Mary and Alvin Ch. 20

She crawled back under the covers. Alvin rolled over to face her. "Morning, baby," he muttered, still half asleep.

"Good morning, love," she said, snuggling against him and kissing his chest.

"How you feeling this morning?"

"My back hurts. But it's been hurting on and off for a while."

"I can rub it for you."

"That sounds good." She turned over and he slipped his hands under her nightshirt and began massaging the small of her back.

"Any morning sickness?" he asked.

"No, not for a while now. A little crampy, though."

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey."

"It's not bad. My body is being weird all the time lately."

"Your body is beautiful."

"You like the bigger boobs."

He kissed the back of her neck. "I liked them just fine before."

His massage felt soothing and she dozed off. When she woke, Alvin was not in bed anymore. She got up and went to the head of the stairs.

"Hey, honey, I'm going to take a shower," she called down.

"Alright. I made pancake batter. You want sausages with yours?"

"No, I don't have much appetite this morning."

She went into the bathroom and took off her nightshirt and underpants. She turned on the shower and held her hand under the water until it was good and hot. Stepping in, she faced the spray, enjoying the way it ran over her tender breasts. She turned and leaned on the wall, arching her back so the water hit the aching area of her back. She closed her eyes and let her head loll back, but within a few seconds, she realized that the pain in her back was growing sharper. She opened her eyes and felt a sudden dizziness. Dropping her head forward, she saw that the water circling the drain was tinted with red. Her head was spinning, but she could make out rivulets of diluted blood running down the insides of her legs. She turned and reached for the faucet handle, but her feet gave out under her and she fell against the shower door, sending it slamming into the wall with a loud crash.

Alvin was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping his coffee. Appetite or not, Mary had to eat something, and he would wait and eat with her. When he heard the crash from upstairs, he sprang from his chair, tipping it over backwards. He dropped his cup, spilling the last of his coffee across the tabletop.

"Mary?" he called, sprinting out of the kitchen. Angus scurried down the stairs, almost tripping him as he rushed up. He opened the bathroom door and saw Mary lying on her side on the floor. There was a pool of blood under her, and more smeared on the cracked shower door. He dropped to his knees and turned her, lifting her head and resting it against his thigh. She looked up at him, her eyes bleary. She spoke but her voice was barely audible, her words indecipherable. He looked down and saw the blood was still trickling from between her legs. He pulled a towel down from the rack, roughly folded it and pushed it up between her thighs. His phone was downstairs, where was hers? Probably on her bed stand, he thought.

"Baby, can you hold this?" he asked. "Try to hold it tight right there, I'll be back in a second." She gave a slight nod.

He rushed to the bedroom. Her phone was right there. He dialed 911 as he hurried back to the bathroom. Mary had lost consciousness. Her hands hung loosely at her sides. Alvin pressed the towel against her again.

The emergency dispatcher answered. Alvin quickly recited his name and address. "My wife is bleeding badly. I think she's had a miscarriage."

The dispatcher assured him that help would be there shortly. He broke the connection, and fumbling with the phone with his left hand, dialed Jennifer's number.

"Hey, Dad, what's up," she answered brightly.

"Mary...the baby...she's bleeding bad. I need help."

"Did you call 911?"

"Yes, but please, help me."

The phone went dead. He pulled Mary into his lap. "Don't leave me, Mary, please don't leave me," he said. She mumbled something in reply. He kissed her forehead. "I love you, sweetheart, I love you so much."

He heard the kitchen door slam and Jennifer was right there with him.

"Jesus Fucking Christ," she exclaimed, "Is she awake?"

"She comes and goes."

She filled a glass of water at the sink and handed it to Alvin. "If she wakes up, try to get her to drink a little. She's losing all her fluids."

Alvin set the glass on the floor. "Jen, get her robe from the back of the door."

Jennifer took Mary's robe from the hook and together, she and Alvin managed to get Mary into it. She ran to the bedroom and brought back a blanket to put over her.

"I don't know what else to do," she told her father. "I wish Danni were here."

"I think I hear the ambulance."

The siren grew louder, then stopped abruptly. Jennifer ran downstairs to meet the paramedics. Alvin stroked Mary's hair, hoping they had not arrived too late.

The paramedics, one female and one male, came into the room. The woman squatted next to Alvin and took Mary's pulse. She looked up at her partner.

"Bring the gurney in to the bottom of the stairs, then come back up." She turned toAlvin. "How far along is she?"

"What?"

"Her pregnancy."

"Oh." He went blank, and had to concentrate. "Twelve weeks."

"Alright." She looked around at the blood on the floor.

"It's too much," Alvin muttered, "too much blood."

"Well, we will get her in the truck and top her off."

Her partner came back into the room. "Okay," she told Alvin, patting him on the leg, "We'll take her from here."

The paramedics moved to either side, and with a gentleness that Alvin would never forget, raised her up and carried her from the room. He followed them as they took her down the stairs and laid her on the gurney.

"Back through the kitchen?" the man asked.

"No, the front door will be easier."

Jennifer held the door open for them. When they had cleared the porch, Alvin followed them out.

"I'm going with them," he told his daughter.

"I'll be right behind you, Daddy."

When the gurney was locked in place, Alvin climbed in the back of the ambulance and sat beside it, taking Mary's hand. The female paramedic sat across from him, while her partner got behind the wheel.

"Is she still bleeding?" Alvin asked.

"Yes, but it's slowed."

"I tried to stop it with a towel."

She shrugged. "There isn't much you can do, I mean it pretty much stops on it's own," she said as she inserted an IV in Mary's arm.

Alvin winced watching the needle go in."That was a lot though, wasn't it?"

She looked at him and nodded, "Yeah, that was a lot. So let's get her topped off."

She raised the IV stand on the side of the gurney and hung a transfusion bag on it. Alvin watched the red line descend down the tube. When it reached Mary's arm, he let out a sigh of relief.

"What's your name?" he asked the paramedic.

"Heather Pomeroy."

"I went to school with a Josh Pomeroy."

"My uncle."

"Well, thank you, Heather."

She smiled at him and attached a second bag to the IV line.

"What's that?"

"Glucose solution. We need to get her rehydrated."

They rode in silence into town. As they turned into the emergency room driveway, Alvin looked up at Heather. "We lost our baby," he said in a quiet, mournful voice.

She reached across the gurney and rubbed his arm. "Yes. But we saved your wife."

Alvin followed as Mary was wheeled directly into the emergency room. She stirred as the paramedics transferred her from the gurney to a bed, but she did not awaken. A nurse took Alvin by the arm.

"Sir, we will need you to give us some information."

He let her lead him to the reception desk, where he was questioned about Mary's name, age, medical conditions, insurance coverage. As impatient as he was to return to her side, he had no choice but to stay calm and answer them. As they were finishing, he looked through the window to the waiting room, and saw Jennifer approaching the desk.

"Are we done here?" he asked the receptionist.

"Yes, Mr. Faulkner, thank you."

He stepped through the door into the waiting room. Jennifer hugged him. "How is she, Daddy?"

"She hasn't come around yet. They are waiting for the obstetrician. But they are giving her blood. And you were right about the fluids. They're doing that, too."

"Good. I called Charlotte and left a message. And Aunt Di. She said she'd meet us at the house later. I couldn't get ahold of Uncle Tim. I'll try again in a while. Danni had to run a prisoner transport to Farmington, she won't be back until later."

"Thank you, honey. Jeezum crow, I need to call Mary's mom."

"Do you want me to do it?"

"No, I should. I'll call her after I talk to the doc."

"Okay. Well, here, I brought you some clean clothes." She handed him a brown paper bag. He looked down at his clothes. There were blood stains on the knees of his pants and smeared across the front of his shirt.

"Jeezum crow."

"Go in the bathroom and change, Daddy."

He went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was a streak of Mary's blood in his hair. He began to tremble at the sight of it. I can't do this again, he thought. He held it together when Bonnie died because he had to, he had two young daughters whose lives depended on it. If he lost Mary, he was afraid he'd go mad. He washed his hands and ran some water through his hair. As he watched the blood stained water drain from the sink he realized that Mary's blood was still all over the bathroom. Probably tracked all over the house, he thought.

When he came out of the bathroom, Jennifer was waiting for him with a cup of coffee. "Do you want something to eat?" she asked.

"No, I'm not hungry. I was just thinking, I have a big mess to clean up at the house. Jeezum, I don't want Mary to come home and see that."

"I already thought of that. Aunt Di is going to take care of it."

"Aw, christ," he said, shaking his head, "What a thing to have to do."

He drank down the coffee. "Come on honey, let's go see how she's doing."

They returned to Mary's bed. The tracked curtain was closed around it. Without hesitation, Alvin found the seam and slipped through it.

A woman in a white coat sat by the bedside. She had been examining Mary and pulled the covers up over her as they came in.

"You must be Mr. Faulkner," she said, introducing herself as the resident obstetrician, Dr. Yates.

"Yes, and this is my daughter, Jennifer," Alvin replied as she squeezed in behind him.

"Well, Mr. Faulkner, things are looking up here. We've got the bleeding under control and her blood pressure is climbing. It's at a near normal level now." She stood and touched Alvin's shoulder. "I am sorry, she did lose the baby. But she should have a full recovery. Whether there is any serious damage that would prevent you from trying again is something we will have to take a closer look at when she's feeling better."

"She's still out, though," he said, looking down at Mary.

"She's slowly coming out of it. If everything goes okay, if her blood pressure stabilizes in the next few hours, you should be able to take her home this afternoon."

Alvin nodded. "Well, alright then."

Mary looked up from the bottom of a deep dark hole. The walls were black, or maybe a crimson so deep as to be indistinguishable from black. She could hear a buzzing sound from somewhere beyond the hole that made her think of Jennifer's honeybees. The top of the hole seemed to be growing wider and the buzzing began to take on the form of words. Gradually, the sides of the holes disintegrated and she was floating in a fog. She was afraid she would get lost in it if she did not find some anchor to hold on to.I know I'm supposed to be fighting, she thought, but I don't know how. All she could think to do was try to find Alvin. She silently cried out for him, hoping to find his voice calling in return, to be the lifeline she needed. She thought she had caught it, but it darted through her mind like a minnow slipping between her fingers. Then it was there, touching her, wrapping around her and pulling her to safety.

"Well, alright then."

How many times had she heard those words, that inflection? It was him. He was there, and where he was, she was safe and protected.

The light grew brighter around her and she saw a figure looming above her. It looked like it was handing her a rose. Her vision cleared and she saw it was a nurse, adjusting the oxygen tube in her nose. She cast her eyes around, and he was there.

She called his name, in a voice that was barely perceptible, but he heard it, and he turned and looked into her eyes.

He came around to the far side of her bed and leaned down, taking her hand and raining kisses on her cheek and forehead. The doctor nodded to the nurse, and they pushed the cart from the enclosure. Jennifer came up behind her father and laid her hand on his shoulder. "I'll wait outside, Daddy." She looked down at Mary and smiled. "I love you, Mar."

When Jennifer had left Alvin pulled a chair alongside the bed. Mary tried to speak, but when she struggled, Alvin gestured her to hush.

"There nothing we have to say right now," he told her. "There is nothing we don't both know. I love you, you love me, you are going to be alright."

She started to shake her head and a tear ran down her cheek.

"The baby," she quietly sobbed.

"We will try again, sweetheart."

She squeezed her eyes shut and let out two wracking sobs, then seemed to relax. She looked back at Alvin.

"Why don't you just try to rest some more, honey," he said, "They think we can go home later today."

She nodded, and squeezed his hand. As long as she knew he was there, she thought she could close her eyes and not fear descending back into the dark well.

When he was sure that she was asleep, Alvin reluctantly lifted his hand from her and tiptoed out into the corridor. He took his phone from his pocket, pulled in a deep breath, and dialed Mary's mother.

Jean picked up on the third ring.

"Hello, Alvin, what a surprise," she said.

"Jean, I..." he stalled, not sure how to tell her.

"What's wrong, Alvin?"

"Jean," he said, struggling not to sob, "we lost the baby."

There was a long silence before Jean responded. "Oh dear god. How is Mary, is she okay?"

"She will be fine," he said, "she's sleeping right now."

"Tell her I will be there as soon as I can. I'll call you back when I've made plans."

"Thank you, Jean. It will mean a lot to her."

"And Alvin, I am so very sorry, dear."

"Thank you, Jean."

They said goodbye and Alvin returned to Mary's side. She drifted in and out of sleep. He dozed off a few times himself, and every time he woke up, he immediately looked up at the monitors, checking her heart rate, her blood pressure and other vital signs. He wasn't sure what it all meant, but he checked anyway.

He was startled from his shallow sleep by the sound of someone fumbling with the curtains surrounding the bed and muttering what sounded like curse words under their breath. He looked up to see Charlotte entering the enclosed space.

"Jeezum crow," Alvin said, "you got here quick."

Charlotte leaned over and kissed her father. "Not really, Jennifer called me, like, six hours ago."

She looked over at the bed. "Hey, Mary, how are you feeling, sweetie?"

Mary was struggling to sit up. "Okay, I guess," she said. "Alvin,can you put my bed up?"

He found the controls and tilted her to a more upright position.

"Thank you, love," she said, "I'm just really tired, and you know, feeling blue."

Charlotte leaned in and gently hugged her. She lifted a blue shopping bag.

"I stopped at the house and got some clothes for you."

Alvin took the bag and set it down next to the bed. "That was a good idea," he said.

"Have to give Jen the credit. She was kicking herself that she didn't think about it earlier." She walked around the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress. Mary leaned her shoulder against her while Charlotte rummaged in her purse. She took out a small hairbrush and tenderly began to brush Mary's hair.

Dr. Yates pulled the curtains back. She smiled when she saw Mary was awake and sitting up. She explained that she wanted to do an ultrasound before she sent Mary home. A nurse came to assist her and Alvin and Charlotte moved out into the corridor to give them room.

"Jeezum, another test. I wish they could just send us home."

"Dad, they have to do these things."

"Why?"

"Well," she whispered, "they have to make sure that, you know, it's all out."

"Aw christ." He let out a deep sigh. "Is your sister still here?"

"Yeah, she's out in the waiting room."

"She's been here all day, she should go home."

"Tell you what, why don't I give you my keys, and we'll go back to the house in her car? You and Mary can come home when she's ready."

"Alright. Don't think we will be much longer." He took the car keys, kissed her, then went back to Mary's bedside. The doctor was finishing up. She smiled sympathetically at Alvin, then asked Mary if she felt strong enough to go home. Mary nodded that she did.

"Any pain?"

"No, I feel kind of numb."

"Alright. I will prescribe a sedative, in case you have trouble sleeping later. Get some rest and take in as much fluid as you can. Do you take regular vitamins?"

"Prenatals."

Doctor Yates scribbled on a pad, then handed a note to Alvin. "Well, lets take it up a step. You can get these when you pick up the prescription. I see you've got some clothes. Will you need any help getting dressed?"

"Alvin," she said, in a low voice.

"Of course. Well, good luck to you both. Ring for the nurse when you are ready."

Alvin pulled the curtain closed and helped Mary to her feet. He untied the hospital gown and Mary shrugged out of it. The nurses had washed her down with sponges and he was pleased to see that they had done a good job. He tried to erase the image of her blood smeared body from his mind.

He pulled the clothes from the shopping bag. Charlotte had chosen wisely. He helped Mary into a pair of underpants, then helped her put on the dress Charlotte brought. It was long and fit loosely, and slipped on easily.

Mary sat on the edge of the bed and Alvin pulled the chair up in front of her. He picked up her foot and slipped on her shoe. She touched his head, and when he looked up, she showed him a weak smile. "Alvin?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Did you save my life?"

He shrugged. "I don't really think so."

"I think you did."

"Well, I have learned not to argue with you."

She almost laughed. She watched him put her other shoe on her foot. "Alvin?"

He moved the chair closer and took hold of her hands. "Yes, dear?"

"Tell me that you love me."

"I love you with all my heart, Mary." He pressed the call button and stood up. "Let's go home."

***

Tim and Theo were tossing a football back and forth in the driveway when Alvin and Mary pulled up in Charlotte's Prius. As they passed, Theo began to jog alongside the car. Alvin parked in the dooryard and got out. Theo ran to Mary's door and began slapping on the window. Alvin shooed him out of the way and helped Mary out of the car.

"Aunt Mary!" the boy cried, "My Dad said you were at the hospital! Are you okay?"

Mary looked down at him and fought to hold back her tears. "I'm okay, Theo," she said, forcing herself to smile. Rachel came around the side of the barn, cradling a white hen in her arms.

"You got a chicken," Theo exclaimed, and ran to his cousin. Mary found a genuine grin crossing her face.

Tim reached the car and hugged Mary, then he took one of her arms while Alvin took the other, and they began walking toward the house. She was glad for the help, she still felt a little dizzy.

Charlotte, Jennifer and Danni were sitting, side by side by side, on the top porch step. At Mary's approach, they all stood and surrounded her, pushing the men away. As they all wrapped their arms around her in a long group hug, she understood for the first time that these women were not her stepdaughters, they were her sisters. Their gentle touches, their tender kisses and their murmured words of love warmed, but could not fill, her injured heart.