

"How long has it been?"

"A year and a half."

May nodded. "I saw what you did to April. Why'd you do that?"

"It was all her fault."

"No. It wasn't." May rubbed her head, she swayed in place, shirt shifting around her body. June watched her body openly, as it was her own body, and had some admiration for it. And some loathing. "It wasn't her fault. And she is you. And it wasn't your fault. That was what happened that night when you got drunk. You had clarity, that this wasn't on you. I had clarity. We had it."

"I worked too much," June said.

"You had goals! Dreams! Maybe you worked a little too much but you didn't ignore her! It was her-"

"I pushed her away."

"She left you after what she did. Don't you see how insane that is. It's not your-"

"Stop!" June shut her eyes.

May walked up to June until June was against the door again, scared. May pointed at June accusingly, standing at perfect eye level to her. "You're not with her, are you?"

"No," June said, "She's with Karen."

May's anger dissipated. "Karen. She went with her? Jesus." She put her forehead on June's chest and sighed.

June was cold, her nipples starting to harden. The sun was waning outside and the lights weren't on. May took June to the bed. June wanted to resist, but she was tired. May tied the scarf to the headboard and then let June out of the wrist tie. June stretched her arms and May pushed her body until June lied down on her back, breasts swaying as she settled.

"You're gonna fuck me now?" June asked. May seemed to ignore her as she looked up and down June's body.

"You shaved," May said, pointing between June's legs. Sarah had always liked June to keep a little bush, but June always wanted to try clean shaven. She didn't have much of a preference now.

"Yeah," June nodded.

May got up on the bed and undid her shirt, letting it fall down so they were both nude. June's eyes traveled down May's body. Her own body. "June," May said, "This wasn't your fault. It was hers."

"No," June shook her head, "It was mine. I'm an idiot. I'm-"

"You're not," May said, shifting to lie down next to her. She went on her side and held her head up with a hand. She laid a hand on June's stomach and drifted her fingertips along it, making June's eyes flutter closed for just a moment to enjoy the sensation. She opened them again and looked away. "She's the one who did this," May continued, "She cheated. She left. You can't blame yourself for that."

"Stop touching me," June snapped.

"Why?"

"I don't like you."

"Well," May said, "I'm you."

"I know."

The sun disappeared outside and the room had only dusk's light to fill it.

"Just get it over with," June said.

"What do you mean?" May asked.

"You're gonna do something to me. Everyone has."

"And what would I do?"

"You're the last one so I'm guessing fuck me. You're all here so I can finally have an orgasm, right?"

"No," May said, "We're not here because of your body, June." She climbed up and onto June. She straddled her waist and held her face so she had to look into May's eyes. Her own eyes. "I have no interest in fucking you."

"Then why did you trap me here?"

"June. You've just had a scarf with a knot attached to your neck for the last five minutes. You could have untied it and walked out whenever you wanted. And you knew that." May's hands then did just that, undoing the knot and flipping it away. They were both completely naked. Not even an earring on them. Not a spec of makeup. Not a hair tie. They looked into each other's eyes.

"So, what do you want with me?" June asked.

"June, what do you think? You have to say it. You have to know it."

A tear came to June's eye. It fell down her temple and soaked the pillow underneath. May wiped it away and June managed to hold the rest back. "You want to love me?" She asked.

May smiled sweetly. "Of course," she said. She leaned her face closer, a curtain of hair around them. June could smell her own shampoo on it. "And I'm you, so that that means?"

June's hands came up to May's cheeks and lifted herself up. They kissed. May's lips were tender and soft and matched her own perfectly. June moaned into them. She inhaled sharply with May and traveled her hands down to feel her younger self's breasts, cupping them, feeling her nipples between her fingers, knowing everything she liked.

May slipped her tongue into June's mouth with her own moan, echoing in June's ears, confusing her as to who was making what sounds. Their tongues danced and May sucked on June's the way June liked. Everything was perfectly tuned to her. May's fingers circled June's nipples and then gave them the softest of pinches. She kissed down June's neck and June writhed in anticipation, biting a finger.

May traced her tongue along June's collarbone, then kissed with more firmness to June's breasts and cupped them, giving them soft love and squeezes, sucking on her nipples with no teeth, and pulling them gently with her lips until they slipped out and snapped back into their place along June's flesh.

"Oh my god," June let out, her hands rummaging through May's hair just as she would rummage through her own when stressed. But this wasn't stress, this was the opposite. June's body tingled all over as May kissed down her stomach. Her legs opened on instinct, wider than they had been in ages. May kissed her mound, soft and smooth, the only difference between them really. Now, seeing it on May, on herself from a new angle, June kind of liked the look of a little tuft of hair there. Maybe she would grow it out again.

Those thoughts were interrupted, though. May reached her destination. She kissed June's thighs and licked along the gentle skin around her sex. June's toes curled and her hands went to her own chest. Her eyes closed.

May kissed her delicate lips softly. June's body came alive with fire inside and out. Her eyes opened and she crunched up to her elbows to see May watching her. May's tongue ventured out and licked up June's wetness. This won't take long, June thought. May seemed to know that too, and accelerated from simple licking to more fervent eating of June's pussy, letting out sighs of satisfaction as if June was a treat.

June kept her eyes on May as long as she could, but, eventually, May's tongue was too good to handle and she fell back to the bed, pulling the bed sheets. She yanked them so hard they came off the mattress's corners. "Don't stop...please don't stop..." June yearned. May's tongue dipped inside her a bit and her lips played at her clit. "Holy shit!" June thrashed but May moved with her.

It hit.

June's thighs quivered. They shook inwards, trapping May's head in love for what she was doing to her. "Yes. Thank you!" June cried, and knew it was her own self she thanked. The pulses of an orgasm so sharp and all encompassing ran through June's body from between her legs, out to every finger tip, toe, and strand of hair. Everything was on such pleasurable fire. June's jaw hurt from hanging open and moaning for every single action May did to her.

Eventually the pulses hit her slower. She shook and shook and shook. Finally, what felt like hours later, the shakes stopped. She closed her mouth and swallowed hard to fight the dryness that had formed. Panting bit by bit to regain composure. She curled her neck and looked down at May, lapping at her gently, hair having fallen in her face. June moved it and saw her own eyes looking up at her still. They had been watching the whole time.

"Hey," June smiled.

May smiled too, giving her one more kiss and raising up, wiping her mouth and coming to kiss June gently. June moved her, though, rolling them so she could be on top of May now. June's thigh landed between May's legs, and May's thigh raised up between June's. June grinded, gently at first, holding May's face and kissing her deeply.

"I'm sorry I blamed you," June said, "I can't explain it."

"You don't have to. I'll always forgive you. We all will," she gestured out the door and moaned a little. June felt wetness on her thigh. They grinded more and kissed more, and felt each other more, and loved each other completely, pressing their legs into each other until they both were holding each other tightly for one final, soft climax to share. They laid there afterwards for a long while, until the night was officially upon them and moonlight had filled the room.

======

"We love you," May said, when they finally detached.

"I love you too....June." June said. May smiled at the name. June kissed her one last time.

June stood from the bed. She picked up the shirt May had been wearing and May nodded to her. June left the room.

She went to the kitchen and found April. "I love you," she told her, removing the panties from her mouth and kissing her tenderly. April just smiled at her while June untied her completely. June took the panties with her as she left.

June went to March next. Bursting through the door, she dove onto the bed and kissed March, the aroma of aloe in the air. After, March sat up in shock and elation. June undid March's jeans button and pulled them from her, waving goodbye and telling March she loved her.

In the living room she found February. June straddled her on the couch and kissed her, biting her bottom lip gently, and murmuring her love into February's mouth. She slipped the dangling jade earrings from February and left the living room.

With all the clothes balanced in her arms, and still very much naked, June ran out the door. She grabbed a beach chair and threw down the stairs into the sand, then tossed all the clothes onto the chair.

In a spotlight of the moon, January still stood under the water. June went to her and pulled the tan, blonde version of herself from a decade ago out of the stream and kissed her deeply, holding her tighter than any of the others. January looked nervous when they detached, still wondering why June was there at all.

"You're going to be fine," June assured her, "I promise." She kissed January one more time and reached behind her, undoing the bikini and pulling it from January, who covered herself for a second but then laughed and dropped her arms, her tanlined breasts out for the world to see.

"Go inside," June told her, "I love you."

Nervous, January nodded. She went up the porch, looked back to June once, and disappeared into the house.

June took a deep breath. She looked at the blue bikini top for a few moments and put it on, tying it up in the back. She went to the beach chair and one by one put the clothes on. April's panties. March's jeans. May's shirt. And February's earrings. She was ready.

June looked back at the house. The five of them were standing in different windows, waving to her like a little family. She smiled at them and turned to the water, sand between her toes, wave crashes filling her ears, and walked.

One step. Two. Three. Four. Five.

June's eyes opened. There was no sand. No waves. No special outfit. Just a couch under her and an office around her.

"Welcome back," Dr. Reshma said behind her, "How do you feel?

======

The dream, hypnosis, whatever it was had come to an end and June arrived back in her apartment. The apartment she had found out Sarah was cheating on her in and Sarah soon after moved out of. June had spent so long blaming herself, but that didn't make sense. It wasn't her fault. Had she been perfect? No. But she was not bad enough to warrant what had happened. She knew that now.

June arrived home at 9pm and ate dinner. Then, instead of changing to her pajamas, she got dressed. She found a pair of black lace panties she once remembered Sarah putting into her mouth. She found the shirt she had been wearing when Sarah had left her. She found her favorite pair of jeans. She found her blue bikini, tucked deep in her drawer, with a rip along one of the cups. And she found a pair of earrings, jade, a gift from her parents when she had graduated.

She put it all on, got on her bed...and called Sarah.

"Hello?" Sarah's voice came through. "June?"

"Hey," June said.

"June...it's really good to hear from you. What's up?"

"Nothing much," June said, "How are you?"

"Um...okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah, well, Karen and I broke up, I don't know if you heard."