All Comments on 'Marti's Baby Daddy'

Two stories by the same guy one the same day? The first one was decent. This wasn't. Not worth wasting another word.

This story could have been more interesting if: 1st - The lover didn't die...would he support his child? 2nd - Why the need for a DNA test, being the lover black? 3rd - Why the need to the talking in the videos? Why the need for a second man filming the fucking and then receiving a blowjob has a reward? I think that's because of this that @kimi1990 considers this story a "stereotypical racist blather"...The story would have gained a lot by omitting these parts...2*

Can only imagine that this story is suppose to be tongue-in-cheek. It's just terrible.

dumb shit.

Wife cheats, husband gets revenge, stupid lover dies and husband gets all the money.

Same old shit.Where is a zero when you need it?

Wish it was a little longer but fun and punchy!

You're probably older than 14, so why write characters who act like they are? The most interesting part of the story is the part you didn't have the wit or imagination to tell, why his wife became a betraying stupid slut? OK, there's also the question of how a man can live with a woman this soulless, disrespectful, and evil, and he doesn't have a clue? If it wasn't his drinking and puking, maybe it was his general lack of attention and detachment from his marriage that induced his wife to find a better man, and father.

The drug dealers shot the wrong dumb ass. And the Black Beauty will not be wasting her time on a car salesman, other than to get some cheap revenge sex out of her system. You can bet she keeps a plastic garbage can next to the bed, just in case pussy boy gets upset.

But got it wrong. Irrevocable family trust is just way to convenient and easy, and a lazy way to write. And if you win that kind of money in Vegas, there are records; they can't just hand you cash anymore.

Everything fell into place too easily, yet the wife seems to have made no plans at all for when an obviously half-black baby was going to make his appearance in very short order.

You have a habit of adding apostrophes where they do not belong.

I have no idea why you made the lover black, but I also notice that the reader is never told whether the husband and wife are white or black. They could be black as well. I find that if the race is not stated in a story, I think of the characters as white. Perhaps black readers see them as black? I have no idea since I have but one reference point, but it seems logical to me. I guess the point is that I see no reason to designate a race for any character unless it somehow plays into the plot. Some comments state that hubby would know she cheated when the baby is born black, but they are assuming the husband and the baby's mother are white. You did forgo the huge black cock angle and I saw no real racial stereotyping. The black lover has a good job and is hurt in the line of duty, which makes him a hero. You let us know that the cop and his wife were black. You never told us the race of Marti, or her husband, so they could be black, too. Otherwise, you managed to hit many of the tried and true clichés for LW. Keep writing and perhaps use an editor. You'll improve as time goes on. Thanks.

What a miserable ending. At least this one made some sense.

Hey, at least it wasn't BBC!

I was going to question how she thought he'd support her when his wife took him to the cleaners, then realized that she was probably expecting support from HER ex!

I think I liked this a LITTLE more than most, as I said at the beginning it at least didn't use the BBC stereotype.

As HDK pointed out, I simply assumed that they were white, given the potential need for the DNA test maybe they weren't.

I'm surprised that there was no apparent comment about a grieving "widow" that wasn't his wife, I suppose giving more credence to her NOT being white. I would have thought that his mother would have been irate at her being prominent at the funeral.

lousy.

It was just plain fun-- right from the beginning and all the way through. I couldn't believe some of the negative comments. C'mon, everybody. Lighten up. Five stars.

But his constant need to hurl was ridiculous. Throw in the fact that the courts are death on men who "gamble away" their life savings before divorcing their spouse and I couldn't give this more than a 3

Ended rather abruptly. 3*

Not bad even if the flow was gas / brake / gas / brake ...

Wasn’t sure if the main husband / wife we’re white / black / brown / purple / etc....

Fun little read. Thx

He´s set for life just by posting a single amateur porn video online. I have to admire that.

This is not a masterpiece but is an entertaining story. It's a fairy tale for the modern man. The characters were well developed and the basics of a sound story are there.

I hope you will continue to grace us with your skills.

...if you are going to add convincing detail you need to make sure that it's credible. All that stuff about trusts and visits to Vegas just showed the average reader that you don't know much about the law. Why did you make the lover black? As the comments indicate it just added confusion.

Too many of these LW stories read like adolescent fantasies. With more care this story could have been something to be proud of. Don't stop trying!

...during my divorce I went to Vegas too. I took all the money I could get my hands on including the equity line of credit from the house and dropped it into accounts a 4 different casinos all for odd amounts. When we went into court I showed copies of the "losses" to the judge and he didn't like it but it was legal and afterwards I turned in my markers and got my money back..and some comps for just being such a good customer

Darn good amateur writing! I think most of your story's deficiencies have been well covered by others, but let me give you an attaboy for your time and effort. LW readers are a tough bunch, to put it kindly, and you've done well. Illegitimis non carborundum, and keep writing.

A little to short , and felt rushed. You could have developed a real story here. How was she going to get away with a pregnant black father .

back in Saigon again. But, pretty good story.

Another author to keep an eye out for.

That was pretty good. Solid 4 Stars.

On under a million dollars, just because he won 30k? Ignoring your shaky understanding of divorce law, that's more idiotic than half of the "he wuza ninja hacker black ops wif a billion bucks" stories in LW. This is LW, not fantasy.

You seemed to get bored with your own story. Not a good sign.

Ugh, yet another long build up to a fizzle ending, waste of time, did you get bored with your own story?

Maybe that's the problem. Viewing sex makes him throw up.

Yeah, the writing style was ok but the end didn't seem well thought out or delivered with conviction.

Nice story. 5*.

As others have commented, maybe a little short on content and a bit rushed toward the end, but I can live with that this time.

Would like to read more from you,.

Start writing again NOW...

Pete W.

I would like to see more about the developing relationship with Leah. Is it just revenge? Are they together? Will it last? There were a lot of details about how he got started with Marti, but not much else. Flesh it out.

Decent enough effort I suppose (agree with the rushed comments) but wrong category for this. Where is the love here? It's simply a revenge tale about a relationship that has broken down and becomes a transcript of the former couple's final argument by the end. Husband's view is perfectly understandable given the circumstances he finds himself in, though you went overboard in trying to ensure he came out of the situation completely on top. Might as well have had him get bitten by a radioactive insect and gaining superpowers! Certainly nothing remotely erotic about this tale in my view. If you were posting on another site that wouldn't matter, but on Literotica?? Surely it's one for the non-erotic section.

You did inject some humour into the story though, and I would be interested in reading another of your stories in the future - perhaps one that takes on board the feedback you've received from the reader comments posted here.

J.A.C.

Again, I guess because that's the only reasonable explanation for it. The 3.91 rating it has is more reflective of the intelligence of those that read the stories on this site than having anything to do with the quality of the story.

"this is LW, not fantasy" Huh. Priceless comment, absolutely priceless.

LOL- back again ass wipe. How is this a fetish? You're one fucked up moron. Fuck off moron.

1300.00 is chump change

who said how could be a fetish story? Well, it did have a lot of throwing up in it...

1 star

another cocksucking WIMP posting dumb cuck SHIT.

I love all the negative comments from anonymous readers, and I will stay anonymous just to please them.

All the negative comments and yet the story has a decent rating.

Screw them all, just keep writing.......

that was funny.

Why anyone allows anon comments is inexplicable.

I'd give it a 4.5 stars if they had it. Won't give it 5-stars since I reserve that for the "masterpieces" posted on literotica, though now that I think about it, this really gets up there. A solid A- (MAYBE a solid A).

One thing I wish is that I knew if Leah was black or white (or Asian or latina... or native-american) in the first meeting. It was bugging me. It took a second reading for me to figure what she was. I kind of assumed she was black since George was black. I figured if she were white it would have been mentioned immediately, but I was left guessing (not that race usually matters to me, but with all the description of how sexy she was, that might play a part. My imagination kept playing different images... she's black... no maybe she's white... no, must be black... with different races, faces and body types flashing in my mind). Though, on second thought maybe that's a good plot device since there was the "tension" of me guessing while reading; it was like a second plot point below the description of the infidelity. Hmmm... maybe I should give it a solid 4.5-stars, then my usual rounding up to 5-stars... But too late, I already entered the score.

‘Another very good short BTB from BaMuoiBa (what does that stand for???)..’

A Vietnamese alcoholic beverage over consumed by American GI’s in the past

Leah calls herself a "black bitch" in the text.

WHITE. Picture of a white woman naked waist up in his wallet. (NO OFFENSE MR. LEWIS BUT MY TITS ARE NICER THAN HERS)

More puking, crying husband crap from a weak writer.

The mention of race was confusing as who was what race.

Your low scores for your stories indicate you need help

Or stop writing...please!

On all your stories, u seem to end too abruptly. Wrap things up.

I agree with others, your ending is not quite right! Fantastic Story just spoilt by an abrupt ending! Anyway that's my Comment 5 ★ WOOF!

He's going to quit his job because the videos he posted made $1,300.00. I don't think so...he'd be in the poor house in no time flat.

Protaganist deserves punshment for having those thoughts. He deserves even greater punishment for selling those pieces of, . . . um, . . . err, . . . crap to anyone.

The divorce would't play out quite like you've directed it. First, most likely no divorce until and if child is born. Second, since she hasn't worked since they got married, she is going to get some temporary spousal support (newer, politically correct term for alimony in many states). Furthermore, DNA tests are frequently NOT considered by the courts in ordering child support. He's married to her, he's the father! In several states, even if a DNA test were to show he was NOT the father, he'd still have to pay child support. Family Law / Divorce Courts don't care about justice, they want some male who's earning a paycheck to pay for the raising of the child, so the State doesn't have to pay for the support of the child and mother. Google it if you disbelieve me.

Next, more and more states are making "revenge porn" a criminal offense. Even if that's not the case in the state where they are, most states allow law suits for "intentional infliction of severe emotional distress". The cheated-upon partners can look forward to a lawsuit for that. And I'd take the case on a contingent fee basis for half of the recovery (I'm an old torts lawyer).

Finally, any protagonist who vomits and retches as much as this asshole deserves everything that his wife and the state can hit him up for!

Not Loving Wives! Fantasy and Science Fiction perhaps, and with all the vomitus thrown about, Non-Erotic might also be an appropriate category.

Dare I say God save the Queen. .Because no Body will save the Governor General!

Gough Whitlam reply to the sacking of the Labor Government 1975 Australia!

(Bit of research for a story of mine )

I love the Style of the Author! ....If you stretch it out (say 3 chapters)... Change the end and Presto a classic story! ★★★★★ WOOF!

And so on and on and on....same old shit. Just a different author!

Ruin their good stories with no or incomplete endings. You are right in the midst of them. Sorry!

Definitely not your best, but at least thermostats died.

Legal mistakes aside, this was a decent story except it could have had a few more paragraphs to tell us what happened to the cheating wife. 4 stars

For starters, I almost didn't even read this story because I DETEST the phrase "baby daddy". I was liking the story until the rushed ending. That I didn't like. Too little details and not enough knowing what happened to Marti. Wouldn't it be a scream if the baby was really Matt's? That would make an interesting chapter 2. LOTS of details about the divorce, it's Matt's baby & he is awarded full custody and Marti has to pay him child support. And then there's the rushed ending in Cabo. I gave it 4 stars but had considered only 3.

Baby daddy is a generalization of an unmarried (or married to another man) woman , pregnant with another man's baby. Proudly calling a man as her baby daddy is telling everyone, "I am a whore and proud of it."

It seems some are not happy unless she burns. Me? I say run away and get on with your life. I enjoyed it.

But at least he should have fucked her rough in the ass and deepthroat her one last time.

Not necessarily taking a piss on her face, but hey, you‘l never know what rings his bell in such moments.

Several comments gave 1 star ratings.

This story received 4.03 rating.

It takes SIX 5-star ratings to counterbalance

TWO 1-star ratings up to 4.00.

What this means is a LOT of readers rated this high, then passed on without comment.

Readers who did not like something about it, complained in the comments.

Dissatisfied customers yak and vent.

Satisfied customers just get on with life.

Ratings give a better overall picture of the readership (or at least, rater-ship) than comments.

5 stars

Paul in Oklahoma

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's DUMB BITCH

Thought she told him there would be no coupling, no revenge sex.

Marti's Baby Daddy

byBaMuoiBa©

Brilliant and short! No fucking around with this story! I’m a BTB fan and this was one heluva story! Thanks for sharing!

Good quick little BTB. Too bad the dumb SOB died before Leah could get at him.

lame

Unfortunately Leah could not divorce George before his death. Now his estate will have to pay for child support. Even if it is just a single payment.

VERY FUNNY....

All men should have trust funds to save themselves from cheating skanks

Great story!!

Please don't write a 10th story.

Isn't it funny how the same bunch of idiot commenters (not sure if I can honestly call them 'readers') always get so bent out of shape when a writer twists one of their beloved BTB tales so as to express irony or satire? Like meth addicts (which some of them may be), they need a constant supply of potent BTBAAC fantasy onto which they can project their listless, unhappy, empty lives. Imagine when reading a "good BTB story" is the only thing that will make your day complete, and "That sorry "*$#!!*^ writer wasn't taking this serious!"