Maggie Might 01

Maggie Might 01

My unsuspecting friend, Danny, had no idea that he was going to have a special guest at his Halloween party this year. He probably thought that by inviting me, I would be in just another store-bought costume mingling about his house. It's true that I bought my costume at a Halloween pop up store, but I was not going to be Deadpool or Ironman hanging around, trying to figure out how to sip a beer through a face mask that was never designed to sip any liquids.

Hi. I'm Maggie Might and I have 99 problems with fem role playing and I'm not even trying to get help. Well, not for at least the next couple of years anyways.

If all goes well at Danny's party, I Maggie Might be able to reduce my problems down to 98 if I can pull this off and not get faced punched which would mean that I would have to go back to having 99 fem role playing problems.

And I'm not even shamed to admit that I selected a kitty cat costume from the teenager section. It's a Wild Cat costume and it came with a trendy nylon net tutu skirt that fit over the bottom of the leopard print dress and a tail was included. It was the dress that sold me. It covers my belly and doesn't require boobs the size of Wisconsin to fill it out. Plus, the dress has two cute leopard print bow ties attached to each of the shoulder straps and by that, I mean concentrate on the bows and not my flat chest please.

I had to buy a kitty cat mask separately, but the Wild Cat costume kit did come with fingerless glove sleeves, a choker collar, a cat ears headband and capri style tights, which they called footless tights which means I don't know what the difference is and I didn't care just as long as most of my legs were covered.

After I tried it on and fooled around with it for a while, I really liked it. I'm going to need some help with making the tip of my nose black and with getting the whiskers painted on just right, but after that, I'll be ready to go.

Because I was so desperate to post a few selfies on Chang, I had to break my fem role playing silence and ask my friend Natalie for help. And just in case she was going to need a few minutes to get a grasp on my secret life, I ordered us a couple of Greek Salads to eat while she worked out things her in mind. In other words, when she shows up at my door, I will be in full uniform, minus the black nose and whiskers. I mean, she needs to know what's she's working on, right? And thanks to the multiple Halloween costume websites, I will be able to pull up many photo examples to help her out. I mean, I'm doing everything I can right?

To my amazement, Natalie barely flinched. She gave me the initial big eyes at first, but she quickly followed that up with something about my secret is not that big of a secret anyways. Which really surprised me because I have never been outside of my house as Maggie Might. LOL, to which she replied to with a "it's your mannerisms" and things like that.

Thankfully, as she walked past me through the front door and as she patted my cheek, she said that it's more than likely only something that girls would pick up on and that she would keep my secret until I let my secret out.

And before I go on, let me say that if the costume kit makers would have included leopard print tights instead of black, I would have worn them.

What I didn't think about was that Natalie would finish the tip of my nose and cheek whiskers so quickly, which meant I gave her too much time to grill me while we ate out salads. And when I say grill me, I mean she didn't accept any fluffy answers. She dug down deep and wanted to know exactly what I have done and where I have been as Maggie Might. I'm not sure she believed me, but my responses were easy. Other than my secret Chang account, I've been nowhere and I've done nothing. Which led her to ask a lot of questions about what I hope to accomplish by attending Danny's Halloween party dressed up as Wild Cat girl.

LOL, I asked her to concentrate on the cute bows attached to the shoulder straps of my dress and that she wouldn't remember anything when I snapped my fingers. Right after that stupid little trick, she flicked a black olive slice from her salad at my face and told me to pose while she whipped off a few photos for my homepage.

The photos were her little trick. I think she knew that by capturing my image and reviewing them with me then I Maggie Might open up about what my intentions were. I tried that "hey, it's Halloween" excuse and that went nowhere because she didn't even blink as she stared at me. I tried switching over to that "no one will know it's me" line and she replied with maybe, as long as I stood in the far corner and didn't mingle with anyone.

I finally let out that I was born with a girl's nose and I've always been teased about being pretty like a lady and then she patted me on the cheek again and thanked me for being honest.

That's when she took me to a local lingerie store because she was convinced that I could wear a strapless bra under my dress to at least show that I was wearing something. That's when I said that there are more bra choices and styles than all of the people that lived in North Dakota. I apparently said that out loud because she told me to shut it and stop embarrassing her.

And I'll be damned, she found a strapless bra that was very small and had seams on the cups that appeared to help keep its shape and she took my hint that we might as well buy a black one and an animal print one while we were here, you know, just in case.

And then, LOL, she had to pull me out of the store because after a few minutes of becoming comfortable in the store, I was like a kid in candy store! She clearly had to go to work and I clearly knew where I would be returning too someday. I'm not certain id Maggie Might will look good in fishnets, but I Maggie Might find out pretty soon.

So, I had an entire costume and I liked the way it fit me and looked on me. I mean, it's kind of kitty cat sexy, but with minimum exposure of skin. That was the good news. The bad news was that posting stuff on Chang is one thing and actually parking down the street from Danny's house is an entirely different thing all together. I sat in my SUV and couldn't get the police PSA TV commercial out of my mind, you know, the one that says once you pull the trigger, you can not take that bullet back. And the moment I open my SUV and placed my flats on the ground, I will never be able to take my attendance at this party back.

I apparently got over that PSA problem because not only did I step out of my SUV, I used the reflection from the window to check out how I looked. Oh, by the way costume makers, cool job with the tail. I thought it Maggie Might bend as I drove over here, but it bounced right back! And then I realized that the tail had a similar angle, look and spring to it like some of the dick pics my lurkers send me. And then I got back into my SUV and convinced myself to not throw up.

But I reminded myself that my plan to be one of the first to arrive was a good idea and it would be better if I were stuck to the wall in the far corner looking at the front door rather than being the one entering through the front door with 20 people looking to see who was arriving next. Plus, it only seemed fair to give Danny warning of what I was doing, you know, so he doesn't throw up in front of his party guests.

"I'm sorry Danny, but it's Halloween so I can get away with it and no one will no who I am anyways. OMG, are you going to throw up?"

"Ah, no Mark, I was a little shocked and swallowed about 15 Chicken bones."

"Maggie. Maggie Might. So, should I leave or may I stay?"

"Hah, you're not leaving. Just mingle around and enjoy the party."

"Thank you, but listen, I'm going to make the best out of tonight as I can, but it might help if I stay busy. What can I do for the party to keep me from getting groped in the far corner?"

"I'll tell you what, why don't you hang out behind the keg table for a while. You know, pump the pump, squeeze the nozzle and watch the ice level in the barrel. Take an hour or so and let things settle in. So, Maggie Might, is this a Halloween thing, a thing I don't know about or our you looking for a boyfriend?"

"LOL, I'm not looking for a boyfriend and let's hold all other questions until the end of the presentation. I'll be behind the beer table if you need me."

That was actually a good idea from Danny. I have a little space and a table between me and the other costumed guests, yet I am visible to all. I'll take that. LOL, not to mention being the VIP of the party because of that keg control thing.

I even upped my game by shoving the books on the wall book shelf behind to one side so I had some empty shelf space to work with. And what I mean by that is I found a black Sharpie and made stacks of six plastic cups on the shelf. And that's right, I marked each stack of six cups with the guest's names on them. Not only would I be able to keep count of who is drinking how much, I could role play that Star Bucks thing and make funny comments on the cups. You know, like "loose as goose Luci" and "stand you up Stanley" and so on. I mean, I might get face punched by an angry straight guy who can't handle it when a guy dresses up like a girl, so what's the worse that could happen? I mean, is "slutty Sally" really going to deny it?

"Hey, I'll a couple of beers, your phone number and your GPS info, babe."

"Back off Buckeye. What's your dates name?"

"Ah, Terri, why?"

"Two beers fresh out of the germ invested nozzle. One for Blue Balls Buckeye and one for "toothless Terri" and by the way, why Terri?"

"Damn girl, do you know something that I don't know?"

"Hah, I know girls do things with you, but you can't hang in there long enough to let them finish. It's the drugs Buckeye. Grow up and go get dumped."

So far, so good because I thought for sure that Buckeye would be one of those angry guys. It turns that his drug problem is worse than I thought because when he asked me where my phone number was, I told it was written on the bottom of the cup. Yup, he turned the cup upside down to see if that was true and yup, his next refill was counted as his second beer. And no, clean ups on Aisle 2 are not in my job description.

"Hey, Connie QT, hey girl. Need a beer?"

"Hey, what's this I hear from Danny? You're some kind of Maggie Might who Maggie Might want a boyfriend? Was it that bad when I lip locked you last month? I mean, we had sex, right?"

"Well, ah, yeah we had sex. I jack hammered you, remember? But never mind how you said I was your best partner ever right now. Who are you here with?"

"Duh, whoever I want to be with, but I'm with Louie between 9 pm and 10 pm, why?"

"Here, a beer for "cunningly cute Connie QT" and one for "Louie the loser", fresh out of the virus invested nozzle."

"Thanks Maggie Might, so I Maggie Might be free between 10 pm and 10:30 pm if you get a break."

"Well, I would always be available for you, but right now I think you supposed to dump Louie and hang out with Billy, you know, Billy with a boner."

"Damn girl, do you know something I don't?"

"Hah, I know that Billy slipped me a note that said you should "accidently" spill your drink on Louie so he has to excuse himself for at least 20 minutes. Billy wants to slip you a little something."

Well, I had a few more things to talk to her about, but she had other plans, I guess. And by the way, later tonight if I get a chance I will explain to her what "accidently" means as opposed to a fast ball down the middle. I say later because I can see that Billy is trying to slip her a few things, so my explanations can wait.

"Hook up us please."

"Coming up. One for "bad ass Bert" and one for, well, you have to say her name, right? Ah, I'm waiting and you know the rules."

"OMG, one for Didi Freckles already. Damn this girl is a lot of trouble for a simple party date."

"Thank you. One sanitized and non-spiked beer for "Didi Freckles" and my phone number is not for you, bad ass Bert. Now, will you be screaming her name later? I'll be listening."

My attendance at this party is going better than I thought it would. I know my socializing is pretty light, but I'm talking to people, I think I'm flirting and not one single punch yet. In other words, best party ever and in the best kitty cat costume ever, for me anyways, LOL.

"Hey Maggie Might, how's it going? You're getting a lot attention you."

"Hence, the line of thirsty people, right? This was a good idea you had Danny."

"Ah, some thirsty, some horny and some curious. So, are you drinking enough so that you will not be able to drive and you'll pass out in my bed? I'm asking for a friend."

"Hah, the horny line is to the left, but thanks for the ego boost. Here, one cold beer for "dynamite Danny" and what just Maggie Might happen if I were to, you know, pass out in your bed tonight? And by the way, that is a question from a friend, not what's going to happen."

"Well, if your "friend" is all that curious, then she should have a few shots of Raspberry Vodka. Keep up the good work, Maggie Might."

Huh, isn't is funny how alcohol drives away most memories of who people are and their inhibitions? I mean, Danny and I play video together, not sleep together.

"Beer, Beer Wench!"

"Excuse me!!!!"

"Oops, sorry, two beers please."

"Oh, I have your disease filled beers Curtis. Are you with Betsy tonight?"

"Shoot, she can't live without me. I'm her solid. Now, hurry with those beers and hush yourself."

"One warm and heavily spiked beer for "Curt the cunt" and a fresh nozzle pour for "blind Betsy" and if you come back, you better have your manners about you or Betsy Maggie Might mistake your dick for a hot dog and take a big bite out of it. The hot dogs are in the kitchen, by the way."

"Damn girl, do you know something I don't?"

"Hah, everyone who knows anything, knows something you don't. So, offer a hot dog to Betsy, will you?"

We all know that there is one in every crowd, right? There is always a Mr. Jerk Off lurking around. Just like there's always a blind Betsy, just waiting to make a big mistake in the kitchen.

"Hey, is the beer cold and do you want to make out in the corner? There are two empty spots. I'm Aaron and I'm here to drive you home."

"Is that right? And if I drove my own SUV here?"

"Then Danny can look out of the window in the morning and think that he may have gotten lucky the night before. Meanwhile, one of us will be asking for one at least one more time."

"It's a little early to be thinking about things like that. So, a beer for you and your date?"

"Darla, but she'll, you know, understand."

"One beer for "dumped Darla" and one for "ask me again someday Aaron" and I hope you enjoy the party and my costume."

And then, like the parting of the Red Sea, the lines seem to split as a goddess approached my little beer keg work station. And you know what, I suppose that it's just fine when a girl chose's a costume that is more like a, well, I don't know what she's wearing, but it's one piece and it doesn't cover much.

"Hi. I'll have a beer while I tell you a true story. I'm Gwen and I'm here to rescue you."

"Alright "Greek Goddess Gwen", one fresh pour. So, let's hear your true story and are those real?"

"LOL, they are. Listen, the truth is that my boyfriend sent me down to spy on Danny's party, you know, to make sure it's not as good as ours. We live across the street and 3 doors down, you know, right where you parked your SUV."

"Well, that all sounds truthful so far. Please continue and do you ever need a push up bra?"

"LOL, no pushing required. The middle of my true story is that our parties are about equal, but Danny has the edge because of you. My boyfriend says I should steal you away. He is setting up a table for you know and we have a whole box of Sharpies. You're a big hit, by the way."

"Well, you forgot to say that my costume is cute too, but go on with the end of your true story and do you like Vampire movies?"

"Oops, my bad, hey, cute kitty cat costume. And I don't know if I like Vampire movies or not. I mean, maybe, right? Anyways, we want you to tend to our party and you're going to agree with me in less than 2 minutes. So, grab your little shoulder bag, your phone, your tips, a bottle of Raspberry Vodka and get ready to follow me out of the front door. And when I say follow me out of the front door, I mean we're running."

"Well, I don't know what's going to happen in two minutes, but if I did fall under your spell, would you "accidently" rub against me a few times tonight, you know, while I fight off the horn dogs in line at my new beer keg table?"

"LOL, I will. So, are you ready to run, ah,????"

"Maggie. Maggie Might. Maggie Might be under your spell already and by that, I mean you Maggie Might have to hold my hand as we run down the sidewalk, you know, across the street and 3 doors down."

"Hah, I Maggie Might enjoy that. Oh, by the way, give me a bottle vodka too. Are there any other flavors?"

"Hah, we all know that Middleton is famous for Raspberry Vodka, so no and there seems to be rule about it. Alright, I have everything in reach. When is the big thing happening, Gwen?"

"Three, two, one."

Damn girl, do you know something I don't? I mean, what am I missing here?

"OMFG, someone call EMS! OMG, call the quick! Blind Betsy just bit Curt's dick head off during a blind as a bat blow job in the laundry room. She thought she was eating a hot dog. Quick, call the EMS!"

Oh, holy that must hurt snap! Gwen did know something that I didn't and she knew that this place was going to be crawling with flashing blue and red lights any moment now.

"See, told you. Let's be quick before we get caught up inside of the crime scene tape. You can hang on tight as we trip down the sidewalk."

It was a split minute decision, but I watch true crime shows and I know that anyone inside of the crime scene tape gets hauled in for a statement and the last thing I needed was a bunch of cops wondering if it would be legal to strip search the kitty cat. So, I grabbed my stuff and ran with Gwen. You know, across the street and 3 doors down.

End Maggie Might 01