by His_lilone
Like the story, and will be watching for future episodes.
Just one suggestion. Readability will be better if you'll paragraph more often. This breaks up the large blocks of gray space and creates white space giving the reading eye a chance to take a breath.
A paragraph can be one sentence. Don't be shy -- when the action shifts -- paragraph. Thanks for a solid beginning..and I'll be watching for more...thanks and take care -- hcl (and yes, I paragraphed this comment with that purpose in mind...smile)
I enjoyed the story very much but I was expecting more of a role for your pet. She faded into the background as the story went on but I was expecting her to be more of a foreground character.
I agree with the comment about smaller paragraphs.
Your writing tells us that you know about what you are writing. i wish that i was as
submissive as your characters. You make me want to work harder to be better.