Mars Hill Ch. 02

Becca slumped, sighed and looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry love." She said softly. "It's been a rough day so far walking with mum. And now to have to deal with Abby too, it's almost too much. I'm happy you are here with me, and I will tell you someday. But not today. I can't take it. I'm happy I got to see my family, but I'm super ready to be heading for home tomorrow."

I smiled at her. "I'm so happy I got to come, but I have to admit that home with just the two of us sounds really nice."

We walked back to the camper and grabbed the two seats in the very back of the camper, with Gwen and Abby up front. Becca quickly dozed off resting her head on my shoulder and I was not far behind, my head on hers and still holding her hand. When we finally got back to the farm a few hours later I helped carry things back into the house, while Gwen went and checked the mail and Abby put away food and washed dishes.

"Be back in time for dinner you two. That's in 50 minutes in case you don't know," Gwen reminded us.

"We will mum," Becca said.

"See you soon," I said to Gwen and Abby.

Abby smiled and waved while Gwen just nodded.

We walked out of the front door, across the porch and down the steps to the driveway. Becca lead us out toward the road.

"There is a little trail to the fire pond that I loved to walk when I was younger," Becca said as she lead the way.

"Do you think your mom likes me?" I asked.

"Yeah she likes you fine. I know it can be a bit odd to be around her sometimes. She starts off treating you like the prodigal son, but the more she likes you the more curt and abrupt she is. She's been like that for a while."

"Have you been feeling better?" I asked. Becca had thrown up before we got here and then a couple more times since we got here.

"Yeah I'm feeling better. I think it was just nerves," Becca said.

"What do you have to be nervous about?" I asked.

"Well it's been almost 10 years since I last lived here. I keep in touch with mom by phone or email, but we're not all that close anymore. I was worried about what she would think about what I have become since the last time she saw me. Don't get me wrong I love my mom, but I sure didn't always. And I wanted her to like you of course."

"Would it have mattered at all if she didn't?" I asked.

Becca reached out and held my hand.

"Not at all Jer. You're just as much my family as mum is, or even Abby who I do love and keep in touch with much more than the rest of them."

I gave her hand a squeeze and I smiled at her. We walked along the path by the pond, lapping it twice before heading back to the house for dinner. The next day after the afternoon chores were done, we made the long trek to the campsite and while Becca and I lit a fire outside, Abby and Gwen made up the 3 beds in the camper. We had a short time under the stars before Becca and I crawled into the upper bunk and fell asleep.

Once again it felt like almost no time before the alarm in the camper went off, and we pulled ourselves out of bed and drove down to the rock. I could barely see the outline of it against the faint light growing in the east. One of the weirdest things about being in Australia is that the sky is upside down. I noticed it even before Becca pointed it out, which was a good sign that her astronomy lessons were starting to stick.

Becca and I had planned to walk together, a bit apart from Gwen and Abby, but Gwen had other plans.

"Becca, you will walk with me. I want some mother daughter time." Jeremy you can go with Abby. Becca and I will walk to the right and Abby and Jeremy, you two will go left. We will meet back here whenever we are done. And of course we'll see you on the other side." Gwen announced.

I looked over at Becca and she just nodded and smiled somewhat grimly at me.

"Alright then lover boy, you're with me today." Abby said, pulling my arm as we started walking left around the base of the giant rock.

The gravel of the walking track mashed under our feet as we set off side by side around the rock.

"Becca is really lucky," Abby said after a while.

"How do you mean?" I asked.

"To have you of course. I'd love to meet someone like you. You're funny and hot. Does Becca say that to you often? Do you have a brother?"

"No, I have twin sisters, and they are only 14," I said, dodging the first question.

"Well damn. I was hoping you could set me up."

"Why didn't you come to school with us?" I asked

"Well for one thing someone needed to stay home and keep an eye on mum. She's not always totally stable. Emotional abuse does that to you sometimes you know."

The rock was starting to glow red with a shimmering light from the east.

"Is that what happened? Becca hasn't told me." I asked.

"We'll partly I guess. But if she hasn't told you then I better not till she does."

Fair enough I thought, wondering again at what the big secret Becca was keeping was. I was fairly certain it had to do with her father, but I had no idea what it was.

Abby and I continued to walk in silence. The sun continued to rise. The sky started an inky black, slowly turning purple and then orange and then blue. I kept looking at the rock, smooth in some parts, totally distorted in others. I can't deny that I felt some sort of primordial connection to the place. I looked over at Abby, who was walking focusing mostly on her shoes.

"Isn't this incredible?" I asked trying to draw her back out a bit.

"It's ok," she replied not looking up.

We walked for another while in silence again.

"Look Jeremy, don't mind me. I just find it hard to keep secrets, and this is a big one. I think it's kind of bullshit that you have been dating Becca for so long and she hasn't told you. But like I said it's her story." Abby said.

I remembered Becca saying that she was on my side with her family. I thought that we should be on each other's side, so I I said "It's not a big deal to me. I don't need to know all her secrets. I trust that she will tell me when she is ready."

"Yeah... Sure." Abby said shooting a glare past me. Down the track I saw Gwen and Becca walking towards us.

"Bitch," Abby murmured as Becca walked by. Becca heard and looked at me questioningly. I shrugged, and made the 'I have no idea' face. Becca nodded. Once again we were walking in opposite directions, but now I was beginning to wonder what this big secret was. The more I wondered the more I promised myself that I would not ask. That I would live up to the commitment to be there for Becca when she is ready to tell me, and not to pry. But I was also starting to get worried deep down.

Abby walked the rest of the walk in silence. I tried to not let her get me down and to enjoy the rest of the walk. It had turned into a beautiful morning and it was just starting to get uncomfortably hot when we all got back to the camper. Gwen and Abby jumped in with Becca saying that she needed to use the washroom and grabbing my hand to go with her.

"What the hell is going on with Abby?" Becca asked.

"You remember when I promised not to pry about the thing with your past when we were camping?"

"Yeah," she said, confused.

"Abby thinks you should have told me."

"Oh she does, does she?"

I pulled on Becca's hand to stop her and spun her to face me. She had a look of anger on her face which she turned to me.

"Becca, please. I am on your side. I'm not going to ask you to tell me. I'm not going to say anything. I'm on your team. But I'm not going to lie to you about why Abby is upset, even if I don't understand. My promise to you still stands."

"This is none of her business." Becca said, fuming.

"Becca, I don't know what else I can do other than be here for you."

Becca slumped, sighed and looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry love." She said softly. "It's been a rough day so far walking with mum. And now to have to deal with Abby too, it's almost too much. I'm happy you are here with me, and I will tell you someday. But not today. I can't take it. I'm happy I got to see my family, but I'm super ready to be heading for home tomorrow."

I smiled at her. "I'm so happy I got to come, but I have to admit that home with just the two of us sounds really nice."

We walked back to the camper and grabbed the two seats in the very back of the camper, with Gwen and Abby up front. Becca quickly dozed off resting her head on my shoulder and I was not far behind, my head on hers and still holding her hand. When we finally got back to the farm a few hours later I helped carry things back into the house, while Gwen went and checked the mail and Abby put away food and washed dishes.

I was just carrying in the last load of dishes from the camper when I heard something smash in the Kitchen, and Gwen shouting in rage. Soon Becca stormed out of the house with absolute fury on her face.

"Becca!" I called out in alarm. "Hey wait up."

I ran into the house and put the dishes just in the front porch and was turning to run after Becca when Abby grabbed my arm and held me back.

"Just let her have some time Jeremy. Please, please let her go for a while." Abby said.

"What the hell is going on Abby?" I turned to face her.

"We just got an official letter from the government that my ex husband, Becca and Abby's father is has been released from prison early. Good behaviour apparently." Gwen came through the office door into the kitchen. "This is most unwelcome news for all of us, but especially for poor Becca. It's dredged up some nasty memories for all of us, and it's really unfortunate that she got it here of al places. It's probably best if you two get away from here as quickly as you can. You can take the Ute. Just text us where you leave it and I will have one of the farm staff fly out and pick it up. But she can't stay here. She is hardly able to stand being in this house anyway, and this will make it impossible."

"What the hell is going on?" I asked Gwen.

"What happened is not important Jeremy!" She held up a hand and regained her composure. "Jeremy, I'm sorry. What happened doesn't matter. What matters right now is what you can do to help Becca. I don't want to see her get any more hurt than she already is. And the best way to do that is to please just take her and go. Go down to Adelaide and visit the wine country. Go do silly touristy stuff that you had planned to do before flying home. Becca had always wanted to visit the Barossa. Take her. You guys had planned to leave from Adelaide right?"

"Yeah we are leaving from Adelaide. This is so weird. But ok. I'll do it."

"Good. Abby go get their things and pack them please. Jeremy do you think you can drive here?"

"Yes I think I'll be ok driving." Driving on the wrong side of the road had tripped me up at first but now it almost felt natural since we had spent so much time driving recently.

"Good. Here are the keys." Gwen tossed them them to me. Abby ran down the stairs with our bags and handed them to me.

"Well it's been... uh," I said awkwardly.

"I wish your visit had ended under better circumstances. I hope we will see you again when things have changed. I have a lot of legal things to deal with. Go after her and get her away from here." Gwen gave me a hug goodbye. Abby shook my hand. I left, tossing our bags in the back of the truck and jumping in the right hand seat. I started the truck and headed out down the driveway and onto the road where I could see Becca in the distance. I drove behind her, slowly pulling beside her and rolling down the window.

"Want to run away together?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.

Becca turned to me, her face one of abject despair mixed with complete fiery rage. My heart broke, seeing her like this. She slowly climbed in the truck and I started driving. I reached out for her hand but she pulled it away. I immediately moved it away from her and just drove. I was pretty sure that she was not mad at me for anything, and that she needed some space, so I drove on in silence, not even listening to the radio. After an hour or so we pulled onto the main road heading south towards Adelaide. After a few more hours Becca finally spoke to me.

"Thank you Jeremy. For coming to get me, and for getting me out of there."

My heart screamed at me to comfort her, to reach out somehow and show her how much I loved her. But all I did was say "You're welcome Becca."

I looked over at her and tears were continuing to fall. I reached into the back of the truck and grabbed one of the water bottles that I knew were kept back there and grabbed one for her. She took it from me with a nod, but careful to make sure she didn't touch my fingers.

We continued to drive down the road. Nothing but bush and the occasional roadkill Kangaroo. I kept driving. Eventually the sun started to set. I kept driving. Becca kept to herself, huddled against the opposite side of the Ute. And we kept going. Soon the stars came out. It was early morning by the time we reached Adelaide. I pulled into the hostel that Google suggested as a good place to stay when I made reservations at a bathroom stop earlier in the day.

"I'm going to check us in." I said, climbing out of the Ute. I left the keys on the front seat. " Come in when you are ready. If you are not ready when I have keys for us I will come back out and let you know what room we are in and leave a key for you." She looked at me and nodded.

I went in and checked us in, being sure to ask for two beds in our room. I didn't know what was going on with Becca but from the way she was acting in the car I figured she might need the space. I dropped our bags off in the room and then walked back out to the Ute. Becca hadn't moved.

"We are in room 202. I got separate beds just in case you need some space. I'll see you up there when you are ready." I closed my door and was just turning to walk back up to the hostel when I heard the other door open. Becca got out and locked the Ute and walked up beside me and together we walked in.

I got into the smaller bottom bunk with Becca taking the queen sized bed closer to the bathroom, and soon I was fell asleep. Becca woke me up tossing and turning in her bed a few times. Around 4 AM Becca got up and came over to my bed and crawled in beside me. I slid back to the wall, and she pressed herself against me, and finally got a bit of sleep.

We woke up around 7.

"I'm sorry Jer," Becca said turning towards me.

"Don't be." I said. "I'm on your team through good times and bad. I don't know what I can do to be helpful, but let me know and I'll do it."

"Thanks love. Let's just do something fun today. I want to try to forget about yesterday. And today is our last full day in Australia. Let's make it count." She said.

"Ok," I said.

We walked down the stairs to the reception area to see if there were any tours available for the day, and we were lucky enough to be able to jump on a tour of the Barossa Valley, just like Gwen had suggested.

"I always loved the wine from the Barossa" Becca said with the beginning of a smile.

The Barossa tour was great, but I was still concerned about Becca. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts sometimes. And she still didn't hold my hand. I was worried for her. We tasted some great wine and ate some good food, and while that was happening Becca seemed to be almost back to her old self. But as soon as it was over she was withdrawn again. The tour ended and we drove back to the hostel. That night again Becca tossed and turned and moaned in her sleep, keeping me awake until again she came over and climbed in with me. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to hold her, and was just starting to doze off with my arm between us when she reached over and pulled my arm around her like a blanket and tucked it across her chest and held onto it. The next morning my arm was fully asleep which woke me up. Becca was still sleeping so I just lay there for a few minutes before my arm hurt too much and I moved it.

"Good morning Jer," Becca said, not turning to face me.

"Hi Becca." I replied.

"I'm sorry." She said again. "It's been rough, but you've been so great to me. I want you know that I appreciate that. I know that the problems I have right now are not your fault, and I love you so much for giving me space. I'm working on remembering that I choose to let you touch me."

"Just let me know if you want me to do or not do something." I said.

"I will" she said. It had been three days where we hadn't held held hands or kissed. We hadn't had sex since we arrived at her mother's house. I didn't mind, but I noticed it because it was so different from normal.

We showered individually, getting dressed in the bathroom, a marked difference from how we normally acted around each other. Becca threw up again on the day we left. Try as I might I couldn't help but miss how we used to be. I wondered if we would ever be like that again.

We went for a walk in one of Adelaide's many parks. I could smell the flowers and the grass, and a warm breeze rustled the leaves. We ate lunch at a small cafe, and then headed back to the Hostel to get our bags and head for the airport. Becca was quiet all morning, and I didn't try to force a conversation.

The airport smelled sterile and the low hum of announcements filtered through the checkin hall. Becca and I checked in for our return flight, and once through security went to the lounge. We waited there and had some wine until our flight to Sydney was called. Becca and I were the first ones on the airplane and the first ones off. We got our transfer over to the international terminal and went through immigration and security again. We waited in the lounge again for our flight to Dallas to be called. When we boarded we had barely said 5 words to each other since we had left Adelaide, spending the time in silence. Not the silence of the 'silent treatment' though. More the silence you get when two people are reading, then when they are not talking. When the wheels lifted off from Australia for the long trek over the pacific she reached out and held my hand. I looked over and she was crying again.

"I miss Australia. It's still... home to me," she said.

I also felt sad to be leaving Australia because on the whole it had been a great trip.

"Maybe we can come back sometime if you like. In the future I mean."

She smiled back at me.

"I love you Jeremy," She said.

20 hours later we were back home in Flagstaff in the cold. We still had a few days before classes started back up. Becca was still very subdued. We began taking walks every evening before bed. The temperatures were very cold, especially compared to Australia, easily in the -20c range. The night before term started there was forecast to be a big snowstorm.

The snow started falling at noon, and as it did the temperature warmed up. Soon there was 2 feet of snow on the ground and it was still coming. I had shovelled the snow in front of our apartment twice by 7pm, the snow making a satisfying crunch as I stepped on it, and the smell of the cold and snow filled my nose.

When I got back in I called out to Becca "Do you still want to go for a walk tonight?"

Becca came out of the bedroom almost completely dressed for our walk.

"Yeah let's do it." She walked over and slipped into her boots and her jacket. We stepped together out into the snow and turned left at the bottom of the driveway, walking east towards Mars hill, which was just a couple of blocks away. When we got into the forrest at the bottom of the hill and started walking up the trail, Becca grabbed my hand.

I looked over at her and smiled. She looked up at me earnestly.

"Jeremy there is something about me that I think you deserve to know."

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's about Dad, and what happened to my family when I was 16." She brushed off a bench along the track but we didn't sit down.