Man's Best Friend

"That's an unopened bottle of 44 year Spey side, you can't be serious!"

"Sorry 'tis all A can manage at the moment" She lilted.

"That's a $5000.00 bottle of Scotch; at least!" I almost shouted.

Kate faced me;

"3500 pound actually - to some," she winked, then added;

"Boot ye don't tend bar for 25 years without making a friend or two."

"Wow I would love to know what you did to get that, "I prodded

Kate got up and drew her finger down my cheek, and teased;

"That William is none o' yer business. Right, let's cork this."

"Really, I couldn't," I protested; only to appear polite;

"Why waste a fine whiskey on a virtual stranger?"

She shot me a look of disgust, making it clear that had insulted her. She paused and placed her hand on her chin as if deep in thought, finally she resigned;

"Yer right, We dinnae ken each other overly well, boot that can be remedied easily enough."

Her round face exuded a seductive seriousness as she leaned closer to mine;

"Tell meh William, would ye like tae ken me better?" her greying blue eyes locking into mine. Not surprisingly 'Point blank Kate' made the first move, throwing me a little off balance.

"I...Well...I suppose I wouldn't be sat here drinking all your beer if I didn't" I stammered back. She laughed,

"Indeed, only here for the beer eh? No big surprise given meh craggy state."

"Now stand up an' let meh hae a keek at ye then," she commanded, her tone was that of a scolding head mistress.

I complied, knocking the chair over as I stood, Kate rolled her eyes as she stood back, she looked me up and down then raised her hand in a twirling motion.

"Now turn around Plonker, let's see if yer worth mah time."

She was certainly direct, but I kind of liked that, I liked it enough that I could feel a tightening pressure in my pants. Kate came in closer; her rank scent told me so. Although I don't mind the natural smell of a woman I was initially repulsed by its overpowering and stark muskiness. I did enjoy not being able to see her movements however; it initiated a curious anticipation of what may happen next. I felt her nose hit mid back just below my shoulders; at 6' 2" I had 12" on her. Her short arms struggled to wrap around me, I was broad and at 210 lbs, barely allowing her small fingers to explore my chest and torso. Kate slowly began to squat down, her small fingers started to explore my solid calves then my substantial thighs. Without warning I felt her hand trying to cup my scrotum and balls through my jeans, her sudden familiarity caused me to flinch.

With a gentle tweak to my groin Kate breathed softly, running her hands back across my belly.

"Ooo aye, yer a furry dug William, it has to be said. Question is are ye a nice furry Dug."

Kate's fingers began to fumble with the button on my jeans; I started to tremble a bit, hoping she wouldn't notice my nervousness. I placed my hand on hers for a moment, then came to my senses and helped her pull down my zipper. My pants fell quickly to my ankles, Kate snickered, having realized I was riding commando.

"Dead brilliant!" Kate exclaimed, and smirked approvingly;

"William ye ARE a true Scot at heart, there may be some hope to this an' all."

She placed each of her hands on my inner thighs indicating to me to spread my legs, so I opened up as much as my crumpled jeans would allow. I could feel Kate's nose lightly touching my skin then track down the small of my back then down to my ass crack. Her nose was so close I could feel her light sniffing as it slowly moved down my now goose-bumped ass. I felt a discernible shake in Kate's hands a she began to lightly explore my thighs - Surely she wasn't nervous? I felt her hair hit my shaved scrotum, I quaked a little, her sniffs light and short, dotted down my balls as her chin graced my inner thighs, her nose finally brushed the back of my manscaped sack;

"Ooo, what 'ave we here, bare baws, yer a prissy laddie."

Kate inhaled deeply and rested there for what seemed to be forever, she then softly blew, her hot moist breath gently exhaled into my scrotum instantly pulling it up, my cock however answered with a semi-full salute.

"Not exactly a fresh laddie tho, boot who am A to say!" Kate giggled then ran her flattened hand up my belly, back up to my chest;

"A'll wager a good one tho, sit yourself back doon William."

I bent over to pull up my jeans, hoping to conceal my thickened cock,

"Wack" a sharp slap to my buttock, "Nooo, leave the trousers and while at it, the shirt can go too."

Having been scolded, I was nervous and had trouble unbuttoning my shirt. I kept my back to her as I disrobed, her strong aroma was wafting into the room, There was an odd sensuality about the smell; it was somewhat off putting but definitively female. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but whatever it was my growing cock kept me obedient to her commands. I fumbled for my chair and started pulling it up to the table; Kate grabbed the chair and turned it sideways to the table, her wide cleavage drawing in my eyes. What was she up to now?

Kate patted the cushion of the chair;

"Go on noo... Sit doon."

I must've looked like a real winner scuffling toward the chair, jeans still around my ankles trying not to stare at the pointy orbs tenting out her top.

Kate turned around, her wobbly ass cheeks flowed as she turned, her skirt twisted then settled down inches from my half opened jaw. She lifted her skirt; her panties struggled to contain her deliciously wide and round ass;

"Allow meh tae introduce masell."

I froze, squeamish half knowing what to do, without being absolutely sure.

Her head turned so she could see me squirm, and then patted her ass;

"Go on Big Mahn, to it!" She then sniffed loudly to throw me the hint I shouldn't have needed, and then threw me an impish grin.

I put my hands on her fleshy saddle bags and brought my nose towards her ass, I didn't need to sniff hard, the multitude of tangy smells that flowed from her slapped my face with a tantalizingly thick aquatic reek. The heady smell of sweat and urine emanating from her stiffened my cock, defying all logic. I brushed my nose slowly down her crack, I could see her panties were soiled, the crotch was wet, a dark thick line of feces was peeking through, apparently I wasn't the only one getting excited. She had guts, that's for sure, putting that on display without a hint of shame.

I moved towards her vulva and couldn't help to gag a little; the scent was that of old Gouda sweating out in the sun. Her orange pubic hair was climbing out of her panties, more fuzzy red hair fell down the inside of her cellulite pocked thighs which (oddly) really turned me on. Her hygiene was medieval at best, so why was it was attracting me in a most primitive way?

I imagined that she was bitch in heat and I was dirty dog looking to knot her, forcing her not to get away. My brain was telling me to stop, but my now stiff cock told me to go on; I took a good hard sniff, which resulted in a direct full frontal assault on my sinuses. I involuntarily gagged, hopefully not loud enough for Katie to notice.

"Ye hae enough then?" Kate giggled, then stood up trying to provocatively step out of her dress, unfortunately her boot got tangled up in it, causing her to wobble when she impatiently bent down to release it. She stumbled back; her soft ass engulfed my face releasing a full dose of her muggy scent. I instinctively recoiled upward for purer air, in doing so my cock was now able to fully extend, which was the first thing Kate eyed as she turned around.

"Oh my sorry 'bout that." Her eyes fixed on the full 8" of my heavy package;

"Ooo, keek at that! Full mast and all. As suspected, he is a dirty boy!" Kate teased, "Thanks to Jesus a big un too!" She sat herself down and confirmed her stamp of approval;

"Right! now that we have been properly introduced, William - you may open up the boatle."

With that she suddenly stood up and left the room. I was only half believing what just occurred; my fingers struggled to cork the bottle. She was all over the place - little seemed to govern her candidness or actions, I was having trouble keeping up with her. Her carefree way rendered me unbalanced and curious, drawing me into her further.

I listened to her bumping through the boxes and going up the stairs. The floorboards creaked; she was clearly rummaging around for something. I poured a shot into each glass when Kate came down with what seemed to look like a hung skirt under dry cleaning plastic.

She Looked down on me and started to laugh at me in a way that shrunk me into my chair;

''This wull nae do, not by a mile.'' She clicked her tongue in disapproval shaking her head.

I was confused, what won't do? I looked down on my now flaccid cock; could that be was the cause for her disappointment?

"Ye look like a right school laddie waiting fer the switch." pointing at my jeans rolled up at my ankles,

"Put this on, mah dowie laddie" grabbing the garment from the table, she removed the wrap and produced a crisply pleated kilt and handed it to me.

"It was mah Dah's, are ye mahn enough to wear it? At least then A can pretend that yer a proper Scot if ye can somehow manage."

"I am, and will do with honour" I placed my hand on her cheek before dressing acknowledging the significance. She seemed uncomfortable with my sign of affection and quickly sat down. Eying the drinks I had poured, she snorted, then grabbed the bottle and tripled the portions. Satisfied, she slid one over to me, and then raised her glass;

"Bottoms up then" throwing me a wink, her pale eyes never left mine as she took a gulp of the smooth libation, I followed suit, slightly shaking my head as the fumes overwhelmed my sensitive pallet. I meant no disrespect, I just haven't had a hit of scotch for ages, the first gulp would be the hardest;

"Smooth" I gasped.

"Aye, 'tis at that" Kate agreed then raised her glass again;

"To a proper Jimmy, wearing proper a kilt sharing proper a whiskey with a proper by half wifie." She toasted then drained the rest of the glass without a flinch.

I laughed then raised my glass back;

"And to you Kate, a half proper Las, sharing her RIGHT proper bahookie, with a seemingly proper Jimmy - having totally improper thoughts."

I suavely took a sip of the rare whiskey, I could now savour the flavour, the fumes failed to diluted the odorous scent that had now fully permeated the room. Kate looked down at her disgraced panties and poured another stiff measure into the glasses. We carried on talking all but naked for over an hour; discussing different versions of Scottish history, often getting into spirited discussions on which of our versions were more accurate. The Scotch was dealing out its inevitable effect; we were getting very rowdy and animated, aggressively trying to convince each other of our opinions.

"Kate really, everyone knows The Bruce was a momma's boy pussy, he simply ate from the table Wallace set for him!" I announced slightly slurring my words

Kate got up, raised her hand and gave me a swift slap to the head. I had zero time to defend myself.

"Thar wull be nae bad-mouthing the Bruce in my 'ouse!" She challenged;

"Wallace, Aaugh, one hit wonder if you ask me!" she hissed.

I stood up and countered, I felt like a giant towering over this spirited woman.

"I'm not asking for your opinion: The Bruce was up the King's ass before Wallace stepped in, that's the truth of it."

A now obviously tipsy Kate almost jumped out of her boots, winding up to cold cock me again;

"Prepare yersell fer a bollocking!" she wound up to let fly but I grabbed her arm and strong armed her cheek into the table, twisting her attacking arm behind her back. I leaned into her ear and whispered ominously;

"Robert the Bruce was a Pansy, now say it Kate, be a good gal and say The Bruce was a Pansy. Then - and only then, will I'll consider letting you go."

Kate started to buck trying to kick me below the kilt, I backed up but kept my full weight over her, her reddening face and cheek remained glued to the table.

"Cannae and WILLNAE!" She defiantly yelped, let meh up - YE TOSSER!"

Being a mismatch, I opted to show her mercy;

"Promise to be a good girl then," I offered, slightly loosening my grip on her. Kate in no mood to back down;

"A make nae promises," OOF NOOW!" she spat, making another feeble attempt at my nads with her little boots.

"To be clear, I do so only because I CHOOSE it" I growled, vexing her. Eventually I felt safe enough to release her, but not before licking my finger and sticking it in her ear, further peeving her off.

Kate not pleased, stood up red faced, pulling at her tank top and straightening her hair then wiping my stink off her ear. She puffed up then poked her index finger into my chest, sweat dripping down her neck, then her eyes fixed to mine;

"It has to be said William, if that's the best ye can do, it leaves meh sorely disappointed - YE NOOK!!" With that she then delivered one last poke to my sternum, showing me her back she feigned disgust and turned, I grabbed her shoulders and turned her around she tried to slap me again but I stopped her. Her small arms were no match for mine. I fought my lips towards hers as she continued writhe in protest.

"A'd rather winch a coo's arse!" She spat.

"Moooo, Mooooooooah! I pestered - like a 5 year old;

"Who's the disappointment now?" I gruffly said pushing her arms back forcing me into her closer. She broke her arms from my grasp, once free her resigning demeanour took the lead as reached out and gently grabbed my face, squishing my cheeks;

"Big bad Mahn; beatin' on a ole lady," her look of disgust was like a punch to the face;

"Sorry 'bout that, how else can I be of service."

She smiled softly, her tiny hands slowly reduced their grip, one actually lightly stroked my left cheek, she then grabbed at and steadied my head. I could see hesitation in her eyes, and then with a resigning sigh she started to guide her mouth to mine. I opened up to accept her. Her tongue entered me, in no time her hands moved to the back of my neck roughly pulling it into her to probe me deeper. She hungrily swirled and danced her tongue over my teeth and gums, then relentlessly tried to reach my throat. We slobbered over each other, non-stop for over 10 minutes, breaking only to catch a gasp of air. I swabbed her face hungrily mixing her saltiness into my saliva; she was voraciously doing the same, tonguing me and nipping at my ears. My balls were aching, my cock smashing up against my kilt. Finally we forced ourselves to stop, I hated having to do that, but I was literally breathless.

Equally worn, Kate straightened up, her sticky top rolled under her breasts, now looking like a wet sports bra. Her breasts looked firmer now, much younger than their years, her hard nipples pushing into the thin fabric. Beads of sweat glistened from the insulating hair under her pits, her tussled tank top now completely soaked, clearly couldn't keep up with the perspiration,.

"Ooo Aye, she panted collecting herself," waving her hand to cool her face;

"A think that calls for another drink, Wheeew!"

She poured another scotch from the emptying bottle and drank it down in one shot, then walked over to the cupboard below the sink. I shamefully fixated on the magnificent shimmy of her ass - yet again.

Now what is she up to? Surely it wasn't another bottle of Scotch, if so there would be no doubt she could drink me under the table.

"I like you Kate," I slurred out as she produced an old porcelain basin and sea sponge.

"Do ye now William, are ye sure it's not only meh bahookie you like?"

I looked up pouring the last of the scotch into my glass.

"No you, and yes, especially your lovely bahookie."

Kate placed the basin into the sink, the tap squeaked as the water drained into it.

"Yer oot your face," she scorned.

"No argument there" I agreed.

"A'm right bowfin, surely it's whiskey doing the talking," she added;

"I like your stink, whiskey or no" I blurted, not thinking the crass wording entirely through.

"Ooo do ye noo, weel, aren't ye a clatty laddie." Kate smirked almost approvingly; she took the basin out of the sink, grabbed a tea towel, then looked at the empty bottle on the table.

"Daft, Droonk and Dirtay," her eyes squinting;

"A think a prize like ye should be tossed home to yer wife."

"No wife, just Petey - so for now you're stuck with me."

Kate smiled; "Guid." She smiled again, giving me an assuring pat to the head.

She picked up the basin placed it on the table, her eyes were studying me as if she was sizing my honesty up, trying to be demure and seductive she slowly began to pull up her shirt, her broad hips waving from side to side. Being so damp her shirt remained stuck under her breasts, she struggled to lift it up and over and quickly became frustrated. She contorted herself in almost every way possible before it relented and was slapped angrily to the floor. I tried very hard not to laugh but one ended up coming out through my nose with an unflattering snork. Out came Kate's finger again;

"Yoo, Shut yer gob, or ye'll feel this! She pointed to the back of her hand, and then demonstrated by comically cocking her arm and backhanding it through the air. I put my arms up and waved my hands in surrender as her breast's made their first naked appearance.

"They're very lovely" I offered.

"Sooch the sweet talker, aren't ye," she looked down at them.

Kate placed her hands beneath her breasts and lifted them up slightly, then and squeezed them together, her demeanour was as girl-like as her breasts;

"Ye really think so?"

"I do, in fact they're bahookie lovely." I answered truthfully, adding a confirming nod.

She stood in front of me; her curvy body was very much my liking, her red skin paled between her spread cleavage. Her tits were coned but full and beautifully dotted with dark freckles, which faded then disappeared altogether mid breast, revealing translucent veiny porcelain-like skin. The outline of large areolas darkened only shade or 2, capped by hard and alert pale pink nipples, not unlike the marshmallows that make your hot chocolate such a joy to drink. Her stomach was round, a bit paunchy but not lot of flab - smooth and stark white. What really caught my eye was that fuzzy thick line of bright orange than that fell out of her navel and disappeared into her waistband. I liked a natural woman, the hairier the better, Kate was a 10 in that regard. Her lower end was extremely disproportional to her upper end, very broad; all her excess weight seemed to settle into her hips, ass and thighs, her circumference almost achieving equality to her height around her very round ass.

"Guid" Kate breathed with a big smile, letting them back down to their perch above her belly, well nourished by a 'few' pints over the years.

Kate took the basin and pushed the table away, she squatted own in front of me placing the basin down on the floor, her tart scent impregnated my nose, not repulsive now, but seductively sexy. Perhaps the scotch had burned out my senses more likely my desire intensified by the presence of her nice set of tits. All I knew now was the closer she got to me the more soiled poor Dah's kilt became. When my feet hit the warm water an urge to pee came over me, the beer was long overdue to be recycled, good thing I was hard or things could have gone ugly.

"Tell me William, other than my fine arse, what more, is it that ye like?" she asked, knowingly putting me on the spot.

"Well I like the fact that you don't fish for compliments like the younger girls" I dryly responded.

She stopped her washing - my foot abruptly dropped into basin, her voice went up an octave, maybe two;