Lying by Omission

Baby, sorry, but closing and paying took longer than I thought, plus a lot of guests wanted to talk about what happened, she'd written. Then I realised I didn't know which hospital you were at. My mom said I needed my sleep because I couldn't show up at the wedding with bags un--

That's when Ilan had gingerly put his phone down on his bed before he gave into the urge to hurl it against the wall.

A hundred fucking texts now but you couldn't even send one message to ask which hospital we went to? he seethed inwardly. Quietly going downstairs because he wasn't sure if his parents had woken up yet, he was disappointed but not surprised to see his mother hadn't slept in.

"Will this convince you?" he asked her point-blank. "You heard Priya say she'd join us at the hospital. But the only people who came were your daughter and my work colleague. My law school friend, of all people, was there for you when your future daughter-in-law was sound asleep without a care in the world. Can we call this off now, Amma?"

Malathi slowly turned around as the sizzle of the masala dosa she was cooking in a cast-iron skillet remained the only sound in the room. Then she turned back around to flip the paper-thin crepe over.

"And before you answer, I want you to know I'm not asking your permission here," Ilan continued. "I'm trying to take your feelings into consideration, and I don't want to blindside you before I call Priya and split up with her."

This time, Malathi swiveled around with breakneck speed.

"It's too late, ma," she murmured, almost as a lament. "Think of both of your lives--"

"I am!" Ilan growled, unsuccessfully trying to control his volume.

"No, you're not! No one will ever marry you for doing this to her and no one will ever marry her for spending six years with you doing god-knows-what, just to end in a broken engagement! Think of all the money we'll have wasted!" She paused. "Is this about that girl last night?"

"'That girl?'" Ilan's voice dripped with umbrage. "You mean the girl who drove an hour in the middle of the night after a party she didn't even attend was over, because she thought I needed help? The girl whose shoulder you slept on for an hour, and who treated you with more love than Priya ever has? That girl, Amma?"

"I saw how you hugged her."

"And guess what? I would have hugged Priya the exact same way, and more if she actually bothered to pretend she was a part of this family! You know damn well if it were her dad who had a suspected heart attack, she would dump me in a second if I'd done what she did!"

Malathi scowled at her son, prompting him to throw his hands up in disgust. He was exhausted with this merry-go-round, knowing he'd lost simply because he and his mother didn't prioritise the same values. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Take this and go eat in your room," his father calmly told him in Tamil, as he scooped coconut chutney on a plate and handed it to him. Ilan noted the irony that the words his dad used for punishing him as a kid were a welcome pardon right now.

A few dosas later, Ilan felt better and started the drive back to Oakville. He didn't know what his father had said to his mother but he was far too fed up with this entire melodrama to call and risk another fight.

Thursday in the courthouse interview room, he hadn't heard from either of them and was tempted to tell Kai he wasn't going through with the wedding. He suspected his friend would be the first to cheer his decision, but before he could open his mouth Kai's phone buzzed.

"Sensitive case being brought up from cells?" he read the text aloud with a raised eyebrow. "Lawyer's family? If my entire clan wasn't back in Auckland, I'd be worried," he motioned to Ilan with his chin. "Come on."

"She's my niece!" the defendant shouted as the court officers unlocked the prisoner's box and guided him inside. He was a large man with a shaved head, wearing baggy cargo pants and a white t-shirt under a plaid vest.

"Check out the tattoos," Kai mumbled to Ilan. "He's not going to take a shine to either one of us, mate." Ilan saw the swastika and Confederate flag emblazoned on the defendant's arms and drew a deep breath. They stood as the justice of the peace entered the court and Kai stepped to the podium to inform her that he hadn't yet spoken to the accused.

"I don't need to talk to you or your brother over there," the defendant interrupted. "My niece is a defense lawyer and I won't participate until you bring her in to represent me." It was only then that Ilan remembered to glance down at his docket.

Chet Gallagher? he thought, puzzled. Kai's face echoed his bewilderment. This neo-Nazi lunatic is Nyssa's uncle? How the hell did she turn out the way she did? He then noticed the JP looking directly at him to say something.

"Uh, my apologies, Your Worship," he stammered while considering the options. "Under the circumstances, the Crown is willing to conduct this matter in chambers if it pleases the court. It's my understanding the attorney to whom the defendant is referring is scheduled elsewhere in the building today."

"My stance exactly, Mr. Shivanesan," the JP nodded before setting a time for him and Kai to meet her in a temporary office.

"I won't get a fair trial with those two!" Chet boomed as the officers unlocked the box to take him back down to cells. "Especially not that Muslim over there! Tell Nyssa!" The JP and officers looked unimpressed as he left, but Kai and Ilan exchanged uncomfortable glances.

For the rest of the morning, Ilan was on autopilot as he zoomed through the remaining cases on the docket. He was adept enough at his job that he could concentrate on the bails before him while still perplexed at their first case of the day.

"That's wild about Nyssa's uncle, huh?" Ilan said to Kai the second they left the building for lunch. "I hope people aren't gossiping about it. I haven't seen her today or else I'd already have let her know."

"I'm sure she knows her uncle's a Nazi," Kai said casually, "but it's a miracle she isn't. It's hard not to get indoctrinated into that shit when your close family is that deep into it." They strolled around the corner to the pizza place when it seemed Kai had a lightbulb moment.

"It might explain a couple of things, though," he went on. "At least I know she didn't turn me down for a date because of my rancid personality." Ilan snapped to attention and gave his friend a wide-eyed expression. "Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in, Mr. Engaged," Kai grinned. "She's sweet and I thought I'd shoot my shot.

"But with a family like that, it'd make sense she'd think ahead as to whether she could introduce a non-white guy to them one day." Ilan's loafer caught in the sidewalk gap and he almost tripped at the bolt of lightning that hit his brain.

Holy shit, he realised, flashing back to their budding relationship Nyssa had put to a stop all those years ago, as well as the friends-with-benefits deal he hadn't been able to stomach thereafter. But Kai was too busy thinking out loud to recognise his friend was having the epiphany of a lifetime.

"Or maybe not," he said, hitting the button for the walk signal across the intersection. "She was probably already low-contact, considering what a whack-job just the one guy is. In which case," he sighed, "she was likely honest about why she turned me down." He finally looked back at Ilan after they got through the crosswalk, oblivious as to whom he was sharing this information with.

"She told me there was some dude in law school she never got over. I thought it was weird because she said she hurt him and that didn't make any sense, but..."

Ilan didn't even hear the rest of what Kai said, trying to fight the light-headedness that was threatening to drop him in the pizzeria parking lot. He didn't remember how his lunch tasted or even how he made it through the afternoon bail session.

All he could think about was finishing up the day and getting to his car as fast as humanly possible.

***********

"How I wish... how I wish you were heeeere," Nyssa slurred, throwing her head back and over the side of her bright pink beanbag chair in her basement den. "We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fish bowwwwl... year after year!"

She hadn't drank alone since the day she found out Ilan got engaged, and she swore she wouldn't mimic the toxicity of how her parents dealt with problems. But this... this was the night before his wedding. This time tomorrow he's going to be Priya's husband, and I will have cemented the worst fuck-up of my life, she thought, setting down her third beer bottle on the floor.

But she still had enough wherewithal to have only brought down three bottles and not give into the temptation to light herself up like a Christmas tree. This was the maximum amount of sloshed she was going to allow herself to get.

After Pink Floyd faded out from her speakers, Nyssa looked up at the window wells and noticed it was past dusk. The deafening silence of the night she had tried to fill in with music and alcohol suddenly stared at her in all its nakedness, and she felt a tear roll down her face.

Then another, and another, until she was wracked with sobs she couldn't control. She'd considered telling Ilan everything six months ago when she first learned he was getting married, but what would have been the point? All she would have done was mess with his head, and she swore she'd never do that again after the first time.

She bawled into her sweatshirt, curling her legging-clad knees up to her chest. But then, the sound of a garbage bin falling over outside startled her out of her crying.

Is that a raccoon? she wondered, climbing up on a desk chair and cupping her hands over the window to try and see through the dim light. No, someone's out there. Whoever it was chose that moment to lightly rap the basement windows and Nyssa almost fell off her chair in alarm.

She wiped her face with the back of her hand and grabbed her hockey stick. It may not have been the decision she'd have come to if she wasn't three beers deep, but turning off the lights and opening the front door seemed perfectly logical at the time.

Slowly, she crept onto the porch with her stick raised in the darkness as she spotted a tall figure coming around the side of the house. But as she brought her weapon down on his head, he caught it.

"Jesus Christ, Nyss! I know I bumped into your recycling bin but you don't need to club me for it!"

"Ilan?" Nyssa's vision was hazy as she peered into his dark eyes. The alcohol wasn't helping.

"I tried the doorbell but thought maybe you didn't hear it with the loud music coming from the--whoa!" Ilan caught her around the waist as she nearly stumbled off the porch, then led her back inside. He parked the hockey stick and locked the door without unhanding her.

"What are you doing here?" she said as he switched on the lights. She took him downstairs because for some inexplicable reason, she badly wanted to be parked in her beanbag chair right then. Maybe so I don't have to hold myself up, she reasoned.

"Nyss, are you drunk?" Ilan asked with concern.

"Nahhhh, I'm just buzzed," she gave him a sloppy grin.

"How many have you--nevermind," he said, spotting the three bottles on the floor of the den. "Look, I start to get buzzed after three and I've got 40 lbs on you. This doesn't seem like you." He tried to hold her around the shoulders but she flopped onto her beanbag chair before he could get a good grip.

"Yeah... so... whaddya doing here?" she repeated as he lowered himself into her desk chair. That last beer was really starting to hit and she was contemplating if she was dreaming his presence. "Oh yeah, wait, don't you have some wedding stuff to do before tomorrow?"

"No." The short answer was not what she needed. Bemused, she just squinted at her friend. "Nyss, I called the wedding off," Ilan said softly.

"Oh." Geez, I really must be dreaming. Next thing, Lin Manuel Miranda's gonna jump out and rap about how pissed Priya is. "You--okay."

"Are you sure we can have this conversation right now, Nyssa?" Ilan asked. "Hold on, I'll be right back." She heard the front door open, then close again a minute later. In another minute he reappeared in the den with a glass of water and a delicious-smelling paper bag. "Drink it all right now," he ordered. "We're going to ply you with water and grease to mop up that booze."

"Ilan, I'm full," Nyssa complained even as she grabbed the paper bag and pushed an onion ring into her mouth, then another. "Mmmm... okay, I'm a little... mpfph..."

"Good girl," he smiled.

Despite her inability to think lucidly, Nyssa was instantly transported back to another moment when they were both in her bed. She had just finished bucking her hips right off the mattress, with Ilan's weight being the only thing that held her down.

As she'd panted and grasped the umber skin of his shoulders, he'd whispered those same words into her ear--"good girl." Ilan noticed her expression change and seemed worried again.

"What is it? Are the rings okay?"

"No, no, it's not the food," Nyssa shook her head and embarrassedly glanced down at her lap. Oh my god, he looks like a better snack than what's in this bag and I look and smell like last week's laundry. "Umm... did you just say you're not getting married tomorrow?"

"Yes." Ilan pursed his lips as he collected his thoughts. "I've noticed a lot of differences between Priya and me that didn't present themselves until we got engaged. She--I don't know if she changed or if I did, but I realised in the last few weeks that if we went through with this, we'd grow further apart very quickly." Nyssa couldn't believe this was happening.

I have to pee, she thought. But if I pee in my sleep--'cause this is definitely a dream--my mattress will be ruined so I have to wake up... have to wake up. The corners of Ilan's mouth then turned upward.

"Sweetie, are you pinching your hand behind the paper bag?" he snickered.

"Uhhhh..." she looked down at the pink skin on the back of her wrist. Ilan then rolled the desk chair closer to her.

"I'm not making this up and you're not dreaming," he said before pressing his lips to her forehead, then her flushed cheek. Nyssa's heart raced and she leapt to her feet.

"Be right back," she stammered. She cleaned herself up in the bathroom, her hands shaking as she brushed her teeth and washed her face with cold water. No time for makeup now, she wrinkled her nose at her freckles, but at least the dead vermin smell from your mouth is gone.

"I'm sorry," she apologised when she re-entered the room. "I wasn't expecting anyone tonight, least of all you so I... I swear I was going to stop at three," she weakly ended.

"Why were you getting hammered in the first place?" Ilan asked. "Let me guess--issues with some guy?" Nyssa froze. "Nyss, I know everything. Your uncle was arrested today and I know he's a white supremacist." Nyssa's hands flew to her gaping mouth.

"He was what?"

"He asked for you in court. Well, more like bellowed, but don't worry. Kai and I put a note in the file that every time he makes an appearance you're not to be paged."

"But you're not the only Crown who's going to have carriage of the file!" Nyssa was almost in tears. "And everyone will know my family is..."

"Don't," Ilan said, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't, Nyss. First of all, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not your fault, and everyone in court today was shocked that guy was related to you.

"It is not within our ability to change the people close to us, and you didn't fail because you couldn't make your family members better people." Ilan paused. "There's something else I know as well." Nyssa looked up at him, her instinct telling her this was somehow going to be worse.

"You liked me as much as I liked you back in law school, but you shut things down between us because you knew you couldn't hide me from your family forever." He took a small step closer toward her. "And I know you felt awful for hurting me, and you didn't date anyone else since then because you were hung up on me."

Nyssa's hands now covered her whole face, as though they could somehow cloak her.

"However," he put his fingers in her curly blonde hair tied back in a fat ponytail, "you don't understand how mind-blowing it is that someone like you didn't date during the best years of your life because you were stuck on someone like me. I am never going to get over that ego trip."

Nyssa started chuckling against Ilan's chest until he stopped her by covering her lips with his. She sighed against his mouth as a rush of memories flooded her brain. It was like tasting her favourite ice cream as a kid all over again after years of going without, and she wanted more.

Her body remembered as well, which she figured out when her hands travelled up Ilan's t-shirt sleeves and stroked his biceps ostensibly on their own.

"No," he broke away, visibly chagrined.

"No? But you kissed me." Ilan gave a small chuckle.

"And I shouldn't have. I mean, that's what I came here to do, to tell you that I'm yours if you're still interested. But we can't go further tonight, Nyss. You're too plastered for this."

"I am not!" she protested. "I'm Irish and there's no such thing as 'too plastered!'" She fumbled with Ilan's jeans button and he let her try to unzip him, but held her hands in his after a minute of failed attempts.

"You would have gotten my pants off by now if you weren't too plastered," he reasoned. "So not tonight." He smiled at Nyssa's frown and made her a counter-offer. "But I did bring an overnight bag just in case. I've got the next two weeks off anyway and you're definitely not going to work tomorrow. Let me stay and take care of you in case you're not well in the morning."

"Just watch, I'll be fine," she glared at him and walked toward the door to get linens for the guest bedroom, slamming her shoulder into the doorframe on her way out. "I'm fine!" she averred while holding her arm. Ilan winced but followed her upstairs with a small smirk.

He gathered at about 10 a.m. the next day when he was returning from the grocery store that she was definitely not fine. When he opened her bedroom door a crack, Nyssa was still lying under the covers but squinting.

"So you're Irish, huh?" he asked. She tucked back under her blanket like a tortoise recoiling within its shell until all he could see was a mop of blonde curls.

"I'm not even 30 yet and I can no longer handle three beers," she whined from her hiding place. Ilan sat down on the edge of the bed and twirled a golden lock around his finger, trying to suppress the memory of how Nyssa loved it when he pulled her hair as he took her from behind.

"Uh," he tried to regain his composure, "are you feeling sick at all? Because if it's just your head that's pounding, I have some dry toast and avocados downstairs." Nyssa peeked out from under her comforter, the corners of her mouth hinting upward.

"Avocado toast? Don't you know that's the main reason people our age can't pay off their student loans?"

All Ilan wanted to do was crawl into her bed with her and hold her, no groping or kissing required. But anything that happened between them was going to have to be on Nyssa's schedule. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was callous enough to jump from Priya's bed to hers. A half-hour later, he was hollowing out an avocado when Nyssa made his spoon slip.

"In another universe, you literally would have been tying the knot right now, wouldn't you?" she asked. Ilan looked at the time and nodded with mixed emotions swirling inside of him.