Lynn and Leif Forevermore Ch. 06bymich80new©
Leif surmised that he didn't live too far from Lynne. He still didn't know exactly where she lived, but he walked a few blocks west from where he'd dropped her off, to his own apartment building. It seemed difficult to believe that such a lovely creature had been living so close to him, but then again too, the city was so huge, he never saw the same folks everyday.
If it worked out well, and he thought things were going awesome, he liked the fact that she would be living so close to him. It meant he wouldn't have to travel far to see her. It also meant he could watch over her with care and concern, just to make sure she got in safely. Help her carry her groceries in if she had need, or lift some heavy things for her.
It could be dangerous for a woman alone in this city. That was, after all, one of the reasons that she had been afraid of him initially. And he still wasn't certain where she lived, he just had a rough idea. He hoped that soon, he could invite her to his place, or she could invite him to hers. Just to get to know each other, and see what happened. She seemed shy, so nothing needed to happen; but he wanted her, so, when she was ready for something to happen, that was the next logical step for him.
But, it was different than before. The thought of waking up next to the zany, bubbly, urban little creature didn't make him feel claustrophobic at all. He relished the idea of waking up with her snugly in his arms. He was actually dreaming about it now. Wondering, what the lovely creature wore to bed, if she was a wild sleeper, and even if she snored.
The sweet thoughts were soon overshadowed by the lust. Remembering those soft, scrumptious little breasts and the way they jiggled under the white t-shirt. Remembering they lovely way her ass was shaped and the way it looked when she bent over to rack her balls at the pool table.
How smooth, and soft her skin was, when he pulled her close. The way her hair smelled, like pomade, and vanilla, and almonds, all at the same time. He couldn't help smelling her hair when she'd set up the video game. She'd smelled so good. From the instant he saw her, he felt these love and lust feelings in ways he couldn't comprehend. And he'd wanted to fuck her. He still did. But he wanted something more than that now. He wanted to make love to her first. And the fucking, yes, that would come in time. He was still learning what type of woman she was, but she sure seemed shy and she needed lots of reassurance to let herself go, and be the sensual little creature he could see bubbling just beneath the surface on stage.
She made him hard, but since she wasn't around to relieve that hardness, that also made him a bit sad. He knew something in him was changing. About a month ago, he had the opportunity for some mindless fucking with a very hot blonde chick. These opportunities presented themselves fairly often because of his guitar playing with an underground up and coming band. However, this time the opportunity did not go well, as, he couldn't get it up. Even though she was pretty hot, he just, hadn't felt up to screwing her.
Frankly, this sex, without connecting to women was getting to be pretty boring to him, at the ripe old age of twenty-three.
Leif hadn't been raised with a lot of hangups about sex. His parents were hippies, and, although they married, they didn't do it until he was ten. They didn't believe they needed a conventional piece of paper to solidify their union. They actually got married for the tax benefits. They never pushed him toward marriage, they encouraged him to experiment, explore, be safe, and do his own thing. They advised him not to get married, or even date seriously until he was absolutely sure of what he was doing. Leif had their countless divorced friends to serve as an ample reminder.
So, he'd never gone the serious relationship route, never been the least bit interested in it, but he knew now, what his soul was aching for. He could see himself with that Lynne. He didn't know a lot about her, but he was learning that she was quite lovely, inside and out. He knew that in a lot of ways that she was different than him, but she had an intriguing personality, a dynamite spirit, sexy ways, and this sweet, innocent undercurrent that drove him mad.
He was so hard his balls were full and aching. It would be perfect if she were here now. She was so tiny and petite he pictured himself picking her up, throwing her down on the bed and kissing, sucking every inch of her pretty little body, the way he sucked her forehead and her cheeks, until she just groaned, and opened up to him. When she opened to him, he dreamed of licking her, and sucking her for hours.
Once again, he felt a little bit guilty, but her blackness intrigued him. She was so beautiful and exotic to him. He wondered what her fair skin looked like when she was naked. He wondered what color her sweet little nipples were, probably dusky.
Oh Jesus, his cock ached.
He wondered what her sweet little pussy juices tasted like. Did black women taste different? Maybe sweeter than other women? It certainly excited him to imagine that. He never really tasted a woman before. He definitely had wanted to try it, but somehow it was never something that he got to do with the fast and furious hookups, he was involved with before. He even had a few women, early in his sexual career, that refused him when he offered to respond in kind for the sexual oral favors they provided. Somehow he hadn't got around to giving oral pleasure to a woman, and while he was increasingly embarrassed as the years rolled on that he hadn't added it to his repertoire. He even read several tip and technique books so that he wouldn't be a loser when the time came to try to please a woman orally.
But the longer it went, the more he thought he should save those oral treats for someone special. Someone like that sweet little Lynne. He wanted her to beg, and plead, and cry, and think he was the best lover, and want to keep crawling in his arms, and bed for more, more, more. It now felt like his number one fantasy to go down on that little creature until her juices flooded his face.
That sweet, shy, nerdy little creature that had him so enthralled. He felt like he'd been a pig before, and her being so shy and reticent around him, was his comeuppance for all the crazy things that he'd done to women before Lynne.
He surely did deserve the hard time she was giving him, being so shy. Damn, she wouldn't even give him a peck on the lips as a goodbye kiss.
And he was so hard.
Even with his thoughts wandering from the sensual, thinking about the wrongs of his past, the damn hard on hadn't gone down.
He peeled off his t-shirt and his boxer briefs.
He imagined, her breasts in the t-shirt. That soft buttery skin, and the way her own pale black hand looked in his own white hand, and her full sexy lips. He could hear her giggling and even that snort when she laughed. Even the snort turned him on, Christ! He could see her pear shaped body in that tight black dress, the first time he saw her, with the long legs, and that fabulous ass.
That was all he really needed, and he was very gently rubbing his aching cock, straining so hard he could feel the veins and it felt like he was bursting out of his skin.
What was the woman doing to him, when fantasizing about her, felt better than the last few times he'd had sex with full on women. He burned with lust for her.
He was on his back, but soon that wasn't enough for him to have a satisfying climax, he rolled on his stomach, supported himself on his knees, and thrusted lightly into his hand.
It had been a long time since he'd played with himself like this, but he liked imagining that he was on top of the sweet, light carmel creature, pleasing her, satisfying her. But, when he came, the thought that drove him over the edge was imagining giving her a huge orgasm with his patient lips. Giving her the greatest pleasure she'd ever known, pleasure so deep and so strong, that she scratched at his neck, and pulled his dreadlocks.
In his dream, she even screamed that she loved him!
After he was done, he was heaving, and sweaty, and cleaned himself off with a tissue.
The sexual need for her temporarily expunged, he was still thinking about her, and he smiled, thinking about the impetuous creature, pulling him up on the stage, getting him to sing a duet with him, and how fun it had been to sing aling with her when he'd gotten over his initial nervousness and stage fright.
How much he enjoyed playing pool with her, and frogger. Sipping beers with her, enjoying her company the way he enjoyed the company of his bandmates...a first for him with a woman, enjoying her, the way he enjoyed being with his friends, but yet she was so sexy.
How cute she was, slightly tipsy when walking home. And he in no way thought less of her for drinking a little too much. He didn't mind that she was a bit of a free spirit. She should let that side show more.
Yep. He was in love alright. He didn't know how this damn love stuff was supposed to work, how long it should take, and also, how he would know when she was feeling the same thing.
Bright and early the next morning, Lynne's iPhone was vibrating. She thought it would be Janelle.
She grinned everywhere when she realized it was a text message from Leif.
He had said that he didn't believe in playing games, he liked her and wanted to continue to get to know her. She could not believe he'd texted her so soon, and it flooded her with a sense of relief, because she'd been thinking she was foolish for tossing and turning all night in bed thinking of him.
She'd just gotten some sleep, and she'd finally had to take herself there, again, this time with a favorite toy instead of her fingers...her intention to give herself a strong enough orgasm to get some sleep. And, just as before, she'd screamed Leif at her climax.
She unlocked her phone, and smiled from ear to ear at his text. He wasn't at all about hiding his feelings. He said he missed her. Since he'd been forthcoming with that she didn't feel the need to hide the fact that she thought about him all night. So she texted him this message, and his response, me too, was almost immediate. She responded that she'd had fun yesterday, and his me too was also immediate. He then sent a message about another date, this evening, at his place or hers, wherever she was the most comfortable.
She didn't know why, but although she wanted Leif, being alone with him scared her. It was too much temptation. She never felt that much passion, as much as she felt for Leif, for any real person before. What she'd felt for the ex boyfriend of hers was more like a strong affection. She didn't see that then, but she realized it now. He'd singled her out when she was about seventeen years old, and he was almost twenty three at the time. And he tried to mold her into being the kind of woman he wanted her to be.
He'd wanted her to complete his dream of having the perfect middle class wife, ready to impress his future law clients, and ready to rear children who would be strict adherents to the tenants of their religion. Even though her dad had been high up in the church, in all honesty, Lynne, while being a goody two shoes by most standards, was clearly not good enough by the standards of their faith.
She knew she wouldn't measure up, when she discovered masturbation when she was much younger. By the time she found out the views of her religion on this topic, it felt too good to stop.
After a few years, she would get over this guilt, reasoning that god wouldn't have given her ways to make her body feel so good if he didn't want her to pleasure herself while she waited for the man who would be her husband, whoever that might be.
She had quite the sexual appetite, she even ordered mail order sex toys right under her parents nose, while she still lived at home, disguising them as one of the many bundles of classic vinyl records that she also bought on eBay. But, she was always afraid of the boys in her class. She'd been taught a lot of scary things about guys outside of her church, so she never acted on any of the interest that boys showed to her- until she met Martin at a church sponsored Barbecue. Martin had had his eyes on her since she was fifteen years old, she'd later find out.
Since Martin was a nice young man, tall, chocolate colored, studying law, working on becoming a deacon in the church, and came from a family of white collar folks (his father was a dentist with a booming practice), her parents loved him. They loved him more than she had loved him at the end, because he represented a social climb. She didn't realize it then, but she realized it now. He bought her a ton of gifts, which she'd never asked for, but was flattered to receive. Flowers, candies, cards, clothes. He'd taken her car shopping when she finished undergraduate. Lynne had given the car back when she made the clean break a year ago, along with any other gifts that were tangible.
Initially, Martin spent long hours sitting on the couch, kissing her. She didn't necessarily like the way he kissed her, but it wasn't repulsive either. He just crammed his tongue so hard down her throat she couldn't breathe. She'd keep backing off from him because he'd kiss her so hard that it intimidated her. But she never stopped Martin from kissing her because it made her feel moist and tingly between her legs, and she actually wanted him to start touching her between her legs, like she felt when she was with Leif.
Since Martin was seriously courting her, her parents would allow them to visit in Lynne's room as long as the door was open. He liked being in her room. He said it made him feel close to her, and he'd play with her trinkets, and her stuffed animal collection. She caught him playing with her hairbrush and smelling her cologne, because he liked how she smelled. At times like this, she felt that he loved her.
Right before her graduation from undergrad, she'd left him in her bedroom to go to the bathroom. He was spying in her room, and found her secret pink box, filled with sex toys.
Later, he used this knowledge against her, telling her that it was not the proper way, she was spoiling herself, and ruining their future marriage. He'd also threatened to turn her in to the church elders.
He confessed his own temptations, to her, and his own struggle to keep to the strict tenants of no premarital sex. Since Lynn thought she loved him, and he loved her, she figured 'why not' when he suggested that they practice for marriage in secret and relieve some of their mutual sexual frustrations.
She was his first, and he was hers. She hadn't known any better. It was lousy, at first but like all things, she thought like all things the sex would grow better with time. Her parents, knowing that they were very serious, and that Martin was loaded with Money, turned a blind eye when he brought her home late, or even very early the next morning, as long as they didn't flaunt the sex in their faces, and used proper precautions. After all image was everything...and the church couldn't think that their little Lynne and Martin were having premarital sex.
But as Lynne and Martin started having sex, or trying to anyway, it was so damn uncomfortable to her, that she always ended up pushing him off. She was dry for one thing, when he always tried to do it to her. He'd do a cursory groping of her breasts, stick his tongue in her mouth, and he was raring to go. She supposed that because they were not supposed to be having sex before marriage anyway, in their religion (which she'd recently left), that Martin felt his foreplay was creative enough. Foreplay after all, in his mind was not the way that God intended, since it did not result in having children.
Honestly, she wasn't sure what they were doing despite their fumbling, because it never seemed deep enough, before it started to burn, and hurt. It always hurt too much and she'd asked him to stop, except the one time, he got really riled up, and pushed her down on the bed and forced himself on her. She wasn't sure how deep he really got that time, but it sure did hurt, and felt a lot deeper and worse than the other times. More than that, it hurt that she felt that she'd lost her dignity. He'd raped her plain and simple and it wasn't like some type of lovers game, where she was pretending not to want it, she really was begging him to stop, and crying her eyes out.
He'd blamed her then, for being a "sexy little tease" as he called it, and not giving him what he needed, what he would need when he was her husband. But he also apologized, saying he didn't mean to hurt her, he just wanted to be in her "deep".
She wondered if the rape was her fault somehow. Because she thought it was her fault, she kept quiet about it, and decided that rather than making it hard and painful on herself, she needed to relax, and learn how to give in to Martin's advances. After all, she'd have to do that when she was his wife. She also wondered if the painful intercourse was also her fault. Maybe women didn't really like sex, they just pretended for their husband's sake.
She was built so small, and Martin had been big. He fumbled about, but there were a few times, when he started off caressing her gently that she felt a bit warm and tingly, the same way it did when she touched herself in private, after he went to sleep. But, that only lasted a few minutes, and he always ended up being rough, groping, and making her uncomfortable, quite literally hurting her, and she wasn't a physical weakling when it came to pain.
As they continued to have sex, she finally felt emboldened enough to complain, and confess that she achieved orgasms easily on her own, and suggested that he try touching her in other ways, that's when he started calling her all sorts of vile things. He also inferred that she couldn't be pleased, because she was used to pleasing herself, which was why the bible condemned masturbation, as it stopped women responding naturally to their men. He also made no reservations about telling her that she needed to learn to "tolerate" proper sex after they were married, and no more sex toys, otherwise, she wouldn't be able to give him children.
When she thought of having children with Martin, being his perfect little "red boned princess" (a term meant to express affection about her fair skin), which was what he called her, she felt sick dread, instead of happiness. And she knew she had to get out of that relationship. Him raping her was the beginning that opened her eyes to the danger of staying with him, and how it would be a hell hole she would never be able to get out of, especially if she got married to him and got strapped down with kids. She'd never get away!
The relationship had just gotten too psychologically abusive.
So she left. Cut the cord. Moved all the way across town, and out of her parent's home, as she also had to face the truth that she didn't agree with, or believe in a lot of the teachings of the religion of her youth, especially all the ideology about male superiority. The man being the head of the house, and the ultimate rule. She'd always love her parents, but she knew when she broke up with Martin that she needed the space to start finding her own life.
She'd always been a free spirit, and lived on the edge of the rules of her parents.
It started as a young girl, going to a mostly white, private prep school. Her parents wanted to provide her with opportunities that had escaped them as children. Still, her parents were worried about her fitting in, because she was black, not of a mainstream religious faith, and the Millers had made their considerable money blue collar style.
Her father stared out driving as a cabbie, bought his own cab, and slowly worked his way to owning a large fleet of taxi cabs in the city, replete with his own drivers wearing red bell hop styled uniforms. She was different than her classmates, the daughters of well to do businessmen, lawyers and doctors. The Millers had money, but there's was a blue collar wealth, often looked down upon by white collar professionals. They worried about Lynne making friends.