March Madness

I got back in my car and headed back to the arena. It was nearly time for practice to start. Before I'd been interrupted, I'd figured out what the issues before me were, I just needed to figure out what I wanted to do about them.

I guess the biggest one was my marriage. Gloria and I had been together for ten years. They'd been very good years. I was lost without her. Even now, I felt like I was operating on automatic pilot. I felt hurt and betrayed but was that enough to simply throw away a good marriage?

How much of my pain was ego? Was I really angry or was I just jealous? Was I afraid of the competition? Was all of this because seeing my wife getting fucked by two younger men who were better physical specimens, made me feel inadequate?

What about my team? What did I want to do there? That part was easy. They'd betrayed me so they had to pay. And they would. I'd already worked out how.

I guess it all came down to basketball. It was a simple game with simple rules. If you broke the rules you got punished. If you were overly aggressive you got called for a foul. An extremely aggressive foul could get you thrown out of the game. The question was, did Gloria deserve to be thrown out of the game or just punished?

My daddy always told me that in most difficult situations, the right thing was usually the thing that was the hardest to do.

Every fiber of my being, told me to find some way to forgive Gloria AND my team. I've often said that I owe Gloria my life. And in a way, I owe my professional success and the life of my career to my team. But that didn't mean that I owed either of them my self-respect or my sanity.

I thought again about Jerry Atrick. He was a great coach. He'd spent his entire career without ever doing what I'd done this year. But he'd died happy and surrounded by friends and people who loved him. Right now I was a big success but did I have even one person that I could really count on and trust? I had to truthfully answer that I didn't. When the chips were down they'd all let me down.

The only thing I could do was to start all over again and find people that I could count on. Instead of preaching at my players and trying to find the best strategy to win at any cost, I had to start making sure they understood that the most important things were to just do the best you could with what you had. Sometimes an honest to goodness loss when you gave it your best was better than an underhanded win.

I made a couple of calls back to Michigan in the parking lot of the arena. The first person I called was Sheila. She was surprised to hear from me. I asked her when the funeral was. She told me it was Saturday and asked if I wanted her to say anything for me.

I told her that I'd say it myself because I'd be there.

"Jim, Saturday is the final four," she said.

"I'll be there," I said. "Whether we win this game or lose it, I'll be there. Jerry's funeral is far more important than any basketball game. If it was the championship game, I'd still be there to see Jerry off." There was silence over the phone for a few moments.

"Well then you need to write something to say, because you're doing the eulogy," she said. "We're having a party afterwards at our house to watch the game. That's what Jerry would have wanted," she said. "Maybe you and Gloria could come to that as well."

"I'll be there for sure. But Gloria and I probably won't be together, Sheila. "I'll see you soon." I hung up and felt better. The next call was to my lawyer back home. I had him prepare the divorce papers and I told him that I'd need them done as quickly as possible. I also asked him to put notices in the newspapers both here and back in Michigan stating that I was not connected with nor was I responsible for any debts incurred by Gloria. After thinking again about what Jamal had said, I was sure that Gloria was mixed up in something.

I got out of my car and went into the arena through the back exit. As I got close to the doorway, I hear footsteps behind me. I looked up and saw Joel and Igor headed my way. I showed my pass and went past the guard. When I got to the practice area I told the guards there that it was a closed practice and no one was allowed in except for people on the list. He showed me the list and I immediately crossed off the names of my starting five. I slipped inside the door and watched as Igor and Joel were denied entry.

"But it's a team practice," said Joel.

"Sorry, dude, you're not on the list," said the guard. "Can you autograph this shirt for my kid before you go?"

As I went in, several members of my staff were already there. There were about fifteen players there too. Not one of them had picked up a ball or was warming up."

"Get off of your asses and get ready to play," I yelled. They looked at me like I was crazy. A couple of them who were my substitutes jumped up and grabbed balls. The rest of them kept doing what they were doing.

I went over to Al and grabbed his whistle. I blew it loudly enough to scare the shit out of everyone in the room. The fat kid on the bleachers near me dropped his phone and broke it. I was sure I saw moisture creeping down his legs.

"Uhm, coach I need five minutes in the locker room," he said.

"Take ten," I said. "...The rest of you, line up for shooting drill."

"But...uhm why?" asked one of the guys. "It's not like we're going to play or anything."

"All of you will be playing in tomorrow's game. And when we win, you'll all be playing in the final four. Maybe even the championship game."

There was laughter all over the floor. Even my assistant coaches were looking at me like I was crazy.

"Oh, I get it," said Al. "You're going to rotate them all through the game with each one getting a minute or two. It's kind of a reward for the season we're having. And they'll all get to tape the game and have something to show their kids years from now when they're all bankers or cops or plumbers, right? That's a really nice thing to do Jim; especially for the seniors."

Everyone was nodding their heads in agreement. "That's why the starting five aren't here," said one player, whose name I didn't even know, much to my chagrin.

"Yeah," said another. "We're here for a special intensive camp so we can learn how to play so we don't look stupid on TV. We have to learn how to dribble and shoot and all of that shit."

I realized two things then. The first was that we were in trouble. And the second was that this practice was going to take far longer than I thought.

I had Al and Jin line them up and start dribbling drills. Once we got five of them who were semi decent and could at least bring the ball up the floor without traveling, I moved them into a second group where we started learning how to pass. It was awful we had to go over things that the kids learned how to do in high-school and on the playground in grade school. I couldn't believe I had these guys on my team. It only went to show how much I'd concentrated on my starting five and winning games to the detriment of the rest of my team. I'd never make that mistake again.

We started practicing different types of shots and one of the security guards came into the room. He came over and told me that my wife was outside and wanted to see me. At first, I thought about telling him to send her away, but then I had a better idea. I told him that we were in the middle of something. I told him to ask her if she could wait ten minutes until we had a break and then I'd see her.

As soon as he headed out the door, I left through the locker room door. I went out the back and got into my car and drove over to the hotel. I took the elevator up to our suite and waved at several people who all wanted to wish me well.

Inside the suite I went through all of Gloria's things. There was nothing unusual at first, and then I found it. Gloria had always been very detailed. Like me she didn't keep the important stuff on a computer. I found a small notebook in her jewelry box with a bank account number and password. I logged onto the account using the password and found out that Gloria had almost a hundred thousand dollars in the account. I also noticed where she'd been betting on basketball games. Every time the team won, her wealth increased. The odds against our opponents tomorrow were ten to one. The odds against us winning were only four to one. Looking at the notebook Gloria had a number there that was circled. The number was three hundred thousand dollars. That was probably how much money she figured she needed to get away from me and live her life in the style that she wanted.

According to her notes though, Gloria had bet more money than she had in the account. Under normal circumstances, it would have been a dangerous but relatively secure bet because we were clearly going to win this game. She'd planned on betting far more conservatively in the next game and had not even made a prediction towards the national championship game.

The fog was slowly lifting. Gloria was betting on the games and having sex with my players as an incentive to win. Some parts of it just made no sense though. How did all of this start? Why did all of it start?

I knew that I would never win any prizes for being the perfect husband. For almost half of the year, I was dedicated to my team. The rest of the year though, I always made it up to her. We'd been on vacations to any and every place that she'd ever wanted to see over the past ten years. I'd bought her everything she'd ever asked for and I was sure that she knew that if our life ever got too bad for her to handle, I'd have stepped down and taken a less demanding position.

The thing that bothered me the most about it though, was that she'd always been the one who urged me to do the things I did. In fact, I was a coach when we first met so she knew going into our relationship what to expect. Maybe it was just the years of it that wore her down. Still, all she'd have needed to do was to let me know. If I'd had the chance to choose between my job and Gloria, I'd have picked Gloria in a second.

Look at me now. Forget basketball, I was a basket case. I was running around plotting my own career suicide just to ease the aching in my heart. I had no clue of what I'd do next or where I'd end up, only that I had to do something to stop the pain.

It is always so easy to discuss what's right and wrong, when someone else is the one with the problem. It's easy to say, "Hey she has the right to do whatever she wants with her body," or "The only thing we're looking at here is your fragile male ego." Things like that are easy to say when it's not your wife or girlfriend pushing her ass back onto some other guy's dick.

I had to make up my mind what would be right for me. I couldn't do something to try and save everyone. This situation simply wouldn't allow for that. Sure it could have, maybe if I was more mature. Maybe if I was a more complete being and I was above all of the petty concerns about whether Gloria loved me or not, or whether I was better in bed than some twenty two year old athlete. But unfortunately, I'm not. I'm just a normal guy who doesn't know shit about women and what motivates them. Stephen Hawking once said that he has the highest IQ in the world but he still hasn't figured out women. I'm nowhere near his league when it comes to intelligence so don't expect me to understand them either. All I can say is that I really gave her the best that I could. I gave her all of my heart and every ounce of love I had. If it wasn't enough, fuck her, because she wasn't getting shit from me from now on.

As far as my team went, fuck them too. I'd plucked those bastards from obscurity, drudgery and jail. I'd brought them to the brink of being signed by the NBA. They would all have become famous and millionaires. But since I made them, I could break them just as easily.

The cool thing about this was that none of it would take very much effort on my part. I put Gloria's notebook back where it was and left the room. I took the rest of my clothing and personal items with me. That way I wouldn't have to come back here for any reason.

I went back to the arena. Al and Jin cornered me and asked me right away, what was going on.

"You should have seen Gloria, Jim," said Al. "She's always been really pretty, but you almost can't tell that she's the same woman I remember sitting in the stands behind us watching the game last night. I know she's your wife man, but she looked like hell."

Jin nodded. "You're acting weird too. What did you do?"

"Her eyes were all red and bloodshot," continued Al. "Her hair was a mess. It was like she just didn't give a damn anymore."

"Okay, get me two teams of five guys. We've spent enough time on drills let's give them some battlefield experience. You two guys line up as refs. Use whistles, the whole nine yards. Let's make this as close to a game situation as possible." If either man was put off by my quick dismissal, they didn't let on.

I finally let the guys go home at around eight o'clock. I'm sure it was a violation of some NCAA rules concerning the amount of allowable practice time but I didn't give a damn, I had to make this game at least look plausible.

I went back to the office, only to have one of our assistants drop off a ton of messages for me. Only one of them was worth answering. Gloria had left me fifty messages today alone. I dumped the entire pile. Millicent had called me twice as had Harriet. There was another stack of messages from my starting five. Most of them were telling me how desperate each of them was to see me or talk to me. They were also wondering why they had been barred from practice.

I got Al to handle the press conference and just give jovial but not serious answers to any and all questions. I called the Dean, Michael Martin back. It was an interesting conversation.

"Hi Jim," he said. "Thanks for returning my call. I know how busy you are. Let me get right to the point. You aren't planning on doing something stupid are you?"

"What are you asking me?" I said.

"Well, I know that something is going on between you and your wife," he said. "I heard about it from my wife who claims that she's trying to act as a go between. She says that Gloria is distraught and you're being an asshole about it. She says she can't go into it but you're being a Neanderthal because the girls had a little party and you still expect Gloria to be at your beck and call. She said that when they asked some of the guys who was right, even your team, the team that you built had to side with Gloria, so you're angry at them now and freezing them out too. Is any of that true?"

"Dean Martin, with all due respect sir, when I took this job you told me that I'd have autonomy in matters regarding my team. I have a reason for everything I do. So I'd prefer it if you'd just stay out of this one. I got us this far and I still believe I can take us farther," I said. But seriously, at this point I didn't care.

"Jim, I've got all kinds of boosters asking me questions," he said. "For the first time in my life people are asking to donate money to the program. A lot of that money can go on to do other things for the school. Frankly, I'm between a rock and a hard place. Please don't do anything to fuck this up."

"If I do, don't worry," I said. "You can just fire me. I'm sure after this year, I'll be able to go somewhere else and get a job. I've had more than a few offers."

I decided to drop off the tickets at Molly's apartment. I was going to do that mostly because I really couldn't remember where the bar she worked at was. When I found it yesterday, I was so pissed off about what I'd just seen that I'd just stepped into the first bar I found. When I left there, I was in no condition to remember anything more difficult than breathing."

Molly met me at the door, before I could slide the tickets under it. "So, how was your day?" she asked. "Wow, please don't tell me you're serious. These are tickets for not only your game but, all of the games left, including the championship game. Thank you so much, my dad will be pleased. This wipes out all of your debt to me. Well...except for that promise."

I looked at her sideways and she laughed. "So did you and the little woman make up?"

"Nope," I said sadly. "I found out some things that were going on that I had no idea about. I still don't know the whys about any of this but I just don't see us putting this back together. It hurt me too bad. There was simply no reason for it. We could have talked about anything that was bothering her. I mean think about it. All day every day, I have hot young cheerleaders shaking their asses in my face. I have reporters asking me questions and ball bunnies whether they're interested in the players or just tickets who are willing to do just about anything to get what they want. I have never even thought about taking any of them up on it because I thought I was in love. Shit, I was in love. And what did it get me? Not a God damned thing, that's what."

"Now, if I'd been going out there and tapping most of the ass that gets offered, I'd have been a dog or worse. Now I just feel like a sucker. I've got a good mind to just go out and screw the first woman that approaches me and send the video to Gloria to see how she feels," I said.

"Whoa," said Molly. "That won't make you feel better. It would probably make you feel worse. You'd just be trying to get into a fucking contest with a whore and she'd beat you with both experience and professionalism. She'd probably just do a gangbang with all of the sports teams from your school at the same time. Besides your first post-divorce sexual activity has already been spoken for, remember?"

From the way that she was smiling, I couldn't tell whether or not she was serious.

"Where are you staying tonight?" she asked. "I'll come by and check up on you to make sure you haven't gotten so drunk you couldn't get there?"

"Probably my office at the arena," I said.

"Okay that's settled," she said. "Give me your keys. I'm driving your car to work."

"Uhm, how will I get back to the arena?" I asked.

"You're not going back there," she said. "You're staying here with me."

"Molly you only have one bedroom. You stayed up all night last night. I couldn't expect you to do that again," I said. "It wouldn't be right."

"Who stayed up last night," she asked. "You and I slept in the same bed. I just got up before you did. Nobody got raped last night so it was fine. It'll be fine tonight too, keys."

I handed her my keys and she smiled. "I don't have any liquor here but you can eat anything you'd like. Well, there's something here that you're supposed to eat that I'm sure you'll like but I'm taking it to work with me." I could hear her laughing as she closed the door and left.

I looked around Molly's small but cozy apartment to get the lay of the land. An evening here was really just what the doctor ordered. It would give me time to think about my situation in depth. The first thing that struck me as funny was allowing Molly to just drive off in my car. I loved my Mustang, far too much to just let some girl I barely knew borrow it, yet I had.

Maybe I'm just too trusting. That's probably what got me into the situation I'm in now. I trusted Gloria with my heart and my life and she betrayed me. I trusted the guys on my team and they did likewise. The most confusing thing to me was that the person after Gloria that I was the angriest at was Jamal. I really had to think about that one. Jamal not only hadn't fucked Gloria or so he claimed, but he'd been the one who explained at least what he knew of the situation to me. Was I pissed at him because he was the messenger or was there something deeper?

I guess in my mind, Jamal was almost like a son to me. I'd spent almost three years building a team around him and I trusted him more than anyone in the world other than Gloria. I guess I thought that we were close enough that he'd tell me something like that. I mean I understood what being in love was like. Shit, I still loved Gloria. That was what made this whole thing so hard. I would never have risked what I had with Glo for anything. So maybe I was being unfair to Jamal. Jenny was Jin's pride and joy. He'd even named the girl after himself. Jamal was doing well in school. He was the one guy on the team who hadn't wasted his college career. Besides excelling in the sport he was a good student as well. He was by almost any account a fine young man. I just couldn't see Jin not eventually welcoming him as a son in law. But then everyone is different.