May - December

I didn't think her parents would be agreeable so, I mentioned the M word. She said yes but not yet. We reached a compromise to get engaged for at least six months before we got married. She would live with me and Pamela during that time if she couldn't live at home. Cindy expected her parents to object and said it might take six months or longer for them to figure out how to deal with it. She wanted me to be sure I understood she wanted to marry me no matter what. It was her hope her parents would come around, but if they didn't . . .

It was time to tell Pamela. I had to do it alone. I would have rather kissed a cobra. "Pamela, I have something I need to discuss with you."

"HOT DAMN. You finally got a woman. Tell me. Tell me."

"Well, you've guessed it. I have found the woman I want to marry."

"Daddy, I am so happy for you. Who is my 'new mother?'"

I heaved a big sigh. "Cindy."

"WHAT???!!!! No way in Hell. You'd better be kidding."

"No, I'm not kidding. We're in . . ."

"Oh no, was that who helped you mess up your sheets? EWWW Gross! I think I'm going to be sick." She ran into the bathroom and contributed her lunch to the commode. After cleaning up she came back.

"Dad, this is so wrong on so many different levels. First, you're a cradle robber at best and a pedophile at worst. Secondly, Mom is turning over in her grave right now. How can you disgrace her memory like this? Third, if you do this, you will risk losing me as a daughter." She waited with crossed arms standing in 'the stance of defiance' for my reaction.

"First, I would classify it as May-December romance if we are using clichés. Personally, I would use May-September. I'm not that old. Secondly, I think your Mom would care more about my happiness than the age of the woman who was bringing me happiness. Finally, you will always be my daughter. I will always love you. I will be sorry my marrying Cindy might disappoint you. I was hoping for more understanding for my feelings."

Pamela did not calm down. "Do you realize that in a few years when she's put you in the nursing home, she'll be having girls' nights out every night of the week. How are you going to keep up with her? She'll be looking for some strange dick a minute after you say, 'I do.' Dad, you can't. You just can't."

"At this point, I think all we can do is to agree to disagree. You need to be prepared. Cindy may be moving in soon depending on her parents' reaction."

"You'll be glad if her father doesn't come over and shoot you. That's assuming I don't shoot you first." She stomped out of the room.

It didn't take long to find out. Later that night, the doorbell rang. It was Cindy's parents, Bill and Nancy. I opened the door and was immediately hit in the nose.

"Bill, I told you not to get violent. Roger, let me get a rag and some ice. Bill, you go sit on the couch and don't move or I'll cut your balls off."

I sat in my recliner with my handkerchief holding back the blood. Nancy came in with a hand towel and some ice in a zip lock bag. We sat in silence for a while. Nancy finally spoke up. "My guess is that you've having some type of middle age crisis along with a delayed reaction to the loss of Angela. You know how close Angela and I were. I have spent many an evening with Pamela to help her get over her mother's death. We appreciated your help to get Cindy to come out of her shell."

Bill interrupted, "Then we find out that you were brainwashing our little girl into becoming your kiddie porn slut. What would you think if Pamela and I started fucking? How would you like that?"

"Bill, you're not helping. Now sit there and shut up!"

Nancy turned towards me. "Roger, you have been a close friend, almost family. I hope you will take some time and reconsider. If you really care about Cindy, you'll see she is still a child. Let her go off to college. Date boys her age. Things may look different to her by the time she graduates. If you two get married now, you'll always have to wonder if she is thinking about missing out on other male relationships. She might want other men her age to have sex with because of her inexperience. You two may be happy for a few years, but do you want to lose a second wife, this time to adultery?"

"It doesn't seem you have much faith in your daughter. I do. I have thought of everything you mentioned, many times over. Getting married is a risk, a challenge, and there is no certainty of how long a couple will have together. Our marriage will have a special intensity to live and love to the fullest, not because I am older but because I learned the hard way that life does not promise anyone tomorrow regardless of their age."

"So, this is about you getting some while you can." Bill's face was flush. He ignored Nancy's gestures to be quiet. "Cindy has agreed to give you some snatch, so you're taking it. Probably easier than trying to convince a woman your age to do the dirty. Well, I'm going to do everything in my power to convince her to give you up. I will disown her if she stays with you and I will bribe her to go away to school. If it costs my last penny, I'll do it."

"You two have been great neighbors. Nancy, you were a great friend to Angela and a life saver for Pamela. Please understand that losing our friendship weighed heavy on my decision making. Consider that when I tell you that I truly believe that Cindy and I are meant to be joined as one. I hope you will think and pray about this. At this time, I don't see anything to change my mind. I believe Cindy is of the same bent."

"What does Pamela think about this?"

"She's on your side."

"Doesn't that tell you something?"

"It makes me sad but doesn't change my mind."

"Let's get out of here before I kill him."

They left and before long, Cindy came over with a suitcase. "Guess I'm moving in. Have you told Pamela?"

"Yep. She's not too happy."

"I feel bad for them, but I feel good for us. I'm convinced this is the right thing to do."

"Come on up, I cleared out half the closet and bathroom space for you."

Cindy and I got married in a small ceremony. Bill and Nancy agreed to come but insisted the part about 'Who gives this bride away?' be stricken from the vows. Pamela and my sister, who Pamela was staying with, did not come.

Cindy went to college and got her teaching certificate. Even though the local college did not have a great reputation, the fact that Cindy aced the National Teacher's Exam and was a math teacher gave her a choice of jobs. She chose to teach at the middle school which was only a few blocks from our house. Not once in her time in college did Cindy express the desire to hang out with any of her classmates. When she wasn't in class, she was home with me.

We seldom fought as a couple. The big issue was children. I was almost 50 years old. She lobbied for a child. I asked if that was because she wanted a piece of me around since I was so close to dying. Cindy got angry. "So, what if it is. The most important thing is that I want a child and I only want a child of yours whether you're here a year or 100 years. Got it!" Her logic and determination won out.

Jeremy Angel Compton was the most beautiful child I had ever seen next to Pamela. I sent a picture of him to her. Pamela was now married with a child of her own. Although I had sent her and her child birthday cards and gifts, Christmas cards and gifts, all were returned unopened. I sent the picture of her half-brother by email. As always, I signed off 'Love you, Dad.' I was shocked to tears when I got a response back, 'I love you, too.' The glacier had begun to thaw.

A furious sequence of emails followed. Pamela's heart had melted, partially because time seemed to show the relationship between me and Cindy was real, and partially because she felt her son needed his grand-father. We made plans to spend the holidays together.

The birth of our son helped finish healing the rift with Cindy's parents. They wanted unlimited access to their grandson. Bill finally apologized for breaking my nose that day. He couldn't help himself from kidding that he should have kicked me in the balls instead. I told him that if he had, he would not be enjoying his grandson today.

We had over 13 years of a wonderful life. God must have thought that I had gotten too self-confident because I might be feeling he owed me for taking Angela away. Whatever the reason, karma or God, struck again.

I came home early one day. I heard Cindy moaning in our bedroom. I had read too many cheating wife stories not to understand what that meant. I got my phone ready and crept up the stairs. Our bedroom door was open. I jumped in and started taking pictures. There was Cindy sitting on the edge of the bed, fully clothed, crying. When she saw me, she said, "Roger, we have to talk."

The talk was not what I expected. Cindy had pancreatic cancer. Almost no hope for survival. We didn't have too long to plan for the end. My sister, Pamela, her husband and son, Bill and Nancy formed a support group around me and Jeremy. Pamela was especially helpful because she had survived almost the same thing as Jeremy was about to.

This time I did not dwell much on the unfairness of life. This time I concentrated on the happiness of having the time I was able to share the love of two of the most wonderful women I had ever known. Cindy and I had made it a point to not postpone the bucket list pleasure trips and activities because we knew from my example with Angela, you never know when a life may be taken.

I don't know if I will be lucky enough to have another woman to become a couple with, but I hope that if I do and I die before her, she will be happy for the time we had and not disappointed in the time we should have had.