Mark's Journal

I stood up pacing the room and my teeth started to grind. I wanted to hear a differing opinion than the one that Ember had given. I went up the stairs unaware of the fact that I was stomping on the steps until much later. Maybe it was the way I was doing it but it caught the attention of Carol. She was in the kitchen when I came up. She spun around and saw me.

"Woah, hon," she said holding up her hands, "you okay?"

I crossed my arms still stewing but seeing the concern on Carol's face, I couldn't hide it. I relayed everything that Ember had said to me.

"Pisses me off," I added after I finished the story, "why can't she be happy that I'm happy? Unbelievable!"

"And she thinks this is a pseudo-Oedipus Complex?" Carol asked waving her finger between herself and I.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Clearly she's never heard of survivor sex."

I cocked an eyebrow, "is that as it sounds?"

"Yes, it is," she explained bringing her hands to her hips, "you survive something horrible and want to experiencing things as if it's your last days on earth."

I had seen that expressed in several areas. Thinking about it that way did help matters in regard to not feeling as livid as I was before. Yet, being around Carol, I couldn't shake the creeping sensation of Ember's judgement of me. I couldn't hold in the question.

"Do you think she's right about us?" I asked. "Is this just a fling to get over our grief?"

I looked at Carol's face and saw the concern and uncertainty grow in her eyes. She came over to me, wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "I admit, Mark...at first...it did feel like a fling but in the time of us being together I've felt my lust couple with care for you. And I do realize how our relationship may seem like from the outside but...in the end, the one we have to ask about our relationship is each other and ourselves."

I felt myself relax in her arms and my arms wrapped around her waist. I looked into her eyes and saw the sweet welcoming glance.

"You have a point, Carol," I uttered.

"So, Mark," she began sounding flirty and wise at the same time, "what do you think? Is this a fling to you or is this more?"

I gave no hesitation in my answer.

"This," I said, "is far more than a fling. And I don't care what anyone else says."

"Good," Carol said before leaning in to kiss me. The kiss isn't just affectionate. There is a lustful passion behind it that I can feel coming forward like a great wave coming to the shore. I felt her body pressing up against me and pushing me to the nearby kitchen counter.

She pulled back and said taking on her playful submissive tone, "Now, Master, I have something to show you."

"What?" I asked.

Her smile had taken on a more mischievous appearance. She took my hand and led me from the kitchen, up the stairs, and to her bedroom.

"Please, sit," she said motioning me to the bed.

I sat down while she bounded off for the bathroom. Thoughts and arousal grew within me. I wanted nothing more than to get into the bathroom and just have her but I knew she had something special in mind. I knew this since she took on the same subtle glee that she would do when she had a surprise in mind. I saw her do that around birthday, Christmas presents, and even parties.

The door to the bathroom opened and out she came. She was completely naked except for one thing. It was around her neck. It was something lacy and frilly like a collar that one would find in a Gothic Lolita style fashion shop. She pranced in such elation from the door to where I sat. She came down on her knees in front of me in a formal submissive position.

"Do you like it, Master?" she asked being playful, coy, and submissive. "It's my old wedding garter. I found it earlier today while I was straightening my closet. I thought about how you want to collar me and I found that it stretches enough over my head for me to wear as a collar. Does Master like it on me?"

I admit, I had some conflicting feelings about it. First, there was the fact that it belonged to her first marriage. But it was cute and sexy at the same time. Then there was the fact that she's wearing it as a symbol of her consenting submission to me. Seeing her collared like that rose my arousal even more.

"Master?" she asked sounding concerned that time.

"It is cute, my submissive," I said reaching out to touch it. "But I would like to pick out a collar for you myself."

"I understand, Master," she nodded and stood up. She turned around and bent over showing the roundness of her ass and the full lips of her pussy. "Punish me, Master. Chastise me, if you like, for wearing this reminder of my old marriage."

She wiggled her ass in front of me in such a way that I wonder if she'd been practicing stripper moves. I reached out and cupped her buttocks and squeezed both cheeks.

"Is that what you want, my submissive?" I asked taking on my Dominant tone again.

"Yes, Master," she uttered sounding like she was holding back from climaxing. "Punish your submissive."

With one hand gripping one cheek, I lifted the other hand and brought it down in a swift spank. I loved the sound that my hand made against the skin of her ass. And I knew how much she loved it in the way she groaned and grunted with pleasure. I could even see how much her legs were shivering.

"More, Master," she begged, "punish me more!"

I pushed myself up onto the bed until I was sitting at the head with my back to the headboard. I looked and saw how she was holding her bent over position.

"Stand up and turn around," I commanded her.

She complied like a submissive who had been trained for years. Her face was downcast as if in shame but the smile on her face said otherwise.

"Come to me," I ordered her, "crawl on the bed and lay yourself face down across my lap."

I watched the way she crawled. It was full of seduction the way her hands and thighs moved while her head was still downcast. All I could see of her head was the crown of wavy brown hair that she had. Coming to my legs, her head was hanging above my crotch before she began to shimmy her way to the position I commanded. Her stomach was across my thighs, her arms were crossed while they held up her torso, and her buttocks continued to wiggle.

"Spank my ass, Master," she begged.

I could feel the heat from her pussy against my thigh and I could even feel a trickle of juices from her peach. She had positioned herself so that her buttocks was facing my right side. I smiled knowing how good of a submissive she was. My hand cupped her buttocks and I heard her take a sharp breath. I yanked my hand back and brought it down.

She let out another yelp and a sultry sigh.

"Tell me who you belong to with each spank, submissive," I ordered.

"Yes, Master," she acknowledged her voice sounding like she was shaking and loving each moment of it.

I spanked her again.

She yelped and uttered, "I belong to you, Master."

I spanked her again, this time I did it harder.

Her yelp was louder and I could see her legs thrash and her thighs started to rub together.

"Mmmmm," she grunted. "I belong to you, Master."

I spanked her even harder and she let out such a yelp that I wondered if someone would hear it and if I was doing it too hard. But it was followed by a low drawn out grunt and I could feel her body tremble on top of me. A sign that I knew very well. She had a marvelous orgasm.

"I belong to you, Master," she sighed, "I love you."

"Now, my submissive," I ordered, "take off your Master's pants and underwear, get a condom, put it on me, and mount me with your ass facing me so that I can fuck your pussy and spank you more."

"Yes, Master," she answered as if she had her greatest birthday wish answered.

When she pulled off my pants and underwear, my cock sprung out delighted to see her again. She smiled at it, then at me, and leaned in to kiss the head. She followed the rest of the directions to the letter.

Then came the final step, she took her position with her pinkened handprint covered ass facing me. She lifted herself, reached under to help my condom covered cock to make contact. I could feel myself sliding in and once again she let out that low hard grunt as if she was trying to take in all of my length and girth.

"I love my Master's cock," she sighed leaning forward, her hands on my ankles while she made her hips bounce up and down.

I reached out for her buttocks, my fingers dug into her soft pale and pink flesh. The mere touch of my fingers made her bounce her ass hard and faster. There was even a moment when she slammed her ass down and held it against my body and smothered it against my body before bouncing again. I let one hand go and spanked her again feeling the shockwave reach down into the sweet haven of her pussy where it resonated against my cock like a tuning fork.

"I belong to you, Master," she grunted slaming down all of herself on me. "My pussy belongs to you, Master. I fucking love you! I love this cock! My pussy loves you!"

She then lifted herself up and my cock slipped out. She reached down and yanked off the condom and positioned herself back to take me in.

"What're you doing, Carol!?" I asked shocked at what she was doing.

"It's okay, hun," she said breaking her submissive character. "I'm on the pill. I'm clean. Please, Master, bareback me."

The tip of my bare uncovered cock was at the entrance of her waiting for consent.

I gave no thought to it.

"Take it bare, my submissive," I uttered grabbing her hips and slamming her down onto my cock. All of my worries had been thrown out with the pleasure taking me over. All I wanted was to feel her pussy around my cock, to hear her moan, and to hear her call me Master with each spank I gave her.

"Master!" she cried out, "I'm gonna cum! Permission to...permission to cum!"

Her hips were moving so fast that it was as if they were vibrating against me. I rose my left hand and spanked her left cheek.

"I belong to you, Master!" she grunted through her clenched teeth. "My pussy is yours, Master. Permission to cum!"

"Cum, my submissive!" I grunted thrusting my hips upwards knowing the building pressure in my balls and the anxiety I was having about what would happen if I let go. I thought for a flash that maybe I could pull out but then I heard her cry out when the orgasm hit her.

"Cum inside me!" She screamed, "fill my pussy up! Give it to me, Mark! I LOVE YOU!"

And when she screamed that's when I came inside her. It was the most intense one I experienced with her. It was as if fireworks were going off in my head, my eyes, my body, and especially in my groin.

I exhaled feeling her collapse backwards onto me and then she rolled onto her side where she cuddled me. Her head was on my chest and her leg curled up over my thighs and I could hear her humming her contentment.

"Oh, shit..." I uttered with the rational parts of my brain starting to regain their senses. I sat up and looked down at my cock seeing it still leaking it's fluids with the dead jellyfish of a condom lying next to my leg.

"What's wrong, hon?" Carol asked.

"I..." I uttered looking to her feeling the fear drain the blood from my head and my limbs. My mind's eye began to flash with images of a positive pregnancy test, Carol with a massive belly looking at me miserable and filled with resentment, and I felt sick to my stomach. "I came inside of you."

"Oh, Mark," she said slapping my chest and laughing. "You'll be fine. I'm on the pill, remember? The condom was for extra precautions. But I know you're clean and so am I."

"You're..." I began, "you're okay with it?"

She giggled, "I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't. Honestly, hon, you worry too damn much."

"Did you enjoy it?" I asked laying back down.

She hummed contentment while rubbing her thighs together again. I could see the slickness of our combined fluids leaking and coating a small area near her pussy.

"You bet your sweet cock, I did," she answered reaching down and sliding her hands over my wettened member. "If it weren't for the fact that you just came, I'd ask you to take me again, Master."

Her touch sent such lovely ripples through my body.

"I love it when you call me that," I moaned my ecstasy while leaning back against the headboard. "And I can't wait to collar you for real, my submissive."

"I can't wait for that either, Master," she cooked before leaning up to kiss me.

Pulling back I said, "But I do think we need safe words. I was worried if I was going too hard."

"Agreed," she nodded, "Let's go with the classics. 'Yellow' if you're going too hard but I don't want you to stop. And 'red' if I want you to stop completely."

"Good enough for me," I said, "but what if you're gagged?"

"I'll hum this tune for 'yellow'," she said and hummed a tune for demonstration. "But I'll hum this tune for 'red'." She hummed a completely different tune to show me the difference.

"I'll keep those in mind," I smiled before leaning in to kiss her again.

She pulled back and said, "And now, with Master's permission, I think your cock needs cleaning."

Her finger trailed my cock picking up some of the juices and licked them off of her finger.

"You may, my submissive," I consented.

She pushed herself down the bed and placed her head over my groin, opened her mouth and started to slobber and suck up the juices of my cock and her pussy with gluttonous glee.

February 26^th In the time together as a couple, lovers, and as BDSM play partners things just got better and better. I even managed to get her into some of the things that I'm into outside of the bedroom, such as comics, manga, anime, and so on. She in turn helped get me into a few things of hers such as gardening, puzzle building, as well as into different kinds of literature, such as Jane Austin.

But then came the day when we realized that we needed some items for the bedroom. The place that we went to was called "The Castle", a very popular adult store for the area. It's a place that you'd pretty much expect it to be, the store front was castle like as if it were a Medieval themed restaurant but instead on the inside there were some great goodies. I knew of this place when I was single. I would come here and see what they had and often imagine myself using some of these toys with my imaginary submissive. Which is why it felt so surreal to come back to that place with a lover like Carol.

We entered the front door, and we were greeted by one of the various workers.

"Welcome to the Castle," she greeted. "Can I help you find anything?"

"Nah," I said as politely as I could. "I think we know what we're looking for."

The layout of the place was open with numerous columns holding up the ceiling. On the floor to the left were racks of lingerie with white headless mannequins showing off what they had. To the right there was the, what I call, "couples' items", such as the Kama Sutra massage kit, adult themed board games, adult gag gift items, and sexy themed greeting cards. Beyond that at the far-right wall were the male and female toys such as masturbators, dildos, vibrators, and so on. At the very back of the store, opposite where Carol and I stood, there was our destination, the kink section. It was set in a walled off area of the store passed the last remaining rack of adult DVDs that were there despite how online media pretty much put that out of business. Inside the walled off area of the kink section the walls were painted black with racks of crops, paddles, canes, chains, whips, blindfolds, and a few favorite items that I wanted for my submissive.

Carol leaned in and whispered, "What items did you have in mind for me, Master?"

I looked at her, slightly mortified as if she had peered into my head and saw my wishlist. She looked back with a grin that was laughing with no sound.

Her hand rested on my shoulder, "Just teasing, Master. But are there certain items that you had your eye on?"

Gathering up my nerve, I led her to a glass case at the back where there were jeweled butt plugs, tailed buttplugs, and leather chastity belts. I pointed to a small buttplug that had a blue fake jewel at its base.

"That one," I said, "blue is my favorite. But it's not just that one that I want to do with you."

Wrapping her arms around mine she whispered to me, "Tell me more, Master."

I turned and kissed her while I whispered, "I want to insert a remote-controlled vibrator into you and put a leather chastity belt on you. Then take you into public and turn on the vibrator at times of my choosing and watch you squirm."

I could feel Carol shiver against me, "Oh, Master. It's a good thing I decided to wear panties, or I'd be making a mess on my legs and floor."

Hearing her say that sent the signal and I was hard again.

She leaned in and whispered, "but if Master wants anything done with my ass you'll have to be gentle...it's been a while since I've had anything in my ass."

I smiled and leaned in to kiss her again while my hand cupped her ass cheek knowing there wasn't anyone around to object to such a display. But I was only half right.

"Carol?" A voice called out in our direction.

We turned in unison and I saw a couple standing at the entrance to the kink section. The woman looked to be around Carol's age and so did her partner who was a woman a little younger than her. In the moment of mortification I didn't have time to take in the details of them. The call out to Carol was such a shock that I froze.

"Michelle?" Carol called back in an audible smile while she stepped out to hug the one named Michelle. After their embrace broke, Carol hugged the other woman, "And Faye. How have you two been?"

"We've been alright," Michelle answered while eyeing me, "But we haven't heard from you in a while we were starting to worry."

"Oh, I've been...busy," Carol explained coming to my side.

"With your new stud?" Michelle winked and teased.

"Oh, stop," Carol dismissed, "but, yes, this is Mark. My man."

"Mark?" Michelle asked, "you mean..."

Carol nodded and Michelle looked at me, came to me, and hugged me, "I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to your mom."

"It's okay," I said, "but I'm thankful for Carol being there for me."

"That's our girl," Michelle cheered, "always a big heart."

But Michelle's partner chimed in, "But you two are together? Is that even right?"

"Faye!" Michelle slapped her partner's shoulder, "Don't judge. They're both consenting adults. Remember how it was for us?"

Faye looked at Michelle and then turned her gaze to the floor.

"I'm sorry about that," Michelle added, "but we're off so stay happy you two. Oh, and if you're interested, check back with the group."

Carol smirked, "I'll have to talk it over with Mark before we get there."

"Okay, we'll see you two around."

Michelle dismissed herself with Faye giving a wave goodbye with her fingers. Once she left, I couldn't help but utter, "she seemed familiar."

I couldn't put my finger on it but I'm sure I had met Michelle before.

"She and her partner," Carol explained, "were friends of my ex-husband and then myself after we were married. But after he cheated on me, they broke ties with him and helped me through the divorce along with your mom. You might have met them when I invited you and your family over, but it's been a while."

"What'd she mean by 'the group'?" I asked.

I could see Carol blushing when I mentioned that.

"Well," she began, "after my husband left both she and your mom were my biggest confidants. Michelle especially with how much of a free spirit she is. I even told her some of the reasons why my husband left and about some of my other...appetites. You could say that she was my mentor into the world of kink. She introduced me into a local group through a site called 'FetLife'. They tend to meet once a month but I haven't gone since I don't...or rather...didn't have a partner."