All Comments on 'Manhood Rite'

Really well-written with good character and plot development. You should be well satisfied with your efforts.

Thanks for the warning about the length of the story. Wow! Ten pages! I will pass on this one.

Excellent story, well written, engrossing for the patient

I enjoyed your story, it actually had a storyline to it and your characters where interesting. Thanks for your time and effort!

OK. It was a little too long, but great! Write more.

10 pages and you never bothered to explain their personalities and the relationship between them. You just ramble on and on about irrelevant and uninteresting things and then bam, they have sex. Awful really awful.

terrific story don't let anyone who doesn't enjoy a good plot belittle you it was a great read and i expect to hear more things about the kilitoki as her son needs to find a wife probably one of the sisters, and those other boys need to get laid perhaps they can meet a herd of boars who knows.you can have an orgy ritual just don't stop writing.

didnt page 1 cover the relationship between them and their personalities. plus i think the plot and the adventure should maybe allow them to marry under tribal law and have kids.

"There was a whole pile of fruit laying on the floor of... "

I doubt it. Fruits don't do anything. The fruit was lying on the floor. Please learn lay/lie/lying/laying. You seem to know lay is past tense, but then you say "was laying" with the same verb. So, do you say, for instance, "buy", "bought" and "was boughting"? "Do", "did", "was diding"? No. Enough of this shit. Learn the words. It's not that hard in this world of the internet and free dictionaries.

Extremely long, but as I have discovered over the years, every good story is exactly the right length! Wonderful buildup, with a steady buildup of erotic energy that pays off in the end! Looking forward to the next!

I wish you story had a little bit more sex in it but i really enjoyed the setting and the story keep up the good work.

I enjoyed the story and to echo Ahabscribe (one of the masters of erotic writing) awesome!

A few typos, grammatical errors and a bit of repetition did not really get in the way of good character development and the love and lust between mother and son.

Looking forward to reading more of your works,

Venus

That my friend was well written. It covered so many characters and gave you a stunning visual of the manhood rite. Maybe you'll give us a part 2 someday. Bravo !

you did well, I couldn't stop reading once I started. It grabbed me from the start. The last sentence summed up alot , but one more chapter, follow up type. You know last few months then state side and they continue. Her own sexual awakening hummm. Either way your the story teller and its your call, but ty for the wonderful read

I am normally not a fan of incest stories, especially when they involve immediate family, but for some reason I started to read this one and couldn't stop. I really enjoyed Manhood Rite, which was neither long winded or boring, and was sad when it came to an end. Is their possibly a sequel in the works?

wow great story.. top10 past 1 year !

i just hope, if the this will continue, story wont end up in a orgy or something like.. !

5/5

Me again....African guy....and I'm going nowhere.

And your pseudo-stereotypical story still sucks Aryan.

Have you noticed how most Literotica writers (both good & the totally crapped out) stand up for each other. A noble gesture. But totally wasted here.

Ahab, your credibility's running out of room space dude if you support this shit.

My 2cents.

Totally awesome story. I enjoyed it's original setting and how well written it was. Maybe the ending was kind of underwhelming in the way the story endes (I was expecting to read more about their new time as lovers). Maybe you will sometime decide to write a continuation telling the rest of the tale, and let us know if the will stay with the tribe or return to the modern world. Either way, a fantastic read. 5 stars! and favourited author. Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the awesome work. ^__^

...and a lot more so than most stories i've seen on lit. the manhood rite itself was intense. because incest isn't my thing, i was more squicked than turned on by how sweet and motherly zoe was during, but i thought her actions were believable and relatable and well written. on the surface this was a bit advanced-attractive-white-people-visit-primitive-african-tribe, but the africans were in fact treated like real characters, and the white people learned their lessons without 'saving the natives' a la avatar.

nice one... write moar!

fantastic story it was very well written keep it going i shot the biggest load ever i wanna move to africa now lol

Enjoyed it thoroughly. Well done

I read a comment below. You will find that there are all kinds of weird and insecure

people in the world. Always shrouded in anonymity. Maybe a psychiatrist knows him quite well.

A beautiful story... Simply awesome to read. I hardly recall when i last read such a nice story like this one. The story build up, construction, theme so nice that it can be listed one of the best stories of Literotica, maybe selected for Editors choice. I would like to pass my gratitude to the writer, pls carry on and keep up the good work.

just*****

5/5 definitely! Excellent read with an excellent build up and an even greater climax and resolution. I believe this story deserves an expansion/sequel. It would be great if part 2 has the Mom falling in love with her son and the Son falling in love with his mom. But then they question whether the relationship would work and have doubts about it. Eventually they have to go back home as the job is over. They battle their demons back home. Eventually the sexual tension and feelings take over and it all cultivates to the Mom wanting to have her Son's baby. To escape society they go back to the tribe and she gets pregnant and the lived happily ever after. Its just an idea/suggestion and i hope to see more stories such as this from you. Literotica needs more talented writers like you!!

I have been always a fan of incest erotica. Loved the pace of the story. It was really interesting so the length didn't matter much. If you would have written it in 20 pages I would have read them all. Nice Work !!!

this was a great story

a strong, well told story with a plot that is both natural and believable within the context of the story universe. Likeable characters, some nice character development and enjoyable sexual activities. nicely done.

You rare a good writer but you might be at a wrong place, this is an erotic stories site... This story wasn't erotic until the last few pages....I can even get past the 10 freakin pages if its a hot story but your simply wasn't.

Look Im not saying you made a bad story, it was above average....but regarding sex it simply sucks...it was boring, unimaginative and only happens in the end. If you're writing such a long story why not heat things up gradually between mom and son?

You had such a great idea....sex in a strange African tribe, weird ritual...you could have done wonders but, like I said it was plain boring.

You could def make a career in non erotic stories, and you had a really hot idea putting mom and son in a jungle tribe...

Read a few stories from "alwayswantedto" and see how its done....

Perhaps reading the "Warning" at the very start of the story would have spared you the trouble.

It was too long (which isn't bad by itself) but the worst part is that sex happens only in the end. No teasing through out story & no kinky stuff. I expected a lot more after reading a description "A mother and son's life among an African tribe" (what a great idea!!!) You could have done a lot more with this story and I def think you're good enough writer for it...

I feel like you misplaced your energy on going too deep into the story (the non sexual part of it). Oh yeah the non sex part was probably the best I've ever read on Literotica, but that's not why I read stories here :)

That's just my opinion. You're a great writer I have to admit that, and Im def going to read other stories from you

great story and nice build up

a quality story !!!!!!

kudos fictitious!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

the perfect incet story between mother and son

In contrast with some other comments, I liked the slow buildup of the story. As an aside, any isolated tribal community practicing incest would soon get wiped out by genetic defects, would it not ;) ?

awesome. not at all too long. a good long story is like a good long screw, some things shouldn't be hurried. Loved it. I've love to read another episode about this wonderful mother and son couple. If they have another year on site there should be room for further developments!!! more please.

GOOD STORY, A LITTLE LONG, BUT A GREAT ENDING. A PART 2 WOULD BE NICE. TELL US, WHEN SHE GET A FULL TUMMY. A FAN MORE MORE MORE.

One of the best incest stories I've read. Thank you!

Your slow building up of a plausible incest situation is simply great!

The only (little) flaw I see is that you draw the african culture a bit sketchy (for example, africans tend to not consider the showing of boobs as a sexual call, in many african cultures women normally go around with their boobs on display, without having or causing any embarassment).

I would love a sequel, perhaps with another mom/son couple joining the tribe, unaware of the "manhood rite" tradition.

Wow! very, very, VERY nice story. I can't say enough good things about it. I'm hoping you'll follow-up with part 2!

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I'VE READ SINCE JOINING THIS SITE. THERE ARE LOTS MORE IN ALL CATEGORIES, BUT IN INCEST ONE OF THE BEST. MOTHER / SON ALWAYS SEEMS TO WORK. PLEASE POST ANOTHER CHAPTER TO THIS STORY. THEY STILL HAVE ANOTHER YEAR TO GO. .........A FAN................................LAROC OF AGES

This was a truely amazing story to read, I enjoyed it very much.

Having a sequel with Zoe deciding to take Peters child would be absolutely amazing. Even if they returned to the "normal world" back home.

A very well entangled story with a happy "ending".

......beautifully crafted i mean it was so real and raw. BRAVO! ENCORE!

thank you so much.

so well crafted, a great story in itself, warm and funny - with added bonuses. congratulations, you should feel proud of that one.

Sequel please ..Excellent

This needs a part 2!!!

Loved the story look forward to a sequel??

I applaud your very creative way to deal with the theme of incest.

Hope theirs more chapters following this

Oh my god!

This is the most exciting story I've ever read!

You should write Ch. 2! I hope African birth control is not reliable.

Bloody hell, what a brillant story, listen to all your comments from your readers,they want MORE and soooo do I.....

Sequel or not, I really like this! You give a pretty good description of their lives, except that there's got to be more to her day than teaching and english class. It would have been enjoyable if Tookie and the other Grass Warriors could have had some of their own Manhood Rite ceremonies after Peter's so they could compare experiences. I wonder also if Peter of the Anaconda will take a wife, maybe Cili. Good storytelling.

This would have to be one of the best stories I've read EVER. You must do a sequel, there's too many questions that needs answering. Does she fall pregnant it would be great if she did. Twins maybe. You stated Kilitoki custom decreed that the mother was his to do as he pleases until he marries. What if he didn't marry, his mother was his for life WOW. Her work notifies her that her position there is permanent if she want it. My god, there's so many ways you can go with this story. So please show us readers what a truly brilliant writer you are and give us more and by the previous comments left by other readers your on a winner my friend. 5 stars without a doubt...

Just finished it. Beautiiiii ful story. Enjoyed it completely. It's primitive but natural. Enjoyed very much.

One of the best I've read in a long time

It is the best story in the literotica.com . If any one make a movie with this story, it will best taboo movie forever. And you can write story like remaining peter friends can also have sex with Zoe and peter will have with their mothers. Kilitoki president and his son should have sex with Zoe, where peter can have sex with Kilitoki president wife. It is very less if I rated 5 it should be 100

You have left so much undone. They had unprotected sex. Will the juice of Infertility work AFTER sexual intercourse? This time they just had rathr animalistic sex to satisfy their hunger. The mother, Zoe, is supposed to teach him how to pleasure a woman. These things are left untold. Also, will he take a Kilitoki wife? If so will he make the decision to stay and live as the Kilitoki? Will he leave his friends Tooki and Pomo and the other Grass Warriors. Will he be an attendant at their Manhood Rites? Will Zoe go back 'home' and resume her dull day to day conservative life? Can she after living two years as a total different person? How can she leave her son?When her son takes a wife, is the mother (according to tribal tradition) allowed or encouraged to take a husband? The man who brought them, the tribal chieftan and great mother's son would understand her and she would marry into the 'Royal Family' for the Kilitoki. You can't document the rest of your character's lives, of course, but you have left some questions your readers might have unanswered. Great Story, but unfinished. BTW. This would NOT make a good movie. There probably is not a writer or Director alive who wouldn't butcher it up and make it into a porn movie. They would be trying to make tons of money, rather than keep to the quality of the story.

But lacking answers to many questions I haf beed seeing here in comments. Chiefly, what happens to Peter and Zoe? Do they stay or do they go? he say he does not want to go back. Wil she stay with son, at least until he marry? Other person right. This would not be good as a movie. Once a story is bought for to make into a movie it is usually messed with in a bad way. I don't know about more chapters. Though it lacks answers I think they must just stay unanswered. It has ended pretty well for everyone.

Beautiful story. If you continue the story I'll certainly read it.

One of the best stories on here.

Does anyone on here know of other Mom-son believable stories with reluctance/regret from the mother?

Some authors I've found on here that post these type of stories are:

Dick_spanker, Anal_king, Sam Jason, heyall and susanjillparker.

Could anyone please recommend some more? It is hard to find these type of stories on here nowadays.

Thanks

The gradual build up, in the story, The acceptance of the native tribal ways by Peter and the more gradual acceptance by Zoe, especially leading up to the Manhood Ritual was really great and the follow up & ending left room for more!

Please write a follow up

This is the best written story I have read in a while. The way you describe the characters build the plots. I could almost envision you living this story not just telling it.

A shaved pussy! I prefer a WOMAN not a 12 year old, leave the hair ALONE!!! An infertility drug??? Your losing stars author...

I wanted slightly more. Mom needed to refuse the infertility herb at least. A baby for sure. Quite a long story to get to nothing??? Several things, like anaconda that no tribal African has ever heard of. Anaconda among other things are South American NOT Africa. 10 pages with an empty ending??? 3*'s to be generous.

I really loved your story!!

Especially the tomo's ritual description and his entitlement of his mom.and how the son is ",entitled" to take his mom as many times.

I would love a follow-up to it, where Zoe is still reluctant ,but let her son take her.and how the village talks about their sex.

Also anew story, where a father has to let his wife sleep with their son,as he is "entitled" for it after a certain event or a ritual set in Amazon,Africa or a tribal forest area.

The story is from the father's perspective. and how he hears the mom moan in pleasure from the hut

The mom and son are a little reluctant,but later the son wants more, and the mother is still not comfortable,but she enjoys it.

Somewhat like the film "the savage is loose(1971) " with realism and good plot.

Looking forward to it!! Thanks!! :)

I hope someone would make films or videos all of them.

loved the story all along and there should be more stories like this

I love the story!!! I enjoy the build up and the structure flew easily. Please write more😍😍😍

A mother and son story is almost always hot stuff, but in AFRICA it's even hotter, and for the boy makeing friends outstanding ...........very good read THANKS

Please continue the story . Did he keep having sex with her . Did he do her ass. Please another 2 or 3 chapters describing their sex life together . Congrats the story its great.

Please continue! Does Peter take a wife? Or continue fucking his mom for the rest of their stay? Do they stay forever? Need to know!

I hope you write more of this story.

wow..its so rare to have a good story with some originiality on this site.. very underrated story.. i agree with other commenters, this needs to be continued

Truly greAt story. The leads and some of the minor characters were well written, and the culture was great. Be fun to read more. What happens during the rest of their time in Africa, and what happens when they return to the states. Will Peter live at home and go to college, how will their relationship develop or change as they face different expectations and beliefs.

I have read this story n number of times and each time it gets me horny. Absolutely amazing !

And each time I give this a 5 star rating.

Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Long and excellently written!!!!

I can’t believe it took that long to get to the action and all that was written were two sex scenes. This story is okay, but really not all that amazing. If you like this story, then I highly recommend Native Sister by AddToWater. It’s 11 pages, the actions starts much quicker, the story is not just all sex, and the ending was fully developed. Absolutely miles above this work, but it’s not a mom/son it’s a brother/sister.

Very well written and one could feel this story as if I were actually witnessing it from start to finish.. definitely a 5 🌟..fine work indeed..

@ GioSolo

I'm right with you, Native Sister is one of my favourite stories, highly recommended to anybody not deterred by its length.

While the premise ends up to be hot the story itself is unnecessarily long with tedious detail in building up to the actual sexual events.

Not sure how I would rate this. Of all the genres of incest the mother/son relationships are the one I seem to enjoy the most.

Being a warrior now Peter needs to claim what belongs to him now. And as a warrior I would tell my mother that she needs to stop drinking that drink that will keep her from getting pregnant. In 9 months the village will see how much of a warrior he really is.

5/5

I thought it was great mom really got satisfied

Out of the hundreds of stories I've read, this is my favourite. I wish it had another chapter. I would like to see how the relationship evolved.

This great story needs an reprise. Please , how does this story end up? These two are part of the tribe now!

This is an outstanding story because (as a former military advisor and civilian providencial advisor) the background reflects real life. To be successful in these areayou have to acceptand adapt to the culture you are in. That is why we do not assign nor select women for this type assignment. Finally, never would we send a mother and child. Unlike Europe and the West, it is a mother's responsibility to teach her son about love/sex. Wes for the culture of the tribe, Likewise, there is no shame in a mother having the child of her son. However, it is expected that the son will eventually find a wife of his own because the husband will only tolerate this practice for a set period of time. 5 star story. Would like to see it continue into a series. Would like to see what mother and son do when they return home.

Great story needs a follow up,how about involving his friends in the story with the mom but otherwise 👍

Great Story!

The mother now is getting great sex from her son, but he is heavily assimilated into tribal life and is likely to fall in love with one of his friends' sisters. He will no longer be on tap for her sexual needs. She is a sexually active woman and she needs a man. Many men of the tribe would love to fuck her. Is this her future?

Chapter 12- Zoe and her son Peter return to their home. Peter gets very horny for his mother Zoe, and surprises her the next morning by getting into the shower with her and fucking Zoe as hard as he could, finally pumping forty hot thick jet streams of his sperm-filled cum deep into his mother Zoe's pussy. Zoe was having an intense orgasm when her son Peter pumped his sperm inside of her and she was ovulating. One of Peter's millions of sperm that went into his mother Zoe's womb connected with one of her eggs and penetrated it impregnating Zoe. Zoe invited her son Peter to move into her bedroom and they continued to fuck often. Nine months later, Zoe gave birth to a baby boy that looked just like Peter. Over the next ten years, Peter continued to fuck his mother Zoe frequently and impregnated her three more times. Zoe gave birth to two baby daughters and one more baby boy.

Really this is a sex story no oral sex nothing simply waste of time.