All Comments on 'Megan Ch. 02'

He was smart to leave, why the hell would he go back?

The title says it all.

Most of the author's males are doofuses. Can't figure out why. Many of the stories would be highly interesting if the characters had higher reality ratings. Too bad.

This one had promise but ran out of gas at the second part. Again, too bad.

this is the definition of a lame ending.....not pleased at all

don't really mean to be anonymous....just don't read these much and have never set up...if the all end like this....not likely to

And so he completely changed the guy's personality between ch 1 and ch 2.

I don't stop reading a story very often, but I made an exception for this Slirp disaster.

Maybe it ends great, but when both spouses are trashy people; when this ridiculous cheap, slutty mother wants to "experiment" with hung studs on the dance floor (a woman can have a sexual climax from grinding on the dance floor, and she's married?); when the husband, who at first has a spine and some standards for the marriage, but then becomes a disgusting, public embarassment to his wife and marriage; when he goes through a Jekyl and Hyde transformation and starts fucking sluts bareback, etc, etc, etc.

It is stomach-turning, disheartening, and very sad.

But, you know what the guarantee of a doomed marriage is, even before anything untoward happens? When the spouses start talking meanly and foully to each other, using disgusting, hurtful, trashy "bitch" talk. You will never recover your marriage if you talk to your spouse like that. It's over before it gets out of the gate.

Just disgusting. Those poor children are doomed to a degrading and low-class development.

Who wants to spend time with these characters? Not me.

the big party. At that point the main character became unrecognizable and the story went off the rails. I thought part 1 was really good so I was especially disappointed with the direction part 2 took.

.

Thanks for the offering. Not quite up to your usual standards.

((("Sorry hon, you're on your own now," she said as she hung up. My own mother hung up on me."))) and then she wouldn't answer his calls.. nor would his father? I'd face them BOTH down, tell them to GO FUCK THEMSELVES and to take a good last look at my face because they were NEVER going to see it again. (that's for THIS story... but then, it IS another of Slirpuff's fucked up fantasy world stories)

I'm done reading his shit. The stupidity that he passes off for normal is just too fucking annoying.

Liked the story enough to go 5* hated the ending there is always a chance at redemption but then in reality not everyone gets redeemed. Would have liked to have seen Megan leave a note on a napkin or something but your plot called for 2 assholes and they were. I think Megan did screw around even if there wasn't any proof.

what in the hell do you think will happen. TK U MLJ LV NV

What a downer. All the promise from ch. 1 was shot to hell here. Both spouses fucked up and both were too stubborn. Oh well.

no rating

Sometimes life sucks, sometimes it's just the story, both partners, not to mention their parents were complete asshats, and the story is simply not fleshed out enough to give them a more nuanced portrayal.

Not to mention, he has spent a year and a half without his family, and acted as if he wanted it to be permanent, burning his bridges. I'm not sure why he even cares that much anymore, though Megan and his parents are bastards for not wanting to let him know where his kids are, he should really get a lawyer rather than let them dictate things.

My suspicions is that it is some cliched and desperate attempt to show him what he's missing, else why would his own parents be in on it? 'shrugs' or maybe being an asshole just runs in the family.

I sat here reading this ( what I thought was going be ) a great story only to find the crappy finish you have left it in. Please you have to come up with a third chapter to this. If for nothing else then to just to get closer between the wife and the moron of a husband. well I did give it 4 stars till you finish the damn thing.

For such a good writer to leave this story in its current state is a surprise. I am confident he will resolve this situation with finality, one way or the other.

This guy is a loser. He is selfish, arrogant and self righteous. Whats good for the goose isn't, in his mind, good for the gander.

She was wrong behaving the way she did at the girl's night. He rightly goes off his nut about it.

Then he cheats and gets STD's but thinks its OK because he is drunk. Reading BTB lover's comments on other stories - when this is a wife's excuse, we are told it is not an excuse at all. And in real life it isn't an excuse for either gender.

She is no angel but she should re-issue the divorce papers and be rid of him - for her and the kids sake.

I hope there s going to be a third chapter to this.

dumb plot, dumb people, dumb author.

How did this guy go from a quiet, stay at home person to a guy who goes out and gets absolutely blotto at her WORK PARTY!

Never, not once was alcoholism cited as a personality trait until it was necessary to make the guy wrong.

Then, after almost alienating his wife permanently, HE GOES OUT AND DOES IT AGAIN? ALONE?

Meanwhile, remorseful repentant wife at the end of Chapter One does a 180 and decides 'Hey...you know what I REALLY need? I need to rub against more cocks! Because I love you but I want to rub against cocks. And I am going to blatantly tell you this, not give you ANY choices, but want to pretend I still respect you at all despite all evidence to the contrary."

So this woman who supposedly cared about her marriage plays dominance games, getting drunk with strange men...and in seeing her husbands reaction, doubles down?

It is exceptional circumstances which make dramatic writing. But it needs to make sense.

But my biggest WTF moment was when her 'dad' supposedly instituted this divorce. Last I checked, it requires one of the married parties to institute a divorce. So the decision to do this is HER responsibility.

Does she feel remorse? Not from anything I could see. Excuse me. She DID show remorse...to her parents. To her in-laws. To her accountant as she spent all this money on finding him. She got to bask in their adulation of social support "Oh...look at that wronged wife, living in penury as her husband abandoned her WITHOUT ANY REASON OR SUPPORT, but she STILL is spending her last red cent to find that worthless cur. Isn't she HEROIC!" As she loses the house because of her pride. As her kids go without because of her anger.

Because she, like so many other women, just can't shut her yap in belittling the person who is supposedly SO important to them. As they foreclosed on the house, was she basking in the glow of being a 'winner'?

So...quite a quandary you have going from here. Now he gets to scramble around trying to follow her. Cause it will be a damned short story if he shrugs his shoulders, wipes down the bar one more time and flirts with that blonde from Topeka at table 2.

If this turns into another "Big Mouth" where his parents have been lying to him about her intentions so he can 'do the right thing', I am going to be pissed. It was a shitty thing to do in that story. It is a shitty thing to do here.

But I don't have a lot of faith going forward.

Very entertaining and really grabs at the reader's emotions.

A few english mistakes do not significantly affect the story.

I really understand one aspect of your protagonist. Making poor decisions when you are emotionally involved and in an agitated condition. Sure thing making decisions about my company and its hundreds of employees, no problem. Discuss politics with friends or family, no worries I'll agree to disagree. But making a choice, when I'm arguing/discussing with the wife or children and I'll pick the wrong one! It's like you lose 50 points of I.Q. lol. On the other hand, I don't understand the running away to the Keys part.

Thank you for a very exciting read. I hope the last part comes out soon,lol!!

AMerryman

They need parents with maturity beyond five years old.

And now (birds?). No harm, no fowl in this part. I would say get an editor, but I am quite sure Slirpuff puts this stuff in his stories on purpose. Husband is a jackass idiot who gave up the moral high ground a long time ago. Hate all the characters including the bowels and fowls.

...I can't wrap my head around how far this dickwad's IQ fell and how self-centered he became, seemingly overnight.

What a disappointment. He should have made some effort to stay in touch, at least there would be some argument against her filing for abandonment....not much, but better than the total abandonment he dove into head first.

Now, in all fairness, he had no way of knowing that she dropped the divorce.....but rally, as this chapter made plain, they're better off divorced. They're both fucking irresponsible juveniles and should never have been allowed to marry in the first place.

Now all that's left is the housekeeping and regret.

Shame it went this way.

Always well written....not always as hoped....

Thank you.

This story was going well, then the guy suddenly became a complete asshole for no apparent reason. I couldn't figure that out, and everything after that was just dumb as dumb does all the way. No need to go any further, unless there is a reverse brain transplant or someone.

Story SUCKED.

Y'all going to have to do some pretty fancy story-telling to get yourself out of this one.

Abandonment is grounds for both divorce and custody. It is not grounds for the loss of parental rights. If she take them away without his permission, he can have her arrested for kidnapping.

sry not one of your better ones............stlcris

Am interesting plot which IMO can lead off down different avenues in the plot.

Not sure how the author is going to deal with situations created in the story of video of wife her fantasies, her wantimg open ticket to have fun, husband hetting drunk and cheating, husband moving away, wife finds husband, wife moves awsy amd dissappears, husband new job, factor in children now a divorce, it seems everyone is going to lose !

I usually really like your stories, but some of them are so frustrating. A lot of your stories can be summarized as "adults acting like children." Each one trying to one up each other. Choosing not to communicate and instead they run off and pout in the corner like a child. Using children, relatives, friends, as leverage. Most people don't behave like that in reality. So many of your stories could be solved if just one of them stopped being childish and communicated to their partner.

The two children in this story are perfect for each other. I hope they reconcile so that they can keep their childish behavior to themselves.

Sorry, but this is really terrible. There's no continuity; the characters randomly change behavior. I think you need to re-write this or put it to pasture.

Everyone looses in this story, the wife, the husband, the kids and the rest of the extended family. Hell, even the guy's boss looses because now the guy is distracted and not putting 110% into the business like he was before.

I read this, this morning, but had to think about what I wanted to say about it for awhile.

Is this "just another run of the mill" tale from the Slirp-meister? NO!

Is this his best work to date? Jury is still out....

Is this a genuine LW tale? Abso-FUCKING-lutely!!!!!!

Do readers prefer it when the WIFE is the only bad guy? Well, yeah, but you see....it's complicated.......

I can't begin to tell you how many stories I have read, where comment after comment derides the concept of "Saint Hubby".

That said, SOMEBODY has to be wronged, for it to be a LW story, so......

I really want to give Slirpuff the benefit of the doubt here. I mean, his reputation is such that even folks who want to slam his ass in comments keep coming back because they know.....

AND I MEAN EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU FUCKING KNOW

that he is in fact, like LW royalty around here.

I guess, in a way, that kinda means, something like, may be.... I mean just MAY BE....like he just MIGHT know what he is doing???!!!????

I have long harbored a secret suspicion that the typos, or lack of editing is something he does on purpose, just to laugh at you anal retentive bitches who have nothing better to say than "get an editor". Because, every last one of you THINK that he has never, EVER heard that before, or something.....

Anyway, SOME of the more thoughtful regular commenters here have correctly classified Slirpuff a master of highly emotive marital tension. Why have only a few of you seemed to grasp the concept of Slirp trying to outdo HIMSELF with this story? I mean, a wife WORSE than before. A husband WORSE than before. A situation that seems utterly hopeless. Characters SO thick, that it seems hard to believe they know how to tie their own shoes, much less learn anything from their massive failures in life. NOBODY can seem to see anyway out of the corner Slirp has seemingly painted himself into here.

The plebians on this site want to call it a slip in quality, or a shortsighted lazy effort from a formerly reliable scribe.

I see this as Slirpuff viewing this as a challenge.

Not only for himself, with his writing chops.

But especially, for the REST OF US!

Who are, by and large, a lazy group of readers who take the talents and efforts of others way too much for granted. And ALL of this done for free, with the only payment being a thank you, or a statement from a reader who was surprised to find themselves thinking outside of the box, for once.

I can't say this story is a fun read. But I don't think it was supposed to be. I can't say that I like husbands who are cheaters but still want to retain the position that they were wronged first.

But I DO like stories where characters learn something. And like most folks who get into deep shit, they have to hit rock bottom before they realize something INSIDE of THEMSELVES has to change, if ANYTHING is going to get any better.

Slirp has always known how to write stories with long legs.

Why are so many of you so quick to cut him off at the knees?

I mean, this is only the second lap, here people! The finish line is still a long way off.

For me, as always, this story can't begin to be judged until it is over.

Have the rest of you complacent little whiners forgotten that?

Ken the idiot wrote " He has run away. He is just a self centred immature arrogant mysogenistic PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!! No Wonder Megan correctly called him for what he is - A LOSER!!! She was having a bit of fun. The story makes clear over she did not cheat. He did!!"

NO asshole he was forced away by the wife's ILLEGAL restraining order

and NO you asshole we do NOT KNOW for a fact that the husband cheated.

READ it again ... SOMEONE _ we dont know who -sent the wife of video

of the husband walking out drunk with some other woman. And of course the idiot author does not have the husband talk to this strange woman

and we dont KNOW if Mega cheated or not. The fact that the husband does not have actual video does not prove anything....

and btw the way the 2nd kid is NOT from the Husband

Hard to imagine this is the same author whose work that I've enjoyed so much before. So a mother would lose her children's home, let them do without so she could ,make some empty gesture by not using the money sent to her. "I fucked up twice"....who didn't see that escape clause coming. Some serious silliness here.

So she set him up so she could have the upper hand. Did not work and she sent nuclear. Play with fire people.

That would solve the problems of this site and maybe the world! 5 for effort and content as usual write,. You're one of the best!!

So, she's doing the crotch rub with another man on the dance floor, starts treating her guy like crap, and is clearly in the wrong when good old Slirpuff tosses this into the mix: "Then I fucked up big time; not once but twice."

Can anyone say "contrived plot device"?

And that useless tramp of a wife suddenly becomes all holy and the "victim" in all this?

Somebody please kill that manipulating bitch dead, along all the so called parents who are backing her in this.

As for you, Slirpuff, knock of the sauce. You don't write worth shit when you're drunk.

and shoot the husband with their stupid ray. What the fuck happened to the character from the first chapter? He gets drunk and her company party? Then their marriage goes to hell from there, almost entirely because of him? Yes, she is stupid too, for even trying to restore a relationship with this dumb ass.

Really weird character morphing plot. Just end it and start over with something worth your time and talent.

but never got an answer, is the real Slirpuff letting someone else write under his name? This is choppy and hard to understand, is low on the dramatic tension and has the two main characters acting like middle school scorned lovers. Sorry it is a 2 star.

What did you expect?

Of course Slirpuff had to fold spindle mutilate and then pound on it with a sledge hammer.

Doing whatever it takes to make it the man's fault.

'Cause that's what he does.

your stories are ALWAYS worth reading and i look forward to them.

keep this one and the next ones coming!

anyone who really read this or your other stories and then fling shit instead of making constructive comments are trolls to be ignored.

RA

You have taken enough flack on this story already but I didn't care for chapter 2 either because his character changed so much in this chapter. As an author I concede that you have every right to write your story as you please. I honestly loved almost everything else you have written.. keep on submitting and I will keep on reading.

CB

Did you have a stroke or some other neurological issue after you wrote the first chapter.

It could not have been the same person unless you were brain damaged recently....

I do not care where you take me but please take me with you. I have seen this very thing happen repeatedly in my life and while they all start in the same place and most end up in the one of two ways, the journey is always different. The two assholes theme where both want to talk but neither want to listen followed by neither wanting to talk finishing with misunderstanding regret and remorse is real life. You made us first hate her because she refused to quit then you made us hate him because two wrongs never make a right. Then extremism on both parts only to learn that in their self discovery they both wanted the same thing. Yet, human nature tells us that until we remove the hurt and anger only then can we begin to fill the void with forgiveness and love. In the end, the only regrets should not be for what happened and instead the time wasting in getting back to where you belong because once time is spent it is gone forever.

Not that it is worth waiting for anyway but I wonder how long it will take for the next( and hopefully final) chapter,

The author can't spell and wouldn't know an interesting plot if one dropped into his lap. The story isn't erotic either.

Are you sure Matt M didn't write this steaming pile of trash? It reads as one of his shit piles

Although the stories are very readable, I often find that I don't much care for the characters in Slirpuff's tales, particularly the women. This one however, as developed in part 2, takes the proverbial biscuit. Two shallow, highly unpleasant people with a marriage that barely seems to exist running around like (ego)maniacs with no logical motivation, apparently trying as hard as they can to trash their own and each other's lives. Who are the readers supposed to root for? Why on earth should we have the remotest interest in what happens to them as long as they don't move in next door?

WTF ARE YOU STILL READING IT???????????????????????????????? We all know you love these LW whore stories, since your wife did the same to you!! Gave it a 5

Pick a fucking direction please. She's a cunt, she's not a cunt, He's a loser, he's not a loser. Like watching a ping pong game.

Not as smooth as most of your writing but not bad

Normally really like your work but this felt unedited. It was disjointed, seemed to jump from place to place and the main character seemed to flip flop so quickly on his emotions that i couldn't keep up. I thought he was pissed at Megan and all of a sudden he wants her back? I never saw where his emotions changed, they just did and we're left wondering why since there was no explanation, reason or him getting over anything.

The original plot was a good idea but this story feels like a draft as opposed to final form.

You denigrate the BTB peoplE in one sentence and then avow him killing himself in the next.Hey Ken Go back to slurping excess out of your wife Seems to be the only thing your good at.As for this ending .It was poorly done.None of the characters acted anything like they did in the first chapter.What happened to them?

I'm waiting 2 months for this let down . You so much better then this dragging out crap . She the one who shit all over her husband . Yes he was a worthless piece of crap to cheat . But I been in his shoes with a slut who thinks its all right to rub all over guys in bars ,then go to work and be laughted at or stores where strangers tell me they had a great time enjoying my wife's company . He should have divorced her after he made the DVD. If the next ch. not this week I won't read it . Where is the true Slirpuff ????

I am so glad Slirpuff took this off where he did so all the BTB Neanderthals can read all about themselves. He has abandoned his kids & wife. He has run away. He is just a self centred immature arrogant mysogenistic PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!! No Wonder Megan correctly called him for what he is - A LOSER!!! She was having a bit of fun. The story makes clear over she did not cheat. He did!! I am v happy she is about to divorce the fucktard & piss off somewhere he will never find them. He showed how much he really loved his kids - NOT!!!! Leave the shit to wallow in it. Perhaps in Part 3 Slirpuff should also have his parents rightly also cut him off; then he kills himself. That would do us all a favour. Perhaps Slirpuff could have Megan finding a nice new husband who is kind & understanding, & who realises that controlling your wife's worklife; clothes she wears; who she sees; & where she spends her money is a form of Domestic Violence - nothing less & any reasonable REAL MAN would never do it.

Ken

I found this uneven & disjointed. Not a great fan of having the previous chapter's last sentences repeated at the start of the following ------- lazy writing. I'm normally a fan of your writing, not always of your stories, however, I've noticed that in your last few that you need an editor to correct the errors & flaws that seem to be appearing more often. Pity that. Not the best followup chapter you've written. 3 ***

The story is disjointed. ......ok.......first of all, I'm not talented enough (or am too lazy) to write stories so I hope this is not like most annons.

There is no flow to the story. Yes, I'm old so i've seen how life kicks people in the teeth and i've seen how people react to these challenges. But the reactions in this story don't make a lot of sense such as the wife returning a check for that large of a sum of money......that is bullshit.

Then from nowhere, this guy has a drinking problem all the sudden. No warning, no lead in, no nothing.

So he moves away and has nothing to do with his sons for at least a year and a half. No phone calls......no nothing. You are trying to make this man out to be somewhat honorable and none of this is rational.

Slir........let this story die and start over. Give it a proper burial. Thanks for your past stories though and keep writing.

Shaka

turned this husband into a dickhead, plus the holes in the story line are huge. So he is at her company party and he is drunk so she leaves him alone so long he gets blind drunk and takes a slut outside and after the fact gets two STDs. Why after being so drunk did she not watch him and get him sober, sorry story just doesn't work. One minute he is a responsible husband and dad the next he is a drunken bum, just doesn't work. TK

There are so many problems with this story I don't know where to begin. First about the husband's drinking. He appears in the middle of chapter one with absolutely no hint that he's a drunk or a bully. Just suddenly for no reason he's drinking passing out sex with other women

The idea of the restraining order is also real problem. Let's assume that the wife overreactedand she now recognizes she overreacted issuing the restraining order.

She filed a fake and unjustified restraining order but is furious that the husband got emotionally devastated and took off because he was being kicked out of the house and being kept away from the kids.

WHY is his own mother putting ALLLLLLLLL the blame solely on him.

For example this..."Yeah, and she didn't take it. She didn't want your money. She wanted a second chance and we both know you blew that."

Hid own mother found out that her daughter in law filed fake misleading restraining order agsinst her own son...but its all gis fault

This is a stupid irrational inconsistent terrible story and nothing short of man bashing to the nth degree

How many of these fucktard, mouth breathers would demand that Megan be drawn and quartered for fucking some guy? How many of the BTB crowd would cheer as she ate shit and died for cheating on her husband? Where's the same hate for hubby?

Fucking hypocrites. I hope you all get AIDS from the whores you pay to fuck you and your wives leave you for real men.

One was good.

Two is swirling.

Flush or decently finish it.

"Communication is lacking" as a diagnosis of marital problems, Master_falcon90, is so broad as to be totally unhelpful. All relationships between people have communication difficulties; ranging from too much communication to too little, and from communicating about the wrong things to not communicating about the right things.

When a couple recognises that it is difficult to send and to receive the right messages between each other, when they commit to work consistently on their relationship, and when they learn from each time things go right or wrong, then there is a chance the relationship will be a positive one.

If you were to diagnose the 'lack of communication' in Slirpuff's story, where would you start?

L

going by this story, neither one ever loved the other. no love in this at all. he barely loved his kids. not that the dumb bitch is clear of all the fault. what she did before was worthy of a divorce.hell even her father and his mother pissed me off.just a bunch of assholes.what made no sense to me was why would she try to rape him in the divorce then turn down his money after she lost their house. yes i know she said it was her dad's idea. yet she fucking went along with it.

communication... is lacking in this marriage....

Two people that are neither very likable cause each other a lot of pain. The kids get screwed over... not an enjoyable story.

Oh...FYI. You cant get a restraining order in MN unless you can convince a judge there is real danger.... and that ain't easy.

MN reader

Pfft!!!

Who stole slirpuff's login and posted this?

Your male character is an immature idiot masquerading as an adult and Megan is much better off without him. End of story, stop it here and let it die because it is written as far as it needs to go. If she takes him back she is a fool as their children would be much better off with a male figure who uses their brain for thinking. After his fuckups why she would be trying to find him is something I can't figure out and really don't want to try.

Hmmm, I think maybe you might come to the conclusion I have no sympathy for the child Megan married. You are correct.

These two people are too fucked up to be believed. In fact, people who act like this are incapable of love, commitment and a successful marriage. There is no turning this around.

Megan's a nurse, probably an RN. She would earn enough money to keep make the house payment.

The story isn't great, but it would be better without all the mechanical errors. Don't count on the spelling and grammar check - get another human to read through your work before you publish it.

But that's what adults do sometimes. I firmly believe she's been cheating on him. She got lucky and didn't catch anything. He didn't get lucky and caught a disease. He needs to man up, go back and sue for divorce and make sure he gets the boys during the summers. No way to take the bitch back now. If they had the best marriage councillor in the world they'd never solve their problems. I sure as hell hope you don't have them get back together. That would NOT be good.

I like your stories...some vey much, but this one isn't making it in my opinion...sure this wasn't the end, but these two characters (husband and wife) have a lot of problems...And the wife began them by wanting to try different men...then they began to drink heavy...then he cheats and got STD's...this marriage to reborn will need a lot of psychiatric help...2* for now...

We waited how long for this fucking pile of garbage? 1*

You seem to get some of the dumbest readers when it comes to Brb. Great example here, she engages in short dancing with his knowledge and he lets it go..... until he decides it. Bothers him.... and that makes her a cheat. He gets drunk and sticks his chick in a diseased whore, and hes innocent. No you fucking idiots, drunk sex is still cheating, and if you believe otherwise, you are fucking hypocritical scum that doesnt deserve a wife.

Okay, how did they expect him to react? For all he knew, he was divorced with his ex-wife having taken everything but the clothes off his back and forbidding him from going to his house or seeing his kids. And then, she just shows up and stares at him and doesn't try to speak to him at all. As far as he knew, he was the one that lost everything partly due to an extremely dumb mistake on his part, but she certainly didn't help matters. So, when she shows up, he's to expect her to not be there to twist the knife more? Yeah, how he reacted to her was pretty good, but seriously, his mom or his dad didn't even tell him anything about the apparently fake divorce? And now they're taking his kids away for good when he abandoned them, despite the fact that he thought he was divorced and lost them? Yeah, no, this...this just isn't up to par with your usual stuff and I hope you don't leave it like this.

For all the talk of "we just hate cheaters", most of the lw crowd seems to hate a story about a man who cheats and then loses everything.

Almost as though all that anger they have and desire to see people miserable is just directed at women...

I read the comments and thought,"Gee it's Slirpuff. It can't be that bad." Fuck me was I wrong. Dude turned into such a douche bag and where does Megan come off with the high and mighty act? She is a cheating whore. I don't buy for a minute that it was harmless flirting. PLease tell me you submitted the wrong file and the real ch 2 will be out soon. This was not up to your standards.

Garbage. Pure fucking garbage. She is a cheating cunt and he gets fucked over. Where is the old Slirpuff? Lose the cuck version and find him.

You always write excellent flawed characters, Slirp. You add a humanity to this category that isn't seen very much. You always add the emotions that jump out of the page (screen), expressing themselves to us, the readers. Keep doing what you're doing, man. This is a great tale, so far.

5 Solid Stars

like Slirpuff can! He makes words plural by adding an apostrophe and an S. He constantly missuses words and has no idea that you are is shortened to "you're" and not your. His husband in this tale is dumb as a box of rocks and difficult to even tolerate. He's always needed an editor and that has not changed.

If you call it BTB (Burn the Bitch), she burned herself when she wanted to act like a whore. If BTB is Burn the Bastard, he sure did that when he didn't take control of things and let them get out of hands. I saw comments that say you bring a RAAC out of tough situations. I really hope it will be that, because those boys are "the biggest losers" in this plot. I feel sorry for them.

5 *'s and favorite story status.

With hurt like that on both sides. Cut your losses. Know that you are both beat. True forgiveness will probably never be had. Write letters to your boys. Keep a journal of your thoughts and make sure they get it when they are of age to understand. Highlight the mistakes you have made so they learn from it so they don't do the same in their own lives.

WTF? Does this story have a point? A good guy? Or just two selfish morons?

He is guilty, he blow his chance, she is a victim...

the boys will eventually come back to him, the slut wannabe can go on and get AIDS on her own.

As to the two main characters, several comments about the stupidity they both display are mostly correct. What I don't see is his parents not continuing to help. If she moves away, they won't have their grandkids around, a serious hurt for most grandparents. Most parents never give up on their kids, of any age, any problem, especially marriage if they like the spouse. She found him, he can find her. But his leaving, deserting his kids, is the worst thing either of these fools did. He sent money, but never checked to see how they were doing, not cool.

it was twisting and turning causing more churning and yet no resolution. i would say well done but you have psychotic characters that flip on and off from normalcy to the fringe... and two months. hopefully the third installment won't take so long to post. it;s good, just not up to your usual standards or so it seems.

They do not know how to live together with other people and certainly do not know how to communicate.

She searched the country to find him, when she finds him her conversation is he is a quitter, an asshole and loser. Why on earth would she want her kids to be with him?

You should kill them both and have the kids raised by her parents

But, there are married couples that are just as despicable as these two characters. The way you so skillfully developed them, could make one believe that you are writing from personal experience. Most of the suffering in this society, is experienced by children with parents like these two.

one of the other cucks who wrote In is as full of it as the story. he was cheated on made fun of and stbbed in the back by everyone of his extended family realize their family lied to them and want to contact him, good. if not, their loss. moveon.

Please don't write a chapter 3. He deserved what he got, and she is right to leave with the children. If you read carvohi's "Just too Happily Married" you will find that the protagonist took his wife back after she figuratively castrated him. My name is Sawmill-Slats, but for some reason I can't log in; so I have to comment as Anonymous.

Your first installment was good, entertaining and had a decent plot and conflict.

Then you flipped some idiot switch and your characters became different people who lost any sense of reason.

I normally enjoy your stories, but this left me wanting.

Anyway, thanks for sharing and please keep writing.

all the time when you are a jerk. TK U MLJ LV NV

No woman goes a year and a half with a husband gone and doesn't go out, even get laid so...

For reasons explained she shows up with the boys, gives him the cold looks, he ignores her, she leaves with an attitude and demeaning characterizations of his manhood and never...NEVER, once (after all the time and expense) said screw it, got in his face and demandewd he talk to her so...what the hell was this trip for?

This trip was to fuck him over, demean him, take the boys away and make herself feel good...period.

Did he fuck up...sure, after she drove him nuts with her conduct over and over. He should have just separated from her in the beginning, maybe a counselor would have helped them back together BUT - read between the lines...SHE likes flirting and getting risky with guys, that's her liking and that will not change. Eventually she would cheat, hurt about it and then just keep on cheating and/or she would end up drugged and gang banged.

Slirpuff, you did a good job showing this guy to be not so clever, not quick, even slow but you showed him to be an honest man and an idiot for losing control. He knew she would eventually cheat, even if she still didn't believe it. You brought her down to the keys to make the rest of his life a horror. She just wanted to fuck him over one more time, even if Dad had started it, she wanted the last word so you really messed with this guys head. She would never quit her BS and you know it.

As to Mother not cooperating with her whereabouts...good grief, this whole thing was a set up and paid for by Dad.

Find a way to get the boys (chapter 3) and let this guy have a reasonably normal life. There must be something she's doing...maybe - sneaking around with those black guys. As to working it out if he had talked to her...Not a Chance, read your own analogy.

Thanks and please...Chapter 3, get the boys!!! She might have started out being a decent wife but starting with the cozy flirting and fucking around - not a chance, she doesn't respect respectability and the black guy thing...seems possible - quite likely!

This story just turned into a huge turd

Puff, you can do better. I like to read your stuff. The first time she rubbed a Dick in a bar he should have thrown her out.

MCPO Jim

The first chapter wasn't bad and the first quarter of this wasn't bad -- but then it took a leap off the deep end that is just bizarre. I mean he was one character until then -- a bit a of a take no prisoners jerk but only a little -- and then he's just an asshole.

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After all he leveled at her, suddenly he has a problem with drinking and suddenly HE'S the one who cheated. I mean REALLY suddenly since there was no transition before the "Shit, shit shit..." parargraph. Just a jump in time and space. If you're going to do that, use something (e.g., ================) as a transition.

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What may make it worse was writing it in first person, where we know his thoughts and feelings. It's supposed to be the same person narrating, but it's like they are two different character. Granted, I would expect some change in the character's thoughts from the beginning to the end to parallel what happened in the story, but not so abrupt and out of nowhere.

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Not that she's innocent. The stuff about her not really wanting the divorce reads like a bunch of bullshit. It reads like she wanted to move away with the boys all along but it using "Oh, it was my father's fault and I really didn't want to do it" as a way of absolving herself of any responsibility for it.

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As several have stated, the ONLY sympathetic characters are the boys. Frankly, the two of them deserve each other and should be together so others wouldn't have to deal with them. The only problem with that is it sentences the boys to having to live with these two assholes.