by whispersofasexualnature
The story is pretty good once you get acquainted with the abysmally grammar.
I enjoyed the story, can't wait till more come out. Hopefully she lets the next virgin cum inside her.
There are a couple grammar mistakes. If you fixed them this would be a great story.
1st things first.. a bunch of spelling and word use errors.
2nd Prom comes before graduation in the USA, usually in May.
I just realized i posted the draft version not the final one. Sorry to all.
Just a minor point, but you need to read through looking for contradictions. It's sometimes easy to forget what you wrote earlier. Early in the story you say "He was short and scrawny and couldn't grow facial hair to save his life.", but later you say "God the stubble on his face .....".
A few grammar and spelling errors as noted but the story itself was superb ****. Thanks for posting!
I came here after reading primal lust and you have improved greatly since posting this.
I print out and read all your stuff to my wife and we both agree this doesn't even seem like you. Maybe im wrong and no disrespect or anything but this could do with a rewrite then make it a series.
Keep writing
3 stars