All Comments on 'Luscious Cones'

by exhaustedinNY

Sort by:
  • 9 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Please tell me it doesn’t end there because Bill needs that baseball bat shoved up his ass. If you don’t have any more chapters planned then please just put an addendum to the story how the entire town comes out and stabs Bill to death with sharpened sugar cones! PLEASE?!?!?!?!

redpoppiesredpoppiesover 2 years ago

I know authors can create any reality they want in their stories. However, unless your stories take place in a land of orcs, demons, fairies and the like instead of what looks like a typical American city, then the author is leaning on the consensus reality we call ordinary life. So predicating a story on the notion a Non Disclosure Agreement can protect business owners who want to beat and sexually abuse their employees is outrageous and too far from that consensus reality the author is relying on to carry the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

PLEASE MAKE A PART 2, i mean he knows where she lives with her brother so there's good starting grounds, this was fucking amazing tho

GoddessViolet86GoddessViolet86over 2 years ago

Will there be more?!! I'm invested!! This is good!

exhaustedinNYexhaustedinNYover 2 years agoAuthor

I really appreciate all the interest in this story, thank you for reading! As to whether there will be more, I'm not sure - I wrote it as a stand-alone for the Summer Lovin' Contest. I've had some ideas about doing a prequel and telling Margot's story, but I will consider the possibility of a continuation as well, seeing that there's some interest.

@redpoppies - I think it's important to make a distinction between the author and the character. It is the character, Bill, who believes that he can use the idea of a non-disclosure agreement to protect himself. He thinks he is very meticulous and calculated in the way he chooses these girls who work for him, making sure that they were going to be naive, isolated, and desperate enough to believe him. He questions them about their family and friends, trying to weed out the girls who have a major support system, who might confide in their parents or question the legitimacy of the fact that a confidentiality agreement protects him. He knows that it doesn't, he is just using it to manipulate them, to make them scared of losing the income they desperately need and incurring possible legal trouble. I don't think that's fantastical or unrealistic to assume that there are men out there with malicious intentions who take advantage of young women by controlling them and lying to them about their legal options in retaliation.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Fellow readers I too wanted a sequel but the last few chapters obviously "tied the bow on this one". There is no more water as the spring has moved on.

crazysexykool93crazysexykool93over 2 years ago

I would love to see a sequel where Bill gets his ass beat... and maybe John helps Charlie realize her kinks aren't as bad as she thinks 😁

L O ReinsL O Reinsover 2 years ago

Well done. Very good story. I think you’re right to close it out but I do like the club and your characters are so well drawn—the idea of a prequel seems like a nice way to shore up a great story. But I see you have thirty more stories for me to explore :-)

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Good premise.

But sex is too automatic. Too matter-of-fact. No preliminaries, no buildup, just boom, right at it.

Lacks details. Lacks lots of details. Lacks step-by-step progression. Cock out. On knees. Cock in mouth.

No mention of what his cock looked like -- especially to her. She's no virgin, so she's seen, handled, sucked, fucked others before. How does his look? Why doesn't he have her play with it a while before it goes into her mouth. Needs dialog. How well is she doing? Would he like something else? Should she suck faster? Slower to keep him from cumming too soon?

Three stars.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
userexhaustedinNY@exhaustedinNY
New book out today on Amazon! Check out this hot holiday story: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0BQFVZ5HQ/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1WSZSMJ643X1E&keywords=jordan+lubov&qid=1671372098&sprefix=jordan+lubov%2Caps%2C111&sr=8-4 For more of my stories, check out my Medium page: https://medium.c...