Mara & Cassandra - Exploring Desire

Mara and Cassandra had seen each other in the hallway, after class had been dismissed. Both were senior English majors at University. It had been the first time they locked eyes. Mara regularly noticed Cassandra's plump breasts poking out of the tight ribbed sweaters she wore -- the kind that covered everything, but were tight and left much to the imagination. Sometimes she wore them without a bra, and Mara would catch herself fantasizing about how it would feel to have her nipples in her mouth, sucking on them the way she sucked on her gum during class...

She was never sure if Cassandra noticed her. Both her and Cassandra, it seemed, shared qualities of being a bit stand-offish. They had different friend circles -- she often saw Cassandra laughing with hers. However what intrigued her about Cassandra was the way she would catch her walking alone or sitting on a bench reading a book. She liked to be in her own world, or travel to others in her mind. Mara liked that, as she was a kindred spirit. She guessed the reason they never talked was because they shared only one early morning class together. Sitting on opposite sides of the room diagonal from each other, Mara sat in the very back where she could see Cassandra's profile and the outline of her breasts from a few rows above while Cassandra sat in the second row from the front. The seating arrangement that gave Mara the perfect albeit slightly voyeuristic view of Cassandra had not been intentional.

Nonetheless, it was not until that day in the hall where they locked eyes that Mara had ever noticed Cassandra looking at her in return. It was strange and unexpected that when they had locked eyes, Mara could tell that Cassandra's face turned slightly blush. Mara could feel hers doing the same. The gaze lingered slightly and both seemed to quickly turn their eyes away.

...

The next day, after class was released, Mara was taken aback that Cassandra was waiting outside the classroom for her. At first, Mara walked by--avoiding eye contact the way she did when she felt shy and awkward--but then she felt a hand lightly press where her collarbone met the top of her shoulder. She turned around and there was Cassandra. It took all Mara's concentration in that moment not to look down at Cassandra's breasts--teasing behind a tight ribbed sweater--from this close up. "Hi," Cassandra smiled. "Hu- hi", Mara stuttered slightly, her voice giving away how nervous she was.

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab a coffee at the café with me?" Cassandra said. "We have been in classes together all this time and never properly gotten to know each other. I.. I think you are really pretty by the way," Cassandra added ever so slightly seeming flustered at the end.

Mara could not believe that Cassandra knew who she was or that she thought she was pretty. Mara felt herself blushing. Damnit, she was giving herself away. She regained composure over her nerves. "Umm, yeah, I would love that. Are you free this afternoon?" Mara replied. Cassandra seemed relieved, as if she had taken a risk somehow asking Mara this question and she was glad it had not led to embarrassment. "Yes, yes -- this afternoon is perfect. How is 2 o'clock sharp?" "2 it is," Mara smiled somewhat sheepishly. God, why am I so awkward, Mara thought. "Great", Cassandra said before walking off down the hall.

...

Fuck fuck fuuuuuuuck Mara heaved while touching herself in the shower. It was 12:30 and she was getting ready to meet Cassandra. Since their last encounter, Mara could not help but suppress feelings of intense desire for Cassandra. She felt sort of ashamed...Cassandra was most likely asking her out as a colleague or friend while Mara had been secretly harboring sexual feelings for her all semester long. She did not even know if Cassandra was straight or not. Heck, she did not even know what she was. She had been with guys before, only ever actually feeling anything sexually or romantically for a very select few, and had made out with a few girls. But really, she had always had a desire for women as early as she could remember. The sexual feelings had resurged in sudden intensity with the start of the semester and Cassandra's tight sweaters.

Mara had almost forgotten she was bisexual until Cassandra came along and reminded her. Mara sighed... there was a certain degree of defeat within her when it came to her sexuality for women. It was more difficult and many of her friends (which later came out as bicurious) had loved to talk about hypothetical situations with girls but denied her when she was figuring it out for herself. She later learned these friends were scared of their own sexuality and it had nothing to do with her. But she would be lying if she said she hadn't been wounded or fearful of her own desires through these experiences. It felt taboo to be bisexual and not just bicurious when it came to having fun with a girl. But to really want it the way she did. It felt even more taboo because she knew she could love and deeply desire a man as well. And she enjoyed the way she felt so feminine and safe with a man -- until she didn't that was. She really desired men too. It was all so confusing. Which did she choose? She had always strayed towards men because it seemed to be easier. But why did she always feel like she was missing something?

...

Mara and Cassandra met at the café. Mmmmm. Cassandra was wearing a new sweater this time, a light baby blue which looked beautiful against her golden skin and her sandy brown hair. She was not wearing a bra, that was apparent from the way her nipples poked through the fabric. This is why Mara had touched herself before their meeting. She had been sure that if she did not, it would be hard to remain composed and not get all wet and tingly the way she even did in class sometimes just looking at her and those beautiful perky breasts. B cups going on a small C cup she guessed. Mara herself was an A cup going on a B cup but was known to have juicy butt cheeks that always got her stared at. Mara had olive-like yet pale skin and brown hair. A bit darker in shade than Cassandra's sandy brown. A waitress came up and they both ordered coffee.

While waiting for the coffee they started chatting and they found they had lots in common. "Wait, you also grew up wanting to be a writer?" they chuckled. The coffees came and they both sort of paused to sip their coffees. They looked down at their coffees and back up. When they did their eyes met but in a more unspoken sultry way. Was Cassandra hitting on her? Or was she making it all up, Mara thought to herself.

"So, umm, are you dating anyone?" Mara asked casually -- her way of scoping out the purpose of their rendezvous. Cassandra huffed and gave a slight eye roll. "No -- you?" Mara blushed slightly and shook her head. She looked up and smiled "I kind of think I am broken when it comes to dating." This seemed to pique Cassandra's curiosity but perhaps concern her a little. "What do you mean?" Cassandra asked. Mara instantly regretted saying anything. "It's just... I don't know, I have been questioning lately whether or not I am completely straight and it just makes me feel sort of defective."

This seemed to stir something in Cassandra. Her eyes went soft. She reached out her hand and touched Mara's. "Look at me," Cassandra said, wrapping her fingers around Mara's palm gently. "You are not broken. You are beautiful. So don't you think you are defective for one second. You are like the smartest person in our whole class. I can't help but listen to every word you say when you raise your hand."

At first Mara felt herself resisting what she was feeling. It was difficult to allow herself to be seen like this. But she loved how understanding and empathetic Cassandra was. She did not realize she needed that in this moment. So she let herself soften and receive it. "Thank you," Mara smiled softly.

"What about you," Mara started. "Is it okay if I ask what your orientation so to say is?" Mara kept her eyes fixed sort of downward on her coffee as she said it, bracing herself for Cassandra to be lighthearted in bringing the news she was not into girls the way Mara had experienced it with all her--later to come out as bicurious--previous girl friends. Mara looked back up from her coffee, slowly and nervously.

"I am into pretty girls," Cassandra trailed off before quickly backtracking and saying "I mean, I am pretty into girls, haha. I mean pretty girls too..." Cassandra laughed it off. Mara laughed too. Mara said, "well, it is nice to meet someone else who is you know... figuring it out." Cassandra nodded her head in agreement. "I am so glad I met you. I sort of can't believe we haven't gotten together before." She looked down at her watch, leading Mara to do the same. Her next class was in 15 minutes. Cassandra's apparently was too, because she said, "I have to get running to my next class, but--" she paused and jotted something down with a pen on her napkin. "here is my number. Text me your name and let's keep talking." On her way out, Cassandra squeezed Mara's shoulder and gently sort of let her finger brush Mara's hair.

So she wouldn't forget (who are you kidding, like she could), Mara texted Cassandra her name so she would have Mara's number on her way to her next class. Cassandra "hearted" it. Mara and Cassandra went about their days, Mara thinking back to how nice the coffee date was. Would they get together again, she caught herself thinking? But quickly dampened the thought, not wanting to rush or assume anything. That night around 9 pm as Mara had just slipped into bed with her book, she heard a little "ding" from her phone. She checked her phone and saw she had gotten a text from Cassandra. "Good night beautiful," she sent with a little cat kissy face emoji. Mara blushed and texted back a moon and kiss face emoji.

...

The next evening around the same time Cassandra texted her a meme from a movie about being bored. Mara decided to take a chance and ask, "do you feel like coming over and hanging out a bit?" Almost instantly Cassandra texted back "yesssss, that would be amazing." So, Mara sent her address and Cassandra said she would let her know when she was on her way. This time, Mara did not want to touch herself before Cassandra came over. Not because she was expecting anything but because she was tired of living in her fantasies and using them as a way to hide.

When Cassandra knocked at her door, Mara opened it with a warm smile. "Hey, come on in." Cassandra walked by her with a whiff of vanilla scented perfume or body spray that was intoxicating. Cassandra turned around and looked at her, while wiggling off her jacket -- revealing a sexy yet comfortable nightgown looking dress with a cardigan over it. Funny, Mara was wearing something similar but in a different color and style.

"I am so glad you asked me to come over -- I have been feeling so lonely studying and living by myself. I love not having a roommate and living off campus, but sometimes I really miss the company of a good girl friend." Cassandra said, and pulled a bottle of wine from her tote bag. "I completely relate," Mara said, gesturing to her empty apartment where she clearly lived alone, besides with her cat. "I'll get us some glasses," Mara said and made her way over to her little kitchen corner. She liked to keep the lighting dim in her apartment, which was illuminated with fairy lights and candles. She had a little lamp that brightened the room just enough to keep it from looking too cryptic. Mara was your standard witchy introverted senior English major who loved to pour over literature and imagine the kind of writer she would one day be.

As Mara was getting the wine glasses, Cassandra came up to the counter and leaned her head sideways on her arms, looking so graceful and adorable as she patiently watched Mara. Mara enjoyed the comfort of Cassandra's eyes on her and the silence -- like they did not need words. Mara had always liked comfortable silence, but found few who she could truly share it with. That is something Mara had learned about people. Most people felt the need to make something out of what they perceived as nothing instead of sitting in the moment and allowing it to guide them into what was. Words were like a blanket that could create beauty and meaning but they could also be a safety blanket that detracted from the beauty and meaning unfolding right here in the present. She liked that Cassandra was a kindred spirit in this, which she could tell simply from her actions.

Mara set the wine glasses on the counter next to Cassandra, and Cassandra nonchalantly lifted the wine bottle and poured wine in their glasses in a fluid and graceful movement. They cheered, lightly tinking their crystal wine glasses together and taking a little sip each. "Come, let's sit over there in my little reading nook," Mara said, pointing to a flattened futon couch and little bookshelf with throw blankets and pillows around it. Cassandra walked over and sat down, and Mara sat next to her. Instantly, Cassandra started scanning the books on Mara's shelf, running her index finger lightly along the spines. "This is one of my favorites," Cassandra said. "I must have read it about twenty times," Mara shrugged. Again, she felt so seen by the way Cassandra seemed to like to study everything about her in her environment the way she had at the café.

Sitting so close to Cassandra, Mara felt herself wanting to inch a little closer so their thighs were touching. If Cassandra minded, she did not let on at all. In fact, she seemed to let herself melt into Mara a bit more, ever so slightly leaning her side onto Mara's. Mara could smell the light scent of coconut lavender in Cassandra's sandy brown hair. Slightly above Cassandra, she found her eyes trailing down the lines of Cassandra's neck, tracing the lines of her collarbone until she eventually reached her breasts -- her cleavage raising and falling slightly with Cassandra's breathing. It was right then that she realized Cassandra was looking at her, well, checking her out.

Embarrassed, Mara quickly diverted her gaze and felt her face begin to blush. She started to move her body away from Cassandra as if she had done something wrong. But she felt Cassandra take her hand in hers and place it on her breast. Her hand over Mara's, she guided the motions of slow soft circles as she made Mara's hand cup and gently grope a handful of her grapefruit-sized breast. Cassandra sighed as if it felt really good and Mara found herself inching back closer. "It's okay," she said to Mara. "I like you looking at me in class. I can feel the intensity of your gaze on me," Cassandra said. "I have thought about this too." At that, Mara couldn't help but let out a little gasp and put one of her legs over Mara's lap, somewhat straddling her as she cupped Cassandra's breasts more intensely now. Next thing she knew, Cassandra's hands were in her hair and she was kissing Cassandra's neck, her hands on both of her breasts now, pulling down her nightgown top.

Cassandra ran her fingers on the edge of Mara's jaw and lifted it slightly towards her, beginning to flower her hands on Mara's breasts and kiss her softly on the lips. Now they were both touching each other's breasts over their nightgowns and softly making out. Her hands and Mara's gently reached under each other's nightgowns and touched the bare skin of each other's nipples.

At this, Mara moaned in pleasure into Cassandra's mouth who also moaned. Feeling the hard little nipples she had imagined sucking on every day in class for so long underneath her fingers, Mara gently broke their tongue kissing and trailed kisses down Cassandra's neck, collarbone, and breasts. Pulling down the top of Cassandra's nightgown, she engulfed one of Cassandra's nipples in her mouth and started running her tongue around it. It turned her on so much that Mara's hips started slightly thrusting into Cassandra's and she found herself lost in the ecstasy of sucking Cassandra's nipple. She moved to the other, while using her hand to cup and rub the one she had just taken in her mouth. At this point, Cassandra was moaning and thrusting her hips too.

Sucking on her nipples, Mara felt a warm wet liquid start to seep out between her legs and tingle in her crotch. She began to moan as she kept licking and sucking, loving to feel Cassandra liking it, breathing and moaning. Somehow, Mara ended up on top of Cassandra while sucking on her breasts and the both of them were sort of dry humping (even though it was definitely not dry down there). As she burrowed her face into Cassandra's breasts still sucking and humping, she felt Cassandra's hands begin to rub her pussy and spread her vulva underneath her panties. "You are so wet," Cassandra whispered, gasping in between words. Mara started to moan slightly and softly as Cassandra began rubbing her vulva in circular motions. She felt Cassandra's hand reach into her panties and felt her fingers edge the wetness of her lips and clit slowly poking out.

Cassandra's finger slipped inside the slit of Mara's lips and suddenly more than one finger started rubbing slowly up and down the slit of Mara's vulva where it was so wet and sensitive. Mara was worried she could almost come from how erect she was. Cassandra's hand rubbed her clit and vulva in steady up and down motions while Mara was slightly thrusting into it, increasing the intensity of how damn amazing it felt.

As she moaned, she stopped sucking on Cassandra's nipples and they started kissing on the lips again. Their tongues reached into each other's mouths, curling around each other and making out. This time, Mara reached her hand down under Cassandra's nightgown and rubbed over her panties, which were soaking wet. Mara pressed down and made circular motions, teasing Cassandra over the panties.

Then, Mara slipped her hand into Cassandra's slit and spread her lips. She was so wet it made Mara moan to feel. Mara mirrored the up and down motions Cassandra was making on her clit and in between her vulva, rubbing Cassandra's wet delicious pussy up and down and making her moan. The two of them laid on the couch kissing, moaning, groaning with pleasure, and rubbing each other's pussies as they thrust into each other.

At some point, they had started undress each other, pulling off each other's nightgowns and panties. Now, Cassandra sat up and pulled Mara up to sit too. They sat across from each other, naked. Cassandra rubbed Mara's hair and kissed her slowly and passionately, rubbing her breasts with one of her hands. She pulled Mara closer to her and, even though it was a bit awkward with their legs at first, positioned Mara and herself so that their legs were intersecting and their wet pussies were half-an-inch from touching.

At this point, Cassandra and Mara began rubbing each other's pussies with their hands while kissing and making out. They began thrusting closer to each other and then moved their hands up to each other's breasts until it was just their wet vaginas rubbing up against each other. It was indescribable ecstasy, the feeling of two throbbing wet pussies rubbing against each other. They both sorted of leaned back and used their arms to prop themselves up as they scooted closer together, the focal point on their pussies now.

They pushed them harder and closer into each other and slowly grinded against each other's vulvas and clits which were just drenched in their wetness now. As they scissored, Mara felt herself heaving and getting close to coming. "Aaaaahhhhhhh, Ca -- Cass -- Cassandra, uuhhhhh, you're gonna make me come," Mara moaned as her breathing and thrusting accelerated. Cassandra and Mara grinded their pussies harder against each other until they both started to climax in rhythmic unison.

Their clits started pulsing and pushing harder into each other and the thrusting of their grinding wet pussies got intense as they moaned and orgasmed. They looked at each other while orgasming and scissoring, and then Mara couldn't help but lean into Cassandra to grab a handful of her hair and kiss her while she finished.