All Comments on 'Many Conversations'

Very good takes. I liked where the wife came to her senses and they fought their way back. As for her finding him in the crab shack, I'm not sure how I would have acted in his place.

Just let all the characters hang themselves, bunch of brainless monkeys

The original story was fucken stupid and most of the solutions and scenarios offered here are almost as stupid .

Part of me wishes that after the divorce in the orginal he spends 6 month to a year learning from a experienced sex therapist then go for a rebound with the ex to show with training and experience anyone can be the best ever, and her experience isnt really special but did cost her his love and move on or take her back with dr. Toni.

Multiple endings approach has been tried before with mixed results at best. Same thing with this attempt. Resetting the endings and going in different directions made this effort tedious.

Groundhog Day is not bad approach for comedies. But for a LW story, it just made me go into 'squirrel mode' and that's not a good thing.

Like this version better than tnicoll's. The original was alright. Though having their children treat him as being 'uncivil' when the only action, that we were made aware of, was when he referred to his ex-wife as "Miss Brett". If his other responses when speaking to his ex were at that level, then I do not see their issue. If she gets upset over something like that, then it is on her, not him.I

Great Read 👍

at least you did get it right in the end. ;-)

Every alternative ending is dumb and each one is dumber than the one before it.

Correct ending for this story is for Jim to rip the locket from Tori{s neck and say have fun I’ll move out this weekend and see you in divorce court.

liked the last one

the player got played

ending 1 = cuck

ending 2 = cheating cuck

ending 3 = pathetic cuck

ending 4 = pimp

Nice one. 5 stars

Good alternatives. I would like to see an ending where the Kyle from the original gets the punishment he deserved.

In the second scenario you introduce new facts, his cheating, not in evidence. As he said, his having a discreet affair doesn't excuse an "in your face" weekend with a pussy hound. She could have arranged a discreet meeting or meetings with Kyle, then told him that she had used her marker. Sorry, not buying the reconciliation.

/

I guess having Toni be an unreliable source is a decent twist, and while there was no reason for us to know about prior discussions about threesomes, it still felt a little too out of left field to me.

/

The last one is cute, but too pat, and I think it changes the original set-up too much. I don't know where I'd go from there, but if I was to write a follow-up, I'd begin with when Kyle put his hand on Jim's shoulder, and have Jim spin around and deck Kyle.

I like your thought process and you have good ideas and see some interesting angles.

With some work and growth, I think you would produce very good stories.

I enjoyed the first one and was really liking the second until the ending because reconciliation takes far more work than you had planned. If you want to sell something, make sure your readers want to buy it. The reconciliation in the second story did not sell to this reader. More needed covered at all angles.

I appreciated the third one simply because I also considered the possibility of Tori being a biased or unreliable source of information. Lotharios do exist but they hardly have the ability to seduce anyone or ring every woman's chimes either. I actually didn't consider that she might have lied to Kyle though so that surprised me.

I did enjoy the fourth though I believe Jim came off as a little too weak as far as relationship dynamics go but it was a fun one regardless.

how I feel after reading this. I guess I only like the ones that has btb, wife realizes her mistake and went home and the last ending where the playboy got the shoo from the wife

You'd been better off stopping with the first part

Didn't like all the endings but it was a fun ride. Thanks for taking the time to write.

Well done, well written. Interesting exploration of the possibilities, the emotions, the anguish.

Good job! The original version still, all these months later, mesmerizes me and I re-read it often. These alternate endings (middles) are very interesting and will also be re-read often as I work through what it is that captivates my attention. I still would have liked to see Kyle get his wrist broken when he grabbed Jim's shoulder.

Shows imagination and technical skill. But, you have to consider the readership here. The original story was an abortion...childish, implausible, replete with LW cliches.

very entertaining. the 3rd scenario was a dud, as you inferred to us loyal LW readers, but overall a very good read. Thank you for the first. More is in your future I hope

Frankly when I first read Conversations it reminded me so much of February Sucks (which by the way it does) I anticipated a number of sequels and follow-up. Yours is the first I recall seeing. I believe I've enjoyed all of your work so far and I did enjoy this one as well but I just didn’t feel it was up to your usual standards. I do encourage you to keep writing as I think you are talented and have a vivid imagination. Four stars

Not sure how I could stay with her after that. Damn well written though. Good for the doctor. I hope the incident gives her some peace.

She's not the only one with a bad taste in her mouth.

Very well written.

Fuck you.

Makes up for version 3. THAT woman is a keeper.

These endings were weak and didn't measure up to the original.

Your 1st alternative was the best, because it preserved the original mindset of Jill.

#2 & #3 were lame, because you introduced elements of the Jim &Jill relationship not consistent with the known setup...especially #2.

#4 was OK, in that it portrayed Jill as a loyal wife.

3***

Just stick with what YOU want to be the ending and be dammed. Trying to please different crowds just makes no one happy.

Hard to make the 'choose your own ending' thing work. Even though it's well-written, all the constant rewinding halted any forward momentum, and at the end, it's just one big haze of 'what if?'

Compared to the original story, they were a breath of fresh air. #1- plausable but unlikely because Doc wanted to relive the pain of her marraige ending dalliance in the original story. It didn't explain the reasoning but offered an excuse why she could tell her husband. #2 - Very plausible, at last a reason WHY. And due to guilt and being weak, hubby would give in to her. #3 - Very plausible but does not mesh with the original story. #4 - Least plausible, at least from the original story. But all four are a giant step forward compared to the original. Good job!

So far I've enjoyed your writing and the extensive comments are because of that and hopefully they will be taken as constructive. Some have reacted positively to my comments, others not so, either way thanks for these attempts at alternate endings.

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Please correct the attributed author's name - 'Tnicoll' not 'tnicholl'.

2 reasons, 1) as much as in real life, it's their name, it's one of the few things I do my best to get right. 2) It will help no end if someone is looking for the original.

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Watch for your spacing. Always at least one space after a full stop (some prefer what is now an older fashion of 2 spaces, be consistent though). I noticed this only in your italics.

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Speech marks - When someone starts speaking, the opening letter is always a capital and you do not close them until a person has stopped talking. If it carries over multiple paragraphs, open the speech marks at the start of every one, but do not close them until the very end of their talk.

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Watch for name changes, Toni became Tori and in the car first time, her surname was changed from Adams to Black

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"In that instant I knew two things. First my marriage was over, no matter what happened in the next five minutes, we were done."

By the end of the 1st part I knew Jim was more mouth than trousers... The trouble with follow ups, you need to make sure you cover all the original plot points up to where you diverged. I think you would have done better? Had it easier? If you had diverged a little earlier.

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Part 2

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Still calling Toni Tori...

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A complete change of premise, the original was the question of what if a LW of x years got hit by the MSR, not about her having a marker...anyway...

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Switching POV, some people hate, I'm okay with so long as it's clearly delineated. That said, I'm not crazy on switching from 1st to 3rd person, it has to be done very well. Switching from past to present tense without things clearly moving from what we already knew was a flashback to now is an absolute no no.

Something happened in Sugarloaf Key, a time warp of sorts? You keep kept moving from past to present and back forward before again.

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Must admit I started a comment about him being discrete and her public humiliation of him, but you stopped me going further... I felt the confrontation conversation was far too quick and possibly those circumstances would have needed far more help and support than part 1.

Despite my comment about a change of premise, this part was a reasonable twist.

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Part 3

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Fifth wall?

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Hooray! She's Dr Adams again...and Toni! And back to Tori again...

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Short and to the point, though a CFO lecturing a Dr about honesty and openness?

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Part 4

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Back to Black...

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Jim would work with someone who had tried to seduce and even as a ploy to get a deal kissed his wife? Would Jill as a CFO really whore herself, even if it was 'just' a kiss? Notwithstanding the kiss was in sight of people at the party, if Jim, Toni and Tori (sorry, couldn't resist) all saw it, I'm sure others did too.

The kiss is obviously a new one on Jim and no amount of sweet talking is going to stop his head wondering just what Jill gets up to if she thinks it's okay to kiss for a chance to get a deal....

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The last 2 fell very flat and felt like you were trying too hard to throw a couple more ideas out without fully following them up.

Wonderfully conceived and executed. LW can be a mean site, trolled by the anger and jealousy of damaged readers on an impossible quest to satisfy their hate. But don’t be discouraged. I vote based on my visceral reaction, and that vote is a solid 5*.

You offer three good choices. Number one is probably most realistic. I could see that happening. Number 2, not so much. I don't think a selfish bitch wastes time and money finding him, and a damaged man doesn't take her back. Number 3 makes him just another cuck and she remains a whore. Number 4 is my favorite, and the one I'll stay with. Good work.

You got your name right! Boring and dull!

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I would have liked a version of him decking and destroying the guy, in front of all the people, a little stomping wouldn't have been bad either.

Just dumb.

Write one story at a time.

If someone says something was unrealistic, they're trying to help you. It means you weren't convincing. Nobody's expecting Great Literature here and you're free to ignore criticism, of course. But some of the re-envisionings of, say, February Sucks were actually more plausible and therefore more engaging than others.

The last part I like the best. Just for the fact that she has the knowledge and principle to rise above bodily needs and keep in her mind whats important to her such as her marriage and family.

Great job, but the last one is the hands down winner. The cuck one was a bit lame though.

thanks for your creativity and work. Do correct your error of changing Dr. Adams to Dr. Black.

What lujon2019 perfectly summarized.

2**

Something for everyone... good tale, if a little confusing at times with the addition of extra information (deus ex machina).

4/5 as Rittenhouse never got the comeuppance he deserved.

A little bit for all and sundry.....

Scores 3/5

Wow, after a year away she comes to him and apologizes and he forgives. Yes, he was a cheater, but I agree with him that to wait all these years and then publicly out him and say what she was doing was over the top.

Very clever and innovative. Fun read. And good writing, and dialogue. Keep on writing 5 plus

Some stories don’t warrant continuations and this is one of them. Most alternative story endings add nothing to the original or detract from it. These endings are among them.

GREAT resets.... you missed ONE, that I will probably write.

1 star - I hate this multi-plotted story endings, using someone else's primary story.

To me this is just another 'February Sucks' wanna be, and that story was just horrid.

Great job. All 3 very creative options. Loved the out of nowhere claiming the marker best

Got that out of your system? Multiple endings without committing to one? Weak sauce.

This was an interesting exercise...a fun read. Thanks

REDICULOUS !!!

Hmm, a couple of interesting ones, a couple of shitters too though.

With respect to option #2, Jill would need to demonstrate her husband is number one in her life by humiliating her lover in just as public a manner as she did her supposedly beloved. How she manages to do this is her responsibility to conceive and carry out. Once it is done, as evidenced by broadcast or published local news coverage, can she apply for forgiveness and reconciliation. Until then, she's just another slut looking to avoid responsibility for her actions.

Interesting exercise and being a cuckold, I wish the Riders on this website would actually mix a little reality with their feverish fantasies. As a retired Leo with 29 years Street Experience, all the husband would have had to do to stop the situation at the gala event would be screaming out very loudly, help help this man is going to rape my wife I've been told he's going to try to rape my wife. I guarantee you as soon as the word rape is uttered and the husband pulls out his cell phone and says I'm down in 911 right now, I guarantee you the night is over for the scumbag doctor. I've actually seen this maneuver work excellently on several occasions at crowded parties or get togethers at fancy hotels. As for the Kyle ritten houses of the world, for all you real men out there who don't put up with this b*******, I guarantee you a guy like that always gets his do. My last 7 years on the job I was in Robbery Homicide, and I didn't work very hard on the last three cases since they were scumbags like the character portrayed in this story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah but the douchebag lothario still hasn't gotten holy hell rained down on him.. All this story did was find some justification for his actions and make him out to be a decent guy which he isn't.

Nah, I'm a troll and will not be satisfied until a sequel is written where Kyle suffers a painful and long lasting death for his evil actions and Jill, after suffering estrangement from her family for five years, finally commits suicide for her callous premeditated actions.

Yep.

A disaster.

If you can change the caption then Add there-"not worth the time".

I liked the 1st one the best. While the author can take a story where he/she wants to, if writing a sequel, at least make it somewhat following the original. However, the part with the business propersition is terrible; the idea of the 3-some is even worse. Nowhere is that even suggested.

---Having said that, in none of the parts (& I'm disappointed in that) does Kyle get any retribution. At all. Also annoying- doctor, for all her hurt, says that she'd return to the scumbag in a moment's time. I also don't like that her husband's talked into not disrupting their dance. When security comes to stop him, he just has to yell at his wife if he leaves without her, she's gone. Or to security (of course, his phone's recording) that they're implicit on Kyle seducing his wife & breaking up their marriage. But that he suffered nothing in any form is not acceptable to me.

--- Sorry, but all I can give this, at most, is 3 stars. Bob

Don't mess with Kyle Rittenhouse. Better yet, don't be an idiot and use real people's names in your sh*tty stories, especially if they're a Based Chad like the RL Kyle Rittenhouse.

#1 was the best, and most faithful to the original characters.

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#2 was awful because it introduced a fact — Jim having cheated previously — that was nowhere even hinted at in the original. Thus, it completely changed the storyline.

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#3 was OK, but boring.

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#4 was rather silly. Again, it presupposed something not hinted at in the original, and thus really was not a faithful sequel.

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3 ***

gave it 4 cuz, personally, i thought the 3rd sucked. To each their own,. That said, nice tales, well written and paced. Thank you for you time and talent. DMW

My favorite is if Kyle puts his hand on the guy to turn him after the public spectacle would be a very hard right heel of the hand to the nose. A good chance that ends it all for him

Nah it should go something like "Kyle, two things. First, take your hands off of my wife and second, if you don't wipe that stupid ass smirk off your face I will." Then Jim knocks the pretty off his face with the heel of his hand.