All Comments on 'Making Danielle Cum'

The story kept on shifting viewpoints and was very hard to follow because of that

I loved that u kept changing view points, it made it hotter for me. I found that I really liked all of the different views. It made me want to be danielle.

Great idea of putting yourself in everyones mind while the act is going on. A nice different approach.

Those multiple viewpoints were very difficult to follow. It slowed down the reading quite a bit. Perhaps you should have found a way to differeniate the "speakers", maybe by using () parentheses for Dani's thoughts.

Also, I think there maybe should have been more threat to Daniele's safety early on, because it's not clear enough why she doesn't struggle when in jeopardy. If simply turned on, keep saying that -- like: "I pretend to fight back. I pretend to kick and buck away, all the time enjoying the restraining hands all over my body..." etc.

Otherwise good. Was there a story written about Roxanne's earlier "taking"?

Very hot story! makes me wish I was Danielle. It was a little weird, but otherwise not as bad to follow. Would love to see more of this!

this is one of the best stories that i've read on here-makes me really want to be danielle.

the only downside was the different viewpoints as it confusing sometimes.

would love to see more of this thread-maybe some forced girl on girl action?

Great story, as a straight women I do find myself being very turn on by forced lesbianism

I love the way your characters speak to their victims... It is so freaking sexy! Keep em cumming please!!!

This is so horribly written. It jumps from pov to pov to pov constantly with no warning and little context.. The story could have been amazing. Just sad...