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Charlotte looked up into his eyes. “But you weren’t the white duck.”
“What’s that?” he frowned.
“You once told me that when you see a flock of wild ducks and there is one white duck with them, that it flew away from the farm to be free.”
“I don’t remember, but that is true.”
“You told me that I should be a white duck.”
Alvin stared at her for a minute, then grinned. “I suppose I was right.”
“You were.”
Alvin took her in her arms and hugged her, then walked her back to the restaurant.
“I was thinking about when we talked about good change and bad change,” he said as he opened the door for her. “But there is something important I wasn’t thinking about.”
“What’s that, Daddy?”
“The changes that you are going to make for all the people you help down there in Pittsburgh.”
They returned to their seats and Alvin lifted Hannah from Mary’s arms. He held her close while he watched Charlotte sit back down on the other side of the table. She turned to Jennifer and they hugged. He looked at the two of them. Two angels, he thought.
Seth put his hand on Charlotte’s back. She faced him and they kissed. She looked back across the table and her eyes met her father’s. As she watched a smile cross his face, she knew that she would never wake up in terror again.
- COMMENTS
Goldustwing14 days agoThanks Mel, another beautiful chapter, I was especially intrigued by Charlotte’s challenges and how with the help of her family she navigated her way back to Seth, Family is everything!
Rapierwit24601about 1 month agoI’m a pretty even tempered guy, really I am. One of the only things that raises my ire is an armchair quarterback, particularly when that ersatz quarterback pretends to be a literary critic.
Commentarista 82: Shut the fuck up until YOU write an actual story and post it here.
I have been a writing and literature teacher/associate professor for my entire career.
I have published academic articles, a few short stories and several published and often performed plays. As I am a slightly public figure - and still teaching, I cannot share any of that with you. But, DAMN, I wish I could.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING you’ve ever written has consisted of the tiniest bit of constructive criticism - the one thing amateur writers here crave.
Every one of your comments consists of 75% plot summation (something any 6th grader could do), and the rest is nitpicking grammar and “stylistic”disagreements.
What a sad, sad life you must live. I’m assuming that the writers whose works you dribble on merely ignore you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if many delete your comments as irrelevant or ridiculous.
I truly wish you could see how you are embarrassing yourself with every comment.
Hopefully, you’ll get laid for the first time, if you aren’t too old to get it up.
Comentarista829 months agoSo...the story leapfrogs 4 years? Mary now has a financial planning/consulting business; an former "foe" approaches Charlotte and offers her full partner in Pittsburgh; Char fights with Seth and they have to decide their future; now Stanley's likely about to kick the bucket; Jen's now breeding alpacas and has Muslim helpers to assist and make yarn.
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Feels appropriate to dedicate a chapter to Charlotte and Seth, as it highlights how "Opie" wooed her--effectively by placing the pink orchid in her hair--and just being a steady boyfriend. We can't forget how Angus jumped into his lap the first time he entered the house!
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This included appropriate tension and conflict for both of them to face, and it was so cute when as soon as the city settled the lawsuit that Seth called her the very day it did. It was REALLY cute that he upgraded the coffee to dinner, too! However, the job offer possesses significant problems: 1) Mary/Alvin won't reasonably be able to drive there in one day, as it is 12 hours on the road WITHOUT stopping, meaning closer to 16 with restroom breaks and eating; 2) Pittsburgh's lost HALF its population since 1950, so it's a shrinking city that's failed to address its population and infrastructure issues; 3) like Detroit, it's lost culture and resilience, meaning that while Charlotte will have plenty of "women's issues" to deal with, she will lose the Maine culture and "feel" moving there; 4) while she can't stand Portland and/or Belfast, her character implies she will hate Pittsburgh because it's not Maine; 5) while Seth may get a city planner position somewhere, he won't fix all the issues surrounding Pittsburgh alone. So IF there were a future chapter on her/Seth, it would have to deal with some discontent they feel having moved there and they would have to have found a way to stave it off by growing much closer. In other words, the story would have benefitted more to keep them somewhere on the East Coast, like Boston or Providence, where it's a more varied community that offers more, yet similar things without totally uprooting them.
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Example of a fragment I've commented on previously: Charlotte sipped her margarita, then, looking as serious as she could, said, “Seth, I have something to tell you, I’m afraid you may not want to hear it.” Easy fix is "Seth, I have something to tell you, and I'm afraid you may not want to hear it."
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This includes appropriate angst and gives Charlotte her day in the sun; however, the story should have saved a few sentences for how Mary's business transitioned from helping Jessica to a full-blown operation and at least outlined how Jennifer moved to breeding (with something about meeting Yusef), having had Charlotte write the contract, outline things for the family. 3
grampaaloisiusover 3 years ago„Charlotte laughed. “Yeah, guess I do.” She turned to Yusef„ - shouldn‘t this be Jeniffer laughing and turning? 🤔
I hoped so much that Charlotte and Steph split, instead there was another marriage.
Well, you can‘t have everything...
Thank you again for this wonderful story!
