Maximum Badonkadonk Ch. 06

"A little help here." I was leaning against the back of Renee's car as Jaquan appeared in the adjacent backyard lugging some rolled up carpeting.

"Yeah sure, I got you man." He noticed the look on my face as I approached.

"What's going on?"

"Man, you better stop messing around with that yellow bone; she's definitely got a few screws loose."

"Take your own advice much?" I replied full of snark.

"Okay I'll give you that, I deserve it obviously bruh. As a matter of fact, I was checking her out for a few seconds when we met because she was holding; I didn't expect her to pass me her number on that gum wrapper."

"What?"

"She passed me her number on a gum wrapper when we shook hands. I was surprised, but she was uh, packing some ass back there and uhm, I guess that's why I asked you about her. I was flattered that she would come at me, do some shit like that right in front of Renee."

"Bitch."

"Man I'm sorry about what happened; she was on me the moment I opened the screen door; guess I got caught up because she's a crazy fuck and everything. We did everything cuz, front and back if you get my drift. I'd fucked her so many times before you even showed up."

"Payback for Renee, right?" My voice faltered.

"Sorry, but I wasn't even thinking about that shit because she was all over me like a fucking hype. I ain't gonna lie, Yoli knows how to fuck like nobody's business. I got caught up before any game could be run on her; I want you to know this because I don't want you getting gassed in the head."

"Fuck you." Jaquan dropped the carpet roll on the grass.

"SO WE HATING EACH OTHER, NOW?!!" He had both arms raised as if inviting a fist fight.

"You family, she ain't motherfucker." I just folded my arms across my chest as he calmed down watching my body language.

"Hey man, saying sorry ain't gonna fix shit; but you can punch me in the face if you want? I shouldn't have knocked you out for sleeping with Renee. Wanna punch me?"

"I can't do that Jaquan."

"Why?"

"Because I don't have enough stopping power to knock you out nigga. Man you are a fucking dog, but you're my cousin. What would it look like fighting you over a jump off?" Neither one of us could look at each other's faces for a few moments.

"You like her, don't you?"

"Eh, I didn't know, don't know now obviously. She's a hot mess and she's been giving me heat over fucking Rashida of all people. Frankly, I'm a little pissed off about that shit from a sketchy bitch."

"Oh yeah, they never got along; Rashida was always getting into it with her over all kinds of shit. I think it got serious because she caught Yoli with her phone; Renee had to break it up or your girl would've uh, got a two piece and more from Rashida. That's why Renee moved her station over by the front door."

"Seems like it's more than that; Yoli despises Rashida like she motherfucking Bin Laden or something."

"I don't know man, but that yellow bone is whack in the head; she already running game on you. She gonna keep coming until she get what she wants, or you draw a line. Women can only do what you let them do."

"Oh yeah, what about Renee, huh nigga?"

"Fuck you." Both of us stared at one another before breaking into some awkward chuckling.

Jaquan decided he didn't need any help after all shouldering the rolled up carpet going onward to the second floor apartment. I was left to process things. I pulled out my phone dialing up Yoli but got voicemail several times.

"Guess we'll settle up later."

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I returned to the kitchen finding the lights on, a full makeup kit on the table where my laptop had formally been. It had been pushed to the side in favor of the women's toolbox. In my brief absence Jaquan managed to drag another ottoman of garish hot pink color into the second floor apartment. Presently Shawnee was sitting on it facing away from me with her enormous ass spilling over the edge. She was wearing a makeup bib which covered the upper half of her torso. I quickly realized the only bit of clothing on her body was the oversized white thong. There were bags of burgers also on the table as my foot nudged my camera bag on the kitchen floor.

"Hey, what the fuck man; you threw my bag on the floor, Renee?"

"No, I put your bag on the floor because I needed the room; go help your cousin out." She was using a brush on Shawnee's face paying me little mind. I noticed she'd touched up her Dutch braids as well. The ends of the dual ponytails were undone combed out into rectangular puffs.

"Having fun, Shawnee?"

"She's not talking to you right now?"

"Oh, and why is that?"

"Can't you see I'm working on her fucking face." I walked around taking a look at Shawnee's in progress face getting a shock.

"GODDAMN, WHO IS THIS WOMAN?!!" Esteemed baby mamma number two had outdone herself.

She'd created a true muse with softened features, defined brows, lashes and eyeshadow that brought out her eyes. Normally Shawnee Thompson had much more of a cherubic countenance which made her look like a high schooler in the face, but now I was looking at something different. This was a woman, a damn good looking, sultry beauty that caught me way off guard.

"OUT!!" Renee shouted waving a makeup brush under my nose making me sneeze.

"OKAY...Hey baby, I'll call you later." I raised my hand making a phone gesture smiling meekly at Shawnee who was struggling to hold in her laughter.

"FUCK OUTTA HERE!!" Renee loudly swatted my butt ejecting me from the kitchen.

"Why you so mean girl?" I replied in faux falsetto tone favoring my butt as I exited. Shawnee's chuckling followed me down the corridor to the living room.

Inside the living room, Jaquan and I unrolled the plush pink rug which was a mirror version of the white counterpart one floor upstairs in Renee's apartment. There was a big three pane picture window looking out onto the street facing Yoli's building across the street. We unfurled the rug right under the window per Renee's instruction. She seemed to be showing a true interest in the impromptu shoot she set up.

Shawnee looked happy at all the attention she was getting and a possible new attractive friend likely to bring her own stock up. Jaquan gave me a nudge wanting me to look out the window. I glanced down finding Yoli sitting out on the curb in front of her building smoking. She was still laying visual siege to Renee's salon looking very small against the rest of the world.

"Uhm, not sure about this." Our attention was drawn back to conversation from the women emanating from the bedroom.

"Trust me bitch; don't tell me I wasted money getting you waxed and everything."

"Nah, I just hate showing my body like that."

"Yet you let me buy these fucking heels and that other stuff right? Renee sounded a little annoyed.

"Ah yeah, sorry I'm just weird about my ugly little tits and flabby shape. It's like god said "I'M GONNA GIVE YOU ALL THE ASS, BUT YOU AIN'T GETTING NOTHING ELSE BITCH", ¿SABES LO QUE ESTOY DICIENDO, RENEE?" We crept to the edge of the living room peering into the half opened door.

Shawnee was standing there with her back to us nude, except for a pair of black heels on her feet. There were a few bags on the bed along with two shoe boxes. Renee was partially obscured touching up portions of her hyper-pear shaped body with makeup.

Shawnee appeared to have piqued Ms. Kelly's creative zeitgeist, as she used a brush to blur out the natural stretchmarks on her appropriated muse's hips and gluteal cleft. I was sporting some serious wood and probably my cousin too. Jaquan was looking right over my shoulder burning a hole in Shawnee's massive badonkadunk.

"Stop looking, both of you." Renee kicked the door closed from the other side as Shawnee looked over her shoulder winking at us. The slam echoed in the shortened hallway.

"WHY YOU SO MEAN RENEE!!" I repeated the falsetto tone I'd used earlier making my cousin burst into laughter as we walked back inside the living room. Both of us turned the tufted ottoman on its side rolling it off into the corner.

"Jaquan, I'm gonna show you how to film this scene because I'm gonna beat that up."

"Stop playing; I'm hitting that."

"You gonna hit your right hand because I'm about to put a baby in that bitch."

"Bullshit, ain't I the uh, stunt cock, bruh?"

"You wanna be a stunt cock, huh; go set yourself on fire, get in a car and drive that shit off a cliff cause I'm fucking that pussy, "BRUH" nigga!!" Both of us sidled up to one another bumping chests.

"Rock paper scissors?" Jaquan offered.

"Best two out of three?" I gave it some thought raising my own fist. Both of us started shaking our fists with Jaquan winning first with paper over rock, me second with scissor over paper. I took a deep breath ready to fight for the pussy if I lost.

"I WIN!!"

Renee's palms slapped the back of our necks collectively. We simultaneously favored the back of our heads finding her irritated with both of us. Shawnee was wisely covered in a robe standing off to the side as Renee continued being a buzz kill grabbing our ears in her pale fists.

"So, you two niggas out of pocket; I need both of you to run an errand for me; think you can do that shit?"

"What you want us to do?" Jaquan asked ruefully while my eyes drifted over towards Shawnee.

The robe barely extended to the furthest curve of her ridiculous hips. This left me looking at a perfect inverted triangle between her thighs. That patch of satiny black likely belonged to panties or some sort of lingerie underneath. Shawnee was having the time of her life being a sexual being, just grinning back without a word as Renee snatched at my ear making me yelp.

"Both of you goons, are gonna go pick up some food from Mr. Chows."

"WHAT?!!" Again we yelled in tandem. Mr. Chows was a Chinese restaurant ten miles away and it was obvious we were being kicked out of her pirated shoot.

"Yeah, and bring some ice cream back for Daisy too, for when she gets home from school."

"Okay." Jaquan replied sullenly walking away fishing in his pocket for keys while my eyes lingered on Shawnee. I glanced at Renee holding the digital camera she bought me. I made sure Jaquan wasn't looking grabbing a handful of her butt, instead. Renee paused for a second, looking over her shoulder at me, slanted eyes now slits.

"Oh, you wanna play?"

I bolted out of the living room as Shawnee chortled.

"Bye." She called after me in a flirty voice.

Jaquan was waiting in his Mustang convertible with a knowing smirk on his face as I got in beside him. I was a little worried he'd witnessed me groping his woman, but he turned the music up loud. He reminded me so much of Renee even speeding down the alley only to stop on a dime at the end of it. Like before, I had to stop myself from flying out of the seat by pushing my hands into the dashboard.

I quickly snapped my seatbelt into place as he put on his mirror shades. A familiar face appeared as we rounded the corner. Mintzy was outside her corner bodega sweeping up while her son and two associates loitered nearby. She was wearing a shitty looking turquoise housecoat and her favorite ratty wool sweater as Jaquan took notice.

"Mintzy always look like a fucking bum." He commented.

"Shirley didn't look like that last time I saw her."

"Shirley?"

"Yeah, don't you know her first name?" He grinned acknowledging a truth unspoken as we rounded the corner heading down the road towards the front of Renee's Salon.

"Hey, check it out." I glanced over finding that Yoli was still sitting out on the curb smoking, intermittently staring at the face of her phone.

"Don't." I averted my eyes, but he kept rapping my bicep with his knuckles until I glanced over towards his open driver's side window.

There was no real traffic on the street as Jaquan pulled up to the crosswalk placing us between Yoli and the salon. He expertly drifted to a stop flashing his lights as he continued nudging me with his elbow. I leaned over looking through his window finding her sitting there staring me directly in the eyes.

She was sitting on the edge of the curb in an upright fetal position with her arms wrapped around her knees. There was a lit cigarette in one hand, her phone in the other. I didn't know what to say freezing up as she took a few drags on her cigarette. She slowly went from a casual expression to a sly knowing smile as I sat back in the car.

"CUZ, CHECK IT OUT!!" He began excitedly elbowing me in the ribs, until I took a second look.

Yoli was still sitting there but now her long legs were parted, cocked wide open flashing the crotch of her panties at both of us. She took a few more drags on her cigarette before flicking the butte at the car, raising an eyebrow. The slight arch in her brow and half smirk said more than she could've relayed verbally.

"She's looking at you man."

"No, she's looking at both of us, Jaquan." He looked at me doing a doubletake before taking another look.

I watched him motion towards me earning a nod in the negative, followed by another motion towards himself earning another negative. Jaquan motioned towards both of us, getting a full beaming grin.

"Aw man, she's serious." Both of our phones started ringing off the hook simultaneously with dual facetime requests.

"IT'S RENEE, GO!! GO!!"

The light ahead turned green as both of us fidgeted around in the front seat like someone tossed a grenade into the car. Jaquan hit the gas propelling the car forward as if we were in a drag race. The calls stopped the minute we cleared the intersection proving that we were visible from the second floor apartment.

Renee Kelly knew her business assigning us that food quest because Mr. Chows was extremely busy with a line snaking out of the door. Neither one of us brought up the women preferring to talk of old times, some sports also trading funny anecdotes about our parents while we waited. It felt good to get away from the drama even if it were to get us away from Shawnee.

A few ladies walked by staring at my cousin, but it was like he didn't even know they existed. One of them, some thin blonde looker came back with her phone in hand, but he waved her away earning a death glare. We decided that he would spring for the Chinese food, while I picked up the tab for the ice cream.

While we sat outside the restaurant waiting, I received the first in a series of pics from Renee of the shoot. I kept it to myself initially while my cousin watched videos on his phone. I was heartened to discover my mentor fully indulging in her creative musings with what appeared to be an actual photo shoot with the revamped Ms. WTF. Shawnee Thompson had truly been made over in a black lace bralette top and matching high waisted thong.

I took a closer look realizing Shawnee was wearing some fullback lace panties. Her infamous derriere turned everything she wore into thongs at this point. She was expertly posed on the pink rug and ottoman in a series of cheesecake pics that were visually scintillating.

I couldn't believe this was the same female who normally hid her figure under layers and layers of sweats essentially looking like some humanoid sports mascot. Renee outdid herself giving me an appreciation and understanding why we were tossed out of the apartment. There was no way that shoot was happening with either of us present.

I perused my personal favorite of the set which depicted Shawnee lying on her stomach, ass up to the world as large as the afternoon sunlight played off her mild olive skin tone giving it an almost orangish glow. I texted Renee asking if she wanted me to post the pics on our site only to be informed that she'd assisted Shawnee with the establishment of an Instagram page instead before sending me another set of photos. True to her ethos, Renee Kelly was ten steps ahead of me.

Shawnee Thompson, my Ms. WTF appeared in a light blue competitive swim suit that struck a compromise between her body issues and Renee's desire to turn her into a plus sized sex symbol. Her upper half was hidden away while her "assets" were allowed to flourish. The backshot alone forced me to dig my hand into my pocket to readjust myself. Renee did such a good job that I was getting impatient waiting for our order, when a seconds long clip appeared in my messenger along with smiley face emoji.

"SHIT!" Jaquan perked up next to me, looking at his phone.

"What?" He excitedly handed me his phone looking like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Check it out." Shawnee was seen lying face down pretending to read a book while biting an apple, casually making her cheeks clap. This was definitely a callback to my original shoot with Rashida Sikes aka Chi Town Thunda.

She was perfectly still above the waist as the twerking and audible claps became loud enough for this guy sitting next to my cousin to hear. I looked at the clip on my phone finding Shawnee sitting on the pink ottoman leaning back on both hands with her thick legs spread apart. It was almost like she were looking right at me from the face of my android as she glanced down at her crotch. Ms. WTF took it one step further licking her fingers before applying them to her mound, looking up at me licking her frosted bottom lip.

"JAQUAN GET THAT FUCKING FOOD, WE GOTS TO GO!!"

Not ten minutes later Jaquan was gunning it down the street halfway there when we realized there was still the matter of securing ice cream mostly for his little girl, Daisy. Making a U-turn that would've made Speed Racer proud, my cousin burned rubber to the closest grocery store which turned out to be a mile and a half away from Mr. Chows restaurant.

"Get out."

"You ain't going in with me, Jaquan?" Ironically, there was a winding line of cars leading up to the whole foods store. We were at the tail end of that caravan.

"Just run in and get the shit; it's better than us waiting for a parking space."

"Uhm, okay man; uh what kind of ice cream should we get?"

"DON'T YOU KNOW NOTHING?!! Uhm, Daisy likes them strawberry shortcake popsicles, snag a box of those and some cookies and cream for Renee."

"Uhm, sure man; pick me up by the store entrance, right?"

"WHAT YOU WAITING FOR, GET A MOVE ON NIGGA!!" Jaquan tossed two twenties in my face emphasizing his impatience. I knew exactly how he felt opening the door, stepping a foot onto the pavement.

"Picking me up by the entrance, right?"

"BRUH, GO GET THAT FUCKING ICE CREAM!!" I left the car taking a few steps away from it as he stared at the face of his phone grumbling to himself. I turned going into a little sprint when the sound of burning rubber assailed my ears.

Jaquan peeled out of the parking lot leaving me behind.

Thirty five minutes later I arrived outside Renee's salon in an uber lugging plastic bags filled with a tub of ice cream for Renee and a box of the ice cream popsicles for Little Daisy Kelly. It took a while for me to rent a car to pick me up from the grocery store after braving the congested aisles and extended time waiting to be checked out.

Jaquan pulled a fast one leaving me with the quandary of pursuing him right away or purchasing the items his woman / my mentor requested, Renee herself actually stalling both of us. The one heartening thing arriving at the front of the salon was Yoli's disappearance from her curbside perch. I stepped out on the pavement turning to find a site that made my blood boil through the picture window of her shop.

Little Daisy Kelly was sitting on the sofa in the waiting area watching a kids movie on the salon monitor. She was eating a strawberry shortcake popsicle. Her cute little head turned in my direction with a miniature version of her mother's scowl on it. We exchanged glances for a second, then she went back to watching her movie ignoring my presence.