Marion's Story Ch. 17

Call it fate or luck but whatever you call it a flight to KC opened up and when we checked with April it was too late they'd already left and were half way to moms place.

With no connecting flights we managed to get one of the last rental cars in KC and we were on our way racing frantically to make it.

When we turned up the whole family was already there we were the last ones. When we walked in it was hug all around, well except Fred and me, it was a nervous handshake. Mom was ecstatic that we were all together. She loved Christmas but the last few had been fragmented with arguments between April Sandy and me, with Sue off travelling and me being off at school so this gathering made her so happy. The house looked amazing, her and Fred and I guess Bev had the place looking spectacular, a huge tree and lights, god so many lights. When I looked under the tree it was piled with gifts.

Our savior had been waiting for flights, while we were stuck in Boston we raided the stores so at least we didn't come empty handed.

Moll's and I locked ourselves in my old room as we frantically wrapped everything. Christmas eve we sat around singing carols and eating. Eating, eating and more eating, jeez mom cooked enough food to feed an army. Christmas day was mad, with Bev's kids spreading wrapping paper everywhere as they shredded open their presents.

We had been stuck trying to think of a gift for mom, we racked our brains but struggled, that is until I got a brain wave. I told Moll's about mom's preoccupation with Europe and before I could say anything she was at the desk cashing in all her frequent flyer miles and we had with a little extra cash a European holiday for Mom and Fred. We didn't want to play the big shots so we signed the card from the whole family.

Moll's managed to get time alone with Bev, April and Sue to explain before we placed it under the tree so they weren't blindsided. They all offered to put in for it but we refused.

Christmas morning was chaos with Bev's kids shredding wrapping paper as they opened their gifts and then it was slightly more relaxed as we opened ours. Watching moms face was amazing as each one of us opened our gifts, She was in seventh heaven as she saw the joy on everyone's faces. That's mom though selfless and kind. Hers were the last gifts opened and when she got to our little parcel she looked confused, I think she thought it was just a card, but when she opened it and saw the tickets I thought she was going to faint. Fred had to quickly grab her and hold her tight. In total shock she dropped and the envelope and the tickets fell out. She looked around the room with tears flowing and she cried, "We can't accept this, oh my dear lord, it's too much."

Molly and the girls hugged her as she slowly got her wits back about her.

Fred was blown away as well and he didn't want to accept, he agreed it was too much but with mom on cloud nine it was happening whether he wanted it or not and for the rest of the day it was all mom could talk about. She reeled of place after place she wanted to visit. I think it scared all of us because we knew next time we came home we would be sitting through hours and hours of photos and stories of their trip. Still it was amazing to see the beaming smile on her face.

The day was one of those incredible family days it was festive and fun, the gift exchange was unusual, Sue brought me the sexiest little lingerie set. I laughed as I held it up to look at and she said, "That's really Molly's."

"She won't fit into this!" I sniggered.

"She wasn't supposed to, she's just supposed to enjoy the view."

That made me blush. April brought Moll's and me matching diamond encrusted tummy button rings which meant getting pierced, but they were cool.

Of course we had drinks and it degenerated into a huge party. Late in the night Sue grabbed my hand and dragged me away to the treehouse. As we climbed up inside April and Bev were already there and the drinks were waiting.

We toasted to family, good times and the future. As we sat cross-legged throwing back the drinks Sue blurted out, "Marion, I hope you are happy with your life, I hope you didn't end up this way just because of us? I mean we were bitches to force you into playing dress up."

She was sitting beside me and I could see the worried expression on not only her face but Bev's as well, I slipped my arm around her shoulder and gave her a tight hug, "Sue, I don't know if this would have happened without you girls pushing me, but what I can say is I am happier than I have ever been. Maybe the music thing would have happened without all this but there's a chance it wouldn't have. I should really thank you."

Bev who sat on the other side of me reached over and kissed me, "Thank god, I have been so worried, when I saw you and Molly fighting I wondered if it was because you were uncomfortable with who you are."

I shrugged, "That I am afraid is who I am, I'm still uncomfortable in this skin."

April snorted, "Well you shouldn't be because damn it girl you look pretty."

We sank a few more drinks and agreed that we would try to do this as often as possible in the future. We all shared a few stories from our present life and I noticed April was uncomfortable and wanted to share something but she held it in swallowing whatever it was she was going to say.

It was the next day when I got the shock of my life. Molly and I were sitting out in the rockers enjoying the peace and quiet. She was curled up beside me, April and Sandy came out to join us sitting in the big settee across from us. April in rather a serious voice asked, "Can we talk?"

Shit, there's those words again...I don't care who you are nobody wants to hear those words, no good ever comes from it. There was no beating around the bush they dived straight in, "Marion, we want to have a baby."

Sandy smiled as the words spilled out of April's mouth. "Congratulations." I mumbled wondering how they were going to achieve that. Molly jumped up and dived into their collective lap with her arms wrapped around April's neck, slobbering kisses over both of them screeching her congratulations.

"When?" Moll's screeched..."Oh my god, a baby...wow...oh I can't believe it, damn I am so envious."

April smirked, "Well the timing is going to depend on you and Marion actually."

Molly gave her a dumb confounded inquisitive look.

April who had lost her smile sighed hopefully, "We want Marion to be the sperm donor."

Molly lost her smile as well, "What..." She hissed.

April's voice softened and she barely whispered, the words tumbling hesitantly from her mouth, "Marion we want you to be the father to keep the bloodline going. That way we can truthfully say our child will be from both our families."

When she saw the look of panic and horror on Molly's face she added, "Sandy is going to carry it, so I wanted a connection to our family." April mumbled slowly, almost apologetically.

Molly sat bolt upright and I could see she wasn't happy, oh no, not at all and there was a look of complete confusion on her face, she was for the first time in her life speechless.

Stunned but proud I mumbled, "Um yeah of course, I can try but you know I have taken female hormones over the last couple of years so I don't even know if I'm capable, but yeah I can try, just tell me what I have to do?"

April smiled broadly at my offer of help and she said, "Yeah of course you will have tests, you will have to have a whole bunch of tests and of course donate the sperm."

Seeing an opportunity to lighten the moment I chirped, "We could do it the old fashioned way you know?"

Surprisingly April laughed, "Don't worry we did talk about that very thing and Sandy was pretty keen...too enthusiastic if you ask me." Sandy smiled teasingly, coquettishly, and Molly poked me in the ribs, and not a friendly poke either.

There was a long drawn out pause before Molly screeched out caustically, "No...no, no, and Hell no, that's not happening."

A cold heavy cloud settled over us as Sandy and April exchanged worried glances before Sandy whispered, "Molly, we were joking, all we want is Mi to donate some sperm."

Molly got up off their lap and walked over to flop back in the rocker beside me and as she rocked back, she rasped, "Shit, I always wanted us to be the one to keep the family name alive, I'm sorry I don't feel right about this, I mean shit you're brother and sister."

April sighed sadly, "Yeah but Sandy and Marion aren't related and she is going to carry it. That's why it's important to me, if we get a random donor there will be no connection to our family only Sandy's"

As I reached for Molly's hand I watched as little tears formed and her eyes glistened."

April and Sandy held hands as well and Sandy whispered, "Molly I know this is a lot to ask and we didn't expect an answer straight away, please just think about it." They got up and wandered off hugging. I think we were all shocked by Molly's reaction. She was so free with her sexuality I didn't see what the problem was but I could see she was deeply upset by the mere thought of it.

As we sat and rocked, I asked, "OK Moll's, spill...what is the problem?"

She sighed, "Shit I don't know...I don't fucking understand this, jeez we were only talking about children ourselves the other day."

"Yeah, but you weren't serious, were you?"

She scrunched up her face, "I don't know Mi, I don't know why it upset me so much."

"You seemed pretty upset at the prospect of Sandy and me doing it for real."

"I know.... that's just crazy talk, I mean shit I remember you telling me how much you loved her, I'm sorry but it just hurt."

"Yeah, well that's pretty much how I feel when you talk about having sex with other people. It hurts."

She grimaced, "Jesus Mi I didn't know that, I guess I didn't realize, I have never experienced jealousy before, or even understood why people feel it. Believe it or not this is my first real taste and I have to say, I don't like it."

She jumped into my lap and we hugged.

A little while later Mom wandered out and saw us still cuddled together, "Well you two love birds seem happy."

When Molly glanced up at her she saw the tears and recoiled shocked, "Oh honey what's the matter?"

Molly leapt out of my lap into her arms and they hugged, mom glanced down at me and I shrugged with my eyebrows raised.

Mom held her tight and said, "c'mon sweetheart, let's go and I'll get you some cookies and a fresh glass of milk."

I sniggered as they walked away... "Cookies and milk ...mom's answer to everything."

The rest of the day was a chill out before we all went our separate ways. Mom and Molly seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time together in the kitchen with Molly making out like some kind of domestic goddess. Of course, we had to sample everything from cookies to cake.

It was later when we were alone Moll's apologized, "I'm sorry about freaking out, it just all took me by surprise. If you want to do it then you should do it."

I shook my head, "Nope, I'm not doing it while you feel like this. Moll's I know you well enough to understand you're not happy with this."

She hugged me, tears staining her face, "I want us to have babies first, I'm serious, I have done nothing but think about this. I think this is what has been upsetting me...I want us to have a baby."

"Sheesh...how the hell would that happen? I mean you're never home? You spend more time on airplanes than you do in our bed."

She nodded, "Yeah I know but lately I have been thinking a lot about what you said about being home more and I'll change. I will talk to Gloria when we get back and see if I can get some maternity leave. I promise I can change."

"What happens then? You go back to working sixty hours a week and I'm on tour."

She shook her head, "Nope, what I want to do is stay with the band, I'll be just the band manager and travel with you everywhere, you'll be sick of the sight of me."

"Ok then what about the next time Gloria or some other hottie wants to sleep with you or you want to sleep with them?"

She shook her head, "Nope, never again, this was a real shock for me, I never understood how much it hurt you, I had this weird notion that you were just scared, shy or something, now I know I promise I'll never hurt you again. Jesus Mi, I have been so selfish, so self absorbed. I let you down and that is never happening again, never!"

I snuggled up beside her, "OK I'll give April the bad news, they will have to find another donor."

"No babe, I want you to do it for them, it is the right thing to do. All I am asking is that we go first. They don't get your junk until we are pregnant. If they can wait a year then you can do it, I think you should do it. I understand why April wants it, if I was in her position I would want it...no I want you to do it."

The next day we sat with Sandy and April and gave them the news, at first, they were a little vexed but as we explained they came around and we made an agreement. If we didn't have our own child within a year then we would do it anyway so they could make arrangements.

Of course, there's more to having children than just sex. All my old insecurities resurfaced, sitting in front of the mirror adjusting my makeup before going out I wondered, 'How the hell was I going to be a parent? I'm just a man in a dress with fake tits, how the fuck was I going to be a father...or a mother? What was I going to be able to add to this....

As I strolled down towards the beach, I had a panic attack and had to rush back home.

When Molly got home there, I was curled up on the cushions tears still rolling down my face, my eyes red and bloodshot, makeup smeared all over my face.

"What the hell happened?" She shrieked as she sank down beside me and wrapped me in her arms, my head cradled against her breasts, "Molly this isn't going to work...I can't be a parent, I'm not a father, I'm not a mother....What the fuck can I do for a child?"

Tears streamed down her face as well, "Babe you can love our child just like I can, you will be a fabulous parent, forget all this stupid shit. You are beautiful, loving and kind...all the qualities that I want in our child. You can do everything any father can do only better, you can kick a ball, you can throw a baseball harder than most."

"Yeah, but what happens later when our child is old enough to know about this stuff, what then? They will hate me, how can they respect a man in a dress?"

Kissing my cheek with both her hands holding and squeezing my face she whispered, "Babe respect is something they will learn, we will raise them right, they will know and value life and people, straight, gay...whatever. Jeez babe look at your mom, she loves you and respects you, shit even Fred is proud as hell of you and god help anybody who says something bad about you when he's around because look out."

"Yeah, but she has to love me, she's my mom."

"No, she doesn't, Christ Mi, look at my folks, they kicked me out, and don't want nothing to do with me, your mom loves you because she's a wonderful mother...we will be like that and if our son or daughter grows up to be gay, then we will deal with it just like your mom. Think about it, what will Sandy and April have to offer that we can't? C'mon babes, you should be proud of who you are, shit, how many kids can say their parent is a world famous rock star."

As I tried to absorb and believe her words it struck me, "They...I muttered, what do you mean they?"

She laughed, "I want more than one, I want a brood just like your mom. I love your family so much I want the same, laughter love, tom foolery I want it all and most importantly I want a treehouse, oh god yes I want a house with a yard and definitely a treehouse."

I laughed, "Shit we would need two buses when we go on tour."

She laughed along with me, "I don't care if we have to hire a damn train."

Her words calmed the raging dragons of disquiet and disbelief raging within me, but even so it took a few days before I was ready to face the world.

With Molly's words ringing in my ears it was obvious that the apartment we now shared wasn't going to be suitable for a family that's for sure, we needed a house, or at least a bigger apartment. That search in itself caused a ruckus, getting agreement between us was harder than getting Gloria to agree to Molly returning to be just the band manager. She of course did other work that she could do from LA but at least the sixty hour weeks ramped down.

Sex...holy hell we had never done it this much in our time together, we made love, we fucked day and night and it didn't take long before it happened. I remember that day like yesterday, having just returned from a mini west coast tour I walked into the apartment to find Moll's in a very happy mood, the room filled with the aromatic aroma of food and my mouth watered as she hugged me tight spinning us both around like an out of control carousel.

The huge beaming smile lit up the whole room, "OK what's up?" I asked.

She kissed me with one of her long lingering swirling kisses, and she pulled out a little stick and waved it in my face, "Do you know what this is?"

I nodded slowly as my eyes bulged as I stuttered, "Does this mean what I think it means?"

Her lips returned to mine and she whispered sexily, "Sure does babe, we are going to be parents."

The night turned into a real celebration and Moll's was straight on the phone contacting everybody she could think of. Mom was ecstatic and I could hear her screech even though she wasn't on loudspeaker. April as well was screaming because she now knew that she was going to get her chance as well.

The girls in the band exploded in joy as expected and they started planning a party to celebrate.

It meant the search for somewhere to call home began in earnest. I wanted something semi-rural where we could have room to spread-out and I could have a recording studio and of course a treehouse.

Neither of us wanted to live in suburbia so we spread our net far and wide. The one thing we had in our favor is we weren't locked to a certain area, we just wanted some space. Finding the property we wanted in LA was impossible, well impossible unless we wanted to spend millions.

We did eventually find a property we liked. It was east of Sacramento, half way to Lake Tahoe. We weren't looking for property we were actually on a holiday and stumbled on it. The moment we saw it we both fell in love and put in an offer immediately. Yeah, it was a bit out of the way and Moll's was worried what would happen when she told Gloria but strangely Gloria was happier than we could have expected. She was happy for Moll's to work from home a bit more and it would make her available to work around San Francisco. It turned out to be a winning decision.

I did the deed for April and Sandy, in fact Molly came into the room and helped me out, she actually squeezed out the last drop. Two months later and our family had another pregnant member, well two more because Bev was pushing out another as well. Now there was only Sue who was holding out.

The birth was the most amazing experience, Molly suffered but the moment we had little Casey in our arms nothing else mattered. Molly's smile beamed, I had never seen such an expression of love and emotion. Our son was beautiful and our world changed forever.

Music...Ha, I loved music with a passion but holding that little boy in my arms I knew that was what mattered.

So, there you go, we had our new home, a bubbly bouncy baby boy and life couldn't have been better....

I down played the music but his birth also gave birth to several new songs all of which the girls hated. They weren't singing about birth and families and kids on stage. Oh well I put it in the folder for my solo album which I could now record at my own leisure in my very own recording studio.