All Comments on 'Magical Sister Transforms Me Ch. 01'
by FrostLayer
- 10 Comments
cageysea9725almost 2 years agoIf one feels the need to lay out an in-depth description of every character in a story at the very beginning, then they just don't have anything interesting to say. It's that simple. Boring first page, so the rest doesn't matter even a little bit.
If one were to read any well-written fiction (there's very little of it here, so I suggest you go elsewhere for examples), they would know this was fact. Of course, if you're not really keen on actually working that much I understand. I've run across a large number of people who fancy themselves writers but are just too lazy to actually do the work to make writing interesting, so they fail.
This seems to be the case here.
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoWish I could rate this a 6 or 7. Original and excellent! Please continue!
Westman99almost 2 years agoOkish for me. I found it good in parts and then a bit waffly and lacking plausibility. It may be that I struggle in believing the feasibility of witchcraft.
Adrianicusover 1 year agoI liked it but if you are going to do a multi-parter then making people wait 7+ months for part 2 isnt great.
Anonymous8 months agoGreatness for me. I found it fascinating and erotic and supernatural element in all your stories elevated this story.
FrostLayer@FrostLayer
