by SilverRRCloud
way too long......... make it shorter and cut out lots of the BS. Goo dstory but oh my God, way too long-
David
As if the story itself wasn't meager enough, the language was terrible. Loose the attitude and the ebonics-wanna-be phrases, and write your next story in normal English, OK?
Erotic fiction works best if the characters enjoy the sex & each other's pleasure. - Tops who just use women & other men as masturbation aids are boring story characters.
don't listen to the idiots. It's an awesome, hot story that I keep going back to. Write more like this.
I like the stories that are not so hard(no pun intended). I like happy endings!(again, no pun intended).