Mason Ch. 09

"Toni, I have tickets to the ball game in LA this weekend and I was wondering if you and Jamie would like to come as my guests." Mason said.

"Shit." he thought as his heart pounded waiting for her response.

Toni thought about it for several minutes. Jamie loved baseball while she herself could have cared less about it but he would have a good time and that's what mattered.

"Ok." she replied, "what time do we need to meet you?" she asked.

Ethan was right, Mason conceded as he tried to hide his surprise and pleasure that Toni said yes. He felt the "rush" that Ethan had talked about and found it gratifying.

"It would be easier if I picked you up and drove, I know a shortcut or two." Mason replied. "I'll pick you up at six and don't worry about packing anything other than a blanket in case Jamie gets sleepy." he added.

After they parted ways to go back to work, Mason went to his office.

"So what's the scoop?" Joyce asked.

"What are you talking about?" Mason asked as he got ready to go to the dictation room.

"You and Dr. Jacobson."

"Again, I'll ask, what are you talking about?"

"The word is that you two are becoming an item." Joyce said.

"Because we have coffee and lunch together?" Mason asked. He had forgotten about the rumor mills that ran through most institutions.

"Yep, so is it true?" Joyce pressed.

"No it's not true." Mason said, "And if it were it would be no one's business but hers and mine."

"Do you like her?" Joyce asked.

"Don't you have something that you need to be doing? A patient that needs to be assessed?" Mason asked.

"I'll take that as a yes but let me give you a heads up; James Jacobson's shoes are going to be very hard to fill if that's where you're thinking of taking this." Joyce said.

Mason paused; Joyce might be a source of information for him.

"What do you know about him?" Mason asked sitting down on his desk.

"Only that he was drop dead gorgeous, kind of like you and that he loved his wife to a distraction. He was also like you in the way that the nurses always found a reason to call him. One nurse in particular thought that she could swipe him away from Toni but she didn't stand a chance. By the way, how is Toni doing?" Joyce asked as what seemed to be an after thought.

"You're good." Mason replied chuckling. "But if you really want to know how she's doing, I would suggest that you ask her."

"Busted." Joyce said laughing.

******

The closer the night of the game got the more nervous Toni became. She hadn't been out socially in over two years; her mother when she found out was thrilled.

"I knew that he liked you!" she exclaimed.

"Mom calm down, it's a ballgame that he had extra tickets for." Toni said.

"If you say so." Barbara said and then said no more. She had learned her lesson about pushing too hard.

Mason was nervous as well, "it isn't a date." he said to himself as he paced. He picked up the phone for the third time and called the ballpark.

"Yes Dr. Donahue, everything is just the way you want it." the voice on the other end said with just a hint of impatience.

Mason paced some more and resisted the urge to call the ball park back again. Instead he went for a walk and ended up at the complex where Toni and her parents would be moving to. Looking at the time, he wondered if anyone was available to show him the building where Toni would be living.

He walked in to see Dudley packing up for the night. Mason only knew it was Dudley from Toni's very brief description of him. When Dudley turned around, he had a fake smile plastered on his face, this had been another extra shift for him and it was interfering with his favorite television show 'The good wife'.

"What can I do for you this evening?" he asked with exaggerated cheerfulness.

"I was informed that you have some waterfront condos and I would like to see them if there's someone available to show them to me." Mason said.

Dudley's fake smile turned into a real one at the possibility of a sale.

"I would be happy to show you those units! There are three left, a doctor just bought a unit last week. May I ask what it is that you do?"

"I am a doctor as well, a psychiatrist." Mason replied pleasantly. Dudley had some issues Mason realized but he was harmless.

"Another doctor! Wonderful! Just bear with me for one moment while I get the keys and have the office calls roll over into my cell."

Mason looked around the office while he waited for Dudley.

"Ready?" Dudley asked from behind him.

As he did with Toni, Dudley showed Mason the one that he considered the least desirable first and then showed him the one next to Toni's last. It was nice enough and had a decent view of the water and according to Dudley; it was only slightly smaller than Toni's.

Like Toni, Mason didn't care for the bland colors but that really was the only thing that he didn't like about it. He also knew that he would have bought the place even if he hated it. Two hours later, a very happy Dudley was escorting Mason to the front door of the office.

"I'll send some people over tomorrow to make the modifications that I require." Mason said as he walked out.

"Thank you very much for your business!" Dudley said as he closed the door behind Mason. He would never complain about working an extra shift again.

Mason walked home feeling a sense of excitement that he hadn't felt in a long time, probably not since he held Katrina when she had her babies. He stopped walking, looked in the direction in which Ethan and Katrina lived and spoke softly.

"Good bye Katrina."

It was really over, he had truly let go of her. That she would always have a tiny part of him was a fact that he couldn't change but he was alright with that as he knew that Toni would be.

******

Jamie was watching out of the front window for Mason. Toni had already made him go to the bathroom, wash his hands and pack his backpack which contained his blanket, books, coloring books and crayons.

"Remember to behave and to say thank you" Toni reminded him when she heard a car pull into the driveway.

"Okay mommy." Jamie said quickly and then he dashed for the door to let Mason in.

"Hi Dr. Mason!" Jamie said when he opened the door.

"Hi Jamie, are you and your mom ready to go?"

"Yep!" Jamie replied enthusiastically.

Toni stomach flipped, why she was so nervous she didn't know. It wasn't like this was a date. It was a ball game and nothing more.

"Come on mom!" Jamie called to her.

Toni forced herself to move toward the front door. If Mason noticed her nervousness he gave her no indication of it as she walked by him. The booster seat sat on the front porch and Mason grabbed it as he walked by. Toni waited by the car while Jamie climbed into the seat and strapped himself in. she murmured a thank you when Mason opened the car door for her just like James used to do for her, chivalry really wasn't dead she thought with a smile.

Jamie had a blast at the game talking excitedly with Mason whenever his favorite player did something that he either approved or disapproved of. By the end of the game, Jamie was exhausted, it was way past his bedtime and Toni had no doubt that he would be asleep before they made it out of the parking lot.

Since their team was losing, they left before the last inning was over. Mason wanted to try and beat the rush from the parking lot. Toni gathered Jamie's things while Mason took him to the bathroom; she was finished before they got back. It occurred to her that she had just done one of the many things that James had wanted to do with Jamie and it gave her a bittersweet feeling. Toni felt tears threatening and forced them back when she heard Jamie calling her.

Partway back to the car, Mason picked Jamie up and carried him. By the time they made it to the car, Jamie was sound asleep wearing the baseball cap that Mason bought for him as a souvenir. Jamie roused just enough to strap himself in and went back to sleep.

"Thank you for tonight." Toni said looking over at Mason. "He had a good time."

"You're welcome." Mason replied. "What about you? Did you have a good time?"

"I'm not a big sports fan but yes, I had a good time too." Toni replied.

"I'm glad; maybe we can do it again sometime." Mason said.

Toni didn't reply but looked out of the window.

Mason didn't push; he turned the radio on to a soft classical music channel and drove the rest of the way to Toni's house in silence. Mason carried Jamie in, followed Toni to his bedroom and laid the sleeping boy gently down on the bed. He had a feeling of déjà vu as he remembered carrying a very drunk James Jacobson to bed for Toni a few years back although he dropped him in as opposed to laying him down on the bed.

Mason bid Toni goodnight and instead of driving home, drove to the condo to check on progress. He was paying people to work around the clock; he wanted to be 'moved' in before Toni was. Things he found were progressing nicely, the condo would be ready in another day or so. Tomorrow evening he would stock the kitchen and call his supplier for the cookware that he liked to use after that he would call his furniture supplier. All he would have to tell them was the color scheme and they would know what to do from there. Mason left the condo and drove home thinking about Toni, he was beginning to understand the guilt that she felt about the three years that she and James didn't have together. In his refusal to let Katrina go, he had stolen time from the two of them. Jamie could have been his birth son; Toni wouldn't have had to suffer the loss of someone that she loved.

"Fuck" Mason swore and stopped his line of thinking. It wasn't going to change anything; it was water under the bridge so to speak. All he could do now was move forward and remember that he wasn't ready for her then and that he couldn't have loved her the way James obviously had and did. Mason asked himself if he thought that he could love her like that now because if the answer was no, then he had to leave her the hell alone mate or not.

"So what about it Mason?" he asked himself in his best Eustace Matthews impersonation.

"I think I can." he said in his own voice.

"Fuck that Mason!" He said in Eustace's voice. "You'd damn well better know!"

Mason took out his cell phone and called Eustace. After the first few minutes, Mason was laughing.

"What's so funny?" Eustace asked.

"I just had this conversation with you." Mason said still laughing.

"What?" Eustace asked.

"Never mind, but to answer your question about whether I can love Toni the way that she deserves to be loved, the answer is yes. I can love her like that and I want to love her like that. Mason said.

"What changed?" Eustace asked.

"I think that James finally released her." Mason said. "Remember I told you about that last disc that she hadn't watched? I think that was how he did it."

" I think that you're right but Mason I want to caution you that if you aren't sure that you can love her as she needs and deserves to be loved then you need to walk away. If she is a substitute for Katrina, then you need to walk away from her now."

"Eustace, I've made my peace about Katrina. That it went on for as long as it did was my fault, I knew the moment that I lost her but I stayed hoping for what I knew wasn't going to happen. Tonight, I said my final symbolic good bye to her. Do I still love her? Maybe a little but I suspect that I always will just as Toni will always love James. Does she still have a piece of my heart? I would be lying if I said that she didn't but that doesn't mean that I can't or won't love Toni as deeply as any man loves his mate." Mason said.

"It sounds as though you've given this a lot of thought." Eustace said.

"I have and believe me, if I thought that I couldn't do right by her and that child I would leave." Mason said meaning it.

"Good luck and you know where I am if you need me."

Mason hung up feeling better after talking to Eustace; he was going to pursue his mate.

Toni peeked in at Jamie and watched him sleep for a few minutes before going to her own room. She turned on the disc and watched it three times before going to sleep. As she closed her eyes, she realized what a gift James had given her if she chose to accept it.

******

"How was the ball game?" Joyce asked when Mason came into the office two nights later.

Mason frowned; he hadn't said anything to anyone about going to the ballgame.

"How do you know about that?" he asked.

"You're not the only one with a private box." Joyce said with a grin. "So how was it?" she asked.

Mason ignored her and left the office in hopes of catching Toni to warn her that they had been seen together but he was too late.

"What I want to know," Kim said, "is how she does it. I mean she nabbed Dr. Jacobson, he dies and now she's managed to get that yummy looking psychiatrist and she's not been back that long."

Kim was so intent on her conversation that she missed the warning glances of the nurses around her, by the time she did it was too late.

Toni stood silently listening to Kim talk about her. At first she wasn't going to respond but she had had enough of Kim and it was time to put her in her place.

"Kim, a word please." Toni said and walked away.

Kim had the grace to blush with embarrassment. For a few days at least she was going to be the topic of the rumor mill, thankfully she would be off for several nights after this. She followed Toni into a consult room and waited to be blasted.

"Kim, let me start by saying that you're a good nurse and that what I'm about to say is not reflection on that part of you. You took excellent care of James when he was here as a patient and I appreciate that more than you know but you are a sneaky conniving bitch whose only goal is to find yourself a rich doctor to take care of you. While you may be good at your job, this is a stepping stone for you and I don't mean in a good way. From this point on, your only reference to me or anyone else on staff will be in a strictly professional manner. If I hear of you gossiping like that again, we go to your charge nurse and that goes for anyone else that I hear too. Any questions?"

Kim was speechless; she knew that Toni could be a hard ass but wow.

"I understand and I apologize." Kim said contritely.

"Good." Toni said and walked out of the consult room and went to the lounge.

"There you are!" Mason said when she walked in. "We need to talk."

"If it's about us, I already know about it." Toni said as she sat down.

"It didn't come from me." Mason said as he sat down across from her.

"Then who?" Toni asked.

"Joyce..."

"Joyce Evans? She's the biggest contributor to the rumor mill but what did she say?" Toni asked.

"We were seen at the game by someone from the hospital that also has a private box." Mason said. 'I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with us being seen together." he added.

"No, it's alright; I had just forgotten how prolific the mill could be." Toni replied.

"So we're good?" Mason asked.

"We're good although we're contributing to the mill as we speak." she said laughing.

"I guess we are but seriously, I really did have a good time with you and Jamie and I would love to do it again." Mason said.

"Under one condition." Toni said.

"Ok, what's the condition?" Mason asked.

"You tell me why you haven't cashed my check yet." Toni said.

"I thought I did." Mason said lying.

"You're lying just like you did when you told me that you forgot to mail the bill and I really hate being lied to." Toni said evenly.

Mason was caught, the fact that she knew that he had lied to her was another indication that she was his mate and that it would be pointless to try to lie to her again.

"Alright, you got me. I didn't send the bill because I just wanted to help and I didn't cash the check because I didn't want to and I know that you have the money but I just wanted to do that for you."

"Why didn't you just tell me that when I asked you about the bill?" Toni asked. "I still would have insisted that you send me one but you wouldn't have had to lie."

"I'm sorry that I lied, so did I meet the condition?" Mason asked teasing her.

"Not quite." Toni said. "I'm going to write you another check and I want you to cash it, what you do with it is up to you, give it to toys for tots or finding a cure for diabetes if you want but I want the check cashed." Toni said.

"Deal." Mason said already knowing where he was going to donate the money. "Is Saturday good?" he asked.

"If the check is cashed then it's fine." Toni replied as she stood up. "See you later, I have rounds to do."

Kim happened to be in the hallway on her way back from the blood bank when she saw Mason come out of the doctor's lounge, she thought about approaching him and thought better of it, she really needed this job and she wasn't in the mood for another 'talk' with Toni, once was one time too many as far as she was concerned.

*******

Thankfully the office was empty when Mason got back, he really needed his own office, sharing with Joyce was getting to be a pain in the ass especially since she wanted to be so involved in his personal life. The next time he was out of the office, he would see if there were any empty offices available. If Joyce asked him why he wanted to move, he would be honest with her, he needed to get away from her and her constant probing into his personal life.

Toni made her rounds, tweaking orders as she went. She could tell that she had been the topic of conversation because everyone stopped talking when she went to the floors. "Good." she mumbled under her breath but she knew that it wouldn't last and she knew that had it been anyone but Kim she probably wouldn't have said anything but just made her presence known.

The shift passed quickly with Toni admitting only three patients with one going to the ICU. Toni reported off and headed home. Her plan was to sleep until Jamie got home from pre-school and then go help her parents unpack their belongings that had finally arrived from Florida. Her condo would be ready next week and she was planning to pack up some of her own personal belongings. On a whim, she went to the cemetery to see James.

There was no one else in the cemetery giving her complete privacy, she put the flowers that she stopped to buy on the way in front of the headstone and sat down. For several minutes, she didn't say anything but enjoyed the quiet of the morning and noise of whatever birds were nearby.

"Hi sweetheart, I was thinking about you this morning and decided to visit. I guess you know that I watched the last disc, it took me awhile but I watched it and I'm trying to do as you asked. We took Jamie to a baseball game the other night and he loved it, by we I mean me and Mason Donahue. It wasn't a date or anything like that; he just had extra tickets that he didn't want to go to waste. The thing is, I keep looking at that disc trying to see of you're doing that thing you do with your eyes when you don't want me to do something. You know, the crossing your eyes thing and I don't see it. I know that I'm rambling and that's because I'm not sure of what I'm trying to say.... It was nice to get out and do something fun and .... James, I like him, I'm not saying I'm going to run off and marry him or anything like that but he was so good with Jamie and... , and I'm, I mean we're going to see him again. I just wanted you to know that I really am trying. Jamie and me, we both still miss you so much but we're better and on our way to being happy again. I have to get going, mom and dad moved and Jamie and I are going to help them unpack, and I'll give Jamie your love."

Toni drove home, showered and got into bed without eating breakfast. She was just about asleep when her cell phone rang; she looked at the caller ID but didn't recognize the number. On the chance that it might be important, she answered it.