All Comments on 'Mary and Alvin Ch. 03'

This turn of events wasn't what I expected but it was fun to see him contemplate his past and to see just what life threw at him to get him where he is now. Should be interesting 3-4 days on the sea without his lovely lady, maybe throw in some moments of her thought of him in the meantime too.

5* all the way!

I think the previous comment missed the fact that Alvin finished his trip and he's on his way back to Mary already. Or have I read it wrong? Alvin's daughter Jennifer is there at the Newport (Rhode Island) dock to drive him back to Londonderry, right?

Oh, and he's a middle child! I KNEW he was a middle child! *swoon* Part of me wants to hear more about Bonnie now, but I just know it will make me cry.

It was nice to see an exploration of Alvin's background. It helped to balance the narrative between the protagonists.

Looking forward to chapter four.

Chapter two fell flat for me - it read like a big back story info-dump, and whoever he was, was so dull I've forgotten already - but this chapter buzzed along nicely. Wendy a nice touch of spice, and Alvin's story tightly seen.

My concern though, on behalf of the story, is the "big events in a life" - like his father's death - pass by very quickly. Many of your paragraphs could almost be chapters in their own right. It's like postcards on a fridge door, whereas I'm wanting to read the long letters.

Chapters 2 and 3. Get to know Mary and Alvin - their back stories - who they are, how they got that way. Give them some hurdles to overcome. Alvin’s reputation and Bonnie’s ghost (Kelly’s comments about Alvin’s long list of girlfriends who never seem to work out, and Alvin’s musings about Mary as just another pretty girl compared to Bonnie, who “had been his lover, his wife, his soulmate. The mother of his children”.

Onward to Ch. 4. Thanks

slightly confused!

Interesting chapter on Alvin, and using the "isolation" to either better define him or make him face an important decision/take action...well, you followed the classic literary option to do just that--although as a flashback--and you nailed it: becoming a man is accepting the responsibility you're given or taking charge of your destiny (and he has to assume the former); in so doing, he meets the girl that would become his better half. Of course would never replace Bonnie, so she could only become a unique and different part of his life experience.

You earned a well-deserved 5 on this one.

Very smooth sailing with the story so far, really enjoying it.

Very nice installment to a nice story.