Memoires of a Dom

This is what I do, or at least. What I like doing best. I have another Job, you know. I do this on the side. It's not like this can sustain me, at least not financially.

Physically and mentally however, I need this part of my life. I need to be dominant. But I dislike people knowing that about me. Not only that, but I never quite felt part of the whole bdsm scene.

Not for a lack of trying, if you must know. I just felt like everyone at some point just devolved more and more into their particular kink. They needed more and more to sustain themselves.

Whereas my kink was the same, always the same. I just love newbies. There's something about people who are new to their kink, new to their exploration. You can see them being both uncomfortably awkward and at the same time they want nothing more than the full experience.

My next client is a woman called Trish. She planned the appointment a little over a month in advance, which is uncommon but not all that surprising.

I've met a few others who did that because they had to arrange either the travel or for the physical marks to heal before returning home. Some are just waiting for the perfect excuse to get away unnoticed by the partner.

Keep in mind that It's not easy to admit to your friends or even family you like to get tied up for sexual gratification. Relationships have broken for less.

Whatever Trish's reason, I don't pry into those particulars, it's part of the reason I get paid for my role. I don't judge. I personally also keep every part of me anonymous and it's only natural that my clients want the same.

I don't want to know the background of each of my clients, if they're in a relationship or not. Let alone where they were born or what education they had. You'll never know when you touch upon a delicate subject and before you know it all they want is to talk.

I do however need to know what my client prefers and what her limits are. The small survey that I asked her to fill in as part of the scheduling process indicates we're pretty much aligned in our kinks. Though I made a mental note to double-check some of the answers that could be a bit more painful than it sounds like on paper.

I get hard wondering what she'll look like. Planning, or more like fantasizing what I could do to her. I hope she has the courage to get here. That's the downside of people new to the scene. They're very unpredictable to actually show up for their appointment.

Trish.

I sit on the couch of my small office like entry room. I take a sip from my sparkling water, while I continue to hope she actually shows up. Even though fifty percent is paid in advance, I'm always bummed when I get a no-show. Like I said earlier, I'm not in it for the money, it's just to have some insurance for the booking.

The small waiting room looks professional, even though its only a piece of plywood separated from my playroom. Still, it could look like an entry to a cheap small business factory or workshop.

For some reason it really helps if people don't immediately step directly into the playroom. Especially, with the first first-timers. I had to learn that the hard way. A few women just turned on their heels and left when they saw my toy collection upon arriving.

I'm just about done reading the news when I hear footsteps at the door, just as the bell rings. I get up and open the front door to see a woman in her mid thirties standing a few strides before me.

"Hi." I say semi casually, "do you have an appointment?" I ask, just to save myself the disappointment. She's hot. High heels, long ringlets of auburn hair, hazel eyes. It looks like she has long legs, but it's difficult to see under her coat that looks a bit too warm for this time of the year.

"Uhm, yes." She answers, while pulling on her sleeves insecurely. "With Luke". My cock twitches in response. Luke is not my real name, I have a different life which I like to keep separated from my kinky one. But to her, I'm Luke.

"Trish?" I ask, while I stick out my hand for her to shake. She takes it while she nods to me with her deep brown eyes averted. "Please come in, you're a bit early but I was waiting for you." She answers something that I don't quite catch, but I somehow have the feeling it was a gibberish remark from the nerves, so I just fake not noticing while I step into my entry room.

She steps inside as well and looks around to my humble abode. She looks at my plant, the coat rack, the small fake leather couch, the wooden stool and the white door to the next room, which is closed at the moment.

"Thank you for coming, Trish. So.. I'm Luke, nice to meet you. Probably, this is not quite what you expected, is it?" I ask because you could read it from her expression. Trish shakes her head in answer.

"Please, you can take your coat off, if you'd like. Would you like something to drink? A sparkling water, or some tea?" She looks at me and I see her level of confidence growing, as my words get through to her. "Yes, I'd like some tea if you have it. Thank you, that's very thoughtful."

I smile kindly while I turn on the water cooker and start preparing her tea while she hangs her coat. "I'd like us to sit here for a moment before we get started." I continue "It's to double check some of the formalities, if that's okay with you?"

I hear an almost inaudible affirmation while I see In the mirror how she carefully dons the coat and hangs it on the empty rack.

She's wearing a skirt as per my instructions. Her black outfit doesn't quite fit her auburn ringlet hair in my opinion, but who am I to give fashion advice? If I had my way, women would only be wearing rope, gags, clamps and plugs. But I digress.

I turn around, purposefully timing my action so that I'm ready before she's done hanging her coat. I don't want her to get more insecure than she already is, by having to stand around waiting.

"Please take a seat on the stool. The tea will take a few moments to get ready." I say to her, while I sit on the sofa. "Was it difficult to find?" I ask. She shakes her head. "No, I parked around the block if that's okay. And it's not paid parking is it? I wasn't sure." Good, she's found her words again.

"Around the corner is fine.'' I say in my warm voice. In the hope it comforts her a bit. "..and it's free for the entire vicinity, or at least for the first forty-eight hours. So that's easy. But good to hear. Is it ok with you if I start the formal bit? I know my site has you agreeing to a lot of stuff, but I just want to make sure we see eye to eye on the most important topics before we can continue.'' She nods her head, apparently glad that I assert the lead.

"Okay". I start off. "You're paying me to do sexual physical acts with you, mostly bondage in nature. This session revolves around you and your kinks. In order to give you a better experience, I need to get to know your sexual appetite and history. Because of that, I will be asking some questions. Outside of those questions, we can be strictly anonymous."

"Please answer my questions truthfully and not what you think I want to hear. Let me know if you don't understand the question. Okay?" She nods to confirm "In most sessions I will make you orgasm. But sometimes I won't. I'll share my reasons, and you'll have to accept it as part of our session's goals" It's the best way I found to tell my clients, no refunds if you don't get to come.

"Also, While you don't have to, I usually would like to have intercourse as part of the scene we're doing. If that is the case, I will always ask your approval before I do so. You can always say no, so please don't feel obliged or that you owe me.

Should you say yes however, I will always wear a condom during intercourse. Then again, I'll only have you blow me without a condom but I will discuss where I will shoot my load if I cum.

If there's anything wrong and you need a break, just say Amber and I'll check in with you to see what you need. If you want me to full stop, just say 'Red'. If you do, I'll cut you down immediately and get you back to safety asap. But if you safeword with 'red', it's over for today. No refunds. But I sincerely hope to avoid that, hence all of the intimate questions. Any questions?"

I wait a moment for the words to sink in. I've been looking at her expressions the entire recital but didn't see any great shocks, with the exception of the small twitch when I mentioned shooting my load somewhere. Was she repulsed or the opposite. We'll just have to find out...

"Just two. And perhaps some follow-ups. First. How do I control what happens today?" I think about the question for a second, as it is a tell-tale signature of someone who's used to being in control in their private life and besides new to the scene, also someone who's quite unknowingly about how this all works. No matter.

"You don't." I answer with a flat face "In moments, I'll be telling you what to do and the only control you have is letting it happen until you can't take it no more. Either that, or safeword to make it stop. You're paying me to take control, and that's what's going to happen. That said, I am limiting your scene to the topics you agreed to. What's your second question?"

She nods as she's taking in the answer, but again no sign of anything from my answer was shocking somehow. "Your site said the first few... visits.." I interrupt her "sessions." To correct the word. She continues as if the word is new on her tongue "..sessions.. are also some sort of interview about my sexual experience so far. It was quite vague around what it entails."

My turn to nod briefly, I can't wait to get started and in fact, we've been talking for too long already. The longer we linger, the bigger the barrier to begin. Especially if somebody's nervous like she is right now.

"Well, like I said, you're paying me to have a good experience. But in order to do that I need to know more about your sexual history. Also I would like to avoid things you know you don't like or even freak you out. Honestly, I could explain in more detail, but I'd rather let you experience the questions yourself. You'll see that I don't mean to pry. So why don't we begin with the first question and we'll take it from there."

I answer while standing up promptly, she nods in answer while doing the same. "Okay. So how long have you been sexually active?" She folds her arms defensively over each other while answering. "Since I was sixteen." I nod while I look at her more closely.

"Okay, and how long have you been interested in bdsm?" I ask while I kneel beside her and start untying her sneakers. She shies back a bit, until she sees what I'm up to. "Well?" I prompt her. "Uhm.. I dunno. Must be some years back. Before COVID for sure." I look up. "Can you elaborate and explain what you were doing upon your discovery?"

She looks at the plant while recollecting. "I was watching porn with my boyfriend at the time and he scrolled past some BDSM stuff and I... I... really wanted to see more of those clips but... I didn't dare tell him. When he eventually clicked on those, I got really horny." She smiles demurely.

"At some point, my boyfriend noticed how much I liked it and how wet it made me and made fun of me the entire time after. I really felt humiliated by it, so we have never watched porn together since then. So yeah, it must have been about 5 years ago. Now that I think about it."

I think about her answers from my place on the floor, whilst removing her first shoe and sock with it. "Thank you for being honest with me and telling me that. And have you been exploring BDSM after that? Either alone or with somebody?" I ask, starting on the other shoe.

She looks down at me. "Not really, I've gone back to the site and others. I just know it turns me on like crazy but somehow I'm always too afraid to go out there and experience it with others. Until now, that is..." I smile warmly while I stand up and look her in the eye. She's a bit smaller with both her shoes off. Just a few centimeters in comparison, I'd say.

"Thank you for your trust Trish. I'm sure it must have been a barrier for you and I hope that I can proof to you that I'm worthy of it." I stand up for a second to gauge her response. But her expression is flat and difficult to determine. So instead I take the moment to openly stare at her cleavage. She looks at me while I do, which makes me smile. "I really look forward to playing with those later." I say in full honesty.

I never lie about things like that, people can tell dishonesty. "But for now I want you to be a bit less relaxed. So can you remove your underwear for me and hang it on the empty part of the coat rack please?" Her eyes go big and I see doubt in her mind.

Clients usually tell me this is the most difficult barrier of the session, the first sexual act and the first degrading at one at that.

Most times, the client expects some touching, kissing or other form of physical affection instead of this cold method. Some even refused to go further from this point, perhaps because of it.

But it's important that the client and sub understands that I set the stage and standards, not her. She can comply or stop, it's the only control she has. "Well?" I ask, as if losing my patience. She starts to undo her skirt. "No! The skirt stays on. Just the knickers." I say without raising my voice.

She looks at me uncomfortably but bends over slightly to reach under her skirt to undo them nonetheless. Her skirt moves up a bit and I get a look at her long legs as a result. She steps out of her panties, which look expensive and most likely were put on specifically to entice me. A plan I know I just threw in the water by asking her to remove it before I saw her in her underwear.

I nod towards the rack to remind her of the second part of her assignment. Clearly reluctant to do so she walks to the rack and hangs her panties on the empty part, like I told her to. When she turns around I gesture to her empty spot next to me to get back within my reach.

"Come stand here and put your hands behind your back. I will tie them later of course but for now I just want to know, have you ever been tied up?" Even though she said she has not had any bondage experience, I still ask because oftentimes some 'playful tying up' is not considered the same as bondage. Who am I to go into semantics with a newby client?

Trish shakes her head "No". "Okay" I answer back. "You haven't even had your hands in some playfull handcuffs?" She shakes her head. "Ok, no worries. We'll take it slow and see if you like it. Please be honest if you don't. Okay?" Lesson number one.

"Whatever you do, please keep your hands behind your back. Got it?" She nods. "When I ask a question, please answer with 'yes sir', or 'no sir'." She blinks. "Yes, sir." I look at how she looks at her bare feet.

"Good girl. Now. Can you tell me a bit more about what kind of bdsm acts you fantasize about, or you mentioned porn, so what kind you like to watch? I want to know what you prefer." I make sure to smile as innocently as I can. But this sets the stage for the rest of the afternoon.

"I... I like to see women being tied and being controlled..." she looks at me questioning. "Being controlled in what way?" I ask. "With a vibrator. And she.. the girl.. can't escape it..." I like where this is going so far.

"Does the woman like it to be tied up? I mean does the woman in the scene generally likes what the dominant is doing to her?" Her face squirms together. "Yes, the girl likes it. I mean. I fantasize that she does like to be in that position. And I assume she did when the actress orgasmed and all." Right, no rape fantasy then. "Got it.." I answer.

"And the tying up. Was it... purely functional or also decorative in some way." I try to pry out of her. "I dunno, most of it was to make sure that the woman was bound, I guess but..." I nod at her silence for her to continue. "But what?" She shakes her head a bit from side to side. "Well, her boobs were bound as well, which looked hot to me. So is that functional"?

I look annoyed at her "Sir. Is that functional, Sir." I twist her nipple right through her clothing and bra beneath. Her body twists away in reaction. In her defense, her arms do stay behind her back. Good self control, that.

"And to answer your question, I would say that that's functional, yes. But it depends on what you saw. Perhaps later today, you can tell me." I look her in the eyes when hers go big, as my words start to sink in. "I would like that, sir." Good to know. The chances of that happening just went up.

"Wit decoration the rope is bound in patterns which is not functional in nature. That's called shibaru." I explain. "But let's assume you're into the getting bound part and figure out the rest later." I continue.

"What else do you watch? It's important to know." I ask her finally. She gets red telling me her porn history. To be honest, I would be too, talking to a total stranger. I know the clips to which she's referring. I've even blown my load on some of them.

"Thank you for sharing. I'm going to tie your hands now, ok?" I frame it as a question on purpose, it being her first time in bondage and all. She nods affirmatively while I go to the table where I never finished making her tea. I take the only bundle of rope that is on this side of the door and walk behind my client of the day.

I use my warm voice again to explain what I'm about to do. "I'm binding your hands together. For now, I will tie them in a way that if you would want to, you can get out of it. Still. You're not supposed to do that. Okay?"

She nods. "That was a question that you again failed to respond to appropriately." I tug on her hair. Enough to be annoying, not enough to hurt. "Sorry sir, yes I understand." I think she likes the hair pulling also. "Good. While I do that, can you tell me what you hope I'll be doing to you today?"

I start by looping the rope around her wrists, while her voice breaks the air. "I Uhm heard that orgasms from bondage are much stronger. Soo I uhm... hope to be tied and get to come." Her voice pitches high at the end, making it more an uncertain question than a statement.

"You make it sound as if you need my approval for your fantasy. It's your fantasy, not mine. So I ask again, please be honest. Is that it? Or is there more?" There's a long silence between us. I can see from the side that she had to find the courage to say it out loud, much less to a person. "I know it's difficult, I honestly want to know so I can help." I say, almost like a whisper.

"I want to be tied while I'm getting fucked, sir." I finish the knot and stand tall, next to her. "Good girl. That's the second time that you were courageous with me today." I see her thinking. "Second time, sir?" I chuckle. "Yes, you came through the door, right?" She smiles at me. Proud of the compliment she just received.

Time for the next step. "Trish. How are you doing, now?" I stand half a meter in front of her and I take her posture in, whilst her hands are secured behind her back. "Good, I guess?" I start reaching toward her other nipple. "Sir! I feel fine sir!". We both laugh. "Oehh so Close.." she has a nice laugh. "Is it ok if I touch you?" She immediately answers. "Yes, sir."

I go and stand behind her and lay my hands on her shoulders. She's wearing some kind of blouse that'll have to come off at some point. More importantly, it should be gone before I truly start tying her up. It's the kind of fragile fabric that might tear from the strain.

One of my hands lower over her breast and rub it gently over her blouse, the other over her belly. As if I'm her lover, that's how gentle I am. My hand goes through her cleavage under her bra and I touch her breast. "Hmm. Nice full breasts." Trish' head falls back a bit while she enjoys my playful massaging for a minute or so.