Melissa Rauch Does Porn Remake

Melissa came into my office for our scheduled meeting. I've been Melissa Rauch's agent for years. We know just about everything about each other. Or so I thought. Melissa's a cutie, that's for sure. I'd even go so far as to say she's beautiful. Her 36-27-35 curves are accentuated by her tiny five-foot frame, making her look even more curvaceous than she already is. Not to mention, the tight clingy clothing she wears along with the occasional push up bra. And she's a good person with a heart of gold.

Her #1 TV series that shot her into super stardom ended a year ago. She took the year off to spend time with her family, recharge, and read scripts. That's why she was here in my office today. She was ready to get back into the dog-eat-dog world of Hollywood. She looked good today. Everything she wore was either very tight fitting or too loose fitting due to her size. If it wasn't custom tailored, it was one or the other. Today she was wearing a button down plaid shirt who's first button dove well into her ample cleavage. Her blue jean pants were also tight with strategically torn holes, leading down to a pair of casual high heels.

"Mark, the scripts you're sending me are all the same thing. Cutie pie, good girl TV parts. I need to expand my horizons. I want to break that mold. I want to shock the world. I want to be on the big screen." It was always weird to me to hear her speak in her normal, pleasant voice, and not the squeak of Bernadette.

I leaned back in my chair. "Those are the scripts they're sending me, Melissa. I've asked for challenging, adult roles, but that's what they keep sending me. You've played that character successfully so many years, they can't see you doing anything else. Short of blackmail, bribery, or writing your own project, I don't know what you want me to do."

She smiled. "That's why I'm here, Mark. I've thought a lot about this. I want to write and produce my own project. I want full control."

It's not the first time I'd had an actor or actress client tell me they were going to write and produce their own vehicle. It usually ended badly. "Melissa, you've been doing this long enough to know that's such a long shot."

"Yeah, I know. But this is different. Recycled stuff is all the rage these days, mainly because writers in this town are incapable of having an original thought and the studios want something safe," she hissed. "But I digress. I've got an idea for a remake that'll turn this town on its head."

I was intrigued. "Okay, let's hear it."

Her eyes twinkled. "I want to do a remake of 'Deep Throat'."

I sat straight up in my chair. I couldn't believe my ears. Sweet, innocent Bernadette wanted to do a stag film? Did hear that correctly? "You...you...you want to make a porn movie?!"

"Well, no, not exactly. I mean, no theatre would show it. We'd have to keep it to an 'R' rating."

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that? It's probably the most famous porn movie ever made. How do you plan on making that an 'R'? I mean the only way the woman could...you know...was to give a..." I was uncomfortable speaking in that kind of vernacular in front of the sweet, little innocent girl I knew five minutes ago.

"Yeah, I know, she could only cum if she was giving a guy a blowjob. More specifically, deep throating him." The words coming out of her mouth were like sledgehammers to my senses. She saw the shock on my face. She smiled. "See? I've been practicing my dirty words. Of course, we'd have to rewrite it. The writing and acting were terrible in the original!"

I was still trying to wrap my head around her proposal. "What about the sex? You can't remake what was a XXX film at the time without sex."

"Come on, Mark, you know as well as I do that you see a lot of that stuff in an 'R' rated movie these days." She was right. "It's just not as graphic. With lighting and angles, we could hide the fact that I'm giving a blowjob."

That was true, also. "But you wouldn't actually be giving a blowjob, right?"

"Oh, absolutely I would be!" My eyebrows about flew off my head. "I want it to be as real as possible. And I thought I'd put my own twist on it. In the original, she had to give blowjobs because it turns out her clit was in her throat. That was the only way she could cum. What if my character in the remake has a clit in her throat and in her ass? And she can only cum is if she's giving head while getting fucked in the ass at the same time?" Again, the words were like punches to the gut. "I think I'm using those words and phrases correctly, right?"

"Uh, yeah, you're, uh, good." I was trying to collect my thoughts. "And you want to star in this? And you want to actually be giving a blowjob and getting, uh, fucked in the, uh, ass at the time? Not just simulated?"

"Absolutely! It has to be real!" She paused. "Just think of it! This could be huge! If this is a smash like I think it will be, we could do remakes of all the classics! 'Behind the Green Door', 'Debbie Does Dallas', all of them! We could corner the market! Who wouldn't want to see sweet little Bernadette getting her brains fucked out?!"

"So, huh, have you talked to Winston about this? What does he think?"

Winston and Melissa had been married for several years. He was a writer. He also had no backbone. She looked at me through slit eyes. "Winston thinks what I tell him to think." She paused. "I've even been practicing with him. I've been letting him fuck me in the ass and trying to deep throat him every night. But he's not much of a practice partner, if you know what I mean." She frowned and held up her pinky.

"Well...you want it to be real. The only way the original character could, uh, cum was if she was deep throating a huge, um, uh, penis. You want it to be real. Can you, uh, cum without, you know, vaginal stimulation?" Am I seriously considering backing this?!

She frowned again. "You'd be surprised how easily I can cum." She held up her pinky again.

"Well...if that's true, you'd be, you know, performing with much larger, uh..."

"Cocks? Yes, I'm aware of that. That's the real question. I've never tried to do it with anything like this with anything larger than Winston. I mean, I've given lots of blowjobs. I've only had anal a couple of times. But I've never deep throated or been around a, you know, like, a porn cock." My mind was envisioning sweet little Bernadette getting stuffed from both ends. I could feel a bulge growing in my pants.

My mind was racing. "Well, if you're serious, you can try me." I couldn't believe those words just came out of my mouth. I could see she was a little shocked at the suggestion, too.

"Um, yeah, okay, sure. You have to be bigger than Winston!" Actually, if what she was saying was true, I was going to be a lot bigger than Winston. A few years ago, during an orgy up in the Hills, a producer took one look at me and offered me a part in a porno right there on the spot. I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty fucking proud of my package. "So, how do we start?"

"Well, uh, I guess you can come around here and, uh, you know, give me a blowjob. See if you can deep throat me."

I unzipped and opened my pants while she walked around my desk. When she rounded the corner, her jaw hit the floor.

"Holy schnikies! You're...you're...Mark, you're huge!"

I was sitting there in my leather chair with a wide smile on face while I stroked my stiff 9" pants python. I waved it at her. "You wanted a porn cock. Here you go. And no more 'schnikies'. If you're going to do this, might as well do it right."

"Right! Right. Uh, um, okay, uh, holy shit, Mark! Your cock is fucking huge!" She looked at me. "Better?"

"Much better. I think that's a much better fit for what you're going for. If you're going to do this, better get started. I've got another appointment shortly. Unless you don't want to."

"No no! Let's do this." She dropped to her knees in front of me. She stared at the beast before her for a moment. She hesitantly reached up and wrapped her warm, soft hand around the veiny shaft. Her tiny hand made it appear even larger than it already was. She unconsciously licked her lips, then looked up at me while she softly and slowly stroked me. "Mark, I've been around a lot of...cocks. But, my God! I think this is the biggest one I've ever seen!"

I smiled a crooked smile. "I guess we'll put your deep throating skills to the test then, huh? If you go through with this, and you really want it to be real, who knows who you'll be blowing? I mean, you're remaking a film with a ton of sex in it. You'll probably be sucking cocks of all shapes and sizes."

She nodded her head. "That's true." She paused. "Well, here it goes." She raised herself up and opened her mouth. I felt her hot breath rush across the tip.

"Hang on a second," I said. "That's it? No pretext? You're just going to dive straight in?" She had a confused look. "I mean, you're making love to my cock, right? I mean, you're literally making love to it. Your clit is in your throat. Is that how you want it? Do you want me to just stab your pussy with my cock? I mean, that's great. But you want this to be erotic, don't you? You don't want this to be a movie just about the sex, do you? You want some build up. Some anticipation."

"Right right! You're right! Okay, I've got it."

Like the professional actress she is, she changed into the perceived role. Her whole body language changed. She looked up at me from her knees with fuck me eyes. She slowly unbuttoned her shirt while I stroked myself. It was torture. She finally peeled off the shirt and revealed a lacy white bra. Her dark pink areolas were plainly visible through the thin material. They encircled her gumdrop sized nipples that were hard and trying to poke holes in the bra. She reached behind her back and unclasped the boulder holder. The straps slowly fell down her arms. Like a burlesque dancer, she covered one breast and let the bra fall away, then covered the other breast while the other strap slipped off. She was left covering herself when the bra fell to the ground. She smiled at me while she slowly slipped her hands underneath each breast and cupped them. She pinched her erect nipples. Her tits were magnificent! Full and round and tantalizing.

She once again gripped and lifted herself over my throbbing member. This time, she pointed it skyward and dove in under it. I moaned loudly when her tongue landed on the shaft just above my balls and ran all the way up the underside to the tip. She rolled her tongue around the swollen head, then repeated the lick. Then, finally, without a word, she took me in.

"Oh fuck!" I moaned when I smacked against the back of her mouth the first time.

To her credit, she'd taken almost six inches of my rod on the first dive. I could feel her pushing her own head down until she gagged, trying to force me down her throat. I put both hands on the back of her head to hold her steady.

I watched her head bob. "Ha ha! You can't do it, can you? You want to make a movie about deep throating, but you can't do it. Ha ha!" I said, mocking her, egging her on. Then, suddenly, my head flew back into my chair. "Oh fuck! Ohhhhh fuck!"

Her face was in my lap. Only a handful of women had been able to take my full length in. Most of those were pros. Now this tiny little woman had accomplished it. She squealed when I reached under her and tweaked an excited nipple. She moaned when I palmed a firm, fleshy globe and roughly massaged it. Her face was landing in my lap with every dive. She quickly grew comfortable enough to even hold it there for a count of five before she came back up.

I was close to blowing my load just at the thought of the whole thing. The image of her making this movie, sucking multiple cocks while taking others up the ass, had me ready to launch. Her moans and slurps and dives into my crotch didn't take long to finish the job.

My hips began to thrust into her face while I held her head in place. "Yeah, that's it! Oh yeah! You wanna play the part of a slut? Huh? Then you can take my load down your throat like a slut!"

"Mmmmmhmmm! Mmmmmhmmmm!" she moaned.

My thrusts became more aggressive. My grip on her head grew tighter. "Oh fuck! Oh fuck yeah! Oh fuck! Here it comes! Here it comes! Oh yeah! Oh fuck! Oh ggggaaaaahhhhhh!"

My cock throbbed in her throat. Each pulse sent another stream of spunk down her gullet. She swallowed and gulped as hard and fast as she could. But she couldn't keep up. Bubbles of cum and saliva popped out from the corners of her mouth.

When the throbbing in her throat stopped, she finally removed me from her face. She gave my red shaft long hard strokes. "Oooooo, yeah. Ooooo, yeah, baby," she cooed while she watched more cum ooze out the tip. She leaned in and sucked each new spurt off the tip until it ceased. She finally sat back on her haunches. She sucked her fingers clean, then swiped them across her shiny chin and tucked the runaway cum between her lips. Her face had a very satisfied look on it. "Mmmmmm, how was that?" she purred with a sideways glance.

"That was fuckin' awesome," I said sincerely. "If you can do that to me, you can definitely fulfill the part. Question is, did you cum? Your clit is supposed to be in your throat. You should've had one helluva orgasm after that."

She banged her fists on her thighs. "Oh crap!" she said, aggravated with herself. "I was concentrating so hard on taking that...that...that huge fucking cock of yours down my throat, I didn't even think about it."

I laughed. "Ha! That's okay. You can work on that." There was an awkward pause. I nodded to the corner of my office. "Why don't you go use my bathroom and freshen up? Then we can talk about this thing in greater detail."

She grabbed her clothes off the floor and jumped to her feet. "Okay! Great!" Goddamn! She looks good coming and going! I thought to myself with a smile as she ran across the room.

After she got cleaned up and dressed, we talked more about the project. Financing, locations, co-stars, writers. We lost track of time.

My intercom buzzed. "Mr. Allen, Mr. Atkins is here."

"Oh shit!" I said. "I totally lost track of time. Tell him I'll come get him in a second."

"Oh shoot! I've mucked up your schedule. I'll get out of your hair. We can talk about this more later," Bernadette said apologetically.

A thought occurred to me. Hmmmmmm. Let's see how serious she is about this. "Hang on a sec," I said, motioning her to sit back down. "I'm about to talk with a new actor. Well, wanna be actor. He's looking for an agent. Seems to be smart and talented. Definitely good looking. He might fit the bill for one of the leading men in this project."

She furrowed her brow. "I thought we were going to get a couple of big names? Like Cruise or Pitt? I mean, I think any of the big names would want to, you know, have sex with me."

"You mean fuck you? C'mon now, if you're serious about this, you can't be embarrassed to use the proper vernacular."

"Oh! Yeah yeah! Okay, right. Uh, any of the big names would want to...fuck me."

"Why don't you stick around and meet Steve. Who knows? You guys might hit it off. And if you're truly going to do a modern remake, Linda Lovelace had a shit ton of sex in that movie with several different guys."

Melissa agreed, so I went and grabbed Steve. He was stunned to find her in my office. They shook hands when I introduced them.

"Oh wow! It's a real pleasure to meet you, Miss Rauch! Big fan! Big fan! You're even more beautiful in person than you are on TV," he said excitedly. He towered over her. But then, everybody does. I couldn't tell if he was glancing down the cleavage in her shirt or not, but who would blame him if he was? Steve was right around six feet tall with broad shoulders, brown hair swept to the side, and clear hazel eyes. I was envisioning possible co-stars. Hmmmmm, Cruise is short. Pitt is about six feet, same as Steve. Hmmmmm. He was dressed neatly but relaxed in a freshly ironed white dress shirt and faded but classy jeans. Every bit of clothing showed off his toned body.

Melissa looked up at his tan, square jaw. She was a little put off by his being star struck, but also took it as the compliment it was intended as. She was obviously smitten with his good looks already.

"Hi, Steve. Thank you! That's so nice of you to say. Please, call me Melissa."

"C'mon in, Steve, and have a seat. As long as she was here already, I wanted Melissa to meet you, get her thoughts on you, ya know? Never hurts to get a second opinion, right?"

We proceeded to talk about his background, his experience, and what type of work he was hoping to do. He was a very pleasant young man with a friendly, Midwestern feel about him. He seemed like he would be easy to work with, not one of these prima donna actors who has to have only green M&Ms in their private trailer.

I leaned back in my chair. "So, Steve, what I'm about say is strictly confidential. It stays in this office. If I hear a peep about it on the street, I'll sue your ass from here to kingdom come. We clear?" He nodded his head nervously. "Melissa's talking about doing a series of remakes. I think you might be a good fit for it."

Melissa was shocked I brought it up. "Wait! Are we going to talk about this right now? I mean, he's not even your client yet."

I waved a dismissive hand at her. "It can't hurt to get another opinion can it?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I s'pose." She sat back and watched for Steve's reaction with much interest.

"Steve, are you familiar with the movie 'Deep Throat'?"

He looked confused. "Well, uh, I've heard of it. I wouldn't say I'm 'familiar' with it. Isn't that, like, a really old porn movie?"

I nodded my head. "Right, right. It's credited with bringing porn into the mainstream. The premise of the movie was the star, Linda Lovelace, was born with a birth defect. Her clit was in her throat. The only way she could have an orgasm was if she deep throated some lucky bastard." Melissa and I laughed at the comment. Steve nervously chuckled. I could tell he was a little shocked at how comfortable we were talking about a porn flick and orgasm. "Well, Melissa wants to do a remake of it." We waited for Steve's reaction.

He thought about it for a second. "Wait. You want to do a porn movie?"

I shook my head. "Not a porn movie per se. You can get away with a lot more these days than you could then. And with lighting, angles, special effects, etc., we think we can get away with it and still get an 'R' rating. But Melissa wants to put a twist on it."

Melissa jumped in. "Yeah! Instead of just having the clit in her throat, have one in her butt, too. So, you know, she has to have, you know, anal sex and deep throat somebody in order to have an orgasm." Steve batted his eyes at the words.

"C'mon, Melissa, get into character," I said.

"Oh! Right." She cleared her throat. "The character -- me -- will have her clit in her throat and her ass. So the only way she can...cum...is if she's getting, um, fucked in the ass while she's deep throating. And, to make it more believable, I'd actually be getting fucked in the ass while sucking on a guy's cock. No stunt girl or special effects." Steve was dumb struck at the words. "So, what do you think? Be honest," she asked.

Steve fought to gather his thoughts. "Uh, well, uh, it's, um, different, that's for sure. It's unique." He thought about it more. "I guess, if you pulled it off, it could really be something. It would either be a big hit or a fail of epic proportions."

"We're betting on something big," I said confidently. "I think we could get some of the big names in it. Cruise, Pitt, you know, guys like that. But we also think introducing a fresh face would be interesting. What do you think? Using yourself as an example, do you think someone like you would be interested in a project like that?"