Lying by Omission

"Umm, yeah, I've been away at school so I don't really get the chance--"

"I'm kidding," Priya had smiled. "Hey, wanna bet they're going to talk for so long they won't even notice if we run across the street for a coffee?" Ilan had been taken aback by her boldness, the likes of which he'd never experienced coming from Sri Lankan girls. "Come on, they won't miss us," Priya had insisted, her sari swaying as she was already halfway to the temple entrance.

They would have been a strange sight, walking into a coffee shop dressed to the nines in South Asian gear--if it hadn't been Scarborough, where Tamil temples were just as ubiquitous as Tim Horton's. Ilan felt not only flattered but charmed when she seamlessly asked him out a second time as they sipped their double-doubles.

She actually led the charge when we got together, he recalled, justifying it was only natural of her to take control of their wedding planning. Yet... all these years when he'd been admiring how bold and straightforward she'd been, had he inadvertently taught her how to treat him?

"Ya know, I'm here for a reason," Kai interrupted his thoughts. "It's so you don't have to look like a loon, scowling at the wall."

"Sorry," Ilan shook his head. "I was just thinking about how Priya and I met, and how we changed over the years." He glanced at the remainder of his sub just as Kai furrowed his brow. "And I was wondering whether either of us really changed at all, or whether I was just noticing a bunch of things for the first time."

"Ilan," Kai said quietly. "I mean this in the gentlest way possible. I know I've never been in your spot before but my understanding of the engagement period is that it teaches you a lot about what your life together is going to be like.

"Maybe it's just the stress of pulling off a massive event, but... you know it doesn't have to be massive, right? I mean, you've already told me about at least three parties before the wedding that I wouldn't even show up for if I were the groom." Ilan snorted while finishing his sandwich.

"I think what I'm trying to say is, think about whether you want the rest of your life to have the same feel of how things are right now. If that makes you nervous, sit with that and figure out why."

***********

"Hey, Amma, why are you getting letters from Clark-Morton again?" Ilan called out to his mother a few months later. It had been a stroke of luck that no new arrests had been brought in after lunch and they could close court early, allowing him to drive to Scarborough in time for the rehearsal dinner. He held open the front screen door of his parents' house after picking up the mail off their doorstep.

"Are they just sending you junk now?" he asked, waving the one letter from the bank.

"Give that to me," his mother sternly instructed in Tamil as she snatched the stack of letters and flyers from his hands.

"You're not banking with them again, are you?" Ilan pressed. "You always complained about how bad they were. Can I help you find other savings accounts without the fees they'll charge you?"

"Wash your hands and have a snack," Malathi told him.

"Amma, are we having two different conversations?" Ilan said seriously, blocking her path in the hallway. "If they were just sending you garbage, you would have said that by now. Can you open this, please?"

"Ilan, I have to get dressed. We have to be at the hall for the rehearsal din--"

"I'll show up like this if you don't open it now." Ilan gestured to his ratty t-shirt and jeans he'd worn for the drive over after work. His mother glared at him but tossed the rest of the mail onto the side table and ripped open the lone letter from Clark-Morton. She avoided eye contact with her son as he took the notice from her hands.

"What is this?" he asked, confused. "You and Appa paid off the house when I was 17. We had a party." Malathi remained silent. "No," Ilan all but whispered. "Tell me you didn't take out a second mortgage, Amma." When his mother sighed while finally looking up at him, Ilan bounded up the stairs.

"Appa!" he shouted before almost colliding with his father in front of the upstairs bathroom, the older man's face covered in shaving cream. "What is this? Why did you do this?" One glance at the letter made Jeganathan look to the ceiling in exasperation.

"Malathi!" he shouted down the stairs in Tamil. "You really had to show him?"

"I didn't show him anything; he took it away before I could hide it! Why didn't you pick up the mail instead of watching movies all day?!"

"All day? All day?? Did you pack my lunch so I could eat it at home?! You know I got home from work at three and--"

"Then why didn't you pick up the mail instead of stepping over it?!" Malathi interrupted from the foot of the stairs. Ilan shut his eyes and hoped the throbbing in his head wasn't the onset of a migraine.

"Can't a man have a peaceful pee when he gets home from work?!"

"Both of you, stop it!" Ilan hollered as he sat exhausted at the top of the stairs. "Appa, calm down; you know you can't get worked up because of your heart. Just tell me the truth." Jeganathan ruefully shook his head and went back to the bathroom.

"I have to shave," he refused. "Your mother is the one who said yes." Ilan threw his mom a questioning glance as he skipped back down the stairs.

"Yes to whom, Amma?" Malathi was the picture of unnerved and Ilan knew he didn't actually need her answer. He pulled out his phone and cursed to himself as his fingers shook trying to find Priya's contact.

"No, ma," Malathi took Ilan's hands in hers. "It's done. Priya's parents are also contributing extra money for the wedding events and it wouldn't look good if we didn't."

"That's irrelevant, Amma," Ilan practically hissed. "She promised me several months ago she wouldn't involve any of you. I knew the deposits had already been paid but I thought she and I were going to take care of the balance after the wedding.

"Appa's going to retire in just five years and you've taken a second mortgage out on the house? So we can throw a bunch of parties??"

"Don't ruin tonight," Malathi beseeched him. "It was only a partial loan; it wasn't for the full value of the house. We still have most of it." At that, Ilan slowly put his phone back in his pocket but his face was still stormy. He sat on the stairs and balanced his head in his hands.

"Amma, I don't know if I can do this. Not tonight and maybe not at all."

"No, son," Malathi said in alarm. "You have to do this. You've been seeing each other for six years now! That's not a joke in our community. Do you know how many times I've had to answer when you're going to get married? Whatever you're angry about, we can undo it--just after the wedding."

"If I hadn't found the mail, none of you would have ever told me, would you?" Ilan simply asked.

"Because we knew you would get needlessly upset," Malathi rationalised. "Son, it's our job as your parents to set you up in the world and have you in good standing in the eyes of the community.

Weddings are important. If you have any regard for me at all, only bring this up with Priya after tonight. I'm begging you."

Ilan exhaled hard and cursed his mother's skillful emotional blackmail. As he showered and got ready, his mind whirling in latent ire all the while, he found himself trying more than a few times to get his breathing under control.

Before they left for the banquet hall, he checked his phone while waiting in the car for his parents.

Sorry I can't be there tonight, Nyssa had texted him. Kai said he'll give me all the colourful details tomorrow.

Nyssa. As if he needed that extra thorn twisted in his side right now, thinking about the woman who'd lately been making him feel the way he thought his fiancée would.

Do we still have that shoebox full of blow in evidence from the drug bust case? he replied, unsure if Nyssa would get the joke. I may need it tonight.

Sorry, no, Nyssa instantly wrote back. My friends set me up on a blind date last week and I helped myself. Ilan unwittingly broke out in a grin, the first one he'd had all day. Nyssa had been scheduled in plea court for the last three weeks and he'd missed seeing her. I'm sure it'll be much more fun than you expect, she continued. I'll check in later.

"Thank god you're smiling," Malathi told him as she plunked down in the back seat, making sure her sari wouldn't get caught in the car door before slamming it shut. "I was afraid I'd have to answer more questions."

"Amma, did you ever think to just tell everyone in the community to shut up and mind their own goddamn business?" Ilan asked as he pulled out of the driveway while his dad was buckling himself in the passenger seat.

"That's what I've been saying for years," Jeganathan seconded.

"You all say this, but what will you do when everyone gossips about us at the temple?" Malathi asked.

"I know exactly what I'd say, but I said it once in high school and you put soap in my mouth," Ilan muttered. Jeganathan laughed, then rubbed his chest with a cough.

When they spotted Priya and her parents in the front foyer, she was talking to the hall manager but broke away to greet them.

"You're looking serious," she grinned at Ilan. "Relax, tonight is supposed to be fun!"

"Right. Because that's what we paid for, isn't it?" Ilan mumbled. Priya briefly raised an eyebrow at him but Malathi widened her eyes in a sharp stare.

The hours seemed to drag on until the Sun had completely set and dinner was being served. Priya was occupied with her friends and family, leaving Ilan time to look around the room. He had barely said anything most of the night, not even to Kai who had been seated a few tables over.

At least he looks like he's having fun, Ilan smiled inwardly at the sight of his friend chatting up Priya's lovely cousin. Enjoy it while it lasts, buddy. Then he caught sight of his dad rubbing his chest and whispering something to his mom at the other end of the table. Ilan narrowed his eyes as his father got up and walked slowly in the direction of the men's room.

He glanced back and noticed his fiancée deep in discussion with her work colleague, so he excused himself and followed his father to the washroom. There, kneeling on one knee while holding on to a sink for support, was Jeganathan rubbing his chest more vigorously than he had all night.

"Appa!" Ilan exclaimed, putting his arm around his dad's shoulder. He immediately thought of the fight they'd had when he discovered the mortgage notice and was awash in guilt for raising his father's blood pressure when he could have gone about it differently.

Twenty minutes later, he helped his beleaguered mother into his car to follow the ambulance to the hospital. The entire guest list of their rehearsal dinner watched in stunned silence in the parking lot.

"I'll close things up and meet you there," Priya told Ilan as she lightly touched his arm. "It's going to be okay." In that moment, Ilan was grateful to the universe for giving her to him. He mentally kicked himself for ever fantasizing about any woman other than his fiancée.

Ilan and Malathi thought they'd get periodic updates in the ER waiting room, but once they'd been informed Jeganathan was stable and needed to go through a battery of tests, it was silence from hospital staff.

I'll just rest my eyes, Ilan thought, wishing this hellish night would be over. He next felt his head droop forward but didn't have the strength to fight off the sleep that overtook him.

***********

Ilan startled himself awake in his chair, simultaneously trying to wipe the drool off his chin and frantically looking around for a clock in the waiting room.

One-thirty? he thought in disbelief while scrunching his dry eyes. Is dad still in tests? He squinted around when he realised his mother was no longer sitting beside him, then noticed she was several rows up front with her back toward him. With her was a figure wearing a trench coat and beanie, letting Malathi rest her head on their shoulder as she slept.

Priya, Ilan thought in relief. God, thank you for letting me have her as my partner. He staggered over, noticing the person with his mother was hunched over and scrolling on her phone with her free hand. Then he noticed the pale skin of that hand before he saw her face.

"Nyssa?" he said in bewilderment. "What on earth are you even doing here?" Nyssa jumped a bit at hearing her name, then wrinkled her nose when that small movement proved enough to wake Malathi on her shoulder.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she apologised.

"No, no, ma," Malathi raised her tired body off the younger woman's bicep. "Your arm must be stiff. That was the best sleep I had in weeks." She saw Ilan and motioned toward the women's restrooms, then slowly walked off to refresh herself.

"I told you I'd text after the party," Nyssa reminded Ilan as he sat down beside her, vaguely aware he must have looked and smelled like a dumpster. "When you didn't answer, I checked in with Kai and he told me everything." While Ilan stared at her with his mouth half-open, she went on.

"I got here a couple of hours ago and saw you sleeping, and your poor mom crying beside you. So we moved over here and talked. She said she remembered me from the one time we met at your student house in law school. Then I said it's fine for her to take a nap on my shoulder. She needed to be told it was okay like, seven times before she took me up on it."

"Yeah, that sounds like her," Ilan smiled. "Wait, you got here two hours ago?" Nyssa looked at her phone clock to make sure and nodded. "And you didn't see anyone else here?"

"Well, there were tonnes of people here, Ilan," Nyssa gave him a half-smile. "But I'm guessing you're asking about anyone else from the dinner? I came in at about the same time as your sister." Both Ilan's eyebrows shot up, and he hoped Anandi hadn't remembered or connected that Nyssa had been the girl who'd broken his heart in law school.

"Did you..." Ilan cleared his throat, "...did you talk?"

"A little. I told her to go home. I mean, she told me she just found out she's pregnant and she has your niece at home already. She was beside herself and she needs her rest. I promised I'd text her with updates until your dad is released."

"Nyss, you didn't have to do any of this. I can't believe you drove all the way over from Oakville in the middle of the night to be here."

"I'm not scheduled tomorrow and it was either this or binge-watching all the Star Wars films in order." She half-reclined as she stretched out her sweatpants-clad legs from beneath the trench coat. Ilan was beyond touched.

"You didn't see anyone else here?" he asked her. Nyssa shook her head no, then turned in the other direction when she saw Malathi returning.

"Amma, do you want a coffee?" she asked. Ilan's eyes bugged out enough that his mother erupted in laughter.

"I told her to call me that instead of Mrs. S. Don't you remember I said the same to all your school friends?"

"So hey, now I can speak Tamil," Nyssa grinned.

"At least one of us can," Ilan ran his hand through his hair, still reeling from the surreal nature of this night. When Nyssa left for the coffee kiosk, he sat down with his mother and hugged her, saddened at the little sob that caught in her throat.

"You didn't see Priya here, did you?" he stated, knowing it wasn't really a question at this point.

"Maybe she came when I was asleep," Malathi tried, interrupted by her son robustly shaking his head no.

"Nyssa only mentioned you and Anandi being here. She didn't see anyone else dressed like us." For the first time that night, Ilan noted, his mother didn't argue with him. They sat with their mutual discomfort of what was staring them in the face until Nyssa returned with a full beverage tray.

"Here's yours, Ilan," she said, handing him a cup. "Slightly weaker than cocaine, just how you like it." Ilan chuckled as his friend turned to his mom. "Okay, Amma, I know you said you have sugar issues, but just take one sip of my pumpkin spice latte," Nyssa insisted. "I brought your coffee but I got an empty cup too."

She poured some of her own drink out for Malathi and handed her the small cup filled an inch deep. Ilan's mother sighed a long, peaceful sigh as the sweetness coated her tongue.

"It's like liquid gulab jamuns," she said, a groggy smile on her face. "I feel awake again." They took their time with their coffees, the single reprieve from a dreadful night that seemed to want to keep dragging on.

But when Nyssa stood to recycle their cups, she caught sight of a nurse stepping out from behind the triage desk and waving them down. She pointed and Ilan hurried to the front while Nyssa brought Malathi more slowly. A doctor then pulled them aside.

"I won't keep you in suspense," she said to Malathi. "The tests indicate your husband had a bad case of heartburn or acid reflux." Ilan felt like he lost 10 lbs just by letting his breath out, and saw the palpable relief on his mother's and friend's faces. The doctor turned back to her clipboard. "The signs are almost identical to those of a heart attack so you were right to bring him in.

"There were no abnormalities on the echocardiogram. Once we ruled out the heart, we had him do a barium swallow to check out his esophagus, really due to his age. There was nothing of note there, either." She turned back to Malathi. "Does he eat a lot of fried foods?" Ilan instantly saw an image of a vadai in his head and facepalmed himself. His mother just weakly nodded.

"It would be a great time to slow that down," the doctor said with a smile. "His liver will also thank him. He's signed his discharge papers and he's getting dressed right now."

After Ilan thanked the doctor and watched his mother step into the back area to retrieve his dad, he turned to Nyssa.

"I don't know how I can repay you for being here," he said, pulling her close in a bear hug. The clock showed two-thirty and Ilan could not have cared less about propriety at that hour. It was only when he felt Nyssa's breath on his neck that his brain reminded him that the last time they'd been together at 2:30 a.m., they'd been naked in her bed.

He instantly unhanded her at that moment in a wave of panic and guilt, despite the fact he hadn't had a hug all day and wanted to hold her longer.

"Just promise me something," Nyssa said solemnly. "The next time you're about to prosecute someone for stealing baby formula at 8 a.m., you withdraw those charges." The sheer irrelevance of the request made Ilan crack up.

"No plea deal, no nothing," Nyssa went on with a grin as he laughed. "Think about your night from hell just now and know that anyone doing that first thing in the morning had a worse night than you. Got it?" Ilan nodded. Not being able to help himself, he dragged Nyssa back to his chest.

"Ilan, your parents are watching," Nyssa whispered, hugging him back this time. But he was all out of fucks to give.

"Let them."

***********

"Dude, you're getting married tomorrow and you're here today?" Kai questioned Ilan two mornings later when he spotted him in an interview room before court convened.

"Yeah, well, I missed yesterday and I'm going to miss the next two weeks," Ilan tried to justify. The rehearsal dinner had been Tuesday night. He'd slept on and off on Wednesday, as did his parents, and as he imagined Nyssa had. The truth was, he didn't know what would be happening in the next two weeks.

Ilan had napped in his childhood bed after leaving the hospital despite Nyssa's offer to drive him back to his place in Oakville. Only when he woke up around noon Wednesday did he check his phone to about 20 texts from Priya, the first of which she'd sent at 8 a.m.