May & December

Glimpses of my time with Scott flashed through my mind, but this was different, so different. Somehow the solid warmth of his finger felt right…filling me, satisfying my inner cravings in a way that nothing else had. I had asked for an appetizer, and been given a feast.

Ben watched my face as he continued to probe, gauging my reaction, judging how much I could take. Then, when he felt the time was right he lay me down on the deck, bent forward over a bundled sail bag as he positioned himself behind my splayed thighs.

I shivered. Could I do this? Would Ben stop if I wanted him to? I needn’t have worried. Ben was not Scott. Of course he’d stop. Ben would never force himself on me, or on anyone. I was safe in his hands…as safe as I wanted to be.

Gently, Ben pressed against my body, his hands reaching around my torso and rolling my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. I felt his warm breath against my back, his silken sighs enveloping me.

“I want you to tell me if I do anything that you don’t want,” he rumbled deeply. “I want you to enjoy this too…”

I felt his hands begin to stroke my body, sliding slowly along my skin with seductive ease until I quivered with anticipation.

“Oh, Jillian,” he breathed, his fingers stroking between my thighs. “You’re so beautiful, so sensual. Relax, Jillian…relax and let me take care of everything”.

Slowly he caressed the wet slit between my thighs, his hands evoking a breathless response that brought me to the very edge and beyond. Then, sharing the wetness along my nether furrow he began to ease his finger once more into my tight, resistant orifice.

I gasped, struggling with myself at first, then gradually relaxing my body as I warmed to his touch. This was so different…so sensuous. It was hard to believe that this was the same act that Scott had forced upon me.

Slowly, Ben stretched my diminutive opening with his fingers, preparing the way as he stroked my clit and listened to my whimpers of passion. Finally, as I felt myself melt once again into his hand, he began to press his thick, heavy knob against my narrow portal, easing it inward until I felt as though I would be torn apart.

“More, Jillian…more?” he asked, panting. “Tell me…do you want this?”

I paused for but a second. This coupling was painful, but in a way I’d never experienced before. I should want him to stop, I thought…I should be begging for him to stop…but I wasn’t. Instead I wanted all of the sweet, primal pain he could offer, all of the erotic sensation that shot like lightning through my body.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered through clenched teeth. “Please, Ben…don’t stop!”

And he didn’t. In one hardened thrust he pressed inside of me, pumping the throbbing head of his sex deep into my body as I strained to relax beneath him. Stroking my hips he paused, waiting for my body to accept his massive invasion, and then he began to move.

Slowly at first, and then with a deep, pounding rhythm he filled me over and over. My nails dug into the sail bag, grasping spasmodically with each new advance until I felt there could be no more.

His right hand now began a rhythm of its own, but it had another agenda. “Cum for me, Jillian,” he murmured though tightened lips, his fingers stroking deeply inside my dripping mound. “Let me hear you come.”

Silently, I bit my lower lip, the end so close…so close. Mewling sounds escaped into the night air. Was that me? Did those bestial sounds come from my lips? Had I lost all touch with…

And then I came unraveled. All thoughts of civilization flew from my mind as I rutted into his palm, urging him to complete me in every way possible.

Ben held tight, his forceful strokes now battering deep inside of me, pummeling me until with a loud groan I felt his release flood my inner being, gushing in mad profusion down my thighs and onto the deck.

Then, with exhaustion so total that even words failed us, he dropped beside me on the deck and wrapped his arms around me. How long we lay like that, I have no idea, but eventually we slipped over the side and washed ourselves in the cool waters of the lake before trailing once more below deck to curl deep into Ben's welcoming bed.

Our vacation was half over now, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. How would I survive without him once we were back in Tempe? How could I watch dispassionately as he stood before me in class and taught a room full of coeds about mathematical statistics. Who would fill my aching arms as I curled alone in my bed longing for our nights of passion aboard Jennie’s Dream?

Who? ________________________________________________Chapter eight

The next day flew by in a haze of sensuous indulgence. We kept to ourselves that day, alone in the solace of our fiord, far from the prying eyes of the world beyond. Every thought, every turn propelled us once more below decks to enjoy the intimacies we had come to know so well. And then it was all over.

The sun dawned on our last day, and it was time to return Jennie’s Dream to her mooring and make our way back to the hot, bustling streets of Tempe. We spoke very little that morning, each lost in our own silent farewell to a time that had meant so much to both of us.

The next few weeks flew by with a speed unknown to man, and in no time at all the class was parting from the last session. Ben and I had spent much of those intervening evenings at my apartment, touching, holding and making love as though each day was our last. Finally, we had to face the unspoken truth. In a few days he would be leaving, and I would be staying here. Our dance had come to an end. It was time to say “good-bye”.

We made long, sweet love that last night, each movement a memory in the making as the clock ticked its incessant parade toward the end.

And then he was gone.

I buried my face in his pillow, inhaling the lingering scent of him as I cried in the solitary gloom of my bedroom. Life was a cruel master, I thought, to offer so much and then snatch it all away. How could I go on?

The next weeks were a haze of tears and shuttered windows. The gentle breezes of summer gave way to the turbulent gales of the monsoon season, and the very heavens joined in my sorrow. Gutters ran heavy with the overflow of a thousand teardrops, and still it was not enough.

Then, exactly two weeks later the phone rang. It was Ben! Our time apart had been as hard on him as it had been on me, and he wanted me to join him in San Diego aboard Jennie’s Dream for his trip into the unknown!

Eagerly I packed my few meager belongings and called my landlord to sublet my apartment…and then I was on my way.

Ben met my plane at the airport. He looked different somehow, as though he’d lost weight and needed sleep. I could tell by his expression that he thought the same about me, but it was all so inconsequential now that I put it aside.

It was a tearful reunion, filled with the promise of endless tomorrows. If I had missed him before, it paled now compared to the extent of my joy at seeing him once more. He had wanted me by his side, he had wanted me in his arms…he had wanted me.

So overwhelming was my happiness at seeing him once again, that I failed to see the shadows behind his eyes, the wrinkles that had replaced the laugh lines at the corners of his lips. If the chill of an ill wind lay on the horizon, I was happy to ignore it. All I wanted for now was a lifetime with Ben aboard Jennie’s Dream. Beyond that, nothing else mattered.

Slowly he wended his way through the beautiful streets of San Diego in his rental car until the harbor burst before my gaze. It was magnificent! And there, queen of all she surveyed sat Jennie’s Dream, riding easily at anchor, brightly and eagerly awaiting her grand adventure.

Ben’s rubber Zodiac sat tied up at the dock, and soon we were on our way. Within minutes we had pulled alongside her sleek, polished sides and Ben was tossing my suitcases up and over the railing onto her deck.

“We have a couple of days before we can leave,” he said. “There’s a part I need that’s being Fed Ex’ed from New York, and then we’re off. Until then I thought it might be nice to check out the sights around San Diego.”

I nodded a quick assent, but what I really wanted was already onboard. I was with Ben once more. What could compare to that?

San Diego is a tourist’s paradise, and we took full advantage of our surroundings. The gentle sea breezes and temperate climate all wove together to form a delightful tapestry that should have left me with nothing but hope and happiness. So why was this tiny dark cloud perpetually hovering on the horizon?

Ben had seemed a trifle distant during those days, but then he had a lot on his mind. Getting Jenny’s Dream squared away was a Herculean task, and I wasn’t much help. What I knew about preparing for a lengthy sea voyage you could have written on the back of a postage stamp.

Our last day in port was filled with shopping for last minute perishables and fine tuning the last of the many odds and ends that our initial run to Hawaii would entail.

And then it was all finished. One more night in San Diego, and we would begin our new lives together.

We sat on the deck that last night, listening to the sounds of the waves lapping against the sides, and watching the lights along the harbor. Music drifted across the water from a houseboat tied a short distance away, and we sat back and let it waft over us. Tonight we would say farewell to the mainland, and dream of a thousand tomorrows beneath the stars.

One by one the lights along the wharf vanished, until finally only the bare essentials remained. Smiling, I squeezed Ben’s hand and made my way below deck to get ready for bed.

“I’ll be down in a little bit, Jennie,” Ben said.

I froze. “Jennie?” Ben had called me “Jennie”. I chewed my lower lip. Jennie had meant everything to Ben. They’d had thirty years together. It was only reasonable that he would have a momentarily lapse, particularly when he was so tired. It was nothing, I told myself…nothing.

Chasing the demons from my mind, I went below and undressed, listening for Ben’s footsteps on the deck above. Time passed, but only silence held rein on Jennie’s Dream. Finally, my concern overcame me and I made my way silently up the stairs from the galley to see what was keeping Ben.

Quietly, I peered into the darkness. At first Ben seemed to be sleeping, sitting as he had been before in the lounge chair by the anchor chain. But then, as I watched unseen from the hatchway, he began to move.

I saw then that not everything was as I’d left it, for in his hands Ben held his wallet, open now to the photo insert that held so many memories.

“It should have been you…” he whispered so faintly that I thought my imagination must be playing tricks on me. Then, closing the wallet once more, he tucked it into his front pocket and prepared to rise from his seat.

Quickly, I hurried down the stairs and skittered back to bed, hoping beyond hope that what I thought I’d heard had been merely a passing breeze that had played with my senses. In moments, Ben appeared in the doorway, his face overshadowed by something unspoken. He slowly turned out the light, then slipped beneath the covers, molding his body against the contours of my own.

I sighed as I felt his hands begin their sensuous journey over my flesh, stroking and kneading my aching breasts until the nipples stood erect and hard beneath his touch and a tight coil of passion began to fill my belly.

Smiling in the ebony darkness, I turned to him then and pressed my body against his, taking his heat and making it my own. How lucky I was to be a part of his life. How lucky I was that he was mine…

Gently I pressed him back upon the downy pillows and sealed his lips with mine, twining our tongues until it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. Then, I made my way down his body, licking here, savoring there until I found myself kneeling between his thighs, his throbbing sex cradled in my palms.

“Let me make love to you,” I whispered as I placed the tip between my lips. “Let me make this night a memory.”

And so I took him deep into my throat, tasting the salty tang of his essence as it seeped against my wandering tongue. Advancing and retreating, over and over he slid between my lips, the sound of his sighs becoming ragged in the silence of the night.

His velvet rod seemed to have a life of its own now, quivering beep in my throat as I caressed the rounded orbs beneath with my fingertips. Harder he grew, harder and hungrier as I drew him forth, milking the early fluid from his body and into the wet heat of my mouth.

He curled his fingers in my hair then, holding me as he arched his back and began to thrust urgently into the molten heat that hid behind my lips. He was close…so close…

How I longed to straddle his body and feel his massive pillar cleave my wet and waiting core, running slick between my thighs even now. How I wanted to feel him deep in my body. But this time was for Ben, I reminded myself…this was my gift.

His grip on my hair was almost painful now, his groans filling the room as he plunged deep into my throat. Then, in one fluid motion he called to me, and laying me prone on the bedding he penetrated deep into my eager body, cleaving my wet folds and pummeling the very limits of my being.

I felt him then, rushing of monumental proportions as he filled me, trembling and overflowing with his seed, spilling from my heated cavern and onto the sheets, flowing as though life itself were in the balance.

Finally, heart pounding, he gathered me into his arms and held me fast as I stared into the darkness. How could he know what I was thinking…what I was feeling there in the lightless silence of the room? How could he know that moist, scalding tears filled the corners of my eyes, running in salty rivulets into my hairline? How could he know that the name he’d called as he’d slipped into the whirling labyrinth of passion…

…had been “Jennie?”

Chapter 9

I lay awake that night, listening to the silence stretch on into morning, wondering what course to take. I knew now that Jennie was still with Ben, that this trip was meant for them…and not for me.

How had Amora let me go when it tore at her heart so terribly? How could I do the same for Ben? Did I have her strength?

“If you love someone, set them free,” she’d said…”and if they were truly yours, they’ll return.” But would Ben come back? If I let him go, would I lose him forever?

I thought again of how much I loved him, and how much his happiness meant to me. I thought of the years he and Jennie had planned this voyage of discovery for just the two of them…and then it came to me.

Jennie was here, onboard this boat almost as surely as she had been the long years through. She was here in the lovingly polished woods, the gleaming brassware…the gaily colored sails. This was Ben’s last hold on his lost love. This was always meant to be a voyage for two…and I had placed myself where I didn’t belong.

I had to let him go.

By the time Ben woke I was already on deck waiting for him, my bags packed and sitting patiently in the Zodiac. I’d planned what I wanted to say, telling him that I’d had second thoughts, that I needed to stay and finish my degree…but it wasn’t necessary. One look at my face and he knew.

Silently he rowed me to shore, placing my belongings on the dock as though in a dream. The sadness in his eyes spoke volumes as he held me one last time, far more eloquently than words ever could.

“I won’t forget you, Ben Gates,” I whispered, holding myself together by the thinnest of threads.

Ben nodded, and kissed me good-bye, a look of both sorrow and gratitude on his face. Then, turning, he stepped back into the Zodiac and began to row, growing smaller with each stroke until he faded into the seascape and was swallowed up by the churning harbor traffic.

I don’t know how long I sat there, watching as Jennie’s Dream made her way out of the harbor, but finally a taxi pulled alongside the wharf and asked if I needed a ride.

Silently, I nodded, and he loaded my luggage into the trunk and began to pull away from the curb.

“Where to, Lady?” he asked as he checked for an opening in traffic.

I looked at him, puzzled that I had no answer. And then I felt it, Amora’s key, laying warm and secure about my throat.

“You’ll always have a home here,” she’d said. And so I did.

“Take me to the airport, please,” I said with a sigh.

Already I could feel the warm sand between my toes, and Amora’s golden smile.

I was going home.

The End