All Comments on 'Me and My Shadow Ch. 01'

by MasterOfSin

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  • 10 Comments
GoldFinger578GoldFinger578over 5 years ago
More

Give us more please. I want to see what you have in store for these two.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Cool shadow stoey

Nice story its very unique i would love to see more

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
I LOVE the shadow concept!!!

It's awesome, the story could do with a re-write though.

Although having an adult body tue shadow creature should have the mind only aa old as the MC (since they're born together i assume)

Also NO boy would be able to search for and discover porno on the internet if constantly being shadowed (forgive the pun) by a hot babe. For 2 reasons, a child with horny hormones would either devote all his lust to his available partner and there is 0 privacy.

Just imagine watching porn with your parents, the kid would have to either suppress his urges behind a façade of naivety, & remain a virgin.

OR

Give in to his urges and have sex with his shadow.

I find it HIGHLY improbable that he'd had ever watch porn his entire life.

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The concept is great!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Updated Ideas

Yeah I read it now and all I can say is kill this story and start up a new one leave the character he ight but the whole shadow thing is weird can't real get into and the midget bitch cancel her to just giving you ideas it's time for a make over !

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Ideas

Real niggas smoke weed , play sports , party , experiment with drugs cut class for moves etc but I haven't even read this story I'm just giving you ideas because yolo and also get some dork nigga make him into a God but put some detail into and don't give him the easiest road start with a decent basis not a complete nerd and turn him into a god that fucks bitches. Idk that what I want to read about and base the story on high school because they are the greatest Times of your life .

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

Just wish it hadn't finished so quickly. Hope to see more soon.

MasterOfSinMasterOfSinover 7 years agoAuthor
in regards to spelling...

thank you anonymous,

unfortunately i have a tendency to lose myself when i read, i did do a spell check but i got too into rereading the thing and lost my concentration, what doesnt help is with words like "mire" being real i don't get the red line to let me know i missed something. as for learnt, i am not from "wanker" county as you put it, but grew up using that word without friction, as i do with spelt. i pronounce the T's softly when i speak, plus spell check has no issue with it, so its real somewhere

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
me and my shadow

Master,

I get this is a draft and a rough outline, but even then, when you post to the public you must proofread and spellcheck. I had real difficulty trying not to laugh.

"Mire than 2 friends," and "learnt."

Jesus, man, please.

One error should be clearly obvious. Second, spell out all numbers ten and below. Learn, learned. Most of us are not from Wanker County.

MasterOfSinMasterOfSinover 7 years agoAuthor
thanks 666iceman

i wrote this up on a whim in about 2 hours with no plot outline, just character ideas and personality. coming chapters will have time and thought put into them for sure

666iceman666icemanover 7 years ago
Always at the cross-roads

I liked the start, although a little short to get really into it. I feel that with the way you started this no matter what chapter you write you will always be at a cross-roads, at the end leaving the story with many various ways to continue. I just hope that others who comment on this do not complain about fact etc. To those that do I say just enjoy the tale and the journey you decide to take them on. Awaiting the next post.

Anonymous
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