Lover Behind the Mask

"What? I don't understand? Are you saying that you are both man and woman? I'm confused."

She brushed away the tears as I shook with rabid fear.

I waited for her to continue, but she hesitated. I tried to fill in the gaps myself. "That was you humping my brains out last night? How is that possible, unless...unless...so you still have it? A cock? There is a penis under your skirt?"

"Uh huh. It's a secret I've been carrying around for so long."

My mind was suddenly a battlefield of doubt and disbelief. Anguish and even raw anger took hold of me, but my confused mind continued to desire information.

"I don't believe you. I want to see it."

Cheryl lifted up her skirt and the sight of a stiff eight inch cock made my stomach churn.

"I wanna throw up," I exclaimed, unable to stop the room from spinning. "I don't understand. You're saying you're a woman trapped in a man's body, only its women you want?"

"That's why I resisted having the operation," she whispered, her face etched with fear and grief. "I hope you don't hate me. I am what I am, but in my old community, everywhere I turned was prejudiced and hate. I actually tried suicide twice after they found out that I was different, a man becoming a woman."

Rage suddenly overtook my curiosity. "I was saving myself for marriage. And you raped me?"

"It was consensual."

"Bullshit," I yelled, slamming my open hand onto the counter for effect. "You took advantage of me. I was drunk, and stoned out of my mind on that crazy pot! How could I consent to anything?"

"And I wasn't drunk or stoned? I had more to drink and smoke than you! I didn't know what I was doing anymore than you did."

"More bullshit. You covered up what you did right up until the very end."

"You can't blame me for being petrified at letting out my secret. For five years no one knew I was a male who is really a female."

"And yet, conveniently still attracted to females? Don't transgendered or transsexual men, or whatever it is, don't they prefer men? Don't your types become women so they can be more attractive to men?"

"That's right, only as a new woman, I still prefer women."

"This is nuts. I've never heard of such crap."

"I wanted it to stay a secret, but since you might be pregnant, well, no sense having you tear apart the community looking for a phantom rabbit. If there is a baby on the way, well, now you know I don't just love you as a best friend, but a lover, someone who would make me a great spouse!"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this. I must be going out of my mind. I might be pregnant to a man who is really a woman who should prefer men as a transsexual, but who prefers women."

"Something like that. Only now that you know, there is no need for me to keep who I am and what I am a secret from you any longer."

"Are you suggesting we become boyfriend and girlfriend? Or in your case girlfriend and girlfriend? Damn! What the hell difference does it make! Could you imagine the flack and hell that I and my family would go through if I was a partner to a woman who was really a man? The gossip mills would run my Christian family out of church and out of town and embarrass them to no end."

"People can be prejudiced and unfair, but you could fight back, hold your ground. We could make it together if you really wanted to. A lesbian couple where one of us has a penis. A match made in heaven if you ask me."

"A nightmare in hell if you ask me. Well, this is one stunned, Christian girl that doesn't want to make it together with you. You'll have to leave right now and never come back near me or this house. Not ever. And if I am pregnant, then I'll have to fake a rape or something, and lie to the police and say I was ambushed on the road or in the woods or something. There is no way I could possibly ever admit to having sex with a transsexual or a trans what do you call it?"

"Transgendered," she said, the tears streaming down her face.

I would be sick to my stomach if what happened here tonight were to ever be made public."

"You don't have to be prejudiced against me, or be cruel like the rest of them," she blubbered. "You can't imagine how hard it was for me growing up, and still is. But I know you have strong feelings for me, and you want to explore those feelings. Why can't you just let it happen?"

"Let it happen? With a damn freak of nature? Because that's what you are, you know, a damn freak!"

"Don't say that! You have no right to call me that. I'm your best friend, and I'm in love with you."

"In love with me? Is that what you call raping me? Love?"

"You're not being fair. We were both out of our minds, so high and drunk."

"But you were not stoned or drunk enough apparently to not be able to cover your tracks, to back away after you'd had your fun with me, and sit in a far corner and ditch the rabbit costume and then make up elaborate lies about how you had no clue who the mystery rabbit man was."

"It isn't easy being a transsexual, to be what I am. I was hoping that if my secret did ever come to light, that you would be the one person on this planet that I could trust, that I could depend on to not only keep their respect for me, but to love me for what I was, and to make me feel like I was not condemned."

"Get out of my parent's house right now and never come back. If you were a man I would be having you charged for rape. But I would never be able to admit to the world that I let some man who is really a woman, risk knocking me up."

She put her arms around me. "Please don't send me away. You are the most important person in my life, my anchor. I don't want to lose you."

"Get out," I screamed, pushing her away as my frustration boiled over.

Her countenance changed. And she clenched her fists. She stepped toward me and came nose to nose, her face reddening. "I don't think you got pregnant after just one try, but if you are knocked up, then I am certain, as a Christian, you will want to carry it to term. You're not going to abort it, and I'm not going to turn my back on it either. It will be my child just as much as yours, and I will want to visit it often and have my name on its birth certificate, and everyone will know, including the child as it grows up, that I am the father. So the community in the end is going to find out we had sex whether you want them to or not."

"I can't believe this is happening to me," I blurted out. "You'd better leave right away, I'm warning you."

"Fine, I'm going. But you'd better remember what I said."

She turned and stomped off, her tiny waist, wide hips and generous round white ass waving goodbye at me seductively. She was certainly an extremely sexy woman, only she had a penis, and she had no qualms about using it. As she reached the front door and yanked it open without turning to say goodbye, my heart felt as though it were being ripped out of my chest. I now knew why she had kept her secret from me for so long. Knowing she had a cock would have got me thinking about experimenting if indeed we did become close in a sexual way. And that temptation would have been totally unacceptable to me.

I sighed as the door slammed shut. Both she and I were ablaze with uncontrollable emotions. I felt as though I had just been in a damn train wreck. Things had just become complicated beyond control, and I was so confused over the whole situation that shock seemed to grip me like a glove.

Sooner or later I was going to start thinking about the things she said, and the fact she was actually packing an erection. My heart was still entwined with the fact she still meant so very much to me, a long time best friend who loved me in a variety of ways. I was now in a full blown panic. She was going to undoubtedly keep chipping away at my resistance, trying daily to get me to fall in love with her in a sexual way. If I wasn't pregnant, then I might have a fighting chance, but if was knocked up, then...then...damn, if that were to be the case then I knew in my heart of hearts I would undoubtedly always be curious about what it might be like to have a relationship with, and to sleep with a woman and her penis, especially since we had been so close over the years. Also, I now supposed her veiled threat to uncover our 'relationship' might be put to the test whether I succumbed to her nefarious but irresistible temptations or not. I now shook with rabid fear. I couldn't imagine my parents finding out, or the members of my very conservative Christian church. And what of my fellow students and teachers at school. If they would end up viewing Cheryl as some kind of strange freak, would they not also view me in the same way? One thing was certain, if my indiscretion with Cheryl were to ever be made public, then I would probably get booted out of church and my parent's home, as well as having my funds yanked at school, making me both uneducated and unemployed in a small, unforgiving town where strange quirks were frowned upon and only the norm rewarded.

I glanced at the wall clock and suddenly trembled for a different reason. My parents would be coming home in just a half dozen short hours. I really needed to finish cleaning the place up.

I found an empty beer can behind the back of my mom's prized white leather couch, and as I was about to retrieve it, my eyes focused on a small cigarette burn that was embedded into the couch cushioning. Obviously some stupid moron had dropped a lit cigarette down the couch backing but had been unable to retrieve it in time.

I sighed in utter frustration. That couch had been my mom's pride and joy. Sometimes she would remove the cushions and vacuum inside of it. She would surely see the small burn mark the next time she did. Shivers of fear crawled along my frightened spine.

A glance under the cushion on the antique wing chair across the room revealed even more infamous booty. A used condom. A used condom? Were they kidding me? A priceless antique chair that I had cautioned the crowd to not dare sit in, had not only been used to sit in, but to have sex in. Things were going from bad to worse.

The kitchen counter top and floor were disasters, with strewn food and dirty dishes everywhere.

I did my best to clean it all up, using mops, sanitizers, floor polish, and a whole lot of elbow grease.

When I had finally finished, it was four o'clock. Just an hour to go before my parents were to come strolling through that door. As long as my parents didn't go snooping through the sealed trash bags, or lifting the white leather cushion, then I would have gotten away with foolishly hosting the Halloween party from hell. I sighed in relief at the thought. It could have been a whole lot worse, so it did look like I might emerge from the party completely unscathed.

And then the thought hit me, 'not completely unscathed!' There was still the abominable turn of events concerning Mr. Rabbit, that still crippled me with nauseating fear. I had inadvisably tried out some pot after drinking some vodka. A deadly combination for an inexperienced Christian girl like myself. The subsequent turn of events were now weighing heavily on my mind. In my brain's pickled and irrational state, my best friend had taken my virginity with a large stiff, semen spewing cock I didn't even know she had. To make matters worse, the condom had broken inside of me, and I had the sticky cum, oozing out of my deflowered vagina to prove it.

Perhaps the most damaging revelation attached to all that, was the fact that Cheryl had once been a he, who was now masquerading as a she, and who had been trying so desperately for years to steer me into a lesbian relationship with her even though I was straight as they come, a heterosexual Christian virgin girl who had never so much as kissed a boy, much less spread her legs for him.

What if I were pregnant? And what if my finicky mind and heart should somehow conspire to wreak havoc with my fantasies? It was the desire of every Christian woman to eventually walk down the aisle with the Christian man of her dreams. But a woman who had been taking feminine hormones to disguise and altar her masculine past? Cheryl was easily the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and her constant advances to me had been rebuffed up till now. But that wasn't to say that I hadn't found her amorous come ons exciting or enticing. A part of me was definitely interested, and a quick browse of chat forums in the past had made me aware that at least half of all women at one point in their lives had been curious about being romantically involved with another woman. Lesbian feminists claimed that most women were curious about possibly making out with other women, hence the modern terminology, 'bi-curious!"

I now had to admit to myself that Cheryl's pesky yet persistent advances had been both tempting and flattering. But now they were becoming downright scary. A woman with a cock? A beautiful woman who emotionally and psychologically had been my very best friend for the last five years.

I closed my eyes on a forbidden impulse and began to imagine what it might be like for us to experiment, gently kissing each other's swelling nipples, carefully massaging each other's thighs and bums with scented oils, running our fingertips onto a throbbing clitoris that pulsated with irresistible pleasure. Clasping the shaft of a rock hard cock that was fully loaded with belly swelling sperm! The mental image of Cheryl and new unstoppable images of a man turned woman, were now altering the landscape of my once acceptable fantasies. The mind was a powerful tool, and capable of prolonging sinful and tempting images of sexual escapades that should be taboo and unseen. Only my mind was now seeing them, manufacturing the image of Cheryl and I with our firm breasts pressed together and with her formidable erection making me sweat and moan, lighting up my vagina and making my body so full of pleasure, that there would be no going back should I ever consciously cross that line.

The other problem for me, was that sex with Cheryl was no longer something that could be controlled or disallowed because of my desire and determination not to let it happen the first time. It had already happened, and whether I liked it or not, I was faced with the unhappy truth that my vaginal entrance had already been broached and defiled. I was no longer pure, and no longer able to bluff Cheryl that her advances were not getting to me.

I had indeed often wondered what it might be like to just let go of my inhibitions and let her no doubt skilful lips suck like magic on my vulnerable and wildly sensitive sacred virgin tunnel. Only my tunnel was neither virgin nor sacred anymore, and had been unceremoniously violated by a sexy lady with a super sexy penis. My impressionable mind was now trapped in the realization I would never be able to forget about what it might be like to have her mighty erection thrust so deep and heavenly inside of me, or to have her lips work over my quivering pussy, or have her tongue lavish my nipples with honey sweet saliva. Just the idea of our pretty painted lips pressing together was making me swoon.

I heard a key suddenly make the clanking sound of a lock being broached.

My parents?

I glanced at the kitchen wall clock. Four fourteen.

Forty-six minutes early?

The door swung open and in came my parents, plopping down heavy bags and luggage from their romantic weekend getaway.

"Darling daughter. How wonderful to see you again. And I'm very happy that you and your friends didn't burn the place down on Halloween."

My mother's words were cynical but at the same time coated with love. The cynical tone was to appease my heavy handed dad, who had not been in agreement with allowing me to have some party in their absence in the first place.

It didn't take long for him to assert his heartfelt objections to my mother's permission once more. "Honestly Wilma, letting our nineteen year old daughter have friends over on Halloween while we were away? I still think it was a stupid thing to do."

"You calling me stupid?" she spat out, trying to back him off.

His angry and biting response got caught in his throat. They were coming back from a romantic weekend getaway. Why stir up the pot of arguing now? What was done was done. Besides, I could tell what he was thinking. The place was still standing. It was clean and fresh looking, and as far as he knew, I was still a virgin and the police had not been called to break up the supposedly innocent party.

"I'm assuming it was over at ten like I insisted," my dad hurled at me, his eyes threatening to become fiery red with rage. What irked him most about the party was not the fact I was hosting it without him there, but the fact it fell on a pagan celebration. Halloween was a time of year that Christian's frowned upon. Most didn't want their children out trick or treating and most didn't want their children celebrating it in any way. The prevailing theory for Christians was, that Halloween was originally set up so Christians were forced to give visitors knocking at the door a treat of some sort, whether in food or money or goods that would appease them enough to stop them from inflicting a 'trick' upon the Christian household. The non-Christians typically would wear masks so they couldn't be identified the next day. It all happened once a year as a punishment against the hated Christians who claimed to be God's chosen people, and who also claimed to be able to talk with God, in addition to having a direct route to heaven in the afterlife. What infuriated non-Christians of the period, was the assertion by their holy counterparts that all non-Christians were damaged goods in the eyes of God and therefore could not enter heaven nor be saved. Apparently the only way to become saved was to follow the baptism and sin forsaking ways as outlined by the Christians.

"You know, of course, that Halloween is a pagan and unholy ritual perpetrated upon Christians hundreds of years ago?"

"So you've told me a dozen times before dad," I replied, looking to my mother to stem the tide of religious preaching which usually accompanied his moods of rage.

"No need to preach to the choir, honey," my mom said to my dad, trying to rescue me from the brewing sermon now forming on the edges of my dad's right wing conservative mind. I cringed in fear at the thought. If my one night affair with the rabbit girl was to be made public, then surely not only would our church friends disown me, but all his right wing conservative friends as well. In my dad's limited way of thinking, I would be bringing shame on both the church and his family. Still, the escalating temptation now gnawing at the corners of my mind, was both frightening and irresistible at the same time. Making love to an oversexed best friend who just happened to be sporting a penis? Cheryl had termed it as having the sexual best of both worlds. I now had to wonder if she hadn't been actually right about the whole thing. Still, my parents and the church's obvious condemnation of such behaviour would be both swift and relentless if I should ever attempt to start up such an ill-advisable affair.

My phone began to vibrate in my pocket. My friend the rabbit, perhaps?

"I think I'll retire to my room now," I said, hopeful my parents wouldn't try to keep me in their presence any longer. As much as I loved them, now was not the time to hear them go on about how they hoped I was behaving because I was their only precious daughter. Their admonitions would only wear thin on my patience. Cheryl was obviously in a panic over my declaration we were no longer best friends, or even friends of any kind. Obviously she was in tears and wanted to talk about it. I, on the other hand, wanted her out of my life completely. She was far too much temptation for a sex starved, love starved, fetish starved woman like me to be around. I was determined to call her up and tell her to stop phoning me, texting me, emailing me, or bumping into me at either school or church. I was going to call her back and tell her to fuck off once and for all.