All Comments on 'Mature Seduction'

You are a good storyteller looking forward to more hot ones like this from you. Thanks for sharing.

And it's a nice little fuck story. A little more character development and story line would have been nice, but it's good for what it is. But, at the risk of becoming the grammar police, you'd think a law professor would have a better command of written English.....

I'm getting the sense you're new to this, and looking for guidance, so I'm working on that assumption. You asked for comments/criticism, so here goes, and please take this as intended, which is to be helpful. I'm not trying to beat you up here, just make your stories more readable. Flow and "eye appeal" count. A story has to look good on the page, and sound good to the reader's inner voice. Read on....

"So," He started, some what slurring his words, "what's sex like for an older, experienced woman like yourself?"-This sentence is OK, but then Christine starts to speak immediately after, in the same paragraph. You want to start a separate paragraph for each speaker. It eliminates confusion over who is speaking.

...but he was to slow.- Should be "too"

"Oh good your up!" I teased-Should be "you're"

There are some other things that look a little odd, but are most likely typos. The one thing I tell anyone in this situation is, proofread, proofread, proofread. Then proofread again. You will always find a mistake. Before I submit my stories, I read them over and over til I'm sick of them-I have almost 60 on this site-and I find a mistake on every reading. And still some errors make it into the published story. I even misspelled a main character's name in a description. D'OH!!!!

Use spellcheck. Your computer has some kind of grammar/spelling program. Run your stories through it. A lot of the corrections it suggests you won't do anyway, especially in dialogue, which often tends not to be standard English. But it will catch things you miss in your proofreading.

If you have someone who can read your stories, have him(or her) do that for you. A new set of eyes sees different things, and will often catch things you don't.

Keep your characters believable. Every time I see some woman described with DD tits and shaved pussy, I roll my eyes. I know there are some-probably many-who fit that description, but it's such a porn film cliché, and I'd be willing to bet most women are not in that category. Of the 20 or so women I've been with in the last 40 or so years, not one has been shaved-though I've had a few with DD tits. I like my people more like someone you'd meet at school, or work, or church, down the block....you get the idea. A few wrinkles, slightly drooping tits, and skin blotches on a 50 year old woman are reality most of the time. Don't be afraid to go there. Those things are what make someone of that age attractive. This is more of a personal preference for me, so if the shaved look is your thing, go with it. You'll find that no matter how you frame your story and characters, someone-there are a lot of trolls writing comments, especially over on the Loving Wives page, where all the moralists seem to congregate-will not like it. Ignore them.

I like writing stories as well. I do this as an outlet for my erotic imagination. It ranges from women I know-including a few I have known VERY well-to women I have met in passing, but will never get to know, to fantasies about women I'll never meet. Remember also, you're not on deadline, so if it takes another day, or a week, to get a story right, take the time. This should be fun, partake in that spirit.

Good luck, and feel free to contact me through the site.

The English lesson was good for my story also thanks for your input..Young and Fun nice story..

She's a LAW PROFESSOR, she doesn't know better!!!

The number of omissions started to turn me off along with the spacing you alluded to.

Nice enough story, but a mite underwhelming.

The choking killer to the whole story was the final paragraph. An author doesn't need to beg for criticism. Now, where are the black stars?

You have had some feedback so I won't duplicate.

I love the story line and your description. Young men and older women lovers are so erotic. I would enjoy further work from you. Good luck. By the way; how old is Christine?

FALLING IN LOVE WITH TIME

MOVING IN WITH THE LAWYER FINDS OUT BEING PREGNATE

Not much depth in character development. If double D's and Brazilians are your thing, go for it. It is rather cliche though.

If you are really female as your bio says, you hide it well in your writing.

Also, I'm no expert, but with the few women I have known who were "squirters", (truth be told, I though it was a myth before my first one) it wasn't "I've never done that before." They did it all the time. Unless they didn't orgasm. Sometime more, sometimes less, depending on how wet they were. But it is a product of the quantity of fluid secreted prior to orgasm, and the sequence of the contractions in the vaginal muscles during orgasm; which is purely autonomous. They can no more it than a man can. As long as they climax, they squirt. Not the baby, mild shuddering kind. The jaw clenching, joint popping white eyed rollback kind.

The story leans more toward the more mature and experienced female finding the diamond in the rough younger male who she suddenly wants to latch onto and keep.

It just sounds like something an certain type of guy would write.

Great story. Liked your writing. Beautiful setup. Thanks.

1. Thrust, not thrusted.

2. Your up? it's you're.