Mary and Alvin Ch. 22

"Would it be okay if I sat with you?" Danni asked.

Jennifer swallowed hard. "Yeah, that would be cool."

Danni sat down, her long legs stretching into the aisle. "What are you listening to?" she asked.

"Oh, I was just scrolling around, I haven't decided what mood I'm in."

"Can I take a look?"


Jennifer handed the phone and one of the earbuds to Danni, then put the other bud in her own ear. Please like the music I like, she thought.

Danni inserted the ear bud and scrolled through the list of songs, clicking at random, listening for a few seconds, then scrolling some more.

"Like it...like it...don't like it very much...I guess it's alright...like that a lot..." After about a dozen songs she took the earbud out and handed the phone back to Jennifer. "Our tastes are pretty similar," she said.

"That's cool. Hey, I'm glad you got some floor time tonight."

"Yeah, I'm pretty happy. It's too bad you didn't get to play."

"Well, first year, what can you expect?"

"The only reason I got any time was because I'm on a scholarship, they have to justify it."

Jennifer shook her head. "I don't think that's true."

They reached the outskirts of Burlington and rolled on into the dark countryside. It grew quiet in the bus. Most of the team either slept or were studying on their laptops or tablets. Jennifer watched the last lights of the city fade, and in the dark window, she saw Danni's reflection. Their eyes met in the glass. She turned and sat back, tilting just a little bit toward the center of the seats. Danni leaned closer, and the back of her hand brushed Jennifer's wrist. Jennifer turned her hand and took hold of Danni's. She leaned still closer. Danni drew in a deep breath, let it out slowly, then moved her face to within a few inches of Jennifer's. Jennifer tilted her head and they kissed.

They drew back, just an inch or so, then kissed again, a little bit harder, a little bit longer.

Jennifer sat back and squeezed Danni's hand. "That was nice," she whispered.

"It was, wasn't it?"

"You didn't even have to cuff me."

"No, I didn't," Danni said, "But I would have if I thought I needed to."

"Did you just make a joke? I didn't think you made jokes."

"I guess we both have a lot to learn about each other."

"That sounds good to me." Jennifer sat back and rested her head on Danni's shoulder. Before long the gentle rhythm of the wheels on pavement lulled her to sleep. When she woke up, they were pulling off the interstate at the Orono exit. Danni was asleep, but still holding her hand.

Danni was startled awake when the bus lurched to a stop in front of the fieldhouse. She looked at Jennifer and realized that they had really kissed. In her first wakefulness, she thought the memory was a dream.

They retrieved their travel bags from the luggage compartment and headed back toward the dorms. When they had left their teammates behind, Jennifer touched the back of her hand to Danni's. Danni took it, and they walked hand in hand across campus.

"So, Danni..." Jennifer said, hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"My room mate went to Lewiston to spend the weekend with her boyfriend."

"Oh."

Jennifer squeezed her hand. "So?"

Danni took a dozen steps before she replied. "Okay."

They entered Jennifer's dorm and went upstairs in awkward silence. Jennifer opened the door to her room and they went inside, dropping their bags on the floor.

Danni looked around the tiny room. "Are you the upper bunk or the lower?"

"Lower," Jennifer replied.

"Thank god," Danni muttered, rolling her eyes.

There was a half sized refrigerator in the corner. Jennifer got out a bottle of water and took a drink. "You want one?" she asked.

"No, thanks. I do need to use your bathroom, though."

"Right behind you."

Danni did not really need to use the bathroom, she just wanted a minute alone to compose herself. She sat on the toilet and hugged herself. Am I pretty enough for her, she thought, then chuckled. If I'm not, she wouldn't have asked me to come to her room. She took a deep breath and stepped back into the room.

Jennifer had changed into a pair of gym shorts and a blue Londonderry Lions t-shirt. She was sitting at the head of her bed. "You hungry?" she asked, "We could get a pizza or something."

Danni sat down next to her. "No, I'm not hungry."

"Alright." Jennifer moved back on to the bed and lay down. She reached up and rubbed Danni's back. "I liked watching you play."

"Really?" Danni asked, turning around.

"Shit, you are like a fucking Amazon warrior on the floor."

Danni laid down next to her. "I hope I can watch you play soon."

They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment, then Danni leaned forward and their lips touched, then opened. Their tongues found each other in a kiss that seemed to last for hours. When Danni leaned back, Jennifer said, "Honey, you're trembling."

"I'm a little nervous," Danni said.

"Oh sweetie, it's all good. Just relax." She rose and gently pushed Danni on to her back. She looked down at her and stroked her hair, and the side of her face. She kissed her again, on the lips and then on the side of her throat. She nestled against her and laid her head on her shoulder. "I don't want to rush you into anything, Danni."

"I've only ever had sex with one person," Danni said.

"Really? I've been with, well, a few," Jennifer said, and giggled.

"Well one of us will know what we are doing, anyway."

"Honey, it isn't hard." Jennifer sat up and pulled her shirt off over her head. She took Danni's hand and raised it to her breast. "Just touch me like you'd like to be touched yourself."

Danni caressed Jennifer's breasts. "They are really beautiful," she said. She raised herself up on one elbow and touched her lips to Jennifer's nipple, kissing it lightly, then circling it with her tongue.

"See, it just comes natural," Jennifer said, cradling her head. Danni moved from breast to breast, fondling, kissing, licking.

"You should get undressed," Jennifer whispered. Danni sat up on the edge of the bed, her back to Jennifer, and self consciously took off her shirt and bra. She stood up and kicked off her shoes. Jennifer sat up on the edge of the bed. She put her hands on Danni's hips, then slid them around to the front and unfastened her jeans. As she pushed them down her hips, she leaned forward and kissed Danni in the small of her back, then rested her head against it. Danni stepped out of her jeans and felt Jennifer's hands slide downward, between her thighs.

Jennifer squeezed Danni's vulva and chuckled to herself when she heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Turn round, babe."

Danni turned, her hands on her breasts. Jennifer pulled them out of the way, planted a kiss just below Danni's navel and guided her down on to the bunk. She kissed each of her breasts, then slipped down her long body, touching her lips to skin as she went. She rounded Danni's hips and kissed the side of her thigh, then the inside of her knee. She kissed her way back up the other leg.

Danni felt self conscious as Jennifer pushed her thighs apart, then gasped when she felt her lips on her labia.

Jennifer slipped her tongue into Danni's slit and slowly licked forward until it touched her clit. She pursed her lips around the little nub and sucked on it. Danni's finger were tangled in her hair, gripping, slightly pulling. She pressed her face harder into Danni, tonguing her with increased passion. She slipped her arms under Danni's thighs and grasped her hips as they began to writhe. Looking up, she could see Danni's chest heaving.

Danni felt lightheaded, overcome with the intensity of the sensation sweeping through her. She tried to raise herself up on her elbows, wanting to look at Jennifer, but her arms trembled and she felt back down. Her back arched and she realized she was crying out in her pleasure. It was becoming too much for her, and she pushed Jennifer back.

"No more," she gasped, "Oh my god, Jen."

Jennifer kissed her way up Danni's body, across her belly and along her side. She brushed her lips across each nipple and kissed each side of Danni's throat. She lay prone on top of her and rested her head on her shoulder.

Danni ran her hands down Jennifer's back and slipped her hands inside the back of her gym shorts.

"That was amazing," she said in a heavy breath.

After a few minutes, Jennifer raised her head and they shared a languorous kiss.

"I want to make you feel good like that, too," Danni whispered.

Jennifer wiggled out of her shorts, then rose up and straddled Danni's abdomen. She slowly crawled forward, grasping the metal frame of the upper bunk, just above her head. She knelt with her knees on either side of Danni's head.

Danni watched, fascinated, as Jennifer got in position. She reached up and put her hands on her breasts. Jennifer put her own hands on top of Danni's.

"Yes, baby," she cooed, as she lowered herself on to Danni's face.

Danni felt a brief flash of panic as Jennifer's downy pubic hair brushed her face. She began kissing her, exploring with her mouth, until she found found Jennifer's clit.

"That's it, baby, right there," Jennifer said, "Just lick it for now."

Danni did as instructed, licking across and all around Jennifer's clit.

"Yes, baby, now suck on it. Not too hard...that's good, babe, now mix it up."

Danni licked and sucked and kissed, and Jennifer began to rock her hips, grinding down against her. Her lips felt bruised, but she did not care, all she cared about was pleasing Jennifer.

The bed was squeaking loudly as Jennifer rocked back and forth. She threw her head back and banged it on the upper mattress frame.

"Ow, goddamn it," she said, laughing and panting simultaneously. "Jeezum, Danni, I'm going to come."

Danni gripped Jennifer's thighs and could feel her muscles tighten. There was a taste like lemon on her tongue, and she heard Jennifer emit a long, rolling moan.

Jennifer sagged and fell to the bed beside Danni.

"Fuck," she panted, "Fuck, that was awesome."

Danni smiled. She turned on to her side and propped her head up on her elbow. She studied the expression on Jennifer's face. She had never seen anyone look so blissful. I want to see that again and again, she thought.

Jennifer opened her eyes and looked at Danni. "So, this means you won't avoid me in the shower room any more, right?"

"It might make it worse," Danni replied.

They fell asleep, cuddled together, and in the morning, they went to the dining hall and ate breakfast. They spent the day together, doing laundry, walking to the Thriftway on Park Street to pick up a few items, and talking about anything that came to mind. They discussed favorite movies, books that they loved, political opinions. Jennifer talked about her family, and noticed that Danni said far less about hers.

They ate supper together in the dining hall, then walked back to Jennifer's dorm.

"My room mate should be back by now," Jennifer said, standing in front of the main door.

Danni looked in all directions, then put her hands on Jennifer's shoulders and kissed her.

"What time is your first class tomorrow?" Jennifer asked.

"I have Psych at nine."

"Meet me for breakfast at eight?"

"Sure," Danni shrugged.

"Cool." She stood on her toes and kissed Danni. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay," Danni said. She turned to walk away, but stopped and turned back. "Jennifer, I just...well, thanks."

Jennifer laughed. "Yeah, you're welcome."

Danni hesitated, then started to walk away.

"Hey, Ortega!" Jennifer called.

Danni turned to look.

"What about Tuesday?"

"What about it?"

"Will you meet me for breakfast on Tuesday, too?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay. But what about Wednesday?"

Danni laughed and waved and walked away. She had crossed half the distance to her dorm when she heard Jennifer call, "Breakfast on Thursday, Ortega!" She turned and waved, and blew Jennifer a kiss.

***

Jennifer started to cry as she watched the bus pull away from the Orono terminal.

"Fucking Christ," Charlotte rolled her eyes, "You have got to be kidding me. It's only Thanksgiving break. You'll see her on Monday, for fuck's sake."

"That's easy for you to say," Jennifer said as they walked towards Charlotte's car, "You've had, like, fifty boyfriends. I was never in love before."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Charlotte said as they got in the car, "But I haven't had fifty boyfriends."

"No, I was being kind, I didn't count the one nighters."

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"Carpet muncher."

"Cocksucker."

"Hey, I wear that title with pride."

"Alright, fair enough."

"It's just that this is unfamiliar shit," Charlotte said, turning on to the interstate. "I never saw you go googly eyed like this before."

"I know," Jennifer said, staring out the window.

Charlotte patted her sister's thigh. "Listen, baby girl, I am really happy for you. I hope this all works out."

"Thank you, Char." She was quiet the rest of the ride home, lost in her thoughts. The previous two months had been the happiest time of her life. From their first night together, she and Danni had been nearly inseparable. They met for breakfast every morning, walked to their first classes together, practiced together, studied together. They shared walks in the woods and kisses in the library stacks. Jennifer remembered an old joke. What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A moving van. It almost felt like that. She had never paid much attention to the idea of soul mates, but now she considered it a very real thing. She and Danni seemed an almost perfectly matched pair, each one complimenting the others weakness with their strengths. There was only one dark cloud that troubled her. Danni was still keeping one foot inside the closet. Jennifer noticed the sidelong looks Danni cast before they kissed, the way she let go of her hand when strangers approached. Jennifer had been out and proud for years in a small town where everyone knew her family. She had a hard time accepting Danni's reluctance to be more open on a liberal college campus. I love her, she thought, but I won't hide who I am for her. I won't do that for anybody.

***

The house was quiet. The Thanksgiving leftovers had been put away and the relatives had headed home. Charlotte was sleeping in her old bedroom. Jennifer entered the living room, where her father was reading in the rocking chair by the fire. She sat down on the couch and folded her legs beneath her.

"I get the feeling there is something on your mind," Alvin said, looking up and closing his book.

"Yeah, um, so..."

"What is it, honey? You know you can talk to me."

"You've seen most of our games, right?"

"Well, been to two, I believe I've seen all the rest on TV."

"Alright, so maybe you noticed that we have this first year forward, Danielle Ortega."

"I reckon I have."

"Well, me and her, well..." She couldn't remember ever feeling so flustered while talking with her father.

"Oh. So you're dating?"

"Well, more that that, I suppose you'd say."

"Like a relationship?"

"Like...in love."

"Well, alright then. But you say it like it's a problem."

"Well, it's scary."

"Scary because you are afraid what people might think, or scary because being in love is wicked scary, no matter what?"

"You know that you are the only person in the world whose opinion I give a fuck about. Well, and Charlotte, sort of." She paused for a minute. "And now Danni."

"Well, you know I'm always on your side, baby."

"I do know, Daddy. But how do you deal with love being so scary?"

Alvin looked at the fire for a moment, then back at her. She thought she saw moisture glisten in his eyes. "By reminding yourself," he said, "that not having love in your life is even scarier."

Jennifer stood up and hugged her father, kissing his head. "Thank you, Daddy. I'm going to call her and then go to bed."

But when she called Danni, the phone rang and rang and no one answered.

***

Jennifer tried calling Danni's number again on Friday morning, and again, there was no answer.

"She probably lost her phone or something," Charlotte said, as the two of them prepared breakfast. "When did you talk to her last?"

"Yesterday morning. She was at her family's house, getting ready for Thanksgiving. Where the fuck is she going to lose her phone? Did she drop it in the gravy or something?"

"Okay, babe, don't get on my shit, I'm just trying to say don't freak out."

"I'm sorry, but, yeah, I'm starting to freak out."

"Well, I don't know about your side of the fence, but if she was a he, I'd just be saying, yeah, guys, they do this shit."

Jennifer shoved Angus off the kitchen table and set down a platter of sausage links. The cat immediately jumped back up and skewered one with his claw. He hopped down and ran off with his prize in his jaws.

"Daddy!" she shouted, "Come get breakfast before this frickin' cat eats it all."

Alvin joined them and the three of them filled up on french toast and sausages. Jennifer was sulking, and Charlotte explained the reason to their father.

"Well, you got a number for her folks?" he asked.

"No," she shrugged.

"You can't find it on the internet or something? You're good with that stuff."

"Daddy, there are thousands of Portuguese people in Rhode Island, and half of them are named Ortega."

"You need to get your mind off this," Charlotte said, "Let's go into town and do some shopping. And we can see if they have a holiday matinee at the Bayside."

When they returned home in the late afternoon, they had still not heard from Danni. Alvin had planned for them to meet Tim and Anna at Hurley's for pizza. Jennifer was reluctant to go, but allowed herself to be dragged along. They had just been served when her cell phone rang.

"Is that her?" Charlotte asked.

Jennifer looked at the screen. "No, it's a Boston number."

"Answer it anyway," Alvin said, "If she lost her phone, maybe she borrowed someone else's."

Jennifer answered the phone. She could barely hear the voice on the other end in the noisy bar, but she recognized it.

"Hang on, it's too loud in here, let me go outside."

She stepped out on to the sidewalk. It was cold and windy, but she barely noticed.

"Danni, where are you? I've been freaking out."

"I'm at the bus station in Boston. I'm heading back to Orono."

"Baby, are you crying?"

"No."

"Yes, you are. What's going on."

There was a moment of silence on the line. "Jen, I told them."

"You what...oh, you told your parents about us?"

"Yes. And I guess you can say it didn't go well."

Jennifer was pacing up and down the sidewalk. "What happened, sweetheart?"

"My father went nuts. I couldn't call you, because I tried to show them your picture, and he took my phone and smashed it on the floor. My mother was wailing like somebody died."

"Oh my god, Danni, I am so sorry."

"My brother called me a sapatao."

"What the hell is that?"

"It means big shoes. It's slang for a woman who wants to be a man."

"Maybe he ought to try being one."

Danni made a sound that might have been a laugh. "So, I guess I am disowned."

Jennifer felt her stomach drop. "Oh, my god, will you have to quit school?"

"No, my scholarship covers most of it. But not all, so I guess I'll have to get a job to cover the rest."

"You're in Boston? Why don't you come here?"

"No, I already have a ticket to Orono. I'll see you there when you get back."

"I'll ask Charlotte if she'll drive me back up tomorrow."

"Okay. I would have called you earlier, but good luck finding a pay phone."

"Danni?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"Okay," Danni said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

She didn't say it back, Jennifer thought. She didn't say it back.

***

Jennifer watched through the steamy window of the bus station as the Boston bus rolled to a stop. She started toward the door when she saw Danni step down to the pavement, but Charlotte grabbed her arm.