Lynx Ch. 01

Lynx 01

So, hey there my peeps, I'm Lynx and it's not because I have two funky and pointy flare outs in the front of my hair as much as it is because I've always liked how lynx was spelled. And I have pointy flips that completely surround my entire face. Other than that, I'm as close to care free as can be, I've learned where and when to be somewhere, I have the luxury of having a few people that I can actually call friends and I'm available. And if it matters, I've always been available and you can read between the lines from there.

But occasionally bumping hips and booties is cool too, right?

Except for if being paid two times for food that wasn't asked for by having paper stuffed into my back pocket counts as being sexually active????

[Turns off the comments area on blog page]

Well, it was one time before where my story starts, but my story makes two times and since none of you are dropping corrective comments, then hey there, I'm Lynx and I am sexually active. And I liked it! And since there are no "calling out" comments, then we all agree that even a quick pat, followed by a slow slip downwards and a depository squeeze counts as sex. The end.

[Turns blog comments area back on after ten minutes]

Anyways, as I mentioned above, I do not have a Scarlett Letter across my chest, so I do have visitors once in a while and even though I cheat a little bit, it still counts that I've been a secondary mixer host twice, with great success.

Well, it was one time before where my story starts, but my story makes two times, but what I learned from the first time was that the guy across the street hosted game watches and that if you figured out the college football schedule and then bought an extra tray of spicy wings and things from the Deli, then you're in the loop!

Well, I photo texted this guy named Buzz with the extra tray of wings and things and then this guy named Buzz made a loop from Maury's house to my place across the street to grab the extra wings and things and then looped back to the game watch gathering, but there was a loop and I was involved in that loop, so it still counts as me being in the loop. The end.

[Turns blog page comments area back off]

So, for my second time, I mean, build it and voila, they will come worked so well the first time that I went all out for what I understand was called conference championship Saturday recently and I went all out by adding a box of beer and a thingy of wine coolers to the extra of spicy wings and things and then photo texted all of that to this guy named Buzz and this girl named Marcia after I had spied both of them arriving at Maury's place. Separately, they arrived separately because this guy named Buzz and this girl that I kind of know named Marcia, are not a couple.

And I wanted at least two people to make the food and beverage loop, which we already agreed made me officially in the loop, so, well, so, what?

[Blocks meanie Anonbackwaterjack023 from comments area]

And so, what if I relished in how casually and slowly this guy named Buzz and this girl named Marcia strolled across the street? I had neighbors who needed to see that I was in loop of things because people who are in the loop have visitors and that must be written somewhere, so, um, just read on and never mind anything else then.

"Hi, Marcia, hi, Buzz, um, Marcia, the two containers of beverages are in my refrigerator and I bought the good stuff, meaning that each carrying container has a handle so you could easily handle carrying both of the boxes while Buzz manhandles the wings and things trays, so."

I mean, it was a delicate balance of one for each hand, right? And it doesn't matter that Marcia just so happens to be my target booty model. All that mattered was that I had my booty worked into shape about 83.21% of my target and even the best artist and sculptors refer back to their original subjects from time to time, so having Marcia retrieve the beverages from the lower shelf of the refrigerator was totally legit.

Well, 75% legit and 25% naughty, but voila, put the beverages on the lower shelf and whoop, there it is, my best possible booty model!

Oh, I'm off track.

Anyways, just to be clear, my 16.79% open booty goal size and shape is in the downward direction and it's only in the smoothing and shape of the transitional lines from a silhouette viewpoint and nothing else. I do not have nor will I ever have a bubble butt.

[Unlocks sideways silhouette photo on Chang page for ten minutes only]

"Um, listen, Lynx, I can't believe this, but I need to know something about something and it's something that you shouldn't know about, but somehow I have the feeling that you might know all about this something since you traded teams, so?"

Well, that narrows it down to nothing or absolutely everything, right? And that was a lot of somethings, which gave me something to think about. Like what the hell was Buzz babbling about!

"Well, Buzz, be quick about your babbling about something because Marcia won't take all that long to rummage through and check out my bedroom since she already snuck away from the kitchen, so? And try to keep your response to no more than two somethings."

"Fine, Lynx, you shouldn't know so much something about fingernail polish since how you were born, but you paint your nails like a girl all the time, so, I mean, as Marcia and I walked across the street, I mean, the whole time, we were talking, but she kept waving her left hand around like she was having an episode or a stroke or something and that worried me, but then I thought that maybe that was how girls air dried their fingernail polish, so, well, what's the story on that then, Lynx? You must know a little something about these things, so?"

[Locks up risqué sideways silhouette photo on Chang page]

"Oh, Buzz, I mean, Marcia was not having an episode of sorts or even waving her left hand wildly and often in the air trying to dry her nail polish as the two of you strolled across the street together, but rather she was flashing, flashing I say, Buzz, that her ring finger is naked, so?"

"Oh, boy, Lynx, linking Marcia and naked together is the dream. Um, you shouldn't know about these things, but what's my best move then, huh, Lynx?"

"Oh, Buzz, this is just me talking, but I think you should march right over to Marcia right now and back step her into my laundry room for a little privacy and make it clear to her that you're upset that she might be flashing her naked ring finger around today at the game watch party because normal people notice and pick up on that sort of thing and tell her right now that you have every intention of visiting the Promise Ring Shop on the Strip tomorrow and picking her out a promise ring! And again, this is just me talking here, Buzz, but then you should put your foot down and make it clear to Marcia that she has been spoken for and that any bathroom sink and mirror booty selfies must be taken today before her naked ring finger isn't naked anymore! Tee he, and then you can tell Marcia that I thoroughly cleaned and sanitized my bathroom sink counter top and mirror just this morning, so?"

"Oh, good call, Lynx, wait, what?"

"I mean, Marcia has my perfect target booty, Buzz and I'm 83.21% there, so, don't take this away from me now because I need my booty sculpturing model portrait to achieve my goal, tee he, so?"

[Unlocks the other risqué, yet filtered, sideways silhouette photo on Chang page]

"Well, if this works, what will I owe you in trade then, Lynx, huh?"

"Hold that thought, Buzz. I'll take the wings and things across the street for even more privacy while you screw things up with Marcia, so, um, well, what is Maury wearing today, hmm? What's his game day outfit look like, hmm? And what team should I vote for to win online, hmm?"

[Um, there is no voting to "win" in college football. They play the game!]

"Oh, um, that's not really how it works in football, Lynx, but we like the blue jerseys today. And Maury is wearing, um, something and then something else and something on his feet, so, um, I mean, can you even carry the tray of wings, Lynx?"

Hah! Well, I made it anyways. With 93% of the wings and things, but the birds need to eat too, right?

And it was 93% because I texted Maury in advance and asked him to meet me at his door and since he is such a gentleman, he, LOL, saw that a disaster was stumbling across the street and met me halfway in the street to avoid any further accidents. And Mark followed him. Which was not a part of my plan, but whatever. I mean, I was actually making the loop and that's something, right?

"I mean, Lynx, I know this is only the second time, but you've spoiled us now and we were almost sort of worried that you weren't in the loop with the juicy wings this time, so."

"Mark, they're spicy wings and things, but I suppose they are juicy too. Also, hey, Maury."

"[Nods head] Lynx, thanks for linking up my game watch party with extra food, so, um, where are Buzz and Marcia then, huh?"

Ahem, I slipped right in between both guys as we walked the rest of the very short distance and if that doesn't say that I'm sexually active, then nothing does! Tall, short, taller! It was a perfect view.

[Turns off comments area on blog page]

"Oh, by now, Buzz has probably stumbled around with his words enough that Marcia is probably swirling different things in her head about how maybe a naked ring finger isn't the worse thing in the world, so?"

"Well, that tracks, um, also, Lynx, that's the other kind of football jersey, but tee he, everybody likes jammies since it hangs on you like jammies, so?"

Well, at least it was the right color. Not to mention that Maury just softly said that he likes me jammies.

[Checks to make sure the comments area is still on lock]

And if he goes snooping around in a heated embrace later, well, activewear shorts are sports related and I'm slim enough to pull those off. They also provide a very good model for how I want my middle transition to end up when I'm not wearing activewear.

[Turns on comments area because it's important to know that a perfect silhouette, yet smaller shape is as desirable as a bigger booty and needs to hear that from others]

Oh, and to clear the air about Maury, he's straight8 and I'm not on his wing's day menu, so, um, well, I'm looking up the wrong tree, but he brings a certain calmness with him and I know he will reject me in a kind way. Oh, and I've been working on my voice for years, so, I can't bark these days, that's why I'm not saying that I'm barking up the wrong tree. And Lynx's squeal anyways, so.

[Ooh, the first time inside of Maury's house! That he knew about]

"Um, are you looking for something, Lynx?"

[Head on a swivel]

"Oh, I'm just glancing around your house, Maury, I mean, for someone who is considered as being in the loop, I mean, I've never been inside of your place before, so, is your laundry room behind the kitchen then, hmm? You have a juicy and spicy spot of red on your t-shirt from carrying the tray of wings, so? And you can change in privacy while I make a loop around the living room and say "hey" to the others, so?"

Well, that red spot could have been from last year, but he followed directions. And I tried to make a loop around the living room at lightning speed and that didn't work. But having the others say "hey" back to me means I'm popular, right? And ahem, Maury followed my directions, so.

[Short circuits the blog comments page area]

"(Psst! You have him where you want him, so what are waiting for, Lynx? An invitation or something? Go.)"

OMG, again with the something, right? But I took Tammy's advice and slithered away from the game watch gathering of people and into the laundry area. Lynx's slither towards their prey, right? And stealth slithering isn't stalking, right? Not that I can blend into the wall paint at any mixer.

"Oh, you're not finished changing your logo college t-shirt yet then, Maury, hmm? What's this?"

[Poke, poke, poke]

"Um, just my bare chest, Lynx, so, what's happening here, huh?"

[A little shuffling, that's what's happening. A shuffle here and a shuffle there. You know, just a little shuffling]

"Oh, I'm lining our shoe toes up so that they touch, toes to toes, which leaves a little space between our lower bodies, so, that's not embracing and then I've placed my two flat hands on your chest with bent elbows, so, that's space between our upper torso's, which also doesn't qualify as an embrace, and all that leaves our lips at a certain angle to each other and then I'm leaving the rest up to you, Maury, so?"

Um, let's see then, awkward, right? It's spelled A W K W A R D, right? And I squeaked that out since I can't bark anymore these days.

Anyways, I prepared to leave the game watch mixer since I failed at that Vini, Vidi, Vici thing, so, um, Vini, Vidi, Vici, minus the Vici, I guess.

[Weep, incoming photo text]

"Share this photo with anyone & I'll kill you, pervert!"

"*Photo attachment*"

Well, even the best sculptors and artist use models and props for their work, so. Also, SOB! Maybe I'm only 76.12% of the way there since, OMG, bathroom booty selfies rule! And clean mirrors help. Actually, ahem, they are a must people!

[Weep, incoming they just keep coming text]

"I wore a G-string 2nite, so I hope that kills you!"

[Weep, yet another incoming follow-up text]

"If U picked out my promise ring, I'll kill you!"

[Weep, they just keep coming incoming text]

"If my promise ring isn't a gemstone, I'll kill you!"

Well, I always wondered how I might die, so.

[Weep, they are still incoming]

"I won't kill U if you "accidently" leak my photo."

[Whoop, finally, a chance to respond]

"Send the topless version with back turned!"

[Weep, I'm called out incoming response text]

"No way, pervert."

[Weep, LOL, they just can't resist incoming text]

"*Photo attached*"

Bare backs are very sexy.

[A set of prying eyes over shoulder because cell phones are really distractive]

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, yum] these juicy wings are the best, Lynx and so is that ooh la, la photo of Marcia that you're staring at [munch, yum, yum, slop, juicy slop], I mean, she realizes that there are two mirrors, right [yum, yum for that too]?"

"Hush, Junior, Marcia is a "spoken for woman" now and it's normal to capture a "this is what you're missing photo" for after the breakup. And I didn't set it up that way, tee he. And grab a napkin for Pete's sakes. But I'm glad that you're enjoying the spicy and juicy wings, so?"

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop] you look good in a soccer jersey miniskirt, Lynx. And don't kill me or something if I say that your legs are looking pretty spicy and juicy this afternoon [munch, yum, yum, slop, juicy slop] and I wouldn't mind making the loop for the spicy wings in a couple of weeks for the playoff games, so?"

Hah! Junior so didn't mean that! Right? He works at the muffler shop and the word is that he cuts the muffler pipes to size with his teeth, so.

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop] also, Tammy and Lydia are bouncing across the street to your place since they heard there were wine coolers or something over..."

[Whoop, emergency 411 outgoing text]

"Intruder alert, intruder alert, Marcia!"

Well, I don't know how two people make bad decisions about becoming a couple, so. But somehow, I just couldn't envision Buzz being the one on bent knees proposing the promise, so, I sent an intruder alert text.

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop] which will leave you here alone with five guys, Lynx. You know, seemingly naked under your jammies sleeper sports mini [munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop], so?"

Huh, that sounded like a clue, right? Or a warning, either way.

"You know that I can call you out for those types of tendencies, right, Junior? And it's just four of your beer-soaked horny faggots because Maury clearly just put me in my place, which is the curb, so?"

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop] oh, we're guys, Lynx and we'll survive the trash talk of your calling us out for all of us blowing your back teeth out [munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop], so?"

Well, whoever invented the double standard shouldn't have. Also, gulp! Oh, and the person who keeps saying that it's just meme material and not a gang banging circle, well, that person was clearly never alone with a handful of guys on sports day.

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop] fine, four of us will survive the trash talk since Maury has firmly placed your butt on the curb. And speaking of that, what's your booty shape percentage these days, huh? Frank has been spanking over it since you last posted your 77% complete silhouette selfie [munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop], so?"

Well, that's such a waste since my currently booty size and shape is close enough to be spanked and yanked over in person, you know, since I'm so sexually active and frisky. Um, frisky like a Lynx!

[Stabs a screwdriver in the comments "on/off" tab]

But I'm sure Franky does not do that anyways. Unless he really likes how I refer to Frank as Franky since the first time we met. Well, since the second time we met. I'm terrible at everything the first time!

Except for sex! Because I'm a Lynx!

[Twists the screwdriver around in a circle to permanently turn off the comments "on/off" tab]

But as the one who always plays fair and always gives the benefit of the doubt, I mean, I refreshed his plate of spicy and juicy wings. And I plopped down right next to him. Except for Franky was sitting in the arm chair, so I plopped down on the arm. In my sports jammies mini because that's how sex starts!

[Checks to see that the comments "on/off" tab is still sparking and sizzling fire from the screwdriver]

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop] (psst, are you joining me in the bathroom in a minute, Lynx [munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop], huh?"

"(Psst, no, Franky, eat your wings and watch the game and don't even think about touching me with those sticky red fingers."

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop] (psst, it's just spicing hand lube, Lynx and I promise to be quick [munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop], huh?"

"(Psst, Franky, why would you whack off over my booty when you could feed me the spicy sauce the other way, hmm?"

"[Munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop] (psst, wait, what? [munch, slop, munch, yum, yum, slop]?"

"(Psst, tee he, sorry, Franky, I was teasing you. Eat your wings and watch the game, bye."

[A reach down as a support method to lift off the arm of the arm chair and huh, teasing works]

"Bye, guys, my time here is definitely finished. And we're going back to the original way of handing off the extra tray of wings next time, if there is a next time."

I mean, seriously, it was like "munch, slop, aha, aha, munch, yum, yum, aha, aha, munch, slop" amongst all of them and although I'm looking forward to a meaningful relationship someday, a game day watch party circle isn't that!

[Desperately tries to fix the comments "on/off" tab to see the supportive comments that a gang banging is not the same as a meaningful relationship]

"Oh, but first, ahem, some certain home owner and watch party host owes me $30 for the trays of wings and things and the payment can be made in the kitchen, so?"

Well, Maury may have put me on the curb, but I was getting my paper and my goodbye. Also, I spied a couple of bananas on the kitchen counter top and I was taking them.

"Lynx, I mean, um, here, here's the paper that we owe you."

[Tries the old standard "friend's zone" hand off method of food payment, hah]

[Oh, and there is the old shuffling routine in response]

[But damn, there were no rear deposit windows in the sports jammies mini jersey!]

"Oh, shoot, um, damn, well, I'm wearing activewear shorts under my jersey, Maury, so, pay me like you pay the Strippers down at Hilda's Hideaway Strip Club then, maybe, if you want, so?"