All Comments on 'Matt's Mom'

Your story line is very juvenile. Obviously, you are a boob man-----36DD??? Seriously?? Huge cock?? Just a total farce of a literary effort. At least your spelling and grammar is correct.

Thanks for the honest feedback.

The juvenile assessment is true. Lose the damns and shits. They don't help your story

If it's easy enough to walk into their house as you did, you're way beyond the Ms. Williams stage.

You make good use of foreshadowing when you explain Matt has errands to run. That gently leads us to Melissa's yard That kind of development helps build your story. You need three foreshadowing instances to fill a story this shore. Longer stories, more foreshadowing.

Read this out-loud three times before you send, and read it backwards at least once. YOu'll find things that are missing and need to be added. You'll also find things that you'll realize are really stupid. It takes time. let the story grow.

***You fooled me I thought it was a dream about his buddy's mum that he would wake up from and go to work!! Thanks for the read.

like to see what happens next.

It is a good first story, can't wait to see what you come up with next. I think I will wait for the next story to give any recommendations. Always remember the first thing about the internet, don't read into ANY Anonymous comments. It is YOUR story to tell and you can tell it any way you want to, in any category. Keep up the good work!

@Shadowforce1, thanks for the words of encouragement!