Melissa Rauch Does Porn Remake Ch. 02

Melissa Rauch came to me, as her agent, about a year ago with an idea for a film. Possibly a series of films. She wanted to remake some of the old classic porn films and update them. The thinking was you can get away with a lot more today than you could back then and still get an "R" rating. She thought with today's technology and discreet camera angles and lighting, we could get away with it. There were a couple of catches. For one, she wanted to star in the film(s). Secondly, she wanted to actually perform all of the sex acts. No "stunt" doubles or faking it. She wanted to actually perform all of the sex acts so it looked real.

At first, hearing my sweet little "Bernadette" talk about taking a huge cock up the ass, I was shocked to say the least. But the more we talked about it, the more sense it made. The more excited I got about the project. After we did a "test run" of a possible scene for the movie in my office, we decided to move forward with it.

Melissa and I worked day and night rewriting the screenplay for Deep Throat. While we were writing it, we decided to give Melissa's character very similar traits to Bernadette. We even made the character's name Bernadette. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't want to see Bernadette get fucked senseless? Once we were happy with the script, I pitched it to every studio in town. No one would touch it. We were crushed. But that didn't stop us. Melissa and I decided we would fund the film ourselves. Between her earnings from her hit TV series and my commissions, we could self-fund it. It wouldn't be a big budget, but there were no plans for expensive special effects or anything like that.

Through our contacts, we hired a small crew and moved forward. We had some actors and actresses in mind for characters, but put the word out for a general casting call. We didn't have to. When word got out in Hollywood about the project, my phone began ringing off the hook with actors wanting to be a part of the project. Not just any actors. The big guns. I explained to them that we couldn't possibly afford them given our budget. To a man, and in some cases woman, they agreed to work for union scale ($500 per day) and a miniscule percentage of profits on the back end - so long as their character got to fuck Melissa. Melissa went back and added parts to the script just so we could get these big names in. She was gonna get fucked a lot!

The day finally arrived when we'd begin filming. The movie opens following a car through the slow, winding curves of the California mountains. The moonlight bounced off the rain slickened pavement. The silhouettes of two bodies cuddled close together could be seen through the back window of the car. It was Melissa and Tom Cruise, the actor we chose to be her husband. His short stature matched up well with Melissa's. What the camera didn't see was Melissa jerking Tom off in the front seat while they drove. It wasn't in the script, she just thought it added the appropriate tone for the next scene. Tom agreed whole heartedly.

The car finally turned into the driveway of a quaint white cottage. The couple stepped out of the car into the cool night air and ran into the house. We still haven't seen the faces of our couple. The camera slowly moves around the outside of the house while the couple moves through it. At each window, we see the couple embracing, kissing, and peeling the clothes off the other. Finally, on the opposite side of the house, the camera stops in front of an open window. The lacy white curtain gently waves in the cool ocean breeze. We see the naked couple fall into bed. Quickly, they're under the covers and Tom is on top of Melissa. We still haven't seen their faces. A smooth jazz fills the sound track.

"Ooooo yeah, Tom, give me that big fucking cock of yours! Oh yeah!" Melissa squeaked in Bernadette's voice.

"Jesus Christ, Bernadette! Your pussy is so tight! Holy shit!"

"Mmmmm yeah, fuck my tight little pussy with your big fucking cock!" Truth be told, he had a completely average rod. But she didn't want to be the one to tell him that.

In the bedroom we have several cameras going. The original, one on the other side of the bed, one on top, one at the foot of the bed, and a mini mounted in the head board for close ups. The sheets raise and lower with each thrust of Tom's hips. Melissa moans with each squeeze of her fabulous, firm breasts from Tom. She squeals when he takes a gumdrop-size nipple into his mouth and nibbles it.

It takes everything in her power not to cum. Remember, in the original Deep Throat, the main characters clit turned out to be buried in her throat. Melissa has intentionally written this remake so that her character has a double clit, one in her throat and one in her ass. Her character can't reach orgasm by just fucking. It became a sort of contest on the set that Melissa was unaware of to see if anyone could make her cum while the cameras rolled.

Tom didn't have the same restraints. The director off camera whispered, "Okay, Tom, anytime you're ready."

"Come on, baby, give me that big, fat load! Oooo yeah, c'mon, Tom, give it to me!"

Tom's hips began to buck. The camera bounced back and forth, getting close ups of his contorting face and his bucking hips beginning to stutter.

"Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh fuck yeah! You ready? You ready, huh? You want me to cum? Huh?"

"Oooo yeah, baby! Give it to me! Give it to me now!" Melissa could feel heat rising up through her thighs. Come on, Tom hurry up! I can't take much more of this! Cody Bellinger, right field, batted .305, he's fucking hot! No! Stop it! Justin Turner...

"Oh God! Oh God! Oh ggggaaaaahhhhhhh!"

Melissa felt his hot cum shoot into her. Each throb of his muscle filled her up even more. She begged for more while he emptied himself into her.

Tom finally fell off of her and onto his back. Just in time, too. Melissa was about to break character and cum. He reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. It's the first time we're seeing their faces.

"Damn, Bernadette! I'll never get tired of that!" Tom panted.

"Mmmmmm, me neither," she purred. She hasn't pulled up the sheet. We're getting our first look of her firm 36 inch bust.

"Yeah, about that. You didn't cum again, did you?"

"What?! Wha-wha-wha, why would you say that?!"

"Because I haven't been able to make you cum since we got married. Is it me? It's me, isn't it? You need a bigger dick, don't you?"

She rolled over and rubbed his chest. "No! No, that's not it at all! I love your dick! It...it...it's me. There's something wrong with me. It...it...I've always had trouble reaching orgasm. It's only happened a couple of times. I want to. I want you make me cum. I...I should see somebody. Maybe there's a specialist out there that can help me."

"So, it's not just me? You've always had this trouble?" She nodded. "So...who...who, uh, who made you cum?"

"Oh gosh! Well, let's see. Ummm, it wasn't, you know just one person," she said embarrassed. "The only time I've ever come was when, um, I was, uh, well, you know...when I was having sex with two guys. At the same time."

"You mean when you were getting double penetrated?!"

"Well, yeah, I guess. And...gee...um, it wasn't just any DP. The only time I've ever cum is when I had one in my butt and one in my throat."

"No shit?! Holy shit!"

"Yeah, I know. You think I'm a slut now, don't you?"

Tom shook his head and pulled her close. "No. I think you're making it up to make me feel better. I think it's me. I don't think I'm big enough."

"No! It's the truth! I love your cock!" She paused. She raised her head and gave him a crooked smile. "Here, let me show you." Her head ducked under the sheet, out of view of the camera.

Tom's head leaned back and his eyes closed. "Fuck!" he gasped. Cool jazz began to play on the soundtrack.

Melissa lifted his half-mast cock and took it into her mouth. She sucked on it hard and rolled her tongue around the head. She bobbed her head twice then pulled him out.

"I love the taste of myself on a man's cock," she said from under the sheet.

"Goddamn, Bernadette, you know how to suck dick!"

She took him back into her mouth. Tom lifted the sheet so he could watch. We stopped rolling and placed a dim light under the sheet. It created an eerie shadow of a round orb moving up and down on what looked like a short, round post. His hand went to the back of her head and lightly grabbed it.

When she announced he was ready, we stopped the cameras and removed the light from under the sheet. The director called "action!" Melissa slowly peeled back the sheet until both actors were completely naked. The camera was placed in a back-left position so her nakedness wasn't so blatantly "in your face" and her body hid Tom's new hard on. She rose up and daintily straddled him. With the sheets strategically clumped, and the right camera angle, you didn't see the actors goodies. Melissa held Tom steady and lowered herself. Her heart raced. She lightly gasped and bit her bottom lip when his swollen head touched her puffy pink lips.

"Fuuuuuuck!" Tom moaned as she slid down his pole.

"Oh! Oh gawwwwd!" Melissa groaned until she landed in his lap.

She paused for a moment before she leaned forward slightly and began to rise and lower her hips. The camera watched Tom grabbed two handfuls of flesh. She squeaked when he lifted his head and took an excited nipple between his lips.

The camera slowly slid around the bed behind the couple and backed out of the same window through which it came. It stayed focused on them as it rose to the sky and eventually swung around to the moonlit sky.

The director called "cut!"

Without missing a beat, Melissa barked, "Fuck off!" Her hips began to raise and lower faster and harder. She looked into Tom's face. "C'mon, Tom, give it to me! Fuck my tight little pussy! C'mon, do it!"

The director leaned into the cameraman and whispered, "Keep the camera rolling."

Tom grabbed her hips and began to meet her thrusts with his own. "Oh yeah, I'll fuck that tight little pussy! I'll fuckin' ruin you for every other man!"

She could feel the heat racing up her thighs again. "Oh yeah! Oh God! Oh God! Ohmagawd! That's it! Right there! Mmmmmmm, oh God! Oh mother Mary and Joseph! Oh! Oh! Aaaaaahhhhhh!"

It felt like a California earthquake was rumbling through her tiny body. She closed her eyes and growled through clenched teeth while she enjoyed the feeling.

Her muscles clamping down around his own muscle was all Tom needed. "Oh shit! Oh shit! Cumming! Cumming! Gggggaaaaaaa!"

Melissa felt his tool throb inside her own spasming slit. Having shot his load not long ago, the warm stream of his spunk wasn't there, but the throbbing of his muscle only elongated her own orgasm.

Once they both finished, Melissa fell onto Tom. Her mounds crushed against his chest. Her head fell next to his.

"Fuck me," Tom panted.

"Mmmmmm, that was fun," Melissa purred in her normal voice.

*****

The next scene cuts to Tom at work. Tom has a small group of male co-workers gathered around him. As is usually the case when a bunch of guys get together, the subject turns to women.

"Man, have you seen Katherine today?!" Eric asks the group. "I'd fuck that bitch so hard she wouldn't know what day it was!"

Barry chimed in. "She needs a good fucking. That bitch is so full of herself! She needs a good ass fuck."

"My wife loves it when I fuck her in the ass," Roger volunteered. "She begs for it! Then she wants me to cum in her mouth. Ass to mouth is the best!"

Eric laughed. "Goddamn! Bitch is a freak! You lucky bastard!" The rest of the men laughed with him.

When the laughter dies down, Tom asked, "Really? Jen takes it in the ass? And likes it?"

"Fuck yeah she does!" Roger assured him.

"How about, you know, dp? Have you ever fucked her with another guy?"

Roger shook his head. "I've asked her about it, but she won't go for it."

"I dated a girl once who loved doing that shit," Eric said. "I had mixed feelings. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved the fact that she loved to fuck. Couldn't get enough of it! But it was weird watching another dude fuck my girl while I was doing it, too. I'd do it again, though. Shit, just thinking about it gives me a hard on." The guys laughed again.

Tom shrugged his shoulders. "Bernadette says that's the only way she's ever cum, with somebody fucking her in the ass while she's blowing another guy." Everyone was stunned at this revelation.

"No shit?!" Barry asked. "Need some help with that?"

While they laughed at the question, Roger said, "That's only because you've got a tiny cock!"

The men roared while Tom stared back at them. "Fuuuuuck you."

*****

We cut to Melissa in a tiny bikini lying on her back sunning herself. The camera pulls back to reveal she's at a friend's house lying on the deck next to the pool. A blonde cuts through the water while her friend lays next to her.

The friend is wearing an equally tiny bikini. She's a stunning brunette with rockin' curves. When we get a better look, we see it's Jennifer Love Hewitt.

"I don't know what to do, Jennifer. I've never had an orgasm when Tom and I are having sex. I've told him I've never had one when I'm having sex with one man. I don't think he believes me. He thinks it's him."

"Well, is it?" Jennifer asked.

"No! It's true! I've never cum with just one man fucking me!"

"You've never cum?! You've never had an orgasm?!"

"No, I didn't say that," Melissa said with embarrassment. "I...I...I've had orgasms. But only when two men are fucking me. And not just, you know, fucking me. One has to be in my ass while I'm giving the other one a blow job."

Jennifer's character couldn't believe she was hearing this from the friend she thought was so innocent. "What?! Are you fucking kidding me?!" Melissa shook her head. Jennifer sat up and gave Melissa a crooked smile. "Have you ever been with a woman?"

"What?! No! Never!" She jumped when Jennifer ran her hand up her thigh.

"Would you like to be? Just try it?"

"What?! Are...are...are you gay?!"

Jennifer laughed. Her hand reached the "V" of Melissa's body. "Ha ha! No, not exactly. I like both. I like the feeling of a man's cock inside me. But I like the feeling of a woman's touch, too."

Melissa tensed when Jennifer's hand slipped inside her bikini bottom. Melissa parted her legs without even thinking about it. She gasped when Jennifer flicked her raised kernel. "I...I...I never knew."

Jennifer leaned over Melissa and smiled. "Apparently, there are a lot of things you don't know." She leaned down and planted her soft lips onto to Melissa's. Her tongue danced inside of Melissa's hot mouth. It didn't take long for Melissa to return the kiss.

Jennifer's hand was quickly under Melissa's bikini top. She squealed into Jennifer's mouth at the first twist of her nipple. Melissa mimicked Jennifer, pulling back Jennifer's top and massaging a fleshy globe, bringing a moan from her. Melissa was surprised at how different Jennifer's breast felt from her own. Jennifer broke off the kiss. In a microsecond, she had Melissa's rock hard nipple in her mouth. Melissa was startled again when Jennifer covertly had her hand inside Melissa's bottom swatting at her bean.

Melissa was enjoying the touch of her first woman companion when Jennifer slipped down her body and situated herself between Melissa's legs. From her angle, Melissa could only see the bridge of Jennifer's slim nose and her smiling eyes while she watched her bikini bottoms slide off. The camera watched from behind and just above Jennifer, giving us a clear view of Melissa's fabulous tits and wide open eyes. Jennifer was staring at clean shaven cunt and glistening lips. A thin strip of blonde hair was directly above Melissa's sweet spot. The air left Melissa's body for a brief moment at the first lick of a female tongue she had ever experienced.

Jennifer expertly went to work. The camera watched from high above, unable to see Jennifer's rough tongue slide in and out of Melissa's gash and slap at her excited clit. Melissa began to grope and pinch her own breasts and nipples as she writhed on the ground.

A familiar voice came from off camera. "Hey! What the fuck?! You bitches started the party without me, goddammit?!" A beautiful, long legged blonde body appeared in the shot. It was Melissa's friend Kaley Cuoco. She was dressed in a peach colored bikini that showed off her tan curves. Her long blonde hair was wet from her swim and matted to her body.

In a flash, she was naked and hovering over Melissa's face. "Her ya go, sweetie. Let's see how you do with this!" Melissa's face was quickly covered by a cunt for the first time. Instinctively, she knew what to do. Kaley jumped at the first flip of Melissa's tongue. "Oh shit! Oh hell yeah!" She quickly began to grind on Melissa's face. "Oh yeah! That's it! Fuck yeah, right there!"

A soft, bluesy tone played on the soundtrack. A second camera looking across the three bodies caught a glimpse of a face behind a tree on the other side of the brick wall. As it zoomed in, it came into focus on Chris Pratt's face mesmerized at what he was seeing. The camera pulled back, only seeing Chris from mid-chest up. By design, without an overtly pornographic camera shot, it was quite clear from Chris's body movements that he was jerking off behind the wall. By placing a camera over his shoulder, we got a view of what he was seeing. Three beautiful bodies moaning and twisting in ecstasy.

It wasn't long before that camera angle was blocked out by Chris' body leaping over the fence. Several different camera angles showed him approaching the women. Jennifer jumped and pulled her face out of Melissa's crotch when he grabbed her hips and pulled her up. Without a word, Jennifer simply smiled, lifted her ass up onto her knees, and dove back into Melissa's slit.

Chris untied Jennifer's green bikini bottom and threw it to the side. He slid between her legs. Turns out Chris could have gone into porn movies instead of chasing prehistoric animals and flying through galaxies. He held his long, thick prong and touched it to Jennifer's puffy lips. She gave a loud groan when he sliced through her velvety folds.

"Oh fuuuuuuck, Jennifer! Goddamn, that feels good!" He grabbed her hips and began to pump her gash full of man meat. Each thrust of his hips scraped Jennifer's tongue across Melissa's quivering button.

Kaley turned her head and said to Chris with a smile, "Hey, save some of that beef stick for me, cowboy."

Chris smiled back. "Oh, I'll ride your ass, that's for damn sure!"

"Yeeee haaawwww!" Kaley squealed.

That fucking director needs to holler "cut" soon or I'm gonna cum! Fuck! Melissa thought to herself. One-and-a-quarter cups of flour. 1 teaspoon of ba-a-a-aking soda. Fuck! Two large eggs... She started running the recipe for banana bread through her head to take her mind off of Jennifer's tongue.

After a few minutes, the director yelled, "Okay, guys, any time!"

"Thank God! Fuck!" Chris shouted back. "Fuck, Jennifer! Goddamn! I'm gonna...I'm gonna...fuck! I'm gonna fill this shit up!"

Jennifer briefly pulled her head out of Melissa's snatch. "Not yet! Not yet, goddammit! Ohmagawd, not yet! Fuck me, you bastard! Fuck me hard, goddammit!"

Chris dug his fingers into her hips. "Grrrrrrrrrr!" he growled as he started to pound her pussy like never before.

Kaley rocked on Melissa's face. "C'mon, you bitch! Lick that pussy! Of fuck, lick that pussy!"

Half cup of unsalted butter, one cup of sugar...

"Mmmmmhmmmm! Mmmmmhmmmm! Mmmmmhmmmmmgggggggfffffff!" Chris felt Jennifer's sweet pussy explode around him. Her muscles squeezed his own large muscle.