All Comments on 'Matchmaker 09: September'

Roger was a bit more interesting than the typical sunny character you write in this series, to the point of being positively irritating, even if we knew he would eventually come around. Creative on all the airplane stuff. You went fairly elaborate on building that up.

I like these stories, but seriously, read a little if you're gonna play the local card. In this particular case, bison is readily available in Hawaiian grocery stores, they ranch Bison in Hawaii. If you look up bison and Hawaii, you get the hanalei bison ranch as the very first listing. Its easier to find and cheaper than lamb... Not just the national chains, but in the local chains and mom and pop stores.

And Azumi has NO pidgin, Hawaiian, or even Chinese in her vocabulary? So not typical for a born and bred local. Sure, she'd minimize her accent, but she's still from another region of the country, and she shows ZERO regional identity. She's a rebel from her Mom's way of life, but nothing in your description of her background other than her mom is a stay at home.

Its as if you set her up as an Alabaman but she spoke perfect mid-atlantic English and never made any southern references or used and southern terms. It kind of throws the reader out of the story because it is so lacking in verisimiltude.

I WANT to believe,

Axelotto

I love your stories and look forward to each post.

One minor error you may want to correct in your master document. Lift is achieved by air on the top of the wing having a longer distance to travel creating a low pressure on top of the wing and higher on the bottom causing lift. I think you said it backwards in the story.

No issue for me I just kept reading and enjoying

I had not completed the story when i first posted, you did eventually offer some evidence for her being from hawaii,

Axelotto

I owe Sanity Check an apology. I misread the explanation of lift in the story. I said it was wrong in a previous post but after re reading it I humbly withdraw my comment

I stand by my comment of it being a great story!

I wonder if Brook will be the December match?

I've now binged all of these, and August is still my favorite, but I love how each story is creative and different while operating in the same general framework. All the information about airplane wings was fascinating.

I loved this. They were as different as night and day and sometimes I think the old saying that opposites attract is a good thing. Superb story.

Quite a bit different and an enjoyable journey.

The author is amazing. The imagery that they create is thrilling to read. My only issue, is there is a wonderful phrase that was used in an early chapter. By the 9th time I read it, has become frustratingly over used. Swimming up from the darkness of sleep, or words to that effect risk becoming repetitive…. The image is wowing, but it is losing its lustre, going from the diamond it was to the paste it appears to be… The author is so, so, so much better than this. I am sure writing is hard for the author, but reading it is thrilling until you get repeated phrases from the same circumstances, ALL the time. Don’t stop writing… but pause before using a phrase too many times… October here I come.