Memoirs of a 90s Girl Ch. 01: Josh

"Not bad. You share this with your sister?" He surveyed the room and swung our still attached hands distractedly so that our arms bounced lightly against our sides.

"Yeah, that's her bed," I said, pointing behind me with my free hand to the more well-kept side of the room. "And this is me," I pointed our joined hands towards the twin bed with rumpled sheets on the side of the room with clothes strewn on the floor.

The finish on the wooden headboard and footboard was already peeling when we bought the two matching beds from Goodwill. Having grown up sleeping on the floor with a thin mat before coming to the US, this was the first bed that was my own and the first time I had a headboard and a footboard just like in the movies. I loved it. There was no room for any more than the two twin beds and the single shared nightstand where our radio clock sat. Being near him in this tiny bedroom, I suddenly realized how tall Josh was and how much warmth his body radiated. His eyes were more hazel and the gold specks more visible today. They were warmer than usual and crinkled at the corner in a small smile.

"I like it," he whispered. He let go of my hand and then placed both of his on my waist, ducking down to make eye contact through the hair that had fallen away from his ears before giving a soft smile.

"Yeah, thanks." I said as nervousness gripped me. It was time to show my hands and follow through on my accidental bluff. "Ready for a nap?" I asked and tipped my head toward my bed.

"Yeah, sure. Let's nap," he answered and pressed me backwards by the waist towards my own bed, his steady gaze destabilizing my knees. When the back of my calves hit the mattress, I slid out from his hands to sit down. I couldn't look at him anymore, so I busily rearranged my pillow and the stuffed animals I hadn't outgrown. When it became obvious to the both of us that I was stalling, I laid down on my left side to face away from the wall and reached back to pat the now empty space behind me before scooting forward towards the edge of the mattress. I felt Josh's penetrating stare but still couldn't meet his eyes. He was hesitating too. I pretended to nuzzle into my pillow and curled myself into the smallest possible fetal position with my arms clenched tight against my thundering heart.

Josh carefully maneuvered his body and limbs over me and crammed himself into the small space between me and the wall as I held my breath in anticipation of feeling his body next to mine on the bed. I edged forward to create a neutral zone between the heat of him and my back, my bent knees now hanging over the side of the mattress. Once he finally found a way to position all of himself so that he was close to me but not touching, we both let out sighs of relief.

"Good night." The words trembled lightly out of my lips and I felt Josh's hot exhale behind me. The afternoon sun warmed the room and splattered leafy shadows on the bedroom walls along with the occasional bright beams that reflected off of the incoming cars in the parking lot outside. I could feel the heat emanating from Josh's body behind me and found myself unexpectedly not at all tired for my usual after school nap. A weighty silence filled the room, punctuated with the sound of the two of us trying to regulate our breathing with an occasional long exhale. After a few minutes, maybe just seconds, my breath hitched when I felt Josh's tentative fingers nudge my hip.

"Hey, you asleep?" he ask, barely audible.

My only possible reply was to shake my head. I felt the hand on my hip glide forward and up onto my waist then stop.

"It's ok."

With his wide palm, Josh hooked me back by the waist so that I was flushed against his front. I felt him hardening behind me as I leaned back into him and he sighed at the contact.

"Hey," he whispered into my hair. His hand splayed the width of my clothed stomach but the tip of his pinkie burnt the skin peeking through between the hem of my t-shirt and pants from the shuffle. I tried to relax into the engulfing warmth of Josh, despite feeling his cock pulse against me. My heart raced while dampness and heat built below.

"Hi," I sighed in response.

He began to drag his pinkie along and under the waistband of my pants. Eventually, his pinkie made the trip to join the rest of his hand as it fisted my shirt open, scorching my skin in its wake and exposing me from the waist to the edge of my bra band. I was at once relieved and frustrated he had stopped there but wasn't sure what I wanted at that moment.

"Is this ok?" he whispered into the hair at my neck.

I still couldn't get words on my tongue that had grown dry, so I nodded my consent rapidly and placed my hand over his fist to assure him. Josh let go of my shirt and arranged it neatly in a line along the band of my bra to keep my torso partially bare for him. When his lips grazed the back of my neck, my breath was so shallow and fast that I was on the precipice of a moan. I felt light-headed and took a deep breath to try to calm my breathing and pounding heart as Josh's fingertips began to draw soft lines all over my stomach and ribs. The only thing the full inhale did was fill my lungs and mouth of Josh. The faint scent of Tide detergent and smoke mixed with his natural scent and the burning trails he was making on my skin overwhelmed me and a soft moan escaped from my mouth.

Josh pulled me closer and applied enough pressure on my abdomen to grind my body against his hardening cock. His pinkie was fully below my waistband now. When he moaned at the contact, my whole body caught on fire and whatever imagined control I had over the wetness that was steadily building between my thighs was gone. I experimentally moved my ass against his growing length and was rewarded with an open-mouth groan against my neck, so I did it again and again.

"God yes," he mouthed in my hair. Emboldened by my newfound power over Josh's body, I guided the hand that was being used to grind my ass on his covered cock to the button of my jeans. Together we began to undo my pants. His hand trembled downwards, his thumb pausing to hook the waistband of my soaked underwear as the rest of his hand cupped my mound and pulled me impossibly tight against him. I felt him hard and solid behind me as his palm applied pressure against my clit and his fingers push into me through the gusset of my panties. Josh must have felt how wet I was because he groaned a breathy "fuck" into my hair as I moaned and nodded my assent in response.

I sighed his names between the shallow breaths as he rutted against me and I rubbed myself on him. I scrambled for his left arm that had been trapped underneath me. When I found purchase of his wrist, I adjusted my body so that I could push his left hand underneath my shirt and bra onto my needy breasts. I gasped at the cold contact but welcomed the touch. His hands were big enough that he could almost cup both of my small breasts in one palm. He explored the topography of my modest bosom, squeezing, palming, and cupping them until his thumbs and index fingers settled on one of my pebbled nipples. I breathed out his name again when he gave my right nipple a pinch, the only word I could muster as I rubbed myself on his hand with a new determination, climbing towards my own climax.

"Fuck," he grunted and tightened his hold on me so that I wouldn't escape from his arms as we writhed together. His fingers traced along my panties and took exploratory swipes underneath the gusset. An alternating staccato string of "fuck" and "yes" rolled out of his mouth to match my whispered chant of his name as he rubbed up and down my soaked slit. As my orgasm built, I grabbed his left wrist again and pulled his hand upwards to stuff his fingers into my mouth. His arm flexed in surprise under the shirt and bra we never bothered to remove. My other hand joined his to press it down harder against my clit. With the needed pressure on my cunt, I rode his hand, chasing the crest and moaned against the fingers in my mouth.

"Wait wait wait wait wait," he stuttered and his body came to a full stop, holding mine still against it. I whimpered a weak protest and tried to rub myself on his hand again. "Wait wait wait," he repeated, both his voice and grip on my body more firm than before. His fingers slid wetly down from mouth to gently hold me still by the neck. Whatever fear I had of the mood being ruined was proven wrong by the hardness of his length pulsing and pressing behind me. "Wait wait," he said between panting all while increasing the pressure against my neck just so. This time I softened into his arms, no longer fighting to move against him.

"Can I take these off?" he asked, lifting his left arm up against the band of my bra and pulling up from inside my pants with his right hand. I had not come back into myself yet from chasing an orgasm that never came and didn't realize he was asking me a question. "Hey, can I take these off?" he whispered, this time nosing against my neck to get my attention while tugging lightly against my clothes again. I snapped back into my surroundings and back into his arm but still couldn't talk, so I nodded my consent.

Our hands and bodies respositioned in a flurry of movement, desperate to resume our activity as before. I bent at my waist and lifted my hips to pull my pants off to them unceremoniously on the floor and Josh pushed his body back against the wall so he would have room to pull up my tee shirt. I lifted my torso and twisted my body to help Josh remove my shirt. When my head finally made its way out of the shirt, our eyes locked and time stopped. It was the first time I had looked at him since we got on the bed. The eye contact was too intimate, so I averted his burning gaze by looking forward and then closing my eyes. I laid there in only my bra and underwear while Josh remained fully clothed on his left side between me and the bedroom wall. His erect cock pressed hotly through his pants against the side of my now bare thigh.

He thumbed along my bra strap, then along the side of my breast down to the band of my bra. My shoulders shivered and lowered following his gentle touch. Not knowing what to do with myself suddenly, much less with my hands, I glued my clammy palms to the skin of my thighs and held my breath.

"Hmm," he hummed absently as he slid his hand softly back and forth across my ribs and along the curve of my breasts, fingers stopping just underneath the band of my bra. My damp center pulsed at his wordless question, but still having no words and my breath being far too shallow to speak, I nodded in answer, squeezing my eyes shut tighter and trying to fight the urge to jerk my arms up to block his movement. I always wore athletic bras out of habit and besides, my breasts were probably too small for a proper bra with a hook latch anyways.

When his thumb slid under the band, he asked again, "yeah?" And, again, I could only nod, holding my breath and squeezing my eyes shut tighter.

We repeated the movements from moments before and pulled my bra over my head. I didn't dare open my eyes this time after the bra was detangled from my arms and dropped on the floor somewhere next to the bed. I imagined that Josh was disappointed by the efforts he had put into revealing my B cup and pronounced ribs and that the silence was due to him not knowing how to kindly decline the body that was on offer to him. We remained there for a moment, me in my self-imposed darkness and Josh warm, solid, and hard against me with his right hand now casually burning a handprint along the bottom edge of my left breast and his thumb resting on my sternum.

This was the most bare my body had been to anyone. Tentative explorations of past hands were always cloaked in darkness, and even then, no pieces of clothing were ever removed. Now that I was naked saved for my underpants with every detail visible in the afternoon light, neither one of us seem to know what came next. My breath exited in short bursts through my mouth in anticipation of his rejection. I turned my head away from Josh, not wanting to breathe on him and wanting some space from the situation I had put myself in. The only escape from the embarrassment of being on display was to hide away from him in the darkness behind my eyelids.

But I had miscalculated. In turning away, I inadvertently exposed the side of my neck to him. His palm travelled excruciatingly slow over my breast, over my collarbone, and up my neck to cradle my cheek and pull me towards him. His lips landed a moan and soft open mouth kiss on the nape of my neck with his forehead pressed on my jaw, mimicking the way I greeted him in public.

Just then I realized that it had always been me who kissed him, never the other way around. This was the first time he had ever kissed my bare skin. This was the first time he had kissed me in any manner anywhere. If his reactions to my kiss on him were anything like mine to his, I couldn't understand how he remained decent at all at school. Heat spread through my body from where his pillowy lips touched my neck and I grew even wetter, which I didn't know was possible. My legs parted involuntarily and my body arched as a content sigh escaped my mouth. Somehow this felt more intimate than me grinding myself against his hand just minutes ago. Josh was kissing me and the quiet familiarity of it was suddenly scary.

Encouraged by my reaction, he mouthed at my collarbone and groaned when his hand travelled back down to palm my breast. His thumb softly played with my nipple, hardening it even more, and I couldn't repress the satisfied moan from leaving my mouth. I arched my back again, higher this time, jutting my right nipple towards his mouth. Josh dragged the flat of his impossibly warm and wet tongue across one nipple and then took it into his mouth greedily, sucking and flicking it with his tongue while his hand played with the other. I was moaning and panting in earnest now, heading towards the orgasm that evaded me earlier.

I breathed out his name again and again, the only word I could make in my debauched state, fevered and drunk with his soft lips and tongue on my skin. I gasped and got a scent of his shampoo, another smell to catalog as Josh. His mouth continued its ministration on my nipple but his hand had moved down to cup my sex. It wasn't enough, only making me greedier for his touch than before. I grabbed his wrist and moved his hand underneath my panties so he could touch me. I sighed in relief when his right hand slid down between my soaked lips. When he found the wetness that pooled there, he hissed and pressed the tip of his middle finger into me. Whatever embarrassment I had from being nearly naked was gone. I was mad with want and I wanted Josh, his hands, his lips, his mouth, his everything. "Yes," I sighed against his temple as I began to grind myself on his hand again, aided by my own wetness. In response, he let out a deep groan.

"Is this ok?" he asked right before laving at my nipple again.

"God, yes. I like it. I- I- yeah. Yes."

"Does this feel ok?" I felt the words against my skin more than hear it. "Does it feel good?" He pushed his middle finger deeper into me, meeting no resistance with the mess I was making. When my mouth fell open wordlessly, his finger began thrusting lazily in and out.

"Does my finger feel good inside you?" he asked again, lips now brushing against my neck.

"Yes, y- it- you- God, yes yes," I whimpered.

"I'm gonna take this off, ok?" he stated more than asked as he pulled his finger out and stopped the movement to tug at my underwear.

"Yeah, ok. Please take them off. Just take them off!" I replied, frustrated that his hand stopped moving. Josh only chuckled. I lifted my hips and pulled my knees towards my chest in cooperation. Once off of me, Josh flicked my underwear somewhere on the floor. Not a second later, his hand returned to my center to languidly spread the wetness from my opening to my clit and back down again. I mewled in frustration and sighed in relief when his middle finger pushed slowly and purposefully back inside me.

"Can I touch you? Please? Please, I want to touch you," I panted.

"Mmhmm," he hummed just below my ear and grabbed my hand that had been pinned between our bodies. Josh moved himself up so that I can cup him over his pants. My hand moved up and down his length at the same rhythm as I grinded myself on his hand, determined to reach an orgasm this time. The tugging had half of his cock peeking out from under his boxers and loose-fitting pants. I felt wetness on my palm as I continued to stroke him, but it wasn't enough, so I quickly reached down to gather my own wetness on to my hand before returning to his growing cock. Josh gave a deep groan when my wet hand began pumping him again. As my moans grew in loudness and frequency, Josh's left hand turned me to face him as his right palm rubbed my soaked clit and middle finger continued to explore my wet opening.

When his nose nudged mine, my eyes flew open in surprise and found his dark gaze going straight to my core and more wetness leaked out of me. It was travelling down the inside of my thighs now and probably was ruining my sheets. I had never made eye contact with anyone when I was about to come before and my whole body burned under the impossibly intimate nature of it. Up to this point, I could have just pretended that it was just me touching myself while imagining Josh there, as I had done many times in the past. Now I knew he was really there and I needed to hide. I closed my eyes again, shutting this new reality out.

He pushed his lips onto mine and tongue into my mouth and swallowed my increasingly loud moans as he pumped one, then two, then three fingers in and out of me. I screamed in pleasure at the stretch and frantically fucked myself on his hand all while continuing to pump his now fully exposed cock at the same speed. My fervored pace had us drinking in each other's moans.

Josh came with a loud grunt and bit down on my bottom lip, just shy of drawing blood and pushed his fingers even deeper into me, holding them there, as his thumb pushed down hard on clit. When I toppled off the edge after him, I screamed and pressed my thighs together, clenching to keep his fingers still inside me as I pulsed around his fingers. My eyes were squeezed so tight, whiteness exploded behind my eye lids.

After a while, we both eventually floated back down into our bodies. Josh's breathing had slowed somewhat against my neck and his grip of my head had eased. I felt my own heart slowed and found myself able to take deeper breaths than before. It was then I felt the warm stickiness on my hand. I flexed my fingers to test the viscosity of his cum which caused him to tense under me.

"Oh. Sorry," he shyly apologized.

"It's ok. I was the one that did it," I shrugged, trying to ease the sudden tension that fell into the room. I was rewarded with a chuckle that came from deep in his still heaving chest. I planted a chaste kiss on his smiling lips to further assure him. Josh pulled away from my hand and tucked himself back into his pants. He used the hem of his t-shirt to clean off his stomach and my hand, then he covered up the damp spot with his flannel shirt. Once done, he nestled himself against my side again and returned his hand to my stomach.

"Can I do that again?" he whispered against my collarbone after a few breaths, his still wet fingertips lightly tracing patterns on my stomach.

"Do what?" I asked absently, still blissed out from my orgasm and the intimacy of being pressed up against Josh.

"This," he answered, his lips brushing against mine as his hand travelled back into my still wet and still very sensitive folds and his tongue pushing into my mouth.

"Oh!" I exclaimed into his kiss, my body arching in response involuntarily.