Madd Mack's Love Cruise Ch. 01

"Liz, you passed!" Maddi seems happy about it.

Next is the cutie Madeline's got her eyes on. He draws a dare and reads out loud, "Kiss the player to your left for ten seconds."

Madeline lets out a little squeak and I'm certain she's blushing, though I can't see her face since he's standing between us. He asks, "Is that okay with you?"

I lean back so I can see my sister as she nods her head, her cheeks are a rosy pink. "Yeah," She manages to say, but it's barely audible.

He takes her hands in his and holds them as he brings his lips down on Madeline's. The rest of us start to count, "One...two...three..." Madeline leans into him, and I suddenly feel like I'm witnessing a really intimate moment in my sister's life, one I shouldn't be part of. "Four...five...six..." I wonder if Madeline felt this awkward watching Sean kiss me, or is it because she's my little sister and I feel protective of her? "Seven...eight..." It's probably because our mom died when Madeline was only four, I was nine, and I became more than just a big sister; I was her sister-mommy. "Nine...ten!" I'm relieved it's over.

"I'm Mason, by the way," He lifts one of her hands to his mouth and brushes a kiss on the back of it.

"I'm Madeline," She replies bashfully.

"You're up, Madeline," Maddi breaks up their eye-fuck session, and I, for one, am glad. "Are you ready?"

Mads nods, "I'm so ready." She draws a card and her expression darkens.

My stomach drops. Oh no. What did she get?

"Lick the bottom of a shoe?" She looks over at Maddi, possibly hoping she would tell her that was a joke card and she doesn't have to do it. When her idol doesn't come to her rescue, she looks like she might cry.

"It's okay, Mads," I speak up, "It's gross, but better than what's in those." I point at the cups, reminding her of her only other option.

Madeline crosses her arms, and I know before she speaks that she's already made up her mind. "No, I can't. Liz, you know I can't." She shrugs, her face defeated. "I'm out."

"Are you absolutely sure?" Maddi double-checks.

A single tear runs down Madeline's cheek and I go to her side. She nods, "I'm sure." I hug her around the waist as Maddi Macklin moves on to the final player, the twerking girl, who says her name is Taylor. I wipe the tear from Madeline's face and whisper in her ear, "It's okay. I wouldn't have done that either. We can leave right now, if that's what you want to do."

"No," Madeline shakes her head, turning to look me in the eyes. "No, you're not going anywhere. I'm going home. You're going to get a spot on the cruise."

"We don't know that yet," I try and stay positive, which is supposed to be Madeline's job. "There could be another round."

There's a collective groan from the other players, and I turn to see Taylor putting her shoe back on, a shit-eating grinning on her face. She shrugs, looking like she gives zero fucks that she just licked the bottom of her own shoe. She picks up her second dare and laughs a bit maniacally, "You guys, this dare was made for me."

She turns around, sticks out her ass, and moons us! She shakes her ass cheeks back and forth, and then up and down. She gives it a couple slaps for good measure and then pulls up her bikini bottoms and sarong. She holds her arms up in triumph, whooping excitedly.

Kaitlyn hands Maddi a clipboard, which she glances at before addressing the rest of us. "All right, so at the end of the round, nine of you passed, and seven of you failed. I was hoping we would have time for another round of dares for those of you who didn't complete yours, but the ship is set to leave the port in exactly twenty minutes and we just don't have time. I wish I could bring along all of you! The ship is almost at maximum capacity though, so I can't do that. If I say your name, you are officially being invited to board my Love Cruise!" She pauses for dramatic effect, and I grab Madeline's hand and squeeze it comfortingly. "Lucas, Damien, Gia, Paris, Sean, Levi, Liz," Madeline squeezes my hand tightly, "Mason, and Taylor. Everyone else, I'm so sorry, you are all amazing, and the next big bash I throw, you are all getting an invite!"

I immediately turn to Madeline and tell her, "I don't have to go. Really, Mads. I don't mind at all. I'll ask Maddi if she'll take you in my place. This was your idea, and I can't take this from you."

"Stop," Madeline says, a bit sourly, "Don't do that. You always do that. I'm not happy you won and I lost, but I'm not going to let you throw away this chance because you feel sorry for me. You're going on this trip. You deserve it, Liz. Don't worry about me."

"Are you sure?" I ask, "You're not just saying that to be nice? If I go and you hate me for it, I'll never forgive myself."

"Shut up," Madeline rolls her eyes. "I can't be happy right now, but I promise I'll be happy for you when you get back. Now, give me your car keys. I have a long drive back home."

"Mads..." I'm so torn. I don't know what to do.

Madeline hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek. "Have fun. For me, okay?"

"Okay," I agree. It will be sad not to have my sister with me, but I can't really turn down a free vacation, not when she's given me her blessing.

She holds her hands out for the keys.

1.3Syd

Maddi's talked me into helping with her welcome speech, now that she's given away the final boarding passes to the winners of her mini-competition and all the passengers are on board. I'm not sure what I agreed to, but I know it involves a hundred strangers staring at me while I presumably embarrass myself. Except, all these people are here for Maddi, so maybe I don't need to worry about that? Most likely, all eyes will be on her and I'll become part of the background. Maybe all I have to do is stand around and hold Maddi's clipboard? That would be ideal.

It's not that I hate attention; in fact, I used to love it. I craved it, really, because I wasn't getting enough of it at home. As a teen, I knew my parents loved me, and I got along with my siblings, for the most part, but I always felt like I was an after-thought. It's hard to explain, but I convinced myself my very existence was an inconvenience to my family, and I just wanted to be seen, to be appreciated, to be loved. That's when I started hanging out with boys. They gave me attention, and they promised to love me, but I always had to do something in return, and then they never kept up their end of the deal. When I got pregnant with Theo, I had already built a reputation for being...promiscuous, and that's putting it nicely. A rumor spread that I slept with so many guys I didn't know who my baby's father was. It wasn't true, I know exactly who Theo's father is, but the lie is always more interesting than the truth, and it's all people wanted to believe. It got back to my parents, and the disgust and resentment on their faces absolutely shattered me. I could have handled if they were simply disappointed, but it was so much more than that; they were ashamed of me for being their daughter. I hated myself.

When I gave birth to my son, and the doctor placed Theo on my chest and told me to meet my son, I cried. I thought my heart might burst, because I loved him so much, even wrinkly and red-faced and angry, and I realized he'd healed my heart. I couldn't hate myself, not when I had an infant who needed me to be strong and show him how to love himself, so he can grow up and know his worth and never settle for less. It didn't matter to me anymore, what my parents thought of me, because I had this perfect baby boy who I will love forever, and I will never let him doubt it.

I thought it didn't matter what Mom and Dad think, that is. Obviously now, after that 'don't get carried away' comment by dad, and the fact that I'm feeling ashamed about things I haven't even done proves I do still care what they think about me. It's ridiculous! I was seventeen then, I'm nearly twenty-two now. I'm an actual adult. Even if I wanted to get buck-wild on Maddi's Love Cruise, which I don't, I should be able to do so without worrying about judgements from my parents! I haven't even had sex since before I had Theo, that's how much they screwed me up. It literally took me years to masturbate again, after the shaming I was given, because I thought wanting to orgasm was wrong and dirty! Even now, I'll sometimes catch myself, when I'm close to self-climax, feeling ashamed by what I'm doing and reminded of painful comments my parents said to me when I was seventeen. I wish I could forget, wipe my memory clean of those hateful words, and maybe I could finally move on and have a healthy relationship with a guy, for the first time in my life.

Who knows? Maybe after all my doubts about my little sister's Love Cruise, I'll actually meet someone worthwhile? Probably not. But at least I can try and have some fun without hating myself for it after. I think I, at the very least, can manage to do that.