All Comments on 'Luna's Angel Ch. 07-12'

I usually love your writing, but this story is horrible. Its definitely not up to par with your other stories and needs editing badly. It didn't just feel rushed, it felt like you didn't really put any heart into writing it. Then there's the plot, which doesn't make much sense. Why would he mate with her now that he's an angel? He's going to live forever and she's going to die. Maybe she'll be reincarnated as your story suggests. Will he hunt her new incarnation down and force her to live a childless life in the next life, then again in the next? How will that be fair to her?

I know you can do better, but the "I'm a big badass hero that can't die" thing is just ugh, not happening.

The avenging wolf angel sent to cleanse the weres.....

Not happy with this one

Unlike the others I like this story and I am enjoying it.. I hope it continues. To me it is good for the good guys to win for a change. A pens is not the only organ you can use to make love with.

Not sure where it can go from here?

You need extra characters some shouldn't be werewolves

Plot needs extending beyond mass murder to more positive

Keep it going plz

djb

As for how this story could continue, that's difficult.

Maybe Luna gives him his genitals back and strips his powers for the most part and he continues to cull the evil SOB's, or Luna sets him loose on a world-wide evil purging, or, this is the end of the tale.

Either way, I'm sure that whatever you come up with next I'm gonna read and enjoy anyway.

Ignore the haters.

Write WTF you want and HOW you want.

Thanks!

Hmm...

Ok I'm lost here unlike with your other works. You have an angel werewolf who has no way to have normal sex mate with werewolf rogue who has been through a lot of shit and they are together. Ok but now what? How can he be Luna's angel and have a mate? We already seen what happens when someone threatens Wendy's life.

Still five out five, but I have to wonder where you are taking this.

Still using ideas from Pocketbooklovers South Mountain Pack series for your own personal use. Every chapter of every series you've written contains ideas from her series. The least you can do is give her a shoutout.

I though he was supposed to be bald now so how can she grab his hair. I thought she would have come back to him as another Angel as she died from having her throat cut and Luna thinking it would be best if she had a mated pair to do her work.

If you have any specifics you can PM me or post them here, but I'm getting tired of the baseless accusations.

First, I have been reading your stories for the past year. (All but the werecat one now which I will start soon) Yes, there are some inconsistencies, but there always will be in writing. Many big-house published authors have inconsistencies in their stories over a series. Don't let the naysayers/nitpickers discourage you. It is a very well written and thought out story overall.

Second, I love the concept of this story. Being immortal could very well mean that you lose all emotion and just "do your job" so I was glad to see that Wendy survived though I was surprised. I was really expecting to see her come back as an angel. I truly believe without love Nathan certainly would turn into the epic hardened and heartless killing machine. Which leans to the confusion I'll go over below. I also like that he got his mate despite not having the ability to have "intercourse", which is a change from the usual werewolf theme.

Now how am I confused? I have no idea how you are going to go from here. The issue of an immortal falling in love with a mortal is a common theme among stories in history, going as far back as written stories I believe. Unfortunately I can only consciously recall back to Greek mythological stories but I think it goes back even further. Very few have good endings. So how you will deal with this dilemma I will wait to read.

To those that hate it, that just means it is not for you which is fine.

partwolf, please do more or at least let us know if you are going to end this as a short story.

You've been called out by others for using their ideas and plot lines. If I remember correctly, MyGypsy called you out on Facebook for it and I've talked to PBL and she said she had spoken with you about this a few times. So, if you're going to use their ideas, then give them credit.

Seriously whatever you are on can you please share because partwolf stories are nothing like any other author. i know that some people like to think they are but they arent i have read all of those authors as well. in fact i would say that partwolf is better then mygypsy....so for this story in particular either put up or shut up..if you dont like then dont read...go troll some other author

After reading the spat here in the comments I went and read PBLs story and I am glad I did it was wonderful. That said, the similarities found between that story and the world partwolf is writing are no different than the similarties found in most fantasy fiction. Both authors are fantastic and should continue to grow their worlds and stories. Petty squabbling over ideas and takes on the concepts of were culture demeans the authors and the fans. Let us all take a deep breath and instead celebrate that these authors take their time to share with us.

I have a problem with stories involving deities of almost any kind. It has nothing to do with personal belief, but everything to do with the fact that almost all such stories end up being mediocre at best, because gods as characters are almost impossibly hard to write.

This story here is one such example where the characterization of the divine falls totally flat. Even Mars, ancient Rome's god of war, has a cameo with no purpose beyond delivering a piece of applied phlebotinum - which is so untypical for the character that's been described in three thousand years worth of texts that even a LITERAL god manages to to come off as a cheap deus ex machina, thrown in because the author decided that rather than fitting the puzzle pieces of their plot neatly together, a wooden hammer and maybe some Scotch tape would do the job well enough.

Heck, one doesn't even have to read Homer to get an idea that Mars, or Ares as he was called in Grece, was best described as spiteful and merciless, prone to violence and with a thirst for blood - watching two or three episodes of Xena would have done the trick, or reading a paragraph or two of his Wiki-f'ing-pedia article!

Anyway.

The writing is uninspiring. The constant switch between annoyingly longwinded "he said she said" episodes and sudden third person recaps of conversations that should have been interesting to read, yet were probably too hard for the author to write out, is jarring at times. After the protagonists rise to immortality, there is no tension arc in the story whatsoever. Any hopes for insightful introspection, gradual coming to terms with new circumstances, or figuring out how to balance mortal morality with divine judgement are disappointed while the story plods through its meaningless plot.

The sole point of interest occurs during the attempted blackmail, but even that twist in the otherwise arrow straight plot is utterly wasted. The reader is told about the protagonists feelings, but they are never shown. We are told about the swathes of destruction he has left in his wake, but the battles are never mentioned. It is stated that the protagonist became increasingly frightened - but it never feels this way. It SHOULD have felt as though Nathan were gradually growing detached from his mortal origins; it SHOULD have felt as though Nathan were gradually growing more zealous and fanatical in his efforts to sort good from evil; it SHOULD have felt as though he had almost become a fallen angel, a perversion of his goddess' ideals, and that only Wendy's love had been able to bring about his redemption...

But none of this happened.

And that's a shame, because in light of what could have been, the deficits are so much more glaring.

I have found the last few of your stories have contained poor copies of scenes from stories already out there. I was put onto some of the offending pieces by an author I have BETA read for and I know their style of writing well. It is not hard to recognise an attempt at the same style of writing.

The scenes in your story have been like a toddlers water color scribble trying to copy a vibrant oil painting worthy of hanging in an art gallery.

Until you can making readers laugh, rejoice, cry, despair, mourn for people in your story you have not arrived.

Kudos to the writers you are trying to copy, may they remember imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

If nothing else your story has been a great way of falling asleep at night.

Trey

Partwolf, I'm sorry for the negative bashing. I really am enjoying your story. Keep up the good work. Dawn

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Piss on the naysayers, you doing a Great job ,but everyone had am opinion.