All Comments on 'Making Art with Mom Ch. 01'

not enough to read.

Wow.

I have a feeling that this could have been compressed into a preface for a real story. But if you're going Multi-chapter it makes (a very dull story) sense.

Really was erratic and incoherent. He was looking at the junk in the barn and suddenly it's his mother masturbating? How the hell did that happen?

Still a cliche' idea and it was a little erratic with him running into the barn and seeing his mom... but I actually read the whole page... It needs to be longer though, that's not a suitable chapter break... I think it will loose luster being a multi chapter story... People kill stories by making it go on and on to 10 15 20 chapters...Theres a reason professional writers kill off characters people!

Just like C2J2's post. If something has cliché, then it is clichéd. One day dumb Americans will get that.

Read a few others before you write more.

Continuity is a little skewed...

He was in the barn, then all of a sudden he is on the steps in the house looking at him mom in the bedroom. At first, I was thinking he was seeing her from his vantage point in the barn, but then you said you were on the steps... really confusing.

Also, like the others said, far too short of a chapter.

This is not a story, it's just a lot of words.Read a few stories, then start over but keep the story line going.........................GOOD LUCK and think INCEST.

Sounds like it was getting good..finished ?

Way too short, seemed a bit mixed up and no real ending or continuation.

Just 1* from me

When is part 2 coming??

This stopped nowhere. What’s the problem?

I’m sorry, what?

Do you call this a story , come on

Total fucking sucks!! Lame and no lert 2?!?

Sorry but this story went nowhere. No character development. No plot development. I admire the author getting this story input on this site, I do not know nor understand wy? Even imagination can not fix this at this time. Continue with your effort.

Huh?