Mailgirls Down Under Pt. 01

***

Mitch wondered how he was going to sell a contract with no demerits and no punishments for mailgirls to Mr Harada. Jackson was due for another scoping meeting and he hoped she would give him something to use to make his boss happy.

Jackson entered Mitch's office with another woman she had brought with her and asked how the rest of the planning was going. Belinda reported that they had a job role drafted for the Mailgirl Supervisor and Mitch caught Jackson's eye, noting her interest in that.

Jackson then introduced the colleague who had come with her to the meeting. "I brought in a psychologist in the field, Fanny Durack to help me. She has written a report that I hope you have all had the time to read." The looks on the faces of Mitch, Shane and Belinda suggested that Fanny should just get on with her presentation with the assumption that she was starting from zero.

Fanny knew how to introduce the subject. "Well, it looks like half the psychs in the US are doing their Masters on mailgirls, so I thought I better get in on the ground floor in this country. Due to our labour laws, mailgirls in Australia are going to be a special case."

This they already knew, she realised as she leafed through her copy of her report titled 'A satisfied mailgirl is a happy mailgirl.' She read out the executive summary stressing the main points.

Shane interrupted her. "What does that ever mean?" he asked.

"Sorry, what?" she asked.

"The title," he explained.

"Ah," Fanny realised. "Interviews with American mailgirls have found them in a state of sexual tension brought on by their state of undress in an office situation, no surprise, and by the time pressures placed on them to deliver, the poses they are required to hold and the ban on touching themselves or otherwise getting off except when they are showering or on breaks." Fanny looked around to confirm as she expected that she now had everyone's attention. "Interviews have revealed that this is their most disliked part of the job."

Realising that this was a potential HR problem, Belinda spoke first. "So what are you suggesting?"

Fanny smiled. "If you want a happy group of exhibitionist naked workers in your office, you have to give them opportunities for relief."

"That's going to be skating close to the edge of what we are allowed to do in the office?" Mitch asked Jackson.

Jackson smiled her assurance at him. "That's why I brought Fanny in. She and I have been working on a number of options to, um, keep the mailgirls satisfied while staying within what the Fair Work Commission seems to be allowing us."

"Such as?" asked Mitch, wondering how much he would dread the answer. He dwelt for a quick moment on Jackson's use of 'us' before giving full attention to Fanny.

Fanny flicked through her report to the page she wanted. "It comes under the general heading of respect shown to the mailgirls by the workforce. And the setting of boundaries..."

"Meaning," Jackson concluded for her, "that there will be no touching of mailgirls except with their explicit consent. And..."

Fanny jumped back in. "There needs to be ample opportunities for the mailgirls to get relief throughout the office. It's a win / win situation. The mailgirls are happy and able to enjoy their job. And if the designated places for them to do it are public enough, then the workforce gets incentivised by viewing the, um, performances in a safe, positive manner."

"This is all too weird," Mitch complained.

"But you're always complaining that the mailgirls program needs to be respectful," Shane argued. "And this is respectful."

"Is it?" Mitch fired back. He looked to Belinda who looked to Jackson.

Jackson smiled. "Sort of," she suggested.

"See!" Shane insisted. He looked over to Fanny. "What about these public places? What were you thinking of?"

Fanny looked to Jackson who gestured that the ball was in Fanny's court, so she better play it. "A dildo station on every floor. That way if the mailgirls cannot get off by hand, or just if they happen to choose otherwise, they have a selection of toys to help them."

Shane's eyes lit up. "A dildo station! Perfect!" he exclaimed then looked around to find that Belinda and Mitch did not seem to share his enthusiasm. He eyeballed Mitch. "Don't you see, Mitch. Tell Mr Harada about these dildo stations and he'll love it. They will overcome his reservations about all the other stuff that you are going to change from what he expected."

Mitch nodded slowly. Shane might just be right. He could push how the mailgirls were going to masturbate in front of the rest of the staff as something that would contribute to the morale of the office, which was the apparent point of the program and could downplay the stuff that he knew Mr Harada would not like. He leaned back in his chair and nodded slightly more enthusiastically. "We will have dildo stations," he agreed not quite believing what he was saying.

***

Mr Harada did not immediately love the dildo stations. He preferred his mailgirls in state of sexual tension. It makes their punishment sessions more interesting for him.

So Mitch had to break the news about that to him. "We are not allowed to punish the mailgirls."

"How can they stop us?" Mr Harada demanded.

"They can fine the company for duty of care to its workers, they can charge any employees who do the punishment with assault, and they can charge management with negligence. And I have a legal opinion that they could also charge you as the ultimate owner of the company with a whole lot of stuff when you come to visit. They would probably take your passport and keep you in the country for a while." Mitch waited for another tirade.

For some time Mr Harada said nothing. Then he spoke slowly. "What are suggesting instead?"

Mitch took to that task with apparent enthusiasm as he repeated the idea. "The dildo stations. The mailgirls are happy, the staff are happy and everybody is productive. Do you want me to go on?"

"No, you win. You get your dildo stations," Mr Harada relented with some level of exhaustion for the issue. Then he perked up. "If these stations work in your office, we may consider them for the other offices," he added in a way that suggested the idea would be his if it worked.

***

After the usual working party of four had gone through the draft of the employment agreement, Mitch engineered a moment alone with Jackson. He contrived to take the lift down to the foyer with her after the meeting, still buzzing from the meeting and agreeing that they had a workable agreement that he could hope for approval by the Fair Work Commission. But when they were alone in the foyer, he revealed what he had on his mind.

"You must be interested in how this thing is going to work, what with the time and effort that you have put into it. We were thinking of offering you a role here."

Jackson looked at him with interest. "I don't know, supervisor would be a bit mundane," she answered straight away.

Mitch put on his best negotiator's face. "I wasn't thinking of supervisor. You're right, that role will be a bit mundane."

Jackson stared at Mitch for the longest moment, clearly waiting for him to come out with what he was thinking. Realising it was up to him, Mitch blurted "would you think of becoming a mailgirl yourself?" Jackson looked at him with shock, but he had started, so he continued. "You know how much it pays and I am pretty sure that the pay is probably higher than what you are getting."

Jackson looked him in the eyes for another long, silent moment to ensure that he was being serious. She tried to deflate the situation. "Haha, if I was going to consider becoming one of your mailgirls, I would be doing so for the other benefits, not so much the money."

Mitch narrowed his pitch down to what he thought was really at issue, so far as he was concerned. "We need someone with your skills to make sure that it starts smoothly. You know how to run the tribunal and make sure that it didn't get out of hand. I don't know of anyone else who could do that. Would you consider it for a week or perhaps a little longer until we had things running smoothly? It would be purely transactional."

Jackson smiled dangerously. "And you get to see my tits."

Mitch thought he would play along. "And your arse." Jackson did not slap his face which he thought was a positive.

Instead she kept her hard stare. "Why did you think to even ask me?"

Mitch had that answer ready. "Because while you were drafting the rules you were thinking what conditions you would expect to see if you were going to be a mailgirl. You were thinking yourself into the role of a mailgirl. And I think we gave you everything that you wanted."

Jackson shot Mitch a friendly smile. "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard." She paused and saw the need in his stare. "Since you're so insistent let me think about it."

Mitch continued. "Just imagine, this would be a way to test your post-feminist principles in a practical way. While getting paid for it. You know all the rules. And this is going to be completely different to anything that has been tried in the workplace before. I think it will be interesting and fun."

Jackson smiled amicably but she was trying to back out into the street and away from the man. "Okay, you've made your case. Let me think about it."

Mitch kept his smile to himself as Jackson exited from the foyer with her usual confident stride. In his experience thinking about it usually led to...

***

The team of four had a working session. Mitch advised that Mr Harada was happy with their progress and that the Fair Work Commission had approved the employment contracts.

"I suspect," Shane smiled, "that they didn't read it too closely."

Belinda smiled. "I suspect that they did."

Mitch looked over at the apparently comfortable union rep who sat relaxed as usual in her jacket and slacks. He smiled at her. "With you on board for three months, we will start with a total of six and see how we go. So that's five we need to recruit. Let's advertise internally first then see how many we will need from outside. We'll run some discrete public ads after a week."

Jackson stared back at Mitch with the most normal of workplace appropriate looks. "Do you think you can find five recruits inside the company?" she asked.

"I have absolutely no idea," he replied and looked to the other two who shrugged. "And," he addressed Jackson, "you're good for three months?"

She smiled and responded with a sly smile. "You never know. I may have to check in after that to see how well the project actually works." Mitch could only wonder what she was thinking and how she had reached that point. Regardless he had a meeting to run.

"It would be good to see if you can get the tribunal running properly during that time. None of us have any experience with something like that."

"Haha, neither do I," Jackson reminded them.

"But at least you can conceptualise how it is supposed to run," Mitch explained.

Mitch tried not to concentrate on looking too much at Jackson knowing that he would be seeing her nude every day for three months in the near future. And still he wondered, what makes someone agree to be a mailgirl?

The Contract

The mailgirl's conditions of employment in the Melbourne office of Harada Industries:

Mailgirls are fulltime employees and have all the benefits of employment as offered by Harada Industries to any staff.

Mailgirls will be recruited on a number of factors other than looks. They are however to be naked during normal working hours, between the mezzanine and level ten.

Additionally, mailgirls can smoke, drink and masturbate as much as they like in the office during working hours so long as they meet their delivery targets.

Mailgirls are to be called by names that they select. Not by numbers. They are free to choose their own names or any other names they fancy.

They can discipline other workers if they are disrespectful to them. Video evidence is to be presented to a tribunal of mailgirls who can set serious penalties for bad behaviour. (See Annex 2.)

Mailgirls can only be touched with their express consent.

Mailgirls can demand that workers pleasure them in any way that they see fit. This is not compulsory and is only to occur between the mezzanine and level ten of the building during working hours. If a worker says no to pleasuring a mailgirl, the mailgirl is not to ask that worker for pleasure until such a time as the worker informs the mailgirl that they permit it.

Mailgirls are allowed to keep bush but have to shave armpits and legs at a minimum each morning in their change room on the mezzanine.

Mailgirls are eligible for up to two days period leave a month.

Rather than demerits for missing timelines and for other infractions, mailgirls will be awarded bonus points for exceeding timelines and maintaining standards. (See Annex 3.)

The company's obligations:

The company will ensure that mailgirls can only be viewed by employees of Harada Industries and BAD Solutions or other people who are required to work on levels three to ten or are otherwise authorised to be there.

The company will run compulsory mailgirl respect sessions for all workers on floors three to ten and mailgirl induction sessions for any contractors or new staff which they must attend before having access to those floors.

The company will set up dildo stations on each floor of the office for the mailgirls' relief.

Only mailgirls are allowed to touch the items at the dildo stations unless they expressly give other workers permission to handle them.

***

As soon as the employment contracts were approved, Belinda advertised the roles. She had impressed Mitch that it didn't matter whether the adverts were discrete or public, the result would be the same, and they would get a better range of applicants the wider they advertised. And Mitch knew that the reports of such a level publicity would impress Mr Harada and keep him happy for a while. Belinda hired Wendy Turnbull as the Mailgirl Supervisor, starting straight away to assist her with the recruitment. Wendy Turnbull was a middle-aged beauty consultant who was looking for 'new opportunities' and radiated the right mix of control and empathy that Belinda was after for the role.

Wendy and Belinda read the applications as they came in, grading them for the shortlist. They hoped to interview only the five best applicants and then work their way down the list if not all of those five worked out. As it turned out, five women already employed by Harada Industries had applied. Belinda did her preliminary checks, decided all five were suitable and agreed with Mitch that she would interview them with him.

They had received the induction manual from the US office which outlined the intrusive nature of their interviews and the questions that the candidates were required to answer about their sex lives and proclivities. After some discussion, Mitch and Belinda agreed that they would ask the intimate questions about the candidates' sex lives. But they would stress that the candidates did not have to answer them. What they needed to do was be certain from their interview that the candidate would not mind being nude in the office.

Mitch knew a way to answer that issue. But still he asked Belinda "So what's the best way to find that out?"

Belinda smiled wryly. "Well, the interviews will be done with them in the nude. That should answer a few questions." As Mitch expected.

The interviews were conducted off-site and outside of work hours since all the interviewees were staff and Belinda and Mitch agreed it would not be appropriate for the office to know who would become mailgirls until the contracts were signed. And it would be worse if any of the candidates proved to be not suitable. Only Belinda, Mitch and Wendy Turnbull knew the names of the shortlisted candidates.

Mitch and Belinda ran the interviews one evening after leaving for the neutral venue separately, acting as if they were just going home. The candidates had been warned that they would do their interviews in the nude. Mitch stationed an Admin Assistant, Annette Kellerman, outside the hotel function room that they had booked. She had been briefed about the candidates, how to manage them in and out of the venue, and she had been given a nice payment for the evening. She had that position fortuitously, as she had applied to be a mailgirl, and she would be the final interviewee.

Kimiko Date, finance department -- interviewee number one

A knock on the door and then a thin woman, slightly shorter than average height meekly entered the room, careful to close the door behind her. She found herself facing Mitch and Belinda who sat behind a desk at the far end of a medium size room, so there was some space between the candidate and them. Noticing a table against a side wall, she stepped over and undressed, removing her jacket and carefully laying it flat, then removing and folding her blouse on top of it, slipping down her skirt and being equally careful before, now only in matching white pants and a bra, she looked over to the two behind their desk. They were watching her impassively, so understanding her prior instructions, she unclipped her bra, stepped out of her pants, placing them tidily on top of the rest of her clothes. Naked, without any sign of serious emotion or hesitation, she trod up towards the table where the two interviewers sat watching her. Ignoring the chair facing them, she assumed the position on her knees in front of the table, straightened her back and looked down at the floor.

Mitch spoke up. "Kimiko, you don't have to do that," he urged gently.

The interviewee did not move from her prone position. She adjusted her knees wider and addressed the floor in front of her in a soft voice. "I know that is how a mailgirl is expected to present herself in Japan," she told them quietly.

Mitch tried to put her at ease. "Ah, you have been watching the videos of the overseas mailgirls. We won't force you to do that here. But you can if you want to. Now why do you want to be a mailgirl?"

"I have something to prove to my family," she replied with her soft, determined voice.

Okay then, Mitch thought. He could only try to guess what that might be and he knew that he would be wrong whatever he thought. He looked over to Belinda who raised her eyebrows. So she asked the next question.

"I read in your application that you interned in Harada Industries' head office in Japan before moving to Australia and getting a job here. Did you see the mailgirls there?"

Kimiko kept her pose. "Yes, of course. They were a normal part of the office. Culture, I guess. But in case you are going to ask I never dreamed of being a mailgirl then."

"May I ask why?" Belinda probed gently.

"I'm three years older now," Kimiko mysteriously replied.

***

Business Analyst Lauryn Mark -- second interviewee

Early in her interview. Mitch asked the Business Analyst Lauryn Mark "What's your motivation? Why do you want to do this?" After all, she had a pretty good wage with Harada Industries already and a responsible position in the company.

Like a well trained interviewee, Lauryn made sure to look both Mitch and Belinda in the eyes as she answered, sitting naked in front of them. "To pay off my student debt, maybe save enough to buy a house." She gave them a look that said she was being totally honest. And gesturing at her state of undress, she added "I have nothing to hide," and laughed. Both her interviewers smiled. "And before you ask, my partner is all for it. He says he is ambitious for me."

"And do you have any doubts?" Belinda asked.

Lauryn shook her head. "I've been languishing in my job for a couple of years with no apparent career progression. There doesn't seem to be any movement in my section. And I like working for the company. So I thought I'd try this to see if it gives my career a boost. They say that that is one of the perks in the US."